Any solo mum's out there?

[Rags]

I'm so sorry to her your sad news Cinderella, you've had an awful few weeks. I'm glad your donor has been around and supportive, do you have other support around you? I can't imagine how you are feeling. I'll be thinking about you on Monday and hope you get through it ok. Xx

 

[Rags]

Oh well, so much for all of my plans with Ds for our two bank holiday weekends this month. We were out having a wonderful day yesterday with a friend - they'd been playing for ages and I'd told them they could have 5 more minutes before we left - 2 minutes later Ds shouts out and holds up his arm, one look and it's very obviously broken!!! He was a wee star, let the nurse and Dr manipulate the bones back into place only using gas and air! Cast on for the next 4 weeks (so no swimming) and then another few weeks of limited physical activity (he's gutted he might miss out on sports day).

 

[Muggle]

Hello everyone,
I had read through this thread and the many stories a while ago when I started looking into TTC on my own and now it is great to be able to see updates on how everyone is doing.
A little about me, I am 33 and single. I started to think about using a sperm donor to conceive a child on my own back in my mid twenties but knew that I wanted to wait a few more years until I was more settled in my career. I never really believed the whole saying about your biological clock ticking until around September of 2017 when I definitely felt it and knew that I needed to get started. Since then I have been tracking my periods and the last couple months I started testing with OPKs to track ovulation. I am meeting with my donor tonight and this will be my first cycle trying to conceive.
I just want to say that being able to read through all your stories and experiences has been really helpful and encouraging.

 

[Rags]

Muggie, it's lovely to have you join us. I hope your meeting with your donor went well and that the whole process goes quickly and smoothly for you, I'm really looking forward to hearing from you over the next while. Very good luck. Xx

 

[Muggle]

Hi Rags,
Thanks, the meeting did go really well. I ended up inseminating twice this cycle, I'm not holding out too much hope for a positive as I this is my first time and I'm not sure that I had the timing right. I have to admit I am finding the tww way harder than I thought I would.

 

[Rainbobby18]

I'm a single Mom by choice ttc after a loss having my first insemination this weekend

 

[Rags]

Hello Rainbobby, I'm sorry you've had a loss, I hope your next shot goes better for you, I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Muggie, the TWW is an awful time which I remember well and can't give any advice on how to get through, apart from try to keep busy if possible! Getting the timing right is so difficult, I remember having a head full of numbers - if and egg lasts for 24hrs and sperm can live for 3 or 4 days but can sometimes last for 7 blah, blah, blah. Try not to get to caught up in it all, it only takes one sperm to be in the right place at the right time at that's as much to do with luck as planning!!!

 

[Cinderella]

Oh rags! Your poor boy! Although I remember always wanting to break a bone as a young child because wearing the cast seemed really cool 😂

Welcome Rainbobby and Muggle! This thread has been invaluable for me over the years, hope you find some comfort and knowledge here too!

Muggle our stories sound very similar, I too am 33, have been wanting this for a while but wanted to be settled in both home and career. Have tried (unsuccessfully) previously but now have a new donor and we literally had one try the cycle I got pregnant. We don’t have the luxury of trying exactly when I get a positive opk because he’s military and I’m police so our schedules are all over the place! I could see my opks get darker though and scheduled him in for two days later and got pregnant that first time!

As for me, I’m doing much better. That first week was dark, didn’t know if I could do this ever again because the thought of miscarrying again was just too scary... but now nearly 3wks later and I’m ready to go. My OPKs have started to darken so booked a night in a hotel for Thurs with plans to inseminate Thurs evening and Friday morning. I know it’s soon but I just feel better ploughing on.

Question... has anyone told work about being single? I had to do a return to work interview after the miscarriage and my manager was surprised I was pregnant because she didn’t know I had a partner and I just flat out lied and said I did, donor is now pretend partner (he knows and thinks it’s hilarious). I just couldn’t do it though, I didn’t want the judgement or the gossip 🙈

 

[Rainbobby18]

I've had 2 inseminations so far and will have 2 or 3 more this week then I'll just play the waiting game

 

[Muggle]

Thanks Cinderella, I really am glad that I found this thread. It is so nice to know that there are others out there trying for the same thing,and because I don't know anyone in real life who has chosen to go the single mom route I have really enjoyed reading everyones stories here.

This is my first cycle trying and one of the things that worries me most about being a single mom by choice is the judgement and questions from people, including co-workers. I'm not sure I would do any differently in your position, I guess I hope that people will become more familiar and accepting of the different forms that families can take.

Good luck with the insemination on Thursday and Friday, hopefully May will be a lucky month for all of us trying

 

[Rainbobby18]

Had another insemination last night. It went a lot smoother now that I have gotten the hang of inserting the softcup I'm debating having one more insemination on my birthday or not.

