Any solo mum's out there?

[DeuceMom]

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[Caite]

Hi MumbyChoice - nice to meet you. You must be so excited that you start TTC soon - all the best with it, and let's hope you are lucky first try.

I'm waiting for a number of reasons (something always seems to crop up!). I have some family issues going on at the moment, I want to be a bit more financially stable (I could afford IVF right now, and my maternity pay wouldn't be too bad compared to most) and I want to lose 2-3 stone. I should have started much sooner, but there never seemed to be the motivation, there was always something else stopping me TTC so it never seemed like too much of a big deal, but now I want it gone before pregnancy. I have a massive family history of type 2 diabetes and I want to do everything possible to avoid gestational diabetes.

I keep thinking it would be good to go the less medicated route (I avoid meds at all cost normally - I can't even remember when I last took a paracetamol!) but my periods are so irregular that IVF would give the best possible chance, I'm sure. Someone I know (not well enough to ask lots of questions) was going through IVF and she really struggled, so I'm hoping that that isn't always the case - I'm sure I'm kidding myself there, though - it must be so tough!

It's also going to be tough fitting it all in with work, now. I finally have a contract which means I can't just pick and choose when I work (that would have made it so much easier for IVF) - though at least I now have job security. It's just going to involve more planning and organisation!

KN - when do you get all the results back?

 

[darkriver]

I am really undecided what to do. It been horrible few months. I am currently being treated for psychosis. I have never felt like this before. I swing from wanting another to never being pregnant again.

 

[DeuceMom]

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[darkriver]

Thank you. I am on medication and hopefully will finally get pasts it.

 

[Caite]

Darkriver - sorry you're having a difficult time at the moment

I feel quite excited - I have (I think) just taken the first step in TTC! I have ordered online a day 21 progesterone blood test. I figured I would use the home ovulation tests to see if anything happens, and if I get a positive on those (got to work out how to use them!), then I'll do the blood test and send it off. I'm kind of hoping that, if I do ovulate, I can try home insemination first! I would like to do it as drug-free as possible.

I know it's not even a massive step, but it does actually feel like I'm doing something, moving towards TTC - I feel both massively excited and absolutely terrified (of the possibility of not ovulating and that I might have a TTC date sooner than I was expecting!).

 

[fairytales87]

Darkriver - sorry you're having a difficult time at the moment

I feel quite excited - I have (I think) just taken the first step in TTC! I have ordered online a day 21 progesterone blood test. I figured I would use the home ovulation tests to see if anything happens, and if I get a positive on those (got to work out how to use them!), then I'll do the blood test and send it off. I'm kind of hoping that, if I do ovulate, I can try home insemination first! I would like to do it as drug-free as possible.

I know it's not even a massive step, but it does actually feel like I'm doing something, moving towards TTC - I feel both massively excited and absolutely terrified (of the possibility of not ovulating and that I might have a TTC date sooner than I was expecting!).

It doesn't matter the size on the steps
Excitment and fear are both normal welcome on board the ttc rollercoaster
I hope to be back on it sometime soon
Good Luck Hun xx

 

[K.N]

Oh no; Darkriver - that doesn't sound good. Hugs xx

Caite - Should be any day now! And yay, I'm so glad for you making a start on your ttc journey! may only be small steps, but they are still STEPS and thats all it takes!!!

I started a cycle this month, so have started taking all the drugs for a transfer for this month! Hoping and praying that embryo #5 is the one!

 

[Caite]

Fingers crossed that this is your month, KN!

 

[K.N]

I really hope so! It's so weird, my last transfer cycle - I found it really hard to be optimistic, and couldn't think positive. I don't know why; of course I was guttered when it didn't work - but kind of half expected it. This month I am so into it - and thinking so positive and doing everything perfect. I feel like "this" is the month. But I know it also may not be. Feel like I'll be heartbroken and so upset if it ISNT the month!

Really starting to wonder,, how much more can I go through :/. Only have two embryos left - out of 6! So if this month doesn't work, I'll only have one left. And the idea of transferring that last little embryo just seems crazy. And scary. And I don't want to have to do it! So I'm praying that embaby #5 - is the one to stick and stay!

