Anyone ltttc with a large family or wanting a large family?

[motherofboys]

I guess you will need something like the vasectomy to be a firm end. I know I would be tempted to just never use anything again and leave it up to 'fate' if you believe in that sort of stuff. But your right, I wouldnt want to be 'that woman'.

The other day someone who I recently became friends with from the school gates told me that a few months ago when I said that yes we would be having more babies she just and this vision of me with a baby girl. Apparently she gets a 'vibe' when it comes to women having babies. I don't know how much faith I put in it LOL She also told me (I have not mentioned how long we have been trying or anything) that she knows I am doubting myself at the moment but I shouldn't because I WILL have another baby. Which I have been thinking that maybe this is it, this is all I am meant to have and I'll never be pregnant again.

I had a bit of shock news today. My niece is pregnant. She is 19 so not like she is a kid, but not in a very stable relationship and was not trying for a baby. Seems very unfair. And I am now convinced that I wont be pregnant this year even if we don't use anything. My husband of course, ever the optimist, said "well I will just have to knock you up so you can be pregnant together" yes dear because if it was that easy I would have been pregnant 2 years ago and possibly thinking about having number 5 at the same time as my niece having her 1st!
Seriously though I am thinking I can't wait to TTC now, but also that theres no chance of me concieving while she is pregnant. The hardest part is she lives 2 doors away, she is the 1st of her friends to get pregnant and my husband is a lot older than me so I'm the only one even close to her age thats got kids and so we will be shoved together even more than ever now. I love her but talk about having your nose rubbed inn it. I know I will get used to it and love her baby and feel like such a cow for not being over the moon and I wish I could be but I feel cheated

 

[Phillippa]

Readyformore that must have been so hard to hear. What will you do now?

It was. It was devastating really. To think that my likelihood of conceiving is just as similar as someone that is effectively using birth control, is unreal.

What to do now? I am going to see a counselor. I don't want to be the woman that ttc until menopause hoping that she will conceive. It just seems like a lot of wasted energy and time. Maybe this winter DH will get a vasectomy. I have thought about that before anyway. Now I just have a reason to move on.

Please tell me when you visit a counselor. Sometimes it makes me think whether I should see one as well as soon as I'll give up. Tell you what, we both give up in Winter and try to cheer us up together, writing about all the things which bothers us (apart from ttc!) and with which we are happy about. What do you think! I think I will need a soulmate who helps me bury my dream.

 

[Phillippa]

I guess you will need something like the vasectomy to be a firm end. I know I would be tempted to just never use anything again and leave it up to 'fate' if you believe in that sort of stuff. But your right, I wouldnt want to be 'that woman'.

The other day someone who I recently became friends with from the school gates told me that a few months ago when I said that yes we would be having more babies she just and this vision of me with a baby girl. Apparently she gets a 'vibe' when it comes to women having babies. I don't know how much faith I put in it LOL She also told me (I have not mentioned how long we have been trying or anything) that she knows I am doubting myself at the moment but I shouldn't because I WILL have another baby. Which I have been thinking that maybe this is it, this is all I am meant to have and I'll never be pregnant again.

I had a bit of shock news today. My niece is pregnant. She is 19 so not like she is a kid, but not in a very stable relationship and was not trying for a baby. Seems very unfair. And I am now convinced that I wont be pregnant this year even if we don't use anything. My husband of course, ever the optimist, said "well I will just have to knock you up so you can be pregnant together" yes dear because if it was that easy I would have been pregnant 2 years ago and possibly thinking about having number 5 at the same time as my niece having her 1st!
Seriously though I am thinking I can't wait to TTC now, but also that theres no chance of me concieving while she is pregnant. The hardest part is she lives 2 doors away, she is the 1st of her friends to get pregnant and my husband is a lot older than me so I'm the only one even close to her age thats got kids and so we will be shoved together even more than ever now. I love her but talk about having your nose rubbed inn it. I know I will get used to it and love her baby and feel like such a cow for not being over the moon and I wish I could be but I feel cheated

I so much know your feelings! I was exactly the same when my sister got pregnant again. She lost it at a very early stage (7 weeks pregnant) and I was not happy about it, as I really cared about her. After that she told me, that she will ttc for another and she is convinced, that it will happen right away, as she gets pregnant so easily! What a pain!
I am a little ashamed to admit that I am very happy that at the moment they are not ttc as my sister has depressions and has to take drugs so that she is well. She told me that she can't give up the drugs at the moment and as she won't take it when she would like to get pregnant, she and her husband postponed ttc.

