Anyone else not sure they want oh at delivery?

[CordeliaJ]

Please don't be rude runnergirl because you most certainly were telling me how I would feel in your post. It's also quite unkind to reply to that post saying you agree 150%, ganging up on others is immature. It's not necessary to behave like that.

 

[runnergrl]

wow. Not ganging up on you at all. I felt like what she said was right on.

let me go back and quote my post...

 

[runnergrl]

wow. I am really surprised at some of the responses in here. I'd even go so far as to say that we need to be supportive of each other, not get offended by others who have differing opinions. Especially moms who have experienced childbirth already speaking to those who have not yet.
That being said, and this is strictly my OPINION, I don't think you can say one way or the other just how you are going to feel at the time you will be birthing your child. especially if its your first! To say "oh he WILL NOT be able to go down there" is a bit closed minded and , lets face it, not realistic. There is a distinct difference in the birth of a cat and the birth of your child. I, too would probably be a bit grossed out watching a cat give birth and lick all of the blood and yuck off. no where near the birth of your child. I dont know many (if any) men that can stay at the head of the bed when their wife is giving birth, squeamish or not.. and to deny him that right if he wants to see....is that even fair? how often does a father get to experience the birth of his CHILD?
My husband swore he was going to stay by my head, and that made me a bit sad TBH, but when the time came, he was right down there in the thick of it and it didnt gross him out a bit. I was very proud of him. I WANTED him to watch our son being born.
This time I am sure it will be the same, and while I love him holding my hand and coaching me through contractions, I want him to watch our baby come out again. it truly is such a miracle and an unbelievable, unforgettable experience!

If you are willing, try to be open minded and don't ban your husband from enjoying the birth of his child in fear that he may not find you attractive afterwards. That is impossible. trust me.

all of those things are positive, not aimed at you at all.

the only reason I mentioned the cat is because i was saying how different it was from the birth of your child. if that was offensive, I'm sorry

 

[USAF_WIFE]

Please don't be rude runnergirl because you most certainly were telling me how I would feel in your post. It's also quite unkind to reply to that post saying you agree 150%, ganging up on others is immature. It's not necessary to behave like that.

Uh... Really? I don't think she was attacking you at all... She never said YOU WILL FEEL THIS... She said she does not think you can know FOR SURE till you are in the moment. Holy hell... lol Also stated it was strictly her opinion not fact.

 

[USAF_WIFE]

wow. I am really surprised at some of the responses in here. I'd even go so far as to say that we need to be supportive of each other, not get offended by others who have differing opinions. Especially moms who have experienced childbirth already speaking to those who have not yet.
That being said, and this is strictly my OPINION, I don't think you can say one way or the other just how you are going to feel at the time you will be birthing your child. especially if its your first! To say "oh he WILL NOT be able to go down there" is a bit closed minded and , lets face it, not realistic. There is a distinct difference in the birth of a cat and the birth of your child. I, too would probably be a bit grossed out watching a cat give birth and lick all of the blood and yuck off. no where near the birth of your child. I dont know many (if any) men that can stay at the head of the bed when their wife is giving birth, squeamish or not.. and to deny him that right if he wants to see....is that even fair? how often does a father get to experience the birth of his CHILD?
My husband swore he was going to stay by my head, and that made me a bit sad TBH, but when the time came, he was right down there in the thick of it and it didnt gross him out a bit. I was very proud of him. I WANTED him to watch our son being born.
This time I am sure it will be the same, and while I love him holding my hand and coaching me through contractions, I want him to watch our baby come out again. it truly is such a miracle and an unbelievable, unforgettable experience!

If you are willing, try to be open minded and don't ban your husband from enjoying the birth of his child in fear that he may not find you attractive afterwards. That is impossible. trust me.

all of those things are positive, not aimed at you at all.

the only reason I mentioned the cat is because i was saying how different it was from the birth of your child. if that was offensive, I'm sorry

 

[CordeliaJ]

I don't want this post to turn into an argument - I now appreciate that you didn't mean any harm, but if I may, I would just like to explain why I felt attacked by it.

