Anyone LTTTC Number One?

[wannabeprego]

Hi girls. Just wanted to pop in and see how everyone is doing and give some massive Beotch got me this past weekend and since it was my last clomid cycle, I am au-natural from here on out until I get some money.

I am so sorry that the evil bitch got you.....

https://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh126/izzybee22/hug-34.gif

 

[wannabeprego]

AFM, I made it safely to my mom's house up north, 5.5 hour drive, which took more like 6 hours and I had my HCG bloods done before I left for the trip to come up here. I am going to call the DR's office sometime tomorrow afternoon and see if they have got the results back yet... I will be sure to update you girls when I find out the results....

Tomorrow I am going with my mom and sister out to lunch so I think that will be fun. Than later I am going to hang out at my sisters so i can visit with my niece and nephew for a little while, and later on my mom and me are going to go out to get some of my favorite pizza, where I grew up has alot of Italians and has the best pizza that I have ever eaten anywheres so I am always sure to eat some well I am home...

Thursday I am going to be driving back home and bringing my mom with me for a visit. She will be staying until Halloween day. We are going to go to the casino since my mom loves that kind of stuff and I want to take her to these really pretty gardens as well.

 

[fisher640]

Wannabe! I can't stand the suspense! You better call and let us know ASAP!

 

[urchin]

Mornink! A night of very strange dreams which involved:
a bfp which was about 15 pink lines on a strip so faint that a CSI type scientist had to photograph the strip under special light
having given my dog away - but not knowing why
being in Africa to raft down the Zambizi in a little rubber dingy, which had waves on it the size of houses (the river, not the dingy!)

wonder what all of that was about?

And very glad I've not given my dog away

 

[Feisty Fidget]

Oh Urch thanks for my morning smile hun
That is a representation of your hopes and dreams, the amount of lines signifies the amount of time you have been trying. You have reached a point where you don't think it will happen for you without some serious technical intervention, hence the CSI guy.

I am sure the dog represents comfort and familiarity, you may feel your life is not ticking along it's usual path at the moment and you are stressed/worried about all of this and just need a bit of extra reassurance to put your mind at ease.

The rafting is possibly a continuation of above, you don't feel in control and your tiny raft represents you whilst the humongous waves represent everything that is happening to you at the moment, LTTTC, the house move, decorating, being forced to give up the allotment etc. You feel you are on a journey where you don't know the destination but it is a bloody struggle just to stay afloat!

Gotta love a bit of pop psychology this early in the morning

Well after watching my much loved Mr Fry on QI last night, he mentioned something called the nocebo effect (yep you guessed it the opposite of the placebo effect). This got me thinking and after waking up at the ungodly time of 7am (ungodly for me, especially on the hols) I decided to jump on the laptop to do some research.

https://haveababy.blogspot.com/2011/04/placebo-effect-and-nocebo-effect-how.html

Now firstly please no body hit me or throw sharp objects *ducks behind the pillow* I am not telling you all to think positive and it will happen......okay well maybe to a certain extent I am but NOT in a horrid patronising way that those not of the LTTTC crew have a way of telling us.

I personally found the information quite intriguing. When I think back on our ttc journey, the bits that have been the most stress free and laid back are when I believe it will truly happen eventually (not that it will happen THIS cycle, far too stressful and disappointing). I used to think that when I was reguarly exercising I was happier and more content because of the endorphins now I am wondering if it was because I felt I was doing something very positive that would help me achieve that

As I am sure some of you can relate I seem to have developed a very thick skin with each passing month and I have now reached the stage where I am negative about everything ttc related, maybe I will have a bash at trying to be positive?

So for all of us feeling very crappy right now I am sending you as many PMA vibes that I can! Each of us may have a different journey full of tears, pain and anguish but the end result will be the same for all of us, a beautiful baby!

Wannabe it sounds like you have some lovely days ahead of you I can't wait for an update

 

[OiskyPoisky]

Urchin - Thanks, glad I can put a smile on someone's face

Rin731 - cant imagine what you go through with irregular cycles! One thing Im kinda glad of through this is a regular 24-25 day cycle, although in Sept I had my first 28 dayer those few days I was late were terrible particularly as I was getting very faint positives (had to do some CSI lightwork of my own ) Closest Ive come in 18 months

Djibou - I think your right about acidic CM, after 2 HVS the doctors found an infection and thrush (in my cervix), I didn't even have any symptoms! Any way they said that it could have caused an in-balance in the 'natural flora' (or fauna cant remember) which can make it difficult for the to get through. Not sure how long I had it for though...

