Anyone struggling to get baby number 2??

[Munchkin30]

Bless her! Yes get some new pics up. Although I can't really talk, the pic on the left is my dd is nearly 2 and a half!! X

I had another negative opk today, although the second line is very strong but I suspect it's because of the hpt and doing it with fmu. I'll keep tracking it though just so I know where I am and when to expect AF x

 

[Munchkin30]

Ladies I'm really struggling with everywhere else in baby and bump at the moment the other threads in toddler and preschool all seem to be about how hard it is having 2 close together, or what buggy board you need for a 2 year old etc. I have a buggy board sitting waiting but at this rate my dd will be too old for it
The miscarriage board is always so depressing, I feel like I've graduated the ttc after mc board and I don't want to go backwards, and the ttc board is just loads of people getting their bfps at the drop of a hat and I know they'll all have happy healthy pregnancies first time!
Where else do you go in baby and bump? X

 

[Button#]

I find general chatter good at those times, that or I take a break and play candy crush!

 

[Munchkin30]

I've not been there yet! I'll pop in later. Off swimming now with the girl I know who's baby is due same time as Rowan was. See how much her lovely bumps grown the past 2 weeks

 

[celine]

Awww mucnhkin i was thinking of that too, which thread..our old rhread isnt the same without you and i still shy away from the oreggo biards, they are far too over confident!
I peeked on the board and noticed the threads about close age gaps etc etc and i thought of you, at this stage i dont care the age gap or the gender...all we really want is a healthy baby.

I do think you are such a positive person though, i have two friends who have had losses at 30 weeks (died in utero) and 22 weeks (ethical loss ) and they are both struggling. I dont blame them. I think even thought a loss is a loss, you saw Rowan, you felt her more than i knew my losses you saw a baby and had to say goodbye. Good lord im in tears just thinking about how brave you must of been.

So i think you are so brave and strong, and i hope you dont mind if i follow your threads wherever you choose to go...bnb used to be so easy for me but its just not the same x

 

[Foogirl]

Totally agree and those posts banging on about the perfect age gap and how people are looking to get the timing right, even down to what month they want also born. Eurgh.

But I also spend a lot of time in the preemie section. That reminds me that for all those with Rose tinted spectacles and first world type problems there are mums of babies miracle babies who, although they are struggling, display immense courage and hope that many others can only wish they had.

 

[tootyfruity]

Hey everyone,

Munchkin - that's so nearly negative, nearly there! I spent months testing weekly for a negative, it's horrible, but won't be long for you.

Foogirl - how scary to have that happen, hope She's better now.
And Sorry to hear it didn't happen for you this month.

I'm 9dpo today and did a test, think I'm out.my son has a sickness bug so I'm at home today, I keep staring at the test hoping to see a line, I'm such a geek lol

 

[Munchkin30]

Tooty fruity yes it looks like I'll be lucky again, it shouldn't be too long a cycle. I don't know how you dealt with it all those months. 9dpo is still stupid early you know. I got a bfn at 10dpo and got a bfp at 13dpo and she's upstairs sleeping now!! Sometimes wise to prepare yourself though. On another thread we called it protective pessimism!

Celine thank you for your words. I really wouldn't wish what we had to do on my worst enemy but you've got no choice but to keep going and stay positive. I really am doing ok and in a lot of ways it's actually easier than my 12 week loss. People recognise this one and I feel I'm able to grieve whereas last time I didn't feel able to really grieve a baby that never really developed?? Also I think a second loss is easier because you are hardened a bit and have already dealt with some of the issues that will help the process. I also know that we will get pregnant again because we've done it 3 times now! I'm sorry I don't feel able to go back to the waiting for ov thread. I just feel like it's a backwards step and it reminds me I've got nowhere since last year and that's really hard.

I snapped at my gran a lot today. She came to watch swimming and as always nagged me about overdoing it and said I'll never have anther child until I slow down (I work 3 days a week and I'm lazy at home, I really don't overdo it!) then as we left I out Charlotte in the car seat and she said 'no wonder you can't keep your babies when you're lifting her around' and at that moment the lady I know who's baby is due same time as Rowan walked past carrying her daughter who's bigger than mine and I snapped 'she's still bloody pregnant though isn't she??' It's so hurtful sometimes but she just doesn't get it!

 

[celine]

Oh munchkin indont blame you for snapping at ur gran! For crying out loud you are gettng ur body into shape and carrrying ur daughter has nothing to do with any of your losses! I hope she was a bit nicer after that?

I think you are right about a second loss being "easier" in that you are hardened. My second loss way more complicated but that first one as small as it was, hit me emotionally like i never expected. Im still dreading of having this rainbow on the day i held that 7 week old fetus in my hands....i know its silly.

You will totally get pregnant again! When is your post mortem for Rowam? In 3-4 weeks? Thinking of you tomorrow for the memorial service xxx

My 2nd loss edd is next week already....

 

[Munchkin30]

It's hard because she doesn't get it. It's like talking to a toddler sometimes! She's been so good to us in the last though I have to be patient. If I thought anything she said was true it would bother me more but I tend to come home and have a laugh about how ridiculous the things she says are with OH!

