Any solo mum's out there?

[Rainbobby18]

I'm about 3 or 4 DPO I'm not really counting and I'm trying not to symptom spot I'm just biding my time to see if af is gonna show her ugly face I'm treating myself like I'm already pregnant though eating more fruits and veggies especially my leafy greens cutting down on my coffee and alcohol and drinking a lot of water and taking my vitamins

 

[fairytales87]

I think you need to be very very clear to him that he is simply a donor
I would also trust your instincts and if you don't have a good feeling then perhaps start looking for another donor.

 

[Cinderella]

Thanks for the input ladies! I’m really unsure so plan to just have a bit of a frank discussion with him about it all. I thought I already had been frank with him but something has clearly got lost in translation! I’m starting to think I might already be pregnant (crazy I know, I’m 4dpo!) so don’t want to rock the boat too much just in case I am and this one sticks so will wait until af or bfp before discussing it! I can get over the politics thing, because I don’t plan on being that involved with him afterwards... he’s just started messaging me more recently and asking if I want a coffee if he’s ever in the area 🤷🏻*♀️

 

[Rainbobby18]

Thanks for the input ladies! I’m really unsure so plan to just have a bit of a frank discussion with him about it all. I thought I already had been frank with him but something has clearly got lost in translation! I’m starting to think I might already be pregnant (crazy I know, I’m 4dpo!) so don’t want to rock the boat too much just in case I am and this one sticks so will wait until af or bfp before discussing it! I can get over the politics thing, because I don’t plan on being that involved with him afterwards... he’s just started messaging me more recently and asking if I want a coffee if he’s ever in the area 🤷🏻*♀️

You're welcome. Omg I'm only 5dpo and I think I might be also. Whoa he's pushing the boundaries a lot I would definitely discuss that. It's inappropriate.

 

[fairytales87]

Sounds to me like he wants it to be more than just a donor.
Where did you find him? What did he say at first he wanted?

 

[Rags]

Cinderella, if this one takes would it be too sneaky to say to him that it hasn't and that you're not sure when you're going to try again and that you'll be in touch and then just get on with it yourself?
I know it's far from ideal and not the way you wanted to do things but I think if I were in your position I wouldn't be letting him know that I was expecting and I'd probably be looking at other options rather than continuing with him should this one not stick. It really comes down to what you are wanting from the future, would it be awful to have this man in your life and if he is hoping to have access to the child what kind of influence would he be. Also, once you give him access are there ramifications legally, even if he's not on the birth certificate can he seek legal advice to be know as the other parent?
Did you make any kind of contract with him at the start? That's a good way of being very clear about yours and his expectations. If you've not got a contract then do you have a copy of your email correspondence when you discussed what you wanted and what he'd be happy with? I'm not trying to complicate things for you but crossing the T's and dotting the i's at this stage could make the next 18 years far more pleasant for you all.

Good luck. Xx

 

[Rainbobby18]

The waiting is starting to get to me! Thank God I don't have any tests or I would be peeing on all the things.

 

[Cinderella]

Rainbobby - tell me about it! I do have tests and trying not to pee on anything for at least another 4/5 days!

Rags and Fairytales: thank you for your input. I think I know I need to cut my ties with him. He started to say stuff like ‘we get on so well together’ recently too, when I’ve made it perfectly clear that I’m not after a relationship with him. We’ve mainly communicated through text, so they’re all there saved on my phone but it would take some rifling to find the relevant ones.
I have toyed with what to do if I am pregnant, my sister suggested not saying anything to him but I’d be so worried about him ever finding out and then causing a scene or demanding visitation etc. I always told him I wouldn’t put him on the birth certificate and he would be the ‘donor’ not the daddy and he was always ok with it, but he’s just started getting more friendly despite how much I’m trying to knock it on the head.

I think I have my answer though, the very fact I’m having to think about these things makes me realise that I can’t carry on with him. I’m just worried about how to end it without upsetting him though, he doesn’t know where I live or anything, but he knows my county and the fact that I work for the police, it wouldn’t be hard to cause upset for me (not that I have reason to believe he would try to be difficult, I just know from work how weird some guys can get!) anyway, I found him on a Facebook donor site, lots of ladies have been having great success and I thought the very fact I’d spoke to him for a year before we actually tried meant I knew him a bit better to make a judgement call 🤷🏻*♀️.

I’m starting to think Cryos would be a good idea, I just wouldn’t be able to afford every cycle, more like every 3/4 cycles for a lot less of a success rate! This is so hard!

