Anyone TTC #1 and 30 or older?

[Jezika]

Angel - glad I'm not the only one who really took those kids' movies to heart. I can't even remember the storyline in Dumbo, to be honest, just that it really, really upset me. As for birth plan, I have midwives rather than a doctor, so they've told me all about their standard protocols around cord clamping and baby being putting on my chest etc. I did a tour of the hospital a few weeks ago and that's where they said about how their protocol is not to separate baby from parents unless there are complications, and even then they suggest your partner follows the baby so he/she is never separate from a parent. For me that's important for things like making sure no one gives her formula without consulting with me (because of potential "nipple confusion").

As for hypnobirthing, the course we took came with this book https://www.amazon.ca/HypnoBirthing...480792400&sr=8-2&keywords=hypnobirthing+marie which I like because it's not judgmental about hospital births and I can overlook the bias against epidurals, which isn't too strong of a bias anyway. Basically, I just agree with its philosophy that animals, both human and non-human, have been giving birth for millennia, and as long as there are no ACTUAL complications, it's not actually a dangerous or stressful process. Animals don't writhe around screaming in agony. And when there is danger and the fight/flight/freeze response kicks in, labour shuts down because that is what is most adaptive in the moment... so they can get away or be still and hide rather than continuing with birth. But when we, as humans, are petrified of labour because we expect all this pain and the hundreds of things that can go wrong, that fight/flight/freeze system kicks in, our uterine muscles no longer work in harmony, pain increases and labour slows or shuts down. And then we get told by doctors that labour isn't progressing so we get given medications to artificially get it going and/or pain relief medications, which often distress baby, which then causes more complications, which make you even more scared, which is even worse for labour, and then before you know it it's recommended that the best thing to get baby out before he/she gets more distressed is a c-section or forceps or whatever else. I'm not judging the use of ANY of these things (and of course I am very open to having an epi), but if these things are avoidable, I'm down with that.

So... I'm fully accepting these things might happen anyway, because I want to be open to anything and not feel disappointed, frightened or unprepared if it does, but it is important for me to try to stay relaxed and positive, trust my body, and be okay with giving enough time for labour rather than thinking something is wrong if it takes longer, all in the hopes that eliminating the fear means my body does what it needs to do more easily and therefore the chances of excessive pain, stalled labour and interventions decrease (which apparently is often the case with hypnobirthing). Stuff about "breathing baby out" rather than having to push and the possibility of having a completely pain-free labour I am a bit more skeptical about, but everything above makes sense to me personally.

 

[Angel5000]

Jezika - thanks for the link! I think I saw that book when I was looking. Maybe I'll go ahead and pick it up. It's so hard to decide which one to buy when there are so many options out there! Most of what they say makes sense to me, but I also accept that things might have to go differently, and I am open to that as well. I just want to be able to be relaxed and not fearful the whole time. I swear everyone just wants to tell you horror stories about how birth was, and I don't want to walk in afraid that is how it is going to be.

 

[KatO79]

Jezika and Angel I hope you soon have your plans ready and get the births you want.

AFM my MIL asked about Alexander's weight from my first Mommy Group meeting (which was around 5.1 kg and within the norm and the health care provider seemed happy with it with 0 concerns). My MIL claims all 3 of her sons weighed more at the same age (all 3 were bf'ed as well) so she's sure he can't be putting on enough weight and thinks I'm not making enough milk Ugh really pisses me off that she's acting like this. Trying to let it roll off my back and ignore it but it's hard.

 

[Angel5000]

Kat - ugh. I hate the bit where everyone else thinks that they have to pipe in and tell you what to do. If the doctor isn't concerned then I'm sure he's fine. Just because HER kids were bigger doesn't mean that your kid is supposed to be exactly the same size!

 

[star_e]

Thank you all for the responses. I will look into taking a hypnobirthing class. Maybe towards the mid to end of second tri or whenever it's recommended. I want to learn about all the things you all talk about bc I've just heard the words before but didn't know anything about medical intervention or many other things. I learn a lot from you all. So thank you.

In other news my nausea has gotten worse but it seems to come about suddenly and at night. Especially last two nights. I'm starting to think maybe something else is wrong bc it was unbearable last night. The thing is I'm not vomiting. I want to but it doesnt come out. What I want to do is go number 2 but I'm constipated and so I'm there in utter discomfort without having a full bowel movement. Did any of you experience constipation?

