I felt the exact same way before I was pregnant and even now, I'm jealous of people who haven't had a miscarriage AND who are further along than me - Odd, I know. My boss is 13 weeks and I wish that I was that far along. I think I'll be able to relax more once I get into the double digits. I have my first prenatal appointment tomorrow and I'm NERVOUS!



I hope things go amazing for you today at that appointment! (At least I think it's today....)
Morning ladies.
Got a low today on my final day of testing so I'm putting this cycle down as anovulatory. I'm pretty gutted about it. I'm still not feeling great - nauseous and keep overheating. I wish it was morning sickness etc. Think I'll have to go back to work today even though it's the last thing I feel like. No idea when I should expect AF and can get this cycle over and done with
I wonder though. I mean you've been using it for much longer then I had on my cycle, but I'm not sure that I trust it to always get it right. *hugs*
Ah sorry Ickle.... Still it's hard to be sure it's anovulatory without cross checking the CBFM results with other signs, like temps etc... Last month would have looked the same for me had I not temped and opk'ed. Though I can understand if you know it has happened before.

nonetheless!
Same with me!
And Dodger, I'm really sorry you feel like you are crumbling. Who could blame you? We are all here for you.
Hi Chelle!
*hugs* Thank you! I feel a bit better today... And I'm feeling better that my hpt's - while still positive - are definitely getting lighter and lighter each time. Today's is barely there, one of those ones that you would be nudging someone else and wondering if they see the line too, and it took a while to even appear. So I'd say that things are definitely heading the right direction. Oh yeah and my spotting is irregular so that indicates to me that the bleeding is nearly done as well.
I couldn't say for sure Chelle as I haven't got up yet but I have woken up feeling dreadful, like I'm in a fog, struggling to wake up, hot, sweaty and that crampy feeling so I think she's on her way.
I am so gutted this month. I was absolutely certain I was pregnant, the symptoms were so strong, and as I was expecting AF on around cd 25 and for it to be day 30, I don't think
I have had a 30 day cycle ever! And then teasing me yesterday with a bit of spotting which also never happens, I feel really cheated and let down by my body.
A couple of my friends have told me to have a month off temping etc as I am getting too obsessed but I'm not sure if that wouldn't make me feel worse! I was thinking about what Ickle said and how she wishes she had temped this month now.
I just actually wish I could escape from my own head for a few days. Still at least the sodding 2ww is over.
Sorry to moan like this especially when Fili has had such an awful time. I can't really talk to Mark about it because he will just tell me to relax and chill out about everything and that doesn't help.




You are totally allowed to be frustrated and angry! As for not obsessing, I haven't figured out how to do that. I mean my temping is pretty unobtrusive, my hubby typically doesn't even see that I'm doing it, but he sees me on these forums all the time. Being on the forums is how I obsess, but it's also how I calm myself and find reassurance etc.
I spent 16 months fighting against temping because I thought it would make it too job-like and that I would be too obsessive about it. When I finally caved and did start temping, I found that it made me feel so much better about things - more in control I guess. I do think it's a personal thing, so like emum enjoyed taking a month off and ickle regrets it, you have to decide what you think would be best for you!
AFM, Well I went to the GP yesterday who proceeded to tell me that I have a 1 in 4 chance of mc again but a 3 in 4 chance of not and how I should not let my previous experience worry me! I thought HELLO of course its going to worry me! Anyway, I asked if he would be able to refer me to the epau and he said that is something I should discuss with my midwife. So off I went non the wiser really and called my midwife - who I have to say is absolutely lovely!! I had her for my first pregnancy with DS and last time and she is just amazing. So once I'd told her the news of our new pregnancy and before I could even ask she said she will call me to arrange my booking in appointment (as she was out walking the dog at the time and didn't have her diary) and that she would make arrangements for me to have an early scan at the epau.....cue tears I cried. So just waiting to here from her now
Awww! I'm so glad you have a fantastic mw like that!! Keep us updated as to when your first scan is!
They are right and I totally agree that chilling out about everything is the best way to go, but I just don't think my mind will let me do that. I mean how can I escape from it? Every month that passes takes me closer to another year older, a bigger gap between my children, a trivial thing but I wanted to have a baby nearer the summer time, and longer to wait for tests and to try again if I lose the next one too. It's too bloody much.
*hugs* I know how you feel about the older thing... I'm going to be 37 this year and my bio clock is definitely getting louder in my ears with each passing month. I remember dreaming when I was just a kid that I would be married with kids by 25.... Oh well.. it too me 33 years just to find Mr Right.

I don't regret that part at all since he definitely is Mr Right!!
I know it's tough right now because you are disappointed with your cycle, but just think positively. I think good things are just around the corner for you!
AFM, I put most of my info into my replies above, but it does seem like the bleeding is pretty much coming to an end. The spotting was light enough to go without a pad last night and this morning as well. It's mostly just showing up on wipes now. Did I mention the weirdness I had yesterday? I think I might have been too mopey to, but if I did, sorry for the repeat. Yesterday on several of my wipes, it totally threw me off to notice that I had EWCM! I haven't had any that I can remember since ovulation during my BFP cycle, so I'm wondering if that means I'm about to ovulate already, or if it's a sign that the mc is really nearly done, or if my body is being an absolute witch and teasing me again. Anyone else had this experience?