Anyone struggling to get baby number 2??

[Mrs W 11]

Hi tooty, I'm sorry it took you such a long time to miscarry, did you wait for it to happen naturally or did you have complications? You are in good company here, I understand how you feel, I too feel like each month since the mc is going slower and getting harder than the last.

Hi slg. I was thinking about you earlier and thinking I must say what an inspiration you are, to have battled cancer and be here ttc and I'm so glad that you are! Well I'd rather you were in the trimester threads and I hope you are soon, but you know what I mean! I love your positives, no 2 is a good one, I love that we now have our evenings back and get to sleep through the night!

How old is your younger brother now? Mine is now 16 (I'm 33!) so hitting the age I was when he was born which is scary. He's out experimenting with drinking and staying out late, pushing the boundaries etc. I so want to protect him!!

 

[Munchkin30]

Mrs w I was a bit like that. I was due last but was also the most overdue (14 days). I cried when the girl before me had hers but it's been great having the youngest!! I see them quite a lot, the girl due the same time Rowan was I see every week swimming so I'm getting to see her lovely bump growing when I saw her after Rowan was born she gave me a bug hug and I cried and cried. After Rowan was born I felt like it was too hard seeing any of them but I can't give up my life and I'm fine with the girl who had a baby when my last was due now. I love your positive attitude, we need lots of that!!

Sig I love your positives too! And snow flakes, I'm so jealous. We've had no snow at all this year

Hey tooty fruity I can't believe you waited til November! How the heck did that happen?? Yes we need loads of positives. I'm so sick of being miserable and obsessed with ttc. It's time to enjoy life and what we've got and look forward to what we will have in the future, whenever that is

 

[Mrs W 11]

You are right munchkin, lets look forwards. And if one of us has a down day, the others can cheer us up again and remind us of the positives and what the future holds for us. X

 

[Munchkin30]

It's true mrs w. We will all get there, we're just postponing the joy!! My attitude is so much better this time than last time. I was so desperate to get back to where we were it was awful every month. I really need to keep thus positive Attutude and not slip back so you ladies can help me out xx

 

[tootyfruity]

hi mrs w and munchkin, well the first scan showed a sac but 2 weeks later it was the same, i had a laparoscopy as they thought it was ectopic because my hcg levels were so high but thank god it wasnt, i had another scan and they couldnt see a sac just 'remains' of a pregnancy so they said i would pass it or my body would absorb it.

by this time my hcg were dropping but slowly, i went back every week or 2 to have blood taken and aslong as it was dropping they wouldnt do anything, (i had asked for a d&c but they refused because the scan didnt really show anything) i asked lots of questions but they kept saying your hormones are dropping but it might take a while, didnt help that i always saw a different nurse.

i had a few episodes of bleeding in sept oct then nov, i was having cramps and bleeding one day and i went into work and to my surprise i passed the sac, it was such a shock because i thought it had gone, a week later i finally got a negative pregnancy test.

sorry its long and maybe tmi

 

[Munchkin30]

Oh that's awful tooty fruity. I'd have gone nuts! Just waiting and waiting knowing you couldn't move on. When I found out about the mmc I was in for medical management and it was all over 2 days later! And with Rowan once we'd got confirmation of her diagnosis on the Thursday she was born on the Sunday. Waiting just kills me xx

 

[tootyfruity]

i dont know how i didnt go mad but they wouldnt listen, it was torture!

munchkin you are so brave, i hope you get your rainbow baby soon, and everyone else on here

 

[Munchkin30]

Thanks tooty x

Right ladies, I need some opinions on this. Before Rowan was born I was starting to sort her nursery out. I have the cot in there and have also got a co sleeper cot that arrived as we were finding out we would lose her. It's now still boxed with the mattress sheets and everything in the garage. I also have cloth nappies and a wrap etc. Do you think it would be really wierd if I carried on getting the nursery set up, even though I'm not even pregnant it currently trying?? Should I just leave everything as it is?? Is if positive to get the nursery ready for number 2 or just a bit wierd??

 

[Mrs W 11]

Not weird hun, if it gives you something positive to focus on and look forwards to it can only be a good thing. I still have new maternity wear hanging in my wardrobe from my last pregnancy and I can't bring myself to put them in the loft or anything. A bit different I know but they'll hang there until I can wear them again. If the room is spare, and you want to, go ahead and get it ready. I hope your rainbow baby doesn't take long! You absolutely deserve it after all you have been through. X

 

[Munchkin30]

Thanks hon xx I'd sorted all my maternity clothes after my 12 week scan so all my non maternity clothes went in the loft. I've not been able to face sorting them and putting my maternity clothes away again so I'm living in leggings and maternity tops despite my bump being pretty much gone it's so hard. I'm one if the women that really loves having a bump and being only 5ft 1 it was pretty big already at 21 weeks. I miss it so much xx

 

[Foogirl]

Foo; can I ask what your daughter's struggle with walking is?

She has cerebral Palsy. She can walk with support and has taken a few steps without it but we're a loooong way off independent walking.