Wannabe - I have been stalking your threads recently good luck with your results, I hope its good news

 

[pinkfee]

Feisty - I think there is a lot to be said for positive thinking! and what i've just read on your link is basically what genevieve morton was on about in her book bump and grind. Its a very interesting theory.

Sadly they don't give you any tips on how to get yourselves into thinking positively when your feeling poo.... but its definitely food for thought. One of the bits from bump and grind that i liked was that she went off to see these 'fertility sisters' who basically told her that she was so stressed about not conceiving that if she was a bunny rabbit she was sending signals to her body that there wasn't enough green grass to feed baby bunnies, so she was effectively stopping herself getting pregnant.

i've often thought if maybe my body is self sabotaging... as i'm still pretty scared about the whole giving birth thing so i'm wondering if i'm actually stopping myself from getting pregnant so i don't have to go through it!?!

Anyhoo I've been trying to sort of meditate this month and try to reaffirm to my body that there is plenty of green grass for baby bunnies!

x

 

[wannabeprego]

Mornink! A night of very strange dreams which involved:
a bfp which was about 15 pink lines on a strip so faint that a CSI type scientist had to photograph the strip under special light
having given my dog away - but not knowing why
being in Africa to raft down the Zambizi in a little rubber dingy, which had waves on it the size of houses (the river, not the dingy!)

wonder what all of that was about?

And very glad I've not given my dog away

LOL....Urchin, you got me cracking up laughing first thing this morning.... Thank you for the good laugh hun... The microscope thing is to funny, since all of us ladies have squinted looking at an HPT one time or another......

https://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh126/izzybee22/lol-6.gif

https://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh126/izzybee22/lol-7.gif


LOL, I dont even know what this picture below means but I thought it was funny so I wanted to add it....
https://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh126/izzybee22/tumblr_lss3wuKMI51qf5uaj.gif

https://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh126/izzybee22/LOL-5.gif

 

[wannabeprego]

@Fiesty, Great psycho analysis of Urchin's dream.... It sounds correct most likely...

Thank you for the link.... I also do think that having a positive relaxed outlook during TTC will help the process along, although we all know it is often easier said than done...

Ugghhh, I slept like crud lastnight, I always have a hard time sleeping when I am in a new place for the first night... Than my Mom had this loud ticking clock, so loud "Tick, Tick, Tick..." So I moved it into her bathroom and closed the door.... than my laptop had this bright light on the side erking me..... and my mom's pull out sofa matress is soo springy and uncomfortable, than my mind was going bananas thinking about the dam Blood test results, I am about to call and they make you leave a VM and call you back with the lab results, so I will have to wait most likely.....

I have been having some slight naseau, which at first i assumed was from my antibiotics that I had to take with my HSG, but I finished those out on Monday, so I wouldnt think they could be casusing my naseau anymore.....ugghhh.........the susepne is killing me....

 

[Feisty Fidget]

Sorry you had a poo nights sleep wannabe I can't even imagine what you are going through hun it must be so stressful

Pink I completely agree with the self sabotage thing, over the last few months I have caught myself a few times thinking that our family unit of just 3 (DH, me and the dog) isn't so bad - Then I get angry at myself for thinking it but perhaps my body is sabotaging our efforts trying as it wants to enjoy being a single unit for a bit longer

Well just over 24 hours until the ultrasound, I am trying (very badly) to think positive but I still can't help but feel it is a complete waste of time. As long as I don't have to go near the EPU I should be fine, but I have a horrid feeling most of the equipment is there for obvious reasons and the fact that my last horrific visit to the EPU using the same equipment was a year ago is going to possibly make me go to pieces.

 

[wannabeprego]

...duplicate post....deleted...

 

[wannabeprego]

@Fiesty, good luck with your ultrasound, I hope that you will be alright hun, and I am so sorry that it brings back bad memories hun...

 

[wannabeprego]

....deleted..error post... Sorry girls...

