Anyone ltttc with a large family or wanting a large family?

[readyformore]

I stopped temping too MOB.
It was just a PITA and didn't tell me anything that I didn't really already know anyway.

 

[motherofboys]

So had my book club/coffee morning this morning. Couple of little babies there. Little girl, only just 4 months thrust upon me. My youngest was with me and loving the baby "his got tiny hands, and a tiny face. His smiling at me! he wants this dinosaur" (everybody is a he, so even though the baby was a girl, she still got called he LOL) Yeah, it didnt help. But you can't say no can you. The friend who's house it was, was holding the baby and said to me "feel how light she is" and just held her out. Can't say "actually I'd rather not incase she sends me in to baby obsessive over drive" can you LOL
Anyway they were all arranging for Thursday. She has a psychic coming round. I figured why not, so I'm going along too. I do believe in that sort of stuff. My mums had some pretty spot on readings, not even stuff that people can guess. And the friend who is arranging it all has had a reading with this woman before and she is meant to be pretty good.
I'm always wary with this sort of thing and everything I hear I take with a pinch of salt, even as a believer I know some people are just con artists. But I'm kind of hoping she is genuine and that she has good news for me. I wont pin all my hopes on it, but may as well go along for the ride.

 

[motherofboys]

So I had my reading, it was really good and she said lots of things. Some which were impossible for anyone to know, like how I have been planning to have my hair done, I hadn't told anyone else and it wasn't easy to guess (I want to dye it brown and add red streaks) apparently my Nan said I should have it done LOL
But there was not one word regarding another baby! I know I shouldn't take it too much to heart, things change and obviously she might just have made it all up and got lucky with the things she guessed right. But I can't help feeling all deflated, I shouldn't have got my hopes up I guess.

 

[Phillippa]

So I had my reading, it was really good and she said lots of things. Some which were impossible for anyone to know, like how I have been planning to have my hair done, I hadn't told anyone else and it wasn't easy to guess (I want to dye it brown and add red streaks) apparently my Nan said I should have it done LOL
But there was not one word regarding another baby! I know I shouldn't take it too much to heart, things change and obviously she might just have made it all up and got lucky with the things she guessed right. But I can't help feeling all deflated, I shouldn't have got my hopes up I guess.

Oh mob, I really understand your feelings! I sometimes read my horoscope with the hope that it says, another baby is due soon. People like us wants to see a sign that it will happen in the end. Unfortunately, no one can tell you that, we just have to wait and see.

rfm, how are you?

 

[motherofboys]

Well I only took the B6 about 3 times this month as I kept forgetting and ended up with a 9/10 day LP! So having barely taken it I think its naturally lengthening still. I am going to take it every day this month because if it works like it did last time I'll have a 14/15 day LP and a chance of pregnancy. I've decided to wipe the slate clean as it was not even possible to conceive during the last 2 years and count this month as month one.

 

[readyformore]

Well I'm now on to cycle #30.

Not feeling devastated by it, but reality is smacking me in the face. There's nothing wrong with me to fix, so maybe I should just resign myself to no more babies and move on.

I've been trying to change how I think and I really do think it's helping. Honestly, I could do without being pregnant again. Being around my friend's perpetually fussy baby also helps. He's six months old and she's not getting any sleep at all. My baby can go outside to play by herself while I prepare dinner.

I'm sure some of it is overcompensation, but it's working for now so I'm going with it.

MOB-you're quite a bit younger and I'm sure that once your baby weans completely, your cycles will regulate in time. I'm hopeful for you.
But, Phillippa, we are in similar boats. What are you doing to get through? Are you considering stopping or are you going to keep ttc?

 

[motherofboys]

You're right I do have time on my side, and I do know why it hasn't happened for me yet. I'm sure it wont be long before I'm at normal fertility again. I was very excited when I realised my LP had extended and I wanted to post, but didn't know where. I kind of feel I don't fit anywhere. TTC I feel bad because I already have 3 babies, its the same old story from when you started this post about feeling guilty and greedy for wanting more babies when some people are struggling to have their 1st. LTTTC and Secondary Infertility, I still feel a cheat because I know whats happening and that eventually I will get another baby while some (like yourself) may have to face the prospect of there never being another. But then I have still had the experience of the last 2 years, before I knew why it wasn't working and waiting every month only to get excited then have my hopes dashed.
Sometimes I think about how the people in the Breastfeeding and TTC/Tandem feeding thread have managed to do it, and wonder why not me and if it is natures way of saying enough is enough, but I could go on for another 10 years yet and still have a little bit of time to spare, so there has to be another one eventually right LOL
It makes me feel bad (I know thats not your intention) to come here moaning when you are trying to deal with the fact that another baby is unlikely, I imagine it feels that same as I was feeling a couple of months ago in the TTC section with the women moaning how awful it was that after 3 months they still hadn't had a BFP, or the ones who are pregnant but insist on still posting on the treads with up dates about their pregnancy and scans and then even their labour story.