In your post, you said we should be supportive of one another (which I would agree with), but then practically in the same breath did the opposite. Starting a sentence by saying "this is just my opinion" doesn't make the next sentence in which you called me (or those of the same opinion as me) 'closed-minded' and unrealistic, just because we have a different preference.

I would also like to point out that neither I, nor anyone else in this thread so far as I can see, actually said anyone's other half would not find them attractive after watching birth (which is another thing you mentioned).

In any case, it no longer matters, no one has really done any harm here, so it's fine.

 

[Super sun]

I think we as women need to embrace the miracle of birth and get over our insecurities.... This is what nature has intended for us and all the gross thing are completely natural. Your husband should be mature enough to get past that as we surely have the worst of it. If he chooses to not look he is missing out IMO. Not trying to offend anyone

 

[Tasha]

I hope the OP is okay. I would have a long chat with your OH about how you are so concerned about him looking down there, that it is making you anxious and not want him to be there. I am sure if you explained it, then he would see just what a massive deal this is to you and not disrespect your wishes.

My husband is not good with blood and stuff, so we thought there was no way he would look. But he did and I was watching him as I birthed our baby, all tearful with a lump in his throat, that moment felt like it was just us three of us in the entire world He was even a bit disappointed that he couldnt watch number four come out of the section cut

We kept the magic, he doesnt relate what he saw those times with sex or anything. They are just special memories.

 

[USAF_WIFE]

I hope the OP is okay. I would have a long chat with your OH about how you are so concerned about him looking down there, that it is making you anxious and not want him to be there. I am sure if you explained it, then he would see just what a massive deal this is to you and not disrespect your wishes.

My husband is not good with blood and stuff, so we thought there was no way he would look. But he did and I was watching him as I birthed our baby, all tearful with a lump in his throat, that moment felt like it was just us three of us in the entire world He was even a bit disappointed that he couldnt watch number four come out of the section cut

We kept the magic, he doesnt relate what he saw those times with sex or anything. They are just special memories.

This is how it went with my hubs he was nervous he would faint or something but turned into a big mush I am so looking forward to it again!

 

[MumToEva]

For me personally, my hubby was the only person I wanted with me during labour. When I was having Eva we were told it would be hours before anything happened, and he should go home and get some sleep in the meantime. Well within an hour things had really escalated, and I found I felt overwhelmed and scared without him there, whereas when he arrived back I felt like I could control my breathing so much more because I wasn't scared the same. I'm not someone who likes to be patted and rubbed - it was just the emotional support I needed from him.

I think everyone's different though - you just have to do what you feel works for you.

 

[SMGP]

I have seen my best friends baby born and my nephew being born and it is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen! You are not looking at it like a gross thing, it is a miracle. I do not think I could tell my hubby to not look at his child being born into the world. If he does not want to, that is his thing, but I am so happy I got to see two babies being born. It is amazing.

 

[Jess137]

My DH, if he had a choice, wouldn't even be in the room. He has major issues with bodily functions and I don't think he'll look, even though there's no way I'm letting him leave the room. I'm having my mom as my support person (more than likely) as my support person. I'm doing Natal hypnotherapy...my aunt may also be there for support and my dad may be too. DH does NOT want to be the only person with me! So I guess it'll be a family event lol!

 

[alaskagrown]

He'll appreciate you more if he's there to witness it all happen!

 

[staralfur]

He'll appreciate you more if he's there to witness it all happen!

This is a good point! My OH went on and on about how amazed he was with me, how strong I was, etc. I do think it made us closer!

I think it's easy to overestimate how much you're going to care about things like these when you're in labour. I'm a pretty modest person and told my mom (who was there as well as my OH) that she was to go nowhere near my vagina. When the time came, she was so amazed that she had wandered down to my feet and watched my LO come out. And I did NOT care one bit. I still don't, because she's told me a few times how special it was to see her grandchild be born.

I know that ultimately it's about what YOU are comfortable with, but the birth of your child is truly one of the most incredible experiences and I think it's a shame that a father might miss it due to insecurities that you, in all likelihood, won't even have while it's actually happening.