I know that I will be devastated again when she will anounce that she is pregnant again! But it's just a matter of time as I am sure she wants another baby. I guess I have to live with it!

MOB, I am sure it will get easier! You will get used to the thought that she will have a baby and who knows - probably you will be pregnant together!!!!

 

[motherofboys]

I know I feel awful cos I wouldnt wish a mc on anyone. Even when I am insanely jealous I wouldnt want them to lose their baby.But I cant help wishing it was me.
I have been telling myself for ages that I should prepare for this. I mean she is 19 and not been single for years (always has 2 or 3 on the go at one time LOL) and her brother is 22 and engaged and living with his girlfriend.

 

[Phillippa]

Ladies, I am really, really angry!! I ovulated a week ago and had pregnancy symptoms from ovulation on. And from yesterday evening on - nothing!! I am not sad any longer, I am just really angry! I don't care any longer whether we will get a third child or not, I just want to get over with this ttc thing.
Anyone here who can understand me?

 

[XxFatMummaxX]

The only symptom I get when preg is sore hips!!
This month they ached like crazy and AF showed up 2 days early!!!!
I suppose anger is something I feel when AF arrives but I would say its more utter disappointment than anything!!
If you o'd and bd'd around the same time there's a chance you're gonna get preg!!
Don't be angry with yourself and don't let TTC grind you down!
Xxxxx

 

[readyformore]

Phillippa- I spoke to the counselor last week. It was really helpful. We didn't get to the point of figuring out where to go or how to stop, but she validated for me why it hurts so much and that I do have a right to be so sad. She said that if my thinking is that I am missing someone, I will feel sad for sure. She told me to shift my focus. It was immensely reassuring to hear her say that it won't always hurt this bad and it will get better.

As for if anyone can relate to you, I am also VERY angry. Honestly, tomorrow marks 2 years of ttc (and cycle 28 is starting), and I am beside myself with negative emotions.

I was snappy and short tempered with my kids all day. How ridiculous is that? I was treating my kids poorly because I can't have any more of them.

Oh, and on a side note, I am SICK TO DEATH of people dismissing my grim diagnosis and my grief with the comment, "at least you already have 3 children."

 

[armymama2012]

Can I join? We want a large family but are having trouble conceiving baby #4. we are hoping to have 10 kids.

 

[motherofboys]

Welcome Armymama. How long have you been trying?

I was snappy and short tempered with my kids all day. How ridiculous is that? I was treating my kids poorly because I can't have any more of them.

I hear that hun, I have been like that in the past. BFN so I'm short tempered with them all day. Doesn't make sense, but I guess they are right there with you all day and they do like to try your patience at the best of times LOL If they weren't around but someone else was I guess it would just as easily be that person.

I'm not entirely sure whats happening with me right now. My usual cycle was Oing around day 20/21 then having a 6 day LP. Last month as you know I took B6 which extended my LP by 5 days! This month we are taking a break but not being too careful about it. So on CD13 I had pains, bloating, spot out break, cervix high open and soft. Then next day it seemed to be a little firmer and slightly less open. CD15 I had pains again and it felt much more open and soft again. Then no more pains or anything and I checked my CP yesterday and was low firm and hard at CD19 So it would appear I O'd at a more 'normal' time (though not completely average) and now I'm just waiting to see what happens as I have not taken B6 I have no clue what to expect from my LP. But as we were not too careful there's the smallest chance I could fall pregnant depending on which day I did O and what my body is doing. Doubt anything will come of it though LOL

 

[readyformore]

Hi armymama. Welcome to the thread. As long as you are ltttc, meaning you have been actively trying for at least a minimum of one year, you are more than welcome to join.

 

[Phillippa]

Phillippa- I spoke to the counselor last week. It was really helpful. We didn't get to the point of figuring out where to go or how to stop, but she validated for me why it hurts so much and that I do have a right to be so sad. She said that if my thinking is that I am missing someone, I will feel sad for sure. She told me to shift my focus. It was immensely reassuring to hear her say that it won't always hurt this bad and it will get better.

As for if anyone can relate to you, I am also VERY angry. Honestly, tomorrow marks 2 years of ttc (and cycle 28 is starting), and I am beside myself with negative emotions.

I was snappy and short tempered with my kids all day. How ridiculous is that? I was treating my kids poorly because I can't have any more of them.

Oh, and on a side note, I am SICK TO DEATH of people dismissing my grim diagnosis and my grief with the comment, "at least you already have 3 children."

Thank you soooo much for sharing your experience with the counselor! At this stage, someone feels very helpless without someone from outside who looks at things from a different angle. Where will you shift your focus to? Have you got any ideas yet?

