Any solo mum's out there?

[Rags]

I've been researching online donors in Australia and New Zealand (where I live) and am looking into at home IUI, as far as I know (going to go back for new testing because it's been over a year) I am totally healthy and shouldn't have problems conceiving but as anyone in the ttc group knows, that means nothing, so will see... When I'm in a better situation, probably when I go back to NZ and look for work, then I will re-evaluate my plan

The one done at home is ICI. First step, though, would be to chart your cycles for a few months and do OPK testing to be sure you ovulate and such. That's something you can do now, even though you aren't actually TTC yet. It's really useful in keeping costs down (because timing is crucial in this endeavor) and especially helpful if you end up needing fertility treatment.

I fully agree with taking the time to do a bit of charting and OPK testing early on, it give a good indication if you're ovulating and when you eventually start TTC you have a fair bit more knowledge of your body and how/when it all works. I did basil body temps for 6 months before I began trying and although the clinic I went to based insemination times on OPK tests I went in to have my insemination knowing that I had actually ovulated, in fact on my 3rd IUI (the one I conceived on) I contacted the clinic based on my temps rather than the OPK as I always found them difficult - trying to work out when the line was at it's darkest.

 

[Rosie2017]

Thanks guys, yeah I own a lot of ovulation tests, havent been using them for a while but I'm pretty used to the signs (I started tracking it when I was 15) but I have been thinking about starting to properly pinpoint them again and wrote down all recent AFs in a journal to help... Yeah I know ICI is usually done at home, but I plan on doing IUI, it can be done at home and I have looked into doing it safely and all proper procedures- but haven't decided yet whether I will do ICI or IUI, I just like that IUI has better chances even if a little harder to do at home, far from impossible

 

[Rosie2017]

I do ovulate, but it only gives a rough guess for the next month because, while regular, my periods do change every month, despite having no health reasons according to doctors (could simply be because I have weight to lose, though they have always been like this) it ranges from 30-34 days, and I usually ovulate CD16-20

 

[K.N]

Yeah - I definitely started my journey earlier than most! And looking back, I was like whhaat was I thinking! I was actually only 19 when I contemplated this route! Definitely crazy, but then NOW I'm nearly 25, and still not any closer to pregnancy or motherhood - so I'm glad I DID start early! Guess when you know in your heart what you want, at the end of the day that's what's important.

I second/third what everyone else has said about using the "inbetween" months before actually TTC to find and start a good prenatal vitamin, find a good charting APP (I used pink pad - but there are heaps of others), and start noting down cycles and things. Even though you may know it, I found it really good to actually "document" and have to look back on, especially when I got to needing Dr's involvement - it made it so much handier to have on hand.

My blog is in my signature also - but there is A LOT to catch up on haha. A four+ year journey! I love that you have stuff in advance, i do too (maybe too much!) - i call it my weird "one day" hobby too haha. Positive thinking!!

 

[K.N]

As for me - I had my final blood test pre transfer today. All good, Transfer booked now. 5 days to go! ��������

A bit nervous about starting the rest of the drugs tomorrow though. Going to have SO many tablets to remember to take!!

Hope everyone else is going well xxxx

 

[Rosie2017]

Yeah I have pink pad too I am glad that I have my cycles written down, I take basic vitamins, I will start taking the prenatal vitamins I have when I get closer to my goal, a few months before I try
K.N- yay for no more blood tests for now, sorry you have to take so many pills but hopefully it means you'll get your baby soon, baby dust to you! Hopefully the 5 days don't drag on! Good luck (also so it is I didn't notice your blog on signature, thanks)

 

[fairytales87]

Dark River: hope your doing ok?

Rags: lovely to see you posting how are you and LO?

Melody: Hope you and baby Z are good? How's your new job?

KN: Everything Crossed for you

Caite: I'm super excited for you starting to properly TTC!! Have you changed your mind about your treatment plans from before?
You were going abroad and using a complete anonymous donor before I think?

Rosie: welcome to the solo mama thread
Everyone is lovely & I agree there is no perfect time for a baby
I wish you well in your journey look forward to sharing it with you


AUFM:
I had a few health concerns which seem to be getting better
*fingers crossed*
Can't remember if I mentioned here but my mental health took a huge turn my anxiety and depression were through the roof so I'm taking things a day at a time!!
IVF has taken a bit of a back step for me recently due to the above
Also my hormone levels & my thyroid levels aren't playing nice
I also stopped my meds and my prenatal vits whilst unwell so I need to start them all again and pray for my thyroid hormones etc to sort themselves out before I can do my next round

Hugs to all xx

 

[Rags]

Dark River: hope your doing ok?