 

[Muggle]

Hi Rainbobby18,
I felt the same way after my second insemination, with the first one I was very worried about inserting the softcup correctly but the second time it seemed much easier. I wish I had been able to inseminate one or two more times, I was only able to meet up with my donor twice this cycle and I think I timed it a little too early.
I'm finding the wait incredibly long, the first few days after inseminating I was sure that something was going on and I was going to get a bfp, but the last couple days I've felt like I'm out this cycle.

 

[Rainbobby18]

Hi Rainbobby18,
I felt the same way after my second insemination, with the first one I was very worried about inserting the softcup correctly but the second time it seemed much easier. I wish I had been able to inseminate one or two more times, I was only able to meet up with my donor twice this cycle and I think I timed it a little too early.
I'm finding the wait incredibly long, the first few days after inseminating I was sure that something was going on and I was going to get a bfp, but the last couple days I've felt like I'm out this cycle.

You're not out until the red lady sings. Fx for you

 

[Cinderella]

Fingers crossed ladies! I got my peak about 36hrs ago and off to meet the donor in a few hours! I think I'm going to be a little too late on this cycle but figured having a tiny shot would be better than no shot at all!

Although saying all that, (TMI ahead) my cervix has been really low and really soft, which doesn't match what you're supposed to be at when you're ovulating (which is high and soft) and I've got barely no CM, so god knows what's going on! I feel like it's doubly difficult when you're using a donor because most of us don't have the luxury of getting inseminations whenever we want, for me at least there's a lot of planning involved and if that doesn't match with when I actually ovulate it feels like a massive waste of time and money. But it's worked once so fingers crossed it'll work again!

I treated myself to a nice posh hotel on the beach, so once he's done and gone I'm going to enjoy a big comfy bed and beach walks and hope my softcup is in right

 

[Rainbobby18]

Fx and baby dust for you Cinderella!

I agree it is hard to schedule inseminations at the right time with a donor.

 

[Rainbobby18]

My inseminations are done for this cycle so now I'm just gonna wait

 

[Cinderella]

My two inseminations are done too!
Really struggled with the soft cup this morning, last month it was fine and went in perfectly, this month it just felt like it was in sideways and I don’t think it held anything 🤷🏻*♀️😂

My app says 10 days to af, but I don’t think that’s accurate as I only just got my positive opk 🤷🏻*♀️ Either way, I’ll be testing in 10 days! Fingers crossed and baby dust ladies! 🤞🏻🤞🏻

 

[fairytales87]

Good luck everyone xx

 

[Cinderella]

Oh God... I need some advice regarding donors 🙈
We were talking online for about 8 months and then met up for coffee and continued to chat for a few months. I was quite clear on my expectations, how I wanted him to be known but definitely just as a donor and not a daddy, with the occasional meeting (maybe twice a year at most) just so he wasn’t this unknown entity. He agreed with this and said he was grateful to have some involvement....

Get to last night and he sent me a text saying ‘can’t wait to be a dad again...’ 🤨
I don’t want to make it more than it is because he might not mean anything by it, but he seems to slowly be changing the goal posts and I’m not comfortable with it. (As an aside, I went on his Facebook account yesterday for the first time in months and he’s pretty much the exact opposite to me in terms of politics, which might seem like a strange thing to focus on but it’s just making me think he’s not a very nice person, I’m definitely a liberal lefty and believe in socialism and he is as right wing as they get).

What would you do? He got me pregnant on the first try so on a selfish level I just think crack on with it, I don’t need to live with the guy so it shouldn’t matter that we’re so different. And if I were to call things off with him, how on earth do you go about doing that without leaving any tension?

Any thoughts much appreciated! I think you ladies are in the unique position of being the only ladies able to provide an opinion on this!

 

[Rainbobby18]

Oh God... I need some advice regarding donors 🙈
We were talking online for about 8 months and then met up for coffee and continued to chat for a few months. I was quite clear on my expectations, how I wanted him to be known but definitely just as a donor and not a daddy, with the occasional meeting (maybe twice a year at most) just so he wasn’t this unknown entity. He agreed with this and said he was grateful to have some involvement....

Get to last night and he sent me a text saying ‘can’t wait to be a dad again...’ 🤨
I don’t want to make it more than it is because he might not mean anything by it, but he seems to slowly be changing the goal posts and I’m not comfortable with it. (As an aside, I went on his Facebook account yesterday for the first time in months and he’s pretty much the exact opposite to me in terms of politics, which might seem like a strange thing to focus on but it’s just making me think he’s not a very nice person, I’m definitely a liberal lefty and believe in socialism and he is as right wing as they get).

What would you do? He got me pregnant on the first try so on a selfish level I just think crack on with it, I don’t need to live with the guy so it shouldn’t matter that we’re so different. And if I were to call things off with him, how on earth do you go about doing that without leaving any tension?

Any thoughts much appreciated! I think you ladies are in the unique position of being the only ladies able to provide an opinion on this!

It can be a little awkward but it's something to talk about so he's clear on where he stands as for his online life don't let it worry you as long as he knows his role and doesn't try to push for more or push his opinions on you I would keep him as a donor only find another if you're no longer comfortable with him