I can't believe your Edd is on it's way already but at least you can stroke your wriggly tum and take comfort on your angel. I pray I'm pregnant again by July 17th. My last edd was in January and being past 12 weeks with Rowan was such a comfort. I think the hospital should get in touch soon. They said 6 weeks and it's 4 on Sunday x

 

[tootyfruity]

Yes it is still early so still a slight chance, I definitely prepare myself though, that's a great phrase 'protective pessimism' .

Why do gran's always say things like that? Mines the same and She's so blunt too, I'm always like 'don't hold back will you' lol

 

[Mrs W 11]

Oh my goodness. My gran was the same, very blunt. Once I walked in and she said 'blimey you've put on a lot of weight!!' Oh thanks nan!! You must have been so upset when she mentioned about your losses being linked to carrying your lo though, I'm not surprised you snapped, how insensitive.

I still go in the ttc area and ttc after loss and occasionally pop into mc support, but mostly I chat on threads to other people. I've made a few friends and I catch up every day or every few days. I also like going into birth announcements and reading the birth stories. It just makes me excited to do it all again and to focus on the fact that I have done it once and I will do it again.

What's everyone up to today? I had my friends little boy this morning so 2 20 month Oldsmobile feeling knackered now! Freya is in bed and I'm meant to be cleaning but not got any done yet.

I'm 7 dpo today. Trying to figure out how to wean off my agnus castus as I don't know if you are meant to just stop taking it. I've stopped the star flower oil though.

 

[Foogirl]

When it comes to grandmas I just think once you get to a certain age you just get to say anything that comes to mind and get away with it. Thing is, you know it's not a weight issue, just remember that and take gran's comment with a pinch of salt!

 

[Munchkin30]

Mrs w how much agnus castus are you taking? When did you start taking it? Is it for a particular issue? After my last mc I took 800mg a day, I stopoed at the start of I think my second AF after I was scared by so done saying that if you stop during pregnancy it can cause spotting. I'm taking 400mg this time until the bottle runs out!! Also when you stop taking evening primrose oil after ov (which I think could be the same as starflower??) you can take flaxseed oil the second half of the cycle.
When we start trying I will take prenatals and 5mg folic acid the whole cycle and before ov I'll take epo, omegas, royal jelly and vit c and zinc as well. After ov I'll behave like I'm pregnant, I'm not risking anything this time !!

 

[Mrs W 11]

Hi munchkin, I'm taking holland and Barrett agnus castus, the bottle says 3.9mg of fruit extract equivalent to 23-30mg of ac fruit. No idea what that means but I take 1 tablet a day. I started it on cd2 of this cycle. Basically because last cycle (cycle 2 after mmc) was awful and I'm pretty sure I have a hormone imbalance. After af I spotted for another week, ovulated early and bled for 4 days during ov, started spotting at 5dpo and af arrived 9 dpo. Normally my af lasts 5 days, ovulate on cd19 and a 14 day lp. This cycle has so far been completely normal.

I've stopped taking the starflower oil as of today as its a stronger version of evening primrose oil (higher gla content) As i know it can cause uterine contractions. I'm also taking pregnacare conception and a vit b complex.

I'm just worried that if I stop the ac my progesterone could plummet and ill end up with af early again and sabotage an early pregnancy if had conceived. But then again I don't want to keep taking it just incase because even to loads of people on here say its safe to take through first tri, the bottle says don't take if ttc or pregnant. I was thinking of taking half a tablet tomorrow and half the next day and then maybe quarter for a day or two? Even if I am pregnant it wouldn't have implanted yet so not getting anything from me just yet.

 

[Mrs W 11]

What does flaxseed oil do?

 

[Munchkin30]

I'm not sure about the agnus castus dose. I'm taking loads if that's the dose!! If I were you I'd drop to half a tablet for the rest of the cycle and then if you get a bfp go to a quarter for a few days them drop it. It sounds like you could do with just getting your lp longer. I took vit b complex for that and I think it's the best thing. Flaxseed oil does the same as evening primrose but it's safe after ov x

 

[Mrs W 11]

Ok thanks munchkin. I'm taking vit b complex as well so fingers crossed. X

 

[slg76]

Munchkin, it sounds like gran deserved to be snapped at! I know she probably didn't mean it to be as blunt as it came out and you didn't mean to snap but what she said was mean and untrue.
I guess you are just stuck here with us then Some days I look at new threads and answer questions for new people but some days I just can't stomach it. I keep up with 3 threads, this one and two in ttc after a loss.

I spent all morning helping a friend clean her house as she is about to put it up for sale. Soon I'm meeting another friend and we are taking our daughters for a walk around the park.

 

[Munchkin30]

Well ladies the service was lovely. I cried through the whole thing (and I never cry at funerals!) there were 5 babies being cremated but we were the only parents there. I don't blame them though because we didn't go to the service for our January baby.

We lit a candle for Rowan and the vicar lit candles for the other 4. We prayed (I'm not particularly religious but it was lovely) and the bereavement midwife was there and gave us the flowers they'd brought as we were the only parents. She also showed us where the ashes would be scattered, it's a beautiful area of the gardens with a bridge over a little brook to get to it so it's like a private little island. So special. Then me and oh went to our health club and had sugary tea (like you do at a wake!) and went for swims and sauna and jacuzzi then had lunch.

We're back now and I feel like we've done our beautiful girl justice once more .

I have to say, Queens hospital in burton on Trent have been amazing through the whole thing. They've gone out of their way to do all the tiny things that matter to grieving parents, including the service today. I will be singing their praises for ever xx