Rags: lovely to see you posting how are you and LO?

Melody: Hope you and baby Z are good? How's your new job?

KN: Everything Crossed for you

Caite: I'm super excited for you starting to properly TTC!! Have you changed your mind about your treatment plans from before?
You were going abroad and using a complete anonymous donor before I think?

Rosie: welcome to the solo mama thread
Everyone is lovely & I agree there is no perfect time for a baby
I wish you well in your journey look forward to sharing it with you


AUFM:
I had a few health concerns which seem to be getting better
*fingers crossed*
Can't remember if I mentioned here but my mental health took a huge turn my anxiety and depression were through the roof so I'm taking things a day at a time!!
IVF has taken a bit of a back step for me recently due to the above
Also my hormone levels & my thyroid levels aren't playing nice
I also stopped my meds and my prenatal vits whilst unwell so I need to start them all again and pray for my thyroid hormones etc to sort themselves out before I can do my next round

Hugs to all xx

Oh fairytales, I'm sorry to hear that your health is letting you down at the moment. It's hard enough getting through the whole TTC stuff without your body not playing the game. Sometimes a proper break then starting fresh is just the thing I think.

As for me and DS - Ds is fabulous and wonderful and amazing and 7!!! how he got to that age so quickly I have no idea. I've had a pretty rubbish time since Christmas. Sudden and unexpected illness of my mum between Christmas and New Year left us all reeling and not knowing what would happen next. Unfortunately by mid February she had lost her battle and we were all fairly shocked. Ds was brilliant, so empathetic and loving, knowing just when I need a hug, at one point advising that 'maybe we shouldn't watch this film at this time mum' - I'd not realised it started with a death scene and he didn't want to upset me. I've a very supportive family and we're all here for each other so we're getting through it. The sun has been out for the past few days which is lovely and gives us an excuse to get out and about for more stuff than just work and school - the distraction we were needing.

 

[Rosie2017]

Fairytale- I'm sorry things haven't been going well for you, hopefully things pick up, your body starts playing along better and things get better for you, and fx the health concerns go away.

Rags- I'm so sorry for your loss

 

[fairytales87]

Oh Hun I'm so sorry to hear about your mum
Your DS sounds like a little gem xx

 

[K.N]

Oh no, sorry to hear Rags Glad your wee one is so supportive, i think its lovely when they can show empathy at such a young age!

Also sorry to hear your health has taken a turn fairytales - make sure you're being kind to yourself xx

Exciting Caite - i hope your wait to officially start ttc is over soon!!

 

[Rags]

Oh Hun I'm so sorry to hear about your mum
Your DS sounds like a little gem xx

It really brings into focus what being a mum really means. I can't help but hope that I'm half the mum to Ds that mine was to me - and to everyone else she came into contact with, and that he will think of me as warmly when my time eventually comes. God that sounds fairly morbid doesn't it!

 

[fairytales87]

Oh Hun I'm so sorry to hear about your mum
Your DS sounds like a little gem xx

It really brings into focus what being a mum really means. I can't help but hope that I'm half the mum to Ds that mine was to me - and to everyone else she came into contact with, and that he will think of me as warmly when my time eventually comes. God that sounds fairly morbid doesn't it!

I'm sure your every bit the amazing mum yours was & he sure will

 

[Caite]

Fairytales - sorry you've not had a great time of things recently. I hope you're feeling better, mentally and physically, very soon. I've decided I'm going to give home insemination a shot first - I'd rather do it without a whole bunch of drugs and trips abroad if at all possible. I've ordered an at home ovulation blood test online (it's done as a capillary blood sample from the finger tip - I'm sure it's going to take forever to fill the little bottle one drop at a time!). If that confirms that I am ovulating, then I will give the at home route a go. If it doesn't, or if things don't happen, my plan is overseas IVF. I still plan on doing it anonymously, though - it is possible to import sperm from abroad (from a clinic). It would seem a bit bizarre really ordering it online but it can be done. Anyway, if the ovulation tests are good, I'm thinking July/August for my first attempt (depending on when AF arrives).