 

[Rin731]

Urchin - Thanks, glad I can put a smile on someone's face

Rin731 - cant imagine what you go through with irregular cycles! One thing Im kinda glad of through this is a regular 24-25 day cycle, although in Sept I had my first 28 dayer those few days I was late were terrible particularly as I was getting very faint positives (had to do some CSI lightwork of my own ) Closest Ive come in 18 months

Djibou - I think your right about acidic CM, after 2 HVS the doctors found an infection and thrush (in my cervix), I didn't even have any symptoms! Any way they said that it could have caused an in-balance in the 'natural flora' (or fauna cant remember) which can make it difficult for the to get through. Not sure how long I had it for though...

Wannabe - I have been stalking your threads recently good luck with your results, I hope its good news

Thanks.

It's driving me mental.

 

[urchin]

fantastic cod psychology FF - i love it! (and you're probably not far off the truth either) but Mr Fry is MINE I tell you - all mine!

I agree with Pinkfee - I'm not sure how you make yourself feel positive, when you are feeling anything but! It's not like you can pretend to yourself is it?
That said, I think it's probably better for your health to allow yourself to feel how you're feeling - putting a brittle cheery face on it, beating yourself up for not feeling the positiveness that you think you 'ought' to feel, is a good way to eventually crack.

I see allowing myself to feel down from time to time as a good pressure release valve - and as long as you don't slip into a depressed spiral I think it's much healthier (and kinder) to just allow yourself your true feelings

wannabe - you must be going nute flower - I hope you get your results soon. Else you're going to go pop!

 

[BH2010]

Hello ladies I decided to take a month off from all things TTC just to relax and feel normal again. There's so much to catch up on now! I'm so sorry that so many are feeling down this month. Sending many many out to everyone. Everyone here so deserves to get their and it just seems totally unfair that we have to fight so hard to get what others get so easily.

AFM, I'm CD11 right now. I had been taking Vitex for the past 6 months as I have PCOS and need something to force O. This month I tried Soy so we'll see how that works out. My DH has to go for another SA in November and December to check if his low count and morphology was a result of all his hot tub-ing or if he'll need that varicose vein surgery. I'm really hoping it was just the hot tub. Better yet, I'm hoping we get a before he even needs to go for another test. Our 1 year wedding anniversary is on Sunday and that should be right around the time I should O. That would be so freaking awesome! Still trying to keep my hopes up that this will happen for us.

Fiesty, hoping all goes well with your ultrasound!

 

[urchin]

ooo did I forget to say welcome to Sam? sorry Sam if I did ...

and hi to fisher and anyone else I've missed off

 

[fisher640]

Wannabe- You have GOT to be joking. You still haven't heard back from them? This is out of control. I work in a hospital where we run HCGs ALL THE TIME. It takes less than an hour, tell them to get their butts in gear. Immediately. As your friends can't stand the suspense.


AFM, I am 7dpo today, and had my progesterone checked this morning. My coordinator called me back this afternoon (5 hours after the blood draw FYI Wannabe!) and said my progesterone was "grrrrrreat" (That's a quote) She said it was 62 and they want it to be anything over 5 to indicate ovulation 1 week ago. So apparently my OPK sticks DO work better than their blood LH levels

I just wish it was an indication of pregnancy

DH & I are to Florida for a wedding this weekend and will be gone from 10dpo-12dpo and I'm debating as to whether to pack some ICs for the trip or if I should trying and forget about the fact that I'm a POAS addict for the weekend and just wait and see if AF shows up by the time we get back or not Most of my LPs are <14days so.... I don't know.

 

[Feisty Fidget]

Due to a few false negatives (or chemicals) in the past I always refrain from testing early Fisher. Perhaps the wedding and Florida sunshine could take your mind off of POAS?

Wannabe I am with Fisher on this one, it is taking far too long! xxx

 

[fisher640]

Due to a few false negatives (or chemicals) in the past I always refrain from testing early Fisher. Perhaps the wedding and Florida sunshine could take your mind off of POAS?

Wannabe I am with Fisher on this one, it is taking far too long! xxx

Oh man. I rarely make it past 9dpo -- but again, probably because I've never had a false negative and never had a sniff of a second line despite attempting fancy CSI type lighting. Sometimes seeing doesn't bother me, sometimes it sets me in to a foul foul mood... so you could be right -- I'm torn.