 

[Rags]

I really hope so! It's so weird, my last transfer cycle - I found it really hard to be optimistic, and couldn't think positive. I don't know why; of course I was guttered when it didn't work - but kind of half expected it. This month I am so into it - and thinking so positive and doing everything perfect. I feel like "this" is the month. But I know it also may not be. Feel like I'll be heartbroken and so upset if it ISNT the month!

Really starting to wonder,, how much more can I go through :/. Only have two embryos left - out of 6! So if this month doesn't work, I'll only have one left. And the idea of transferring that last little embryo just seems crazy. And scary. And I don't want to have to do it! So I'm praying that embaby #5 - is the one to stick and stay!

KN, I'm crossing everything and sending a wish out to the universe for you as I type. I'm glad to hear you're feeling positive, I know you've been through a lot to get here - and here you are! You have two lovely little frozen dreams sitting there waiting for their chance and that's more than they would have had if you'd not persevered. Keep your chin up and go for it and I hope this one's the charm.

 

[Caite]

It must be tough going through it month after month. Have you had your results back yet?

I have never wanted to see my period so much in my life at the moment. Once this one if out the way, I may at least know whether or not I'm ovulating. Maybe then I can start making some plans!

 

[Rosie2017]

I just read through 95% of all the messages! Wow what a journey you guys have been on, I'm so sad this thread isn't so active, but it's not dormant and that's great! It's been going for years! Hi! I am a young woman who has been wanting a baby since I was 15, still not TTC yet, as I want to lose some weight, get a new job and such... I know I am young but never really felt it, and since I've been broody and felt my biological clock ticking since 15 (5.5years) I feel like it's been so long and I'll run out of time if I don't get started in the next couple years.. Plus it's absolutely torture to constantly wish you were pregnant but know you aren't (I don't date so no chance of accidentally getting knocked up) but I get so sad when the witch (A.F) arrives, even though I know its the only thing that can happen haha... So thought I'd join this group, as I am hoping in the next year or 2 I will be joining you guys!

 

[Rosie2017]

Oh and I also wanted to ask what you guys think about something... Most people think being a single mum isnt ideal so you shouldn't choose it etc... Just wait for the right time etc etc.. Of course there is no perfect time, in any sense really. But is it bad to plan to have a baby when you aren't in a great place, mentally I've been ready for a long time, I already have plenty that they will need and have been preparing for a long time. But not only am I single, I am jobless, living at home, little-no savings...But desperately want a baby.. Yet I don't see this as so bad (bad enough to delay me for years but am getting used to it :'D ) don't judged me too harshly I'm just really broody (again!) at the moment. I watched my friend go through pregnancy, towards the end of high school, she now has 2 kids to the same guy, who dumped her after she gave birth to the first one, she has never worked, lives on the benefit (few jobs in this country/ area I live so this is normal for young adults here, though I've never been on the benefit) and lives a really happy life with her kids... And recently my sister who is a year younger than me and is always posting on fb asking for a place to stay for a week or two, or some spare cash, started dating a guy, then within a month got pregnant, they now live together and she has a 1 month old... I have worked plenty, and just 6 months ago was living on my own, studying full time, back in my home country- now am back with parents for now, looking to move back to my home country to work, and think about having a kid, I will only do it if I get a job and can get a bit of savings... but is this as bad as everyone I know acts like it is.. I mean I'm way more prepared than those who accidentally get pregnant and just deal as best they can so is it really that bad? Sorry for such a long message but this has been an ongoing war in my head for 5 loooooooong years

 

[K.N]

Hi Rosie - This definitely has been a lengthy thread!! It's always good to have a friendly support, that when needed - is right there! We all often check in and just read and may or may not post about our own stories each time - but often reply to each other! I think life just gets a bit crazy sometimes! I know for one, I blog most of my own journey as it gets pretty hectic that sometimes its easier! I looove reading back on my blog too, often ill go back to my first ever posts etc. I started my blog before I even started "properly" ttc!!