 

[vermeil]

Foogirl just wanted to send you tons of hugs and positive vibes. My first was a micropreemie, a 27 weeker who weighed 1lb4oz. He also has cerebral palsy but it`s very mild, he is just stiffer on one side. He goes to a daycare specialized in handicaped children (there are 2 per group of 8) and i find the parents just awesome and strong. Just wanted to say I understand all too well the hell you went through that first year, and to say your daughter is beautiful and precious, and lucky to have such an amazing mom.

As for the positive vibes - it took us 18 months to conceive number two. Of course I was worried of a preemie again and stressed the whole pregnancy. But I reached 37 weeks, she is HUGE (weighs 15 lbs at 3 months!) and healthy! I had IVF for the simple reason that it`s free here. worked first cycle too. But i'm pretty confident we would have conceived naturally. We have a 3.5 year gap which i find perfect. My son is old enough to help, play a bit by himself, be patient enough to wait, and i can leave him alone in a room without too much worry ha. Plus since he goes to a great daycare so I spend the day with my daughter, so she has that lovely 1:1 time as well.

OP i am sorry for your losses you will get there, good news is you can fall pregnant, just a question of time

 

[slg76]

mrsW; thanks for your kind words. I have had a lot to overcome in life but the only choice I can imagine making is to keep moving forward and trying to make things better. My hubby reminded me today that this past week was my 3 year anniversary of being cancer free. Hooray
My brother is 18 now (I'm 37). There are a couple other kids in the middle too (I'm 2 of 6). He is a super smart, responsible kid. He's an engineering major, has had the same girlfriend for over 2 years, and spends his free time training to be an EMT and teaching karate.

Tooty; oh my word!! I can't imagine going through a mc for so very long. I had a mmc in Oct last year. I was 6.5 weeks along. By 9.5 weeks I was done waiting and went ahead and had a D&C. I'm so sorry that your doctors weren't doing more for you.

Munchkin; I think you should do with the nursery whatever feels best for you. It doesn't matter if it's "weird" to anyone else. I have a basement corner that is full of baby clothes, crib, highchair, etc. I sure hope I get to use it all again.
I loved being pregnant and in fact was a little sad about it ending when I delivered. I can't imagine having to go through a delivery and having your bump gone but not having your baby. I'm so impressed that you are being so upbeat and focusing on the positives.

Good night ladies

 

[tootyfruity]

Munchkin I don't think it's weird if you want to finish the nursery! People who haven't been through it may not understand but that doesn't matter!

Slg- I think every week there was hope that I would get a negative test but Looking back I should of said more. I think I remember you from one of the threads in miscarriage support? There was one Where we were waiting to get negative pregnancy tests?

 

[Munchkin30]

Thanks vermeil. That's the thing, I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel and the only tragedy would be wishing my life away until that and missing my dd's toddler years. I am having to fight my brain all the time. If I wallowed in the should be or could haves I would go crazy, it bites me a lot, thinking I should be feeling Rowan kicking about happily and should be so many weeks pregnant by now but that happened after my last mc too and I eventually got over it. I'd got to such a lovely bit of oregnancy with Rowan and the only thing getting me through is the knowledge I'll be there again with another baby xx

Thanks tooty fruity and sig after everything that's happened I need to just stop caring what anyone else things and about being judged. I've learnt you never know how you'll behave in a certain situation until it happens to you xx

 

[Foogirl]

Foogirl just wanted to send you tons of hugs and positive vibes. My first was a micropreemie, a 27 weeker who weighed 1lb4oz. He also has cerebral palsy but it`s very mild, he is just stiffer on one side. He goes to a daycare specialized in handicaped children (there are 2 per group of 8) and i find the parents just awesome and strong. Just wanted to say I understand all too well the hell you went through that first year, and to say your daughter is beautiful and precious, and lucky to have such an amazing mom.

As for the positive vibes - it took us 18 months to conceive number two. Of course I was worried of a preemie again and stressed the whole pregnancy. But I reached 37 weeks, she is HUGE (weighs 15 lbs at 3 months!) and healthy! I had IVF for the simple reason that it`s free here. worked first cycle too. But i'm pretty confident we would have conceived naturally. We have a 3.5 year gap which i find perfect. My son is old enough to help, play a bit by himself, be patient enough to wait, and i can leave him alone in a room without too much worry ha. Plus since he goes to a great daycare so I spend the day with my daughter, so she has that lovely 1:1 time as well.

OP i am sorry for your losses you will get there, good news is you can fall pregnant, just a question of time

Thanks for that we're luckier than most. Her CP is mild too and affects only her lower limbs. From the neck up she is all there and then some! She is in mainstream schooling with additional support.

 

[slg76]

you're right tootyfruity, we were in that same thread about waiting for negative HPTs. I didn't realize until you said. My hormone level dropped ok but I didn't get a period for quite a while. That cycle was 111 days!

 

[Munchkin30]

Eurgh sig 111days?? My first cycle after mc was about 37 days!! Are your cycles regular now? Were they regular before? Xx

 

[slg76]

My cycles stopped completely during cancer treatment but they had been regular for a good while before the mc. I went back to my acupuncturist after my cycle went MIA for so long after the mc. The next day I had cramps and the next week I had a period! They have been regular since then. Short but regular. last one was 23 days with 12 day luteal phase.

 

[Munchkin30]

Oh yes I remember now sig xx