 

[Phillippa]

Well I'm now on to cycle #30.

Not feeling devastated by it, but reality is smacking me in the face. There's nothing wrong with me to fix, so maybe I should just resign myself to no more babies and move on.

I've been trying to change how I think and I really do think it's helping. Honestly, I could do without being pregnant again. Being around my friend's perpetually fussy baby also helps. He's six months old and she's not getting any sleep at all. My baby can go outside to play by herself while I prepare dinner.

I'm sure some of it is overcompensation, but it's working for now so I'm going with it.

MOB-you're quite a bit younger and I'm sure that once your baby weans completely, your cycles will regulate in time. I'm hopeful for you.
But, Phillippa, we are in similar boats. What are you doing to get through? Are you considering stopping or are you going to keep ttc?

I think you're doing quite well!
And overcompensation, oh my, I do that all the time! I always try to persuade myself that another baby would be so much more hard work, I have to start anew, it will be much more tougher with a 3rd child and so on. But in the end, I still have hopes every month that I fall pregnant.
But strangely, the thought of not having another one, doesn't make me winge inside any longer.
And it seems I don't have to find myself a stop-date, as I really get calmer and accepting with every months which goes by. So we will just TTC until I definitely want to stop as I am getting too old to have another baby or I simply don't want to have another (whatever will be sooner).

I always wanted to have another child when my daughter starts school as it is very difficult for me to work in her first year.
Here in Austria school for the beginners finishes at half 11 and I really would like to take care of her after school myself (at least for the 1 year). However, it seems impossible to do that with the work I am doing at the moment. So I still hope to get pregnant in the next couple of months so that I am at home when she starts school in September.
But I will not be completely devasted if it doesn't work out. I know that we will handle it somehow, even without beeing pregnant!

 

[Phillippa]

You're right I do have time on my side, and I do know why it hasn't happened for me yet. I'm sure it wont be long before I'm at normal fertility again. I was very excited when I realised my LP had extended and I wanted to post, but didn't know where. I kind of feel I don't fit anywhere. TTC I feel bad because I already have 3 babies, its the same old story from when you started this post about feeling guilty and greedy for wanting more babies when some people are struggling to have their 1st. LTTTC and Secondary Infertility, I still feel a cheat because I know whats happening and that eventually I will get another baby while some (like yourself) may have to face the prospect of there never being another. But then I have still had the experience of the last 2 years, before I knew why it wasn't working and waiting every month only to get excited then have my hopes dashed.
Sometimes I think about how the people in the Breastfeeding and TTC/Tandem feeding thread have managed to do it, and wonder why not me and if it is natures way of saying enough is enough, but I could go on for another 10 years yet and still have a little bit of time to spare, so there has to be another one eventually right LOL
It makes me feel bad (I know thats not your intention) to come here moaning when you are trying to deal with the fact that another baby is unlikely, I imagine it feels that same as I was feeling a couple of months ago in the TTC section with the women moaning how awful it was that after 3 months they still hadn't had a BFP, or the ones who are pregnant but insist on still posting on the treads with up dates about their pregnancy and scans and then even their labour story.

I hope so much that you will get your baby soon! I am convinced, you don't have to wait much longer and there will be another one in the near future!

 

[motherofboys]

Well I have managed to remember my b6 every day and am opk'ing and temping etc though i need to try a little harder to make sure i remember to temp and at the right time lol
thnks phillippa i hope your right, i actually feel i have a shot now, as much chance as the next woman.

 

[readyformore]

Phillippa. It seems like we are on similar pages right now. I think I will be ok with whatever happens right now. I actually told my friend that I was starting to get confused. I'm giving myself valid reasons for not wanting another baby, or at least seeing the benefits of not having anymore. So, shouldn't I then be preventing it? She said, "Well, why can't you just be ok with whatever happens? If a baby comes you'll be happy, but if it doesn't then you'll still be content." You know what......she's absolutely right. I really did have to mourn and grieve and just be sad/angry/depressed for a little bit. I hope not to go back to that place and I am happy to be moving forward with wherever life goes.........with my 3 kids. I listened to my counselors advice too which has proven to be immensely helpful. She told me that if I feel like someone is missing, then I will be sad and mourn. So, I need to focus on what I have, not what I am missing. Too true and it has helped a lot. I try not to focus on the missing fourth, but the presence of the three.

MOB- you're right, it really is hard to fit in anywhere isn't it?
I see you've given yourself a clean slate? Nice start. It doesn't mean that you weren't hopeful or disappointed each month when AF came, but now you know you really have a chance. Hopefully soon.

 

[motherofboys]

Yeah I decided it was best to take a fresh approach. I still feel like a LTTTC'er, but I also feel lighter and have a renewed hope. Next year is MY year. I know they say a normal, healthy couple can take up to a year, so trying to be realistic that by NEXT Christmas I could be pregnant. But I am quietly hopeful that it will be by my sons 3rd birthday in March.