Rags - I'm so sorry about your mum. Your little boy does seem very mature for his age.

 

[Rags]

Fairytales - sorry you've not had a great time of things recently. I hope you're feeling better, mentally and physically, very soon. I've decided I'm going to give home insemination a shot first - I'd rather do it without a whole bunch of drugs and trips abroad if at all possible. I've ordered an at home ovulation blood test online (it's done as a capillary blood sample from the finger tip - I'm sure it's going to take forever to fill the little bottle one drop at a time!). If that confirms that I am ovulating, then I will give the at home route a go. If it doesn't, or if things don't happen, my plan is overseas IVF. I still plan on doing it anonymously, though - it is possible to import sperm from abroad (from a clinic). It would seem a bit bizarre really ordering it online but it can be done. Anyway, if the ovulation tests are good, I'm thinking July/August for my first attempt (depending on when AF arrives).

Rags - I'm so sorry about your mum. Your little boy does seem very mature for his age.

Caite, it can all feel a bit strange in the planning stages, all the wading through profiles, deciding how and why you're choosing one over another - believe me it's really strange when the door gets knocked and the delivery driver hands you a package of sperm and you know what's in there and they don't!!!!!
How you decide to go about it is purely between you, and your little one in the future, no one else gets to make comment on it as it's about your life.
The capillary blood test sounds a bit dramatic if you need to fill the whole vile?! Capillary testing usually only involves getting a decent drop of blood onto a testing strip - hope that's how it works for you or it'll be like milking your finger (maybe good practice though if you intend to breast feed/express in the futre

 

[fairytales87]

Fairytales - sorry you've not had a great time of things recently. I hope you're feeling better, mentally and physically, very soon. I've decided I'm going to give home insemination a shot first - I'd rather do it without a whole bunch of drugs and trips abroad if at all possible. I've ordered an at home ovulation blood test online (it's done as a capillary blood sample from the finger tip - I'm sure it's going to take forever to fill the little bottle one drop at a time!). If that confirms that I am ovulating, then I will give the at home route a go. If it doesn't, or if things don't happen, my plan is overseas IVF. I still plan on doing it anonymously, though - it is possible to import sperm from abroad (from a clinic). It would seem a bit bizarre really ordering it online but it can be done. Anyway, if the ovulation tests are good, I'm thinking July/August for my first attempt (depending on when AF arrives).

Rags - I'm so sorry about your mum. Your little boy does seem very mature for his age.

Wow I didn't think you could ship to a non clinic address in the UK
I thought there was legal issues.
Fingers crossed your blood show your ovulating at you can begin as planned

 

[fairytales87]

As for me I have decided to quit ttc completely

I will still read/keep up with you all and your journeys xx

 

[Rags]

As for me I have decided to quit ttc completely

I will still read/keep up with you all and your journeys xx

Oh Fairytales, I'm sorry your journey has come to an end in this way, I will look forward to hearing from you and finding out how your life is going. All the best to you for whatever the universe has in store for you. Xx

 

[K.N]

Caite: I've never heard of capillary testing! Does it check your hormones or something?? Hoping things go easily for you - and that things work out at home well, because that definitely would be a lot easier and kinder on your body! If you are ovulating that is. But always good to have a back up plan. Exciting,, July/August - really isn't that far away at all when you think about it!

Ordering sperm isn't really a common thing here - actually it's really hard! Unless you know someone etc. And even with the clinical side of things - doing in home insem isn't an overly common thing. Which I find relatively surprising, because single mums aside - there is a high need for sperm donors AND being able to do it at home,, is way more affordable - and easier, and kinder (less drugs etc!). They tend to encourage IUI at the clinics here if you don't know someone to do in home insem on your own.

Ohhhh fairytales. That makes me so sad for you - I know how desperately you wanted this. I'm sorry things kept going so pear shaped for you Life sucks sometimes - incredibly so. Sending lots of hugs and love your way, and IF - IF you ever do decide to jump back on the band wagon, know we're all here for you. And if you don't - and your TTC journey is totally over; we have all travelled so much through this part of your life so if you're ever feeling sad, or lonely - or just want a chat we're here for you xx

 

[Rosie2017]

Fairytales- i'm so sorry things haven't worked out the way you were hoping, hopefully you get a nice surprise to make up for the mishaps along the way... We are here for you if you need us!