Any teens TTC?

[xXx Vamp xXx]

i also said that im not saying under 18s r bad mums just because of their age i simply said in the eyes of the law they are still children.

i was 19 when me n oh started talking about a family so im not against teen pregnancy i just think at a certain age u shouldnt start ttc cuz between the ages of 16-19 is when we do our most growing up finding out who we are and what we want and i think planning a baby at that time isnt the right thing to do after all why not wait?

I was 18 when I began to TTC with my ex-fiance. He was told he wouldn't live past 18 years old as he suffers from Marfan syndrome, and has problems with his heart and his father died of the same thing when he was 21. When me and him got together we'd been close friends for many years and he was already turning 23. We'd been together a year when we decided to TTC. We decided we wanted a family together whilst we could, and therefore started trying at that age. I was working full time and have a full college education. It was what was right for us at that time. Unfortunately 2 and a half years of failed TTC was too much for us in the end and we ended up growing apart, but I'd never regret TTC at that age. I understand what you're saying about living your life whilst your young, and sometimes lifes situations are such that you can do that, but under the situation I had, and knowing that at any point my fiance could no longer be there? I think I did the right thing.

Life had other plans for us though, and it didn't work out, but I still know in my heart it was right and in the same situation again I'd do the exact same thing.

 

[Arcanegirl]

We started TTC when i was 17, now truth be told neither of had jobs and we were on jobseekers, but as it turned out we had trouble concieving so we got jobs, got osme money together and here we are now as strong as weve ever been, in good jobs and pregnant.
But....i wouldnt support under 18s ttc either,
I know now we should have waited to at least get jobs before ttc, we were lucky to get ourselves sorted out before falling.

as for those who say live your life first, whilst i may be 21 now, i dont like to go clubbing, i dont have many friends around me, especially my age group so i consider my life as being having a decent job and staying at home and i would rather live my life with having kids.
If i choose to build up my career then i want to do that later on in my life.

Dunno why i posted really, just wanted to share our "history" and my opinion...

 

[claire1983]

I had my daughter at 21 and I was married been in relationship for 7 years and been desperate for a baby since I was 17. I wouldnt change my daughter for the world but having a baby was a shock and I thought I knew what to expect.... I didnt, my marriage failed and I am now going through a divorce. Lucky for me I am now with a great guy that I have known for 10 years and we are happier than ever, we live together and he loves my duaghter. But I have been in a well paid job for a number of years, one that I hate but feel trapped in as I have to provide. I want to be a midwife and I am applying to university to start a midwifery degree for 2009. But it hasnt been easy, I have had to make sure my new partner is on a really good wage to support me and my daughter because we will lose my income, it isnt easy starting a uni course when you have a child as you always have to support that child so you end up staying in jobs you hate cos you cant afford to go to univerisity unless your partner is lucky enough to have a really good job. In this credit crunch we are all stretched financially, everything is getting more and more expensive and people on 30k a year are even feeling the pinch, how can you possibly imagine living off an average 15k! I have been lucky and things are working out for me now but I have lost a lot of money going through all this and had to wait a long time to start the career I have wanted for years, its going to be financially hard and it would of been so much easier to be a student without the responsibility of being a mum. I could of house shared, lived off beans but with a child I have to make sure I can provide a stable home. I know I have waffled a lot but I think you should make something of your life, get a nice house and a career to provide for your kids before you have a baby, its only a few years and it goes so fast, at least that way you can concerntrate on them when they are born, rather than moving them about while you change house, career etc and worrying where the next meal is coming from cos your average job is not enough to realistically live off.

 

[pennysbored]

ah crap look what i started.

Thats what I like about you, UV. Not scared to go against the grain.

 

[TashaAndBump]

We started TTC when i was 17, now truth be told neither of had jobs and we were on jobseekers, but as it turned out we had trouble concieving so we got jobs, got osme money together and here we are now as strong as weve ever been, in good jobs and pregnant.
But....i wouldnt support under 18s ttc either,
I know now we should have waited to at least get jobs before ttc, we were lucky to get ourselves sorted out before falling.

as for those who say live your life first, whilst i may be 21 now, i dont like to go clubbing, i dont have many friends around me, especially my age group so i consider my life as being having a decent job and staying at home and i would rather live my life with having kids.
If i choose to build up my career then i want to do that later on in my life.

Dunno why i posted really, just wanted to share our "history" and my opinion...

Couldn't have said it better myself - I'm 19 and my family is my life, which I love.

 

[Ella]

Truth be told, I'm not THAT much of a 'party animal', though I have done my fair share since I turned 16 haha..