I am also very short tempered with my kids when I have to admit to myself that it's another cycle without beeing pregnant (it's usually around 7 to 8 days after ovulation).

AF showed up today so it means a new cycle starts. I am more than glad that I have another 3 weeks before my next break-down.

MOB, when do you think a test should be positive?

armymama, welcome! Do you want to tell us a little bit more about yourself?

 

[motherofboys]

That would depend when I actually O'd. I think it should show positive before I go on holiday on the 13th because that would then be around the 14 dpo ( i know it can shoe earlier but if I made it to 14dpo then after just having 6 day lps I wouldnt have a pretty good chance of not being disappointed) tbh though I'm feeling at bit crampy and dischargy. Just had to go check AF hadn't arrived so I think I'm going to have a short lp again. If I am I'd be due on at any point now.

 

[motherofboys]

Well ladies AF arrived this morning. Have mixed feelings about this
1, obviously this means I'm not pregnant, but I'm kind of OK with this, we are not actually trying atm and there was only the tiniest chance anyway.
2, it means I O'd around day 15 or 16, much more normal than day 21 which is a good thing.
3, I had a short 6/7 day LP, so if it stays at that the chances of a happy surprise are very low still.
4, I'm crossing my fingers the earlier O means the start of things evening out, perhaps I will gain a day a month or something until my LP is at a good length. May just be wishful thinking. But I had all the pains etc on the Wednesday and then again on the Friday but much worse. So I'm guessing Friday would have been the day I O'd if so I had a 7 day LP, so I may have gained a day from my usual 6 days.
5, although I had been hoping for a longer LP, at least I'm not now waiting and wondering and I can say I read the signs right and was roughly right about when I O'd. Plus if I had jumped straight to an average cycle I would have been due on 2 days before going on holiday. At least this way its all out the way before I leave.

Sorry for rambling but its all been going round in my head the last couple of hours. I'm sorely tempted to OPK and temp this cycle just to be more accurate and see what happens, but I don't know if I should get back into the pressure of that. I might be better off just waiting till we are ready to try properly again then see what my bodies doing. If I'm not stressing then I might get lucky.

 

[XxFatMummaxX]

Firstly sorry af came but im glad youre so positive about it!!
Why don't you temp or opk? Xx

 

[armymama2012]

Hi armymama. Welcome to the thread. As long as you are ltttc, meaning you have been actively trying for at least a minimum of one year, you are more than welcome to join.[/QUOTE/]

Oh, sorry, I havent been trying that long yet. Good luck to all of you! you are brave to keep going!

 

[motherofboys]

We decided to take the pressure off and take a break, give my body the chance to get back to normal naturally. So I wont be on contraception, and if I opk etc I'll be in TTC zone and will try to encourage my hubby to have an 'accident' lol

 

[readyformore]

MOB, I seriously hope you have an oopsie.

I've just noticed that out of my last 8 cycles, 5 have only been 24-25 days. My whole life I have been 26-29. Now everything is coming earlier. My mom and her sisters were menopausal at 44. I only have one ovary. I know that I will have an early menopause, but dang!! I think I am perimenopausal. How will I ever get another baby with that looming over my head? Ugh!

 

[readyformore]

Hi armymama. Welcome to the thread. As long as you are ltttc, meaning you have been actively trying for at least a minimum of one year, you are more than welcome to join.[/QUOTE/]

Oh, sorry, I havent been trying that long yet. Good luck to all of you! you are brave to keep going!

Thanks armymama. It's either really brave or really stupid. I haven't decided yet.

 

[motherofboys]

I think I'm just stubborn, even when I'm relaxing about it I still haven't given up LOL

 

[cupcake]

Can i join you ladies, i have always wanted a big family and to keep the age gaps small, i live somewherewhere big families are the norm and having kids is your whole life. My first was conceived fairly quickly, my second was conceived while nursing my first at one year, i nursed my second til almost two, i got my period when he was 14 months old and was sure i would get preg again nursing bjt nothing happened for 8 months we tried, my doc refused to help me until i tried for 3 cycles off nursing, so i stopped nursing and a month later was pregnant, it felt all wronv from the start, no nausea, i just knew it wouldnt be ok, at first my hcg was low but it rose nicely, i still felt off, at my first ultrasound there as no fetal pole or hb and that night i miscarried. Couldnt believe it after two normal lpregnancies why. Started trying right away i ovulated after miscarraige and next cycle was 8days late then got my period, so on my third cycle my baby is almost 2.5 i never wanted a big gap, thats my story..