We're all in different stages, some wtt for various reasons, some ttc (both short and long term!) some with bubbas already, yet we all know exactly what each other has been through in terms of ttc - as a single woman! The world can definitely be quite judgemental, and I think it's important to remember that as long as you're happy and can commit to the decision, who cares what others think!!

Before I started my proper TTC journey, way back 4 years ago - i was at uni, living with my mum; and also didnt have a lot of savings but still went for it! While yes - babies CAN be expensive; as long as you have love you always make the extra stuff come after. I think you find a way to make it work! The difference with us SMBC is we PLAN parenthood, we know it's coming, we know what we want. So the idea of having no savings is scarier; than like you said those who don't plan it (single or couple!) and suddenly have 9 months to get savings and everything needed - yet they always cope! - A big welcome to this thread, and I hope we can answer any questions and help you along your journey xxxxx

 

[K.N]

As for me - i got my results back, well - sort of? She said oh yeah your results are back it looks allgood. But that was it? Didn't mention anything at all! So weird.

Not to long though till transfer. Has been a super super long month so far. Dragging along. Scan was allgood, and blood test in 2 days! Still on the oestrogen and aspirin. Will start the pessaries, antibiotics and steroids in a couple of days. This is crazy!!

Meanwhile; my friend and I have been dream shopping (she has a newborn, and everyone who knows me, knows i cant resist cute baby stuff!). Melody, (i only ask you coz you've shipped to me before hahaha) Can I buy stuff in the UK and get it shipped to you and have you ship it to me? haha! I hear theres a way to transfer postage money via paypal :O

 

[DeuceMom]

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[Rosie2017]

K.N- Wow that sounds hectic! Good luck with it all thank you for the welcome and support. What is your blog? I'll check it out, I read Melody has one too but unsure of hers either... I've been considering starting a blog too, recently I read that you were not quite 21 at the beginning of this thread, thats actually the reason I wanted to post, I did it a couple years back on a site and got reported and blocked because they said I was too young (even though I was of age) this is the first time I've come back to one of these kinds of websites since.. But I saw your age and no-one said anything, so felt comfortable enough to post so glad to find some nice, open/accepting people.. Maybe it's because everyone's planning to be a single mother so aren't really expecting "traditional" situations

DeuceMom- Thank you! Yeah I know there is no real right or perfect time... I definitely won't be getting pregnant before i get another job and am able to get some savings, otherwise I have wasted years waiting for nothing haha...
In terms of costs, as I have been thinking about this for 5 years, I have already got a decent amount of stuff in preparation (I just call it my weird hobby to people who dont understand) and have mini plans set in place for most thing- such as how to conceive, I was hoping a close friend of mine would help me- as we have discussed it before- but he's saying he doesn't want to do anything like that for another 5-10years(!) even though he has no intention of being more than a donor/friend and has no interest in the child itself, which is his choice but I don't want to wait that long, so I've been researching online donors in Australia and New Zealand (where I live) and am looking into at home IUI, as far as I know (going to go back for new testing because it's been over a year) I am totally healthy and shouldn't have problems conceiving but as anyone in the ttc group knows, that means nothing, so will see... When I'm in a better situation, probably when I go back to NZ and look for work, then I will re-evaluate my plan

 

[Caite]

Hi Rosie,

I'm currently WTT - it seems like it has been forever. I think I seriously started considering doing it on my own in my early 20s - I'm 30 now. Whilst I've dated during that time, it's never been anyone serious that I could see myself having a baby with. A number of my friends have children, some have split up with the dads and it's a nightmare for all involved. I decided early on that if I didn't find a man I could see myself raising a child with, I would rather do it alone.

For numerous reasons, I have been waiting years. Every time I think that's it, it'll bet his year, something crops up. However, I think this year will be the year I start TTC. I do feel disappointed that I've left it this long, but I've had a few really good and enjoyable years since making the decision and I don't regret them.

KN - great news your tests look good, I guess it would have been good to have some more feedback though.

I think AF might be on it's way, which means that soon I should be able to find out if I'm ovulating or not. Scary and exciting!

 

[DeuceMom]

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