But I definately think that having a family is a number one priority in my life and I completely adore kids, but I know that having just left college and looking for a full-time job.. There is no way I could give a child a financially comfortable life right now, though I also know if it did happen, I'd cope, just like everyone does
xx

 

[claire1983]

People say 'I'd cope if it happens' all the time, but would just wants to cope! You cant go away on holidays, go out for family meals buy nice clothes for yourself and kids or have a nice place to live in a good area to bring up kids. I know what its like I have been there when I was on my own after leaving my husband. You have to say no to every event cos you havent got any money and you dred people's birthdays coming up cos you know you cant get them much. You have to buy really cheap kids clothes and spend your time looking in the Next directory at all the lovely clothes you wish you could buy for them. Luckily I am not in that position anymore but I know a lot of people who are and have been for quite some time these are the people who said I'm waiting, I'm not trying and they are having unprotected sex with their partners every night and then say I dunno how that happened we weren't trying! If you dont want to 'just cope' make sure you are having safe sex until you are ready to get pregnant - too many people think it takes ages to conceive but I and many others get pregnant in the first month of trying so unless your ready right away dont start having unprotected sex otherwise you will 'just cope' forever like many of my friends.

 

[AppleBlossom]

I had Grace when I was 19, pregnant at 18. I don't understand why teens ttc. Ifit was an 'accident' like my pregnancy then there's not much you can do. I love Grace to bits but if I could go back to being able to have my freedom and do what I want when I want I would. There's so many things I wanted to do, like go to uni and get a house with mates. I can still go to uni but I won't be able to live with friends, have parties etc like teenagers are supposed to do. I admire young mums as I know how hard it is being one but it makes me sad to think that young girls are in such a hurry to throw all their freedom away. Don't get me wrong, having a baby is wonderful and I would be a hypocrite to say being a teen mum is a bad thing but for those who aren't in the situation of becoming pregnant by accident, wait until you're a bit older! The excitement of pregnancy, birth etc will still be the same. Enjoy the time you have to yourself first, having a baby is a lifetime commitment.

 

[Ella]

Oh Claire, I totally agree with you.. and by no means am I an 'accident waiting to happen'.. I'm on the pill and I know I wouldn't want to 'just cope' with a child.. I'd want my baby to have everything I wanted it to have, which is why I'm WTT
xx

 

[heather91]

I'd just like to add a point about the stability issue thing. I haven't read the whole thread so sorry if I'm repeating, but someone mentioned somewhere along the line about TTC being ok if you'rfe 16 but have moved out of your home and are renting, working full time, etc. I was just wondering how realistic this is in the current climate? When I found out I was pregnant (unplanned) my OH moved into my parents house with me, because even though we BOTH work full time there is no feasible way we could afford to pay rent/mortgage on a house and feed our baby and ourselves. [My wage is terrible though so I'm going back to college in the hope of persuing a career where we will be able to afford this!]

That's a genuine question not hypothetical btw. Also my opinion on teenagers TTC, I think TTC while still in compulsory education shouldn't be encouraged. x

 

[heather91]

Oh and can I just add (lol), I wouldn't recommend people to TTC at my age either (17) because you sort of immediately lose your childhood if that makes sense. Even though I class myself mature for my age, I do miss just being able to have fun with my OH instead of worrying about paying our rent, how we're going to afford things for the baby etc. I wouldn't change my pregnancy for the world though, I just wouldn't recommend it. x

 

[Donna-marie]

at the end of the day no matter what age you are every new mum has got to learn im 19 and havin my 1st and im just as scared as any new mum would be.so age doesnt matter it doesnt mean its a bad thing cuz ur young

 

[Ella]

Hey heather, I think what they meant is that anyone under 18 shouldn't really be actively encouraged to be TTC BUT if they have finished compulsory education, stand on their 'own two feet', are in a stable loving relationship and can support themselves then it really is their own decision.

I think that no matter how old you are, you're always going to struggle financially (unless you're completely loaded) because obviously, the mother cannot work full-time anymore and the father's wage (I'm guessing) would be the only source of income.

I don't think anyone on this site would support girls/couples still in compulsory education TTC
xx

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

Oh my, i completely missed this entire thread. I'm not really sure what i think, I'm 19 so pretty young and was just wondering if i'd still be classed as a teen, because technically i am. I personally am wtt BUT that's only because my OH isn't ready, if he were then i'd probably be TTC so i guess most would disagree with that. But i also know that one, or maybe 2 years ago i would have been too young so i can see the difference.

As far as I'm aware there's only one person on here that could possibly fit into the category of under 18 TTC. I sure wouldn't like to be her right now when she finds this thread. I also worry about what might happen to those who may have given her some advice, because i think that could include me.

I don't know i'm confusing myself. But i can understand why BnB can't be seen as encouraging under 18's TTC and i think nicky's post explained that really well.