 

[Phillippa]

Phillippa. It seems like we are on similar pages right now. I think I will be ok with whatever happens right now. I actually told my friend that I was starting to get confused. I'm giving myself valid reasons for not wanting another baby, or at least seeing the benefits of not having anymore. So, shouldn't I then be preventing it? She said, "Well, why can't you just be ok with whatever happens? If a baby comes you'll be happy, but if it doesn't then you'll still be content." You know what......she's absolutely right. I really did have to mourn and grieve and just be sad/angry/depressed for a little bit. I hope not to go back to that place and I am happy to be moving forward with wherever life goes.........with my 3 kids. I listened to my counselors advice too which has proven to be immensely helpful. She told me that if I feel like someone is missing, then I will be sad and mourn. So, I need to focus on what I have, not what I am missing. Too true and it has helped a lot. I try not to focus on the missing fourth, but the presence of the three.

MOB- you're right, it really is hard to fit in anywhere isn't it?
I see you've given yourself a clean slate? Nice start. It doesn't mean that you weren't hopeful or disappointed each month when AF came, but now you know you really have a chance. Hopefully soon.

I think it's perfectly normal to be sad/angry/depressed for a little bit when it doesn't work out how we've planned it for our family! I was at that stage too but somehow we are both trying to overcome it and I think we're doing really well! There are actually DAYS!!!! I don't think about having another baby! But it is still easier before ovulation. Anyway, I think we have to keep on walking on this path! I focus more on cooking (actually, I start to really like it!), my garden and, of course, my kids! What sort of distraction have you found?

 

[Phillippa]

Yeah I decided it was best to take a fresh approach. I still feel like a LTTTC'er, but I also feel lighter and have a renewed hope. Next year is MY year. I know they say a normal, healthy couple can take up to a year, so trying to be realistic that by NEXT Christmas I could be pregnant. But I am quietly hopeful that it will be by my sons 3rd birthday in March.

A renewed hope sounds excellent! You have to stay positive as you know why it hasn't happend yet. And there are ways to overcome this obstacle!
I wish for you that you'll be pregnant THIS christmas!!

 

[motherofboys]

Yeah can't help hoping for a little Christmas Miracle but trying not to get ahead of myself. +opk today so we shall see what this month brings.

 

[readyformore]

How's everyone doing?

MOB-super cute picture of the boys.

I just had another HSG done last week. Fortunately it was not at all painful, but she did tell me that my tube was open. I was kind of hoping that it would be closed, as crazy as that sounds. I thought I would be forced into acceptance and move on. No such luck yet.

I'm doing ok emotionally right now. Of course, I'm still hopeful, but I'm looking that either way we will be ok.

 

[motherofboys]

Glad to hear you're doing ok RFM.
I have increased the B6 cos last cycle it took me to a 10 day LP so still need a couple of extra days. I thought I O'd a couple of days ago, had lots of signs, CM, CP and O pains, followed by a temp rise, then my temp just started dropping away and I usually get sore boobs after O and haven't so I think my body geared up to O then didn't for one reason or another. Probably stress, had half term and a few unexpected bills so was worrying about that. Hopefully will O for real soon.
I don't expect to be pregnant this year, I'm not even slightly hopeful atm. I just want a normal cycle LOL
My youngest is potty training and almost completely weaned now. Its really sad to think I will have none in nappies as strange as that sounds after having 2 in nappies, twice.
I went shopping with a friend yesterday. We have been friends since school and her daughter is just 8 weeks older than my youngest and she wants us to be pregnant again at the same time and doesn't know we are TTC as far as she is concerned we are both going to try at the same time, in summer 2013 (I remember her telling me that and thinking how far away that seemed and how I'd probably be TTC number 5 by then, how wrong was I!!!!)

 

[readyformore]

I went shopping with a friend yesterday. We have been friends since school and her daughter is just 8 weeks older than my youngest and she wants us to be pregnant again at the same time and doesn't know we are TTC as far as she is concerned we are both going to try at the same time, in summer 2013 (I remember her telling me that and thinking how far away that seemed and how I'd probably be TTC number 5 by then, how wrong was I!!!!)

Oh I totally thought I'd be pregnant with #5 by now too.

It is bittersweet to have a baby wean and potty train isn't it?

My baby is turning 4 this month!! She's so tall and her hair hangs down to her waist. She's also very social and chatty.......she acts like she's 10.

As happy as I am that our lives are getting easier, it's still sad to think that there's NO baby in the house right now. How bizarre.

Your baby is almost weaned? That will probably do you the most good with your lp.

 

[motherofboys]

Yeah I think it will help loads, it is sad though. He seems so grown up in so many ways now.

 

[readyformore]

Oh, I forgot to mention that when I had my HSG the lady asked if I had any kids. When I told her I had 3, she said, "What's wrong with you?" Like she couldn't possibly understand why I would want more than 3 kids or why I would do fertility testing.

I was so unprepared for the comment that I just didn't know what to say. If looks could have killed though............
Eventually she just said, "Oh, you must really like kids huh?"
I said, "Yeah."

Idiot!!