Anyone else not sure they want oh at delivery?

[Athena]

To the people who wouldn't want their hubbie to look - if you're worried about him seeing your bits, surely he's seen it all before?

If it's because it'll be all grim and bloody and messy, then IMO if he chooses to look then that's his own funeral! Makes no odds to me

This made me LOL yes he's seen it all before but not stretched and bulging to the size of a baby's head crowning

No way I'm letting my DH look, not that he'd want to he can stay up the head end. No way would I stop him from being there all together, firstly you want him to SEE how much pain you're in so he appreciates forever what you went through to give him this child and secondly, joking aside I wouldn't want to go through that beautiful experience without my hubby there with me, it really is such a special time

 

[xsadiex]

My partner said it was the most amazing thing In the world to see his head out and I don't mind him having a look! It's his baby after all he's lucky he can jut watch and enjoy the show haha.
He said it didn't change anything about the way he feels sexually towards me, and oops were pregnant again. I think it's pathetic that some men feel like that to be honest. We are not just here for sex, we also do the wonderful job of creating humans and deserve upmost respect for that.

Oh and the midwife asked him if he wanted to have a look so he peeked round, he was there holding my hands during the pushing, it great to have that one on one support.

 

[Whimsy82]

I wouldn't care if my DH looked. He just doesn't want to, which is also fine with me! I DO want him there, however. I'll need him to hold my hand and share the joy when our baby makes it's first appearance! I can't wait to see him hold the baby for the very first time.

 

[vanzaroni]

This is my first, and I want OH there and really wouldn't care if he peaked, but every time I even say "birth" he gets a squeemish look on his face haha. So I figure, if he is brave enough to look, so be it. But I would be on the fact he'll stay up holding my hands and see his son once he is out.

 

[jenniferttc1]

Honestly, you won't care who is looking down there, your focus will be getting that babies head out. I never in a million years thought I would want my husband looking, or 4 other close people in my life, but I had my mom, husband, sister, best friend and cousin all looking and very close, and I didn't even think about it honestly. I think you should let him look, it's the most beautiful and amazing thing a woman's body can do, and it's an amazing experience to talk about together. He can help you remember the events (cause it's kinda blurry in your head) I also had a mirror down there watching and it was so beautiful. It made my husband just love me so much more knowing what I went through to bring his son to this world. He actually can't wait to watch it again!

 

[jenniferttc1]

BTW, if some are worried cause they don't want them to see all the nasty blood and stuff, it's not just on your vagina, the blood and waters are everywhere, and you will be frequently cleaned and new mats down so they will see it no matter what if they are even in the room. It's very messy, and a little gross, especially sitting in all of it. But their focus is on the baby, they don't care about the blood and stuff

 

[runnergrl]

wow. I am really surprised at some of the responses in here. I'd even go so far as to say that we need to be supportive of each other, not get offended by others who have differing opinions. Especially moms who have experienced childbirth already speaking to those who have not yet.
That being said, and this is strictly my OPINION, I don't think you can say one way or the other just how you are going to feel at the time you will be birthing your child. especially if its your first! To say "oh he WILL NOT be able to go down there" is a bit closed minded and , lets face it, not realistic. There is a distinct difference in the birth of a cat and the birth of your child. I, too would probably be a bit grossed out watching a cat give birth and lick all of the blood and yuck off. no where near the birth of your child. I dont know many (if any) men that can stay at the head of the bed when their wife is giving birth, squeamish or not.. and to deny him that right if he wants to see....is that even fair? how often does a father get to experience the birth of his CHILD?
My husband swore he was going to stay by my head, and that made me a bit sad TBH, but when the time came, he was right down there in the thick of it and it didnt gross him out a bit. I was very proud of him. I WANTED him to watch our son being born.
This time I am sure it will be the same, and while I love him holding my hand and coaching me through contractions, I want him to watch our baby come out again. it truly is such a miracle and an unbelievable, unforgettable experience!

If you are willing, try to be open minded and don't ban your husband from enjoying the birth of his child in fear that he may not find you attractive afterwards. That is impossible. trust me.

 

[TrixieLox]

From what I've heard (and from what others have said here), him seeing your baby popping out of your va-jay-jay is the least of your worries. There's the poo, the wee, the groans, the popping veins, the 'labour face', the sweaty hair... list goes on. My OH is squeamish so will be freaking out at every little thing and ha, it'll be hilarious watching him freak out cos god knows we need some light relief during the whole thing ;-)

And as special_kala says, 'Im dual purpose, I can give birth to amazing babies and be as hot as hell'. Despite the fact I'm currently growing a moustache due to hormones, my bbs are veiny as hell, I'm farting in my sleep when honestly, I never farted in my life before (ha ha!), my OH seems to find me hotter than ever! So a bit of poo and stretchy va-jay-jay is surely gonna make him want to snog me even more... right?!

 

[runnergrl]

From what I've heard (and from what others have said here), him seeing your baby popping out of your va-jay-jay is the least of your worries. There's the poo, the wee, the groans, the popping veins, the 'labour face', the sweaty hair... list goes on. My OH is squeamish so will be freaking out at every little thing and ha, it'll be hilarious watching him freak out cos god knows we need some light relief during the whole thing ;-)

And as special_kala says, 'Im dual purpose, I can give birth to amazing babies and be as hot as hell'. Despite the fact I'm currently growing a moustache due to hormones, my bbs are veiny as hell, I'm farting in my sleep when honestly, I never farted in my life before (ha ha!), my OH seems to find me hotter than ever! So a bit of poo and stretchy va-jay-jay is surely gonna make him want to snog me even more... right?!

I love it. thank you

 

[qpaulina42]

I'm in the "let him watch" camp. It's hard to know first time around how you are going to feel about things. I wanted OH to be there, he didn't really at first, but was pretty involved once the labor actually happened.