 

[codex]

i have an issue with under 18s ttc though.

So do I although it depends if the 17 year old falls in school year or not! Under 17 is my bigger issue.

I don't like supporting a 16 or below on BabyandBump TTC in fact I want it to become apart of the rules.

I won't support my daughter trying for a baby at that age (school age) so why would I here? If shes left school and she makes this decision you know what I'd never shut the door on her but it would be her life and her time to move on supporting her own family choices not Mummy & Daddy doing it.

I also have an issue with this. And whoever said who's business is it...well it is everyone's because we pay taxes that pay the healthcare bills and welfare that too many young moms go on. Teens have no business getting pregnant on purpose.

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

i have an issue with under 18s ttc though.

So do I although it depends if the 17 year old falls in school year or not! Under 17 is my bigger issue.

I don't like supporting a 16 or below on BabyandBump TTC in fact I want it to become apart of the rules.

I won't support my daughter trying for a baby at that age (school age) so why would I here? If shes left school and she makes this decision you know what I'd never shut the door on her but it would be her life and her time to move on supporting her own family choices not Mummy & Daddy doing it.

I also have an issue with this. And whoever said who's business is it...well it is everyone's because we pay taxes that pay the healthcare bills and welfare that too many young moms go on. Teens have no business getting pregnant on purpose.

What age are you referring to here? What about those who are say 17+ and can afford to support themselves. Not all teen mums live off benefits/welfare.

 

[princess_x0]

Well I for one am a teen and currently wtt, but I don't see anything wrong with teens ttc as long as they are prepared and emotionally and financially stable I don't agree with teens getting pregnant for what they can get out of us tax payers.
I know for one if my daughter told me she was pregnant when she was at school, I would support her whatever decision she made. But I would not encourage termination. I would make her stand on her own two feet though, so she can learn how hard it is to make ends meet.

 

[TashaAndBump]

i have an issue with under 18s ttc though.

So do I although it depends if the 17 year old falls in school year or not! Under 17 is my bigger issue.

I don't like supporting a 16 or below on BabyandBump TTC in fact I want it to become apart of the rules.

I won't support my daughter trying for a baby at that age (school age) so why would I here? If shes left school and she makes this decision you know what I'd never shut the door on her but it would be her life and her time to move on supporting her own family choices not Mummy & Daddy doing it.

I also have an issue with this. And whoever said who's business is it...well it is everyone's because we pay taxes that pay the healthcare bills and welfare that too many young moms go on. Teens have no business getting pregnant on purpose.

I think this may have been me. If so, the context I would have said it in was that if teenagers (17+) were independent, in a stable relationship and both emotionally and financially stable decided that they wanted to TTC as the next step in their life and relationship, THEN it would be none of our business. In which case, none of the stuff you said about taxes to pay healthcare and benefits is at all relevent.

I am a teen mother and I am not on any benefits (other than carers allowance, which as I have explained before is more like a wage imo). I care fulltime for my husband and we have nothing free - we rent a bungalow, we pay our bills, we do our shopping and we live independently as a young family. What I do (i.e. getting pregnant the first time, or getting pregnant again as we plan to do) is none of anyone's business except our own.

 

[Alyandherbump]

OK so i havent read all of this topic because its really long. I know all about what its like to be seen as a teen mum who is out to get all the benefits and a free house and whatever. Some of the looks i got from people when they found out that i was 3 months pregnant after my boyfriend and i had been together for 3 months were enough to make me question my decision to go ahead with the pregnancy (and let me just say how happy i am that no one else's view pressured me into a decision). People didn't want to know that i didnt try for this baby, although it is very much wanted now, and was waiting to ttc like so many others. They didnt want to know that actually me and my boyfriend have our own house and he has a very well paid job and plenty of money in the bank and savings (thanks to an inherritence). No one cared that we'd been best friends for 6 years before we admitted we had feelings for each other. People look at me and think.....teen mum, got pregnant sleeping around, will sponge off all our tax money. Its not fair to look at people like that and i will never be one of those people. I think if you are ttc then you must have your reasons and you must believe that you will be a good mum/parents and ultimately it is up to as it is your life and you will be responsible for the life you create and bring into this world. People of all ages get benefits for their children, not just teenagers, and plenty of older people are questionable parents. No one can say for sure who is going to be a good or bad parent. Each case is indevidual and i just wish people would ask more about my situation before they judge me, as im sure a lot of people here do aswell.

Ok my rant is over!!!!
xxxx

 

[JayleighAnn]

OP, I'm 18 and TTC And Lyrah, I fretted as much as you when it seemed that they were saying that we wouldnt be allowed as were teen and ttc but low an behold...we were just both being blonde lol