 

[Rainbobby18]

Cinderella: Have you tried to find a donor thru knowndonorregistry?

 

[Cinderella]

I haven’t rainbo, I used CoParents.co.uk for my first donor who gave up after 3 months. And then Facebook for my current donor. Will have a look 👍🏻

 

[Rainbobby18]

I haven’t rainbo, I used CoParents.co.uk for my first donor who gave up after 3 months. And then Facebook for my current donor. Will have a look 👍🏻

I found my donor there he is awesome. There are some creeps on there so you will have to weed thru it. There is a specific search you could do for donors as well.

 

[Rainbobby18]

About 10dpo and have been feeling wet below like a drippy faucet sorry TMI but I don't know how else to describe it

 

[Cinderella]

About 10dpo and have been feeling wet below like a drippy faucet sorry TMI but I don't know how else to describe it

I had this last month! Huge change for me so I thought I might be pregnant. I’ve been having it this time too but actually think af is about to start and I’m a little bit relieved.

AFM: was literally having lots of white discharge, tingly nipples and a shadow on an hpt so sure I was pregnant, yet just now I’m having these sharp butt pains that I only get during af so sure I’m about to start. I’m massively disappointed because it would have been nice to be pregnant, but it gives me a chance to call things off with donor and search for a new one. Although that just seems exhausting at this point, I don’t know if I have it in me to spend another half a year/ year getting to know someone for it to end badly 😩🙈 especially knowing that with my current donor it’s relatively easy. I know that’s not the right attitude though, I can’t risk him wanting more involvement or wanting to get into a relationship when it’s not on the cards!

 

[Rainbobby18]

Cinderella: I'm trying not to get my hopes up. Af is 6 days out. I don't feel out yet. I've never had this type of cm before after O. Is it normal?

 

[Cinderella]

I heard it’s an increase in progesterone when you’re newly pregnant, which made sense but I haven’t looked into it! It’s really hard not to get your hopes up either way! fingers crossed this is the start of something for you!
I was sure I’d have blood but I just went to pee and nothing so 🤷🏻*♀️ Who knows? I’m definitely wet feeling. I’m pretty much testing every day until af now so I’ll see what tomorrow’s test says 😂

 

[Cinderella]

So, I’m pretty sure I got a faint line on a cheapie this morning. Others could see it too so I’m not going crazy! I can’t post a picture because I’m on mobile. It very much looks like my IC bfp from 12dpo last cycle, only I’m only 9dpo! I’ve got horrible nausea, wretching and cramps like last month and this all started in the early hours of this morning! 🙈
If I am pregnant, I’m obviously going to be thrilled and just think long and hard about what to do about the donor. On a selfish level, I want to keep the guy around because apparently he can always get me pregnant 🤷🏻*♀️

 

[Rags]

So, I’m pretty sure I got a faint line on a cheapie this morning. Others could see it too so I’m not going crazy! I can’t post a picture because I’m on mobile. It very much looks like my IC bfp from 12dpo last cycle, only I’m only 9dpo! I’ve got horrible nausea, wretching and cramps like last month and this all started in the early hours of this morning! 🙈
If I am pregnant, I’m obviously going to be thrilled and just think long and hard about what to do about the donor. On a selfish level, I want to keep the guy around because apparently he can always get me pregnant 🤷🏻*♀️

Oh Cinderella, I'm hoping this one sticks for you. I know it looks far from ideal with the donor suddenly but you will find a way to work through things if needs be. x

 

[Rainbobby18]

So, I’m pretty sure I got a faint line on a cheapie this morning. Others could see it too so I’m not going crazy! I can’t post a picture because I’m on mobile. It very much looks like my IC bfp from 12dpo last cycle, only I’m only 9dpo! I’ve got horrible nausea, wretching and cramps like last month and this all started in the early hours of this morning! 🙈
If I am pregnant, I’m obviously going to be thrilled and just think long and hard about what to do about the donor. On a selfish level, I want to keep the guy around because apparently he can always get me pregnant 🤷🏻*♀️

fx cinderella! I totally understand wanting to hold on to your donor because he can get you pregnant.

 

[Cinderella]

Thanks guys! Very nervous, like, there’s not even any joy in there at the moment because I’m so worried that this won’t end well. As well as all of the overwhelming pregnancy symptoms I’m still having my specific af symptoms so unsure of this is going to end up a chemical or if I’m just overthinking everything 🙈😩

 

[Cinderella]

Rainbo - how you doing today?