 

[CordeliaJ]

Wow it's a shame there are so many negative narrow-minded responses. Did you ever consider that your way is not necessarily the only way? My husband certainly doesn't want to look, so why would I make him? You cannot tell me (and others on here) how we will feel during the labour, because everyone is different. I know myself, and even if this is my first child, you have no idea what sort of medical situations I have been in that might be similar, so don't assume I have no clue.
(And my mention of the cat birth was more to do with how my DH feels about those sorts of things, I saw my cat give birth too and didn't find it gross at all, it depends on the person).
Personally I wouldn't have any of my or my husband's family within an inch of my hospital room beforehand, let alone there during delivery, but if others want that, then why not? I'm not in a position to tell anyone how their delivery should play out, and neither are the rest of you (I'm speaking to those why have been stating facts rather than giving advice). My original response was to the poster, who was talking mainly about her concerns that if her OH is there, he will look, and she's not comfortable with that. She doesn't have to be, that's fine! I think you can trust him if he has said he won't look, and if you want him there with you, I'm sure he won't break his promise not to look.

 

[TrixieLox]

CordeliaJ, I feel like we're reading a different thread? It feels quite light-hearted with people simply sharing their insights, mainly in a jovial way. Don't worry too much about it, I'm sure you'll find we all agree it's completely up to the individual what they want to do and yes, of course you're right, no one way is the right way. Everyone's different and thank god too. It'd be pretty boring if we were all the same, right?

 

[qpaulina42]

Wow it's a shame there are so many negative narrow-minded responses. Did you ever consider that your way is not necessarily the only way? My husband certainly doesn't want to look, so why would I make him? You cannot tell me (and others on here) how we will feel during the labour, because everyone is different. I know myself, and even if this is my first child, you have no idea what sort of medical situations I have been in that might be similar, so don't assume I have no clue.
(And my mention of the cat birth was more to do with how my DH feels about those sorts of things, I saw my cat give birth too and didn't find it gross at all, it depends on the person).
Personally I wouldn't have any of my or my husband's family within an inch of my hospital room beforehand, let alone there during delivery, but if others want that, then why not? I'm not in a position to tell anyone how their delivery should play out, and neither are the rest of you (I'm speaking to those why have been stating facts rather than giving advice). My original response was to the poster, who was talking mainly about her concerns that if her OH is there, he will look, and she's not comfortable with that. She doesn't have to be, that's fine! I think you can trust him if he has said he won't look, and if you want him there with you, I'm sure he won't break his promise not to look.

I think the difference is that your husband doesn't think he will want to look, and no one is suggesting forcing him. But OP's husband wants to be there, and might want to look but she doesn't want him to, and I do see people's point when they say that she might be denying him a really great experience.

 

[CordeliaJ]

Then you didn't read the specific post that was clearly directed at me. I'm not angry or anything, I just really dislike people being so forceful with their opinions. It was light-hearted at first, but then became a little attacking. That shouldn't happen, everyone deserves their right to do their pregnancy/labour their way.

Also, zfbaby, who I responded to in my original post a while back, didn't mention that her OH wanted to look, she just said she thought he might anyway, no? Like any medical situation, the person going through it is the one that gets to say if they are comfortable/uncomfortable - making the person uncomfortable can cause more distress and complications. You have to do what feels right, not because you feel obliged to let him look.

 

[jenniferttc1]

I was a bit nervous about DH seeing how "big" things got down there as baby came out, but he wasn't bothered by it in the slightest. He thought it was the neatest thing ever! He was able to deliver DS2, which is said was the most amazing experience of his life and still talks about it to this day. I've had a different OB with each baby, but my current one has no problem with DH catching this one. I'm really excited about it and so is he. I do understand how you feel though. It's not something you'd want him to miss though. It really is a once in a lifetime thing.

I was honestly surprised how big it got, I NEVER heard or knew a humans vagina would swell like that! But my husband is SO weird, he liked it. He's to this day trying to figure out of to make it go like that without having to push a baby out (I'm ashamed to admit this for him)

 

[runnergrl]

all I was saying was keep an open mind during delivery. thats all. wasnt a shot at you

Never told you how you would feel. what i said was it is impossible to know how you will feel until you are in that moment. possibly re-read my post before you get so offended

 

[runnergrl]

CordeliaJ, I feel like we're reading a different thread? It feels quite light-hearted with people simply sharing their insights, mainly in a jovial way. Don't worry too much about it, I'm sure you'll find we all agree it's completely up to the individual what they want to do and yes, of course you're right, no one way is the right way. Everyone's different and thank god too. It'd be pretty boring if we were all the same, right?

I agree with you 150%

 

[mamaxo]

I personally would feel crappy to tell OH not to be there. I could imagine how some would feel uncomfortable. It isn't our best position or view lol. But he is so excited and has been to every single appointment with me. He was in tears when we found out we were having a baby girl. I couldn't imagine taking anything away from him. He said he doesn't want to see the business going on but to make sure I am ok because I have such anxiety. I am sure the curious mind will peek lol I would!

I would go with how you feel the day of. I may tell him to get the hell out for all I know. We are in such a different mind set when our body is going through labor.

 

[MamaFlick]

mamaxo - my hubby got teary when he found out we were having a baby girl too.

Because of this post, I asked my hubby last night if he wanted to look. He said that he didn't know. So I told him that I didn't care either way, and he could choose whatever he wanted. I guess I'm lucky that I don't mind!

 

[mamaxo]

I say if my OH looks, and he becomes traumaized, that is his fault lol. But he is very open minded. This is our first so I could imagine the thought of my rump looking like it is going to explode before his eyes bugs him out lol. He can't wait for the day to arrive!