Kat - I can imagine how tired you must be and when I hear about what your schedule is like and the schedule of many mothers at the early stage I get a bit scared but it's so important to hear bc for me knowing in advance what things are like is so important to me. So thank you so much for always sharing.

 

[drjo718]

Star- I'm sorry youre feeling crappy (no pun intended ). Constipation is a common pregnancy problem. Are you taking colace (a stool softener)? If it's an ongoing issue, you can take colace twice a day. If you need relief sooner, try miralax or even milk of magnesia. (I'm a labor and delivery nurse, so if you have questions about anything, I'd be happy to help.)

 

[Angel5000]

I had my baby shower today. I feel so spoiled. My sister designed everything around a Star Wars theme which meant she was doing most of the put together of decorations herself, and it was a lot of work I'm sure, but it was amazing. My aunt found a local bakery that does AMAZING cakes that are gluten and dairy free (I'm only GF, but she and my mom are also dairy free) and seriously, it tasted better than a normal store bought cake. Most of my guests commented that it tasted better than most cakes. They decorated it with a picture of princess leia and wrote "it's a Jedi Princess!" on it.

I came away with so much stuff! I still have a lot of bigger stuff and necessities to buy but my sister's neighbor who we've started to become friends with gave us her old stroller, pack'n'play and a diaper genie!

Oh, and Genius Idea here: My sister set up a diaper raffle. For every bag or box of diapers that someone brought they got an entry into the raffle. Then I had bought a gift pack as a reward (we were going to do a gift card but couldn't decide for where - so we did a nice gift basket). All in all I spent about $30 on the gift pack and I came home with 7 bags of diapers & a large costco size box of diapers (varying sizes of 1s and 2s). Plus my BIL made me an R2D2 diaper cake (yay star wars) using over 100 newborn diapers anda couple packs of wipes! One of the best ideas I'd ever seen!

I'm still gushing a little.

Star - sorry to hear about the constipation! That's one of the worst symptoms I think. Definitely look into some stool softeners that are baby safe.

 

[KatO79]

Angel yeah so true! Apparently she also started pushing for supplementing with formula which also pissed me off Makes me wonder if she's been talking to my toxic mother as she wasn't happy we got the green light to stop supplementing. Don't know if I'd be comfortable with letting MIL babysit now since she may give him formula when it isn't necessary. Sounds like you had a great shower

star no problem As for constipation, try upping your water intake and eating more fiber. That helped me a lot! But I also really wanted to avoid taking drugs for it so went as natural as possible with alleviating those uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms.

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

Star I've been dealing with some gnarly constipation. It stays for three/ four days and then goes away. I finally took colace Saturday (and then accidentally made myself puke from brushing my teeth about an hour later) by doctor recommendation and yesterday I was on and off the toilet all day and my stomach hurt so bad. It's still hurting a little today but I think most of what was stopped up in there is out now thank goodness.

 

[Angel5000]

I've found that keeping up my water intake has really helped me avoid some of the worse parts of constipation this pregnancy. I drink about 100+ oz of water a day though. So that's really a lot for some people but it might help you guys out. Maybe. I also used metamucil (I didn't know what colace was) a few times early on and that was also helpful.


I decided to take some bump pics today since I'm at 35 weeks. I haven't been taking regular bump pics lately so I did a comparison to the last one I took in the same shirt (back to the last week of October). Not sure if there's a drastic change but I'm definitely feeling it more!

 

[star_e]

Thank you all for the advice on the constipation. I will try some bc it's been very hard being this nauseas at night. It's not every night but when it comes it's pretty bad.

Angel - you look super cute with that gorgeous bump!

 

[PSamuel]

Hi everyone!

New to bnb and so excited reading everyone's journey! I'm 32 and TTC#1. Currently in the tww of cycle 3. Been married 2 years (in nov) to the absolute love of my life! Looking to make new friends to take the edge away from TTC and tww!

Cheers,
PS

 

[KatO79]

Angel great pics

star the nausea at night I never really had but my 1st thought was maybe try eating a snack before going to bed. It's actually recommended that pregnant women with morning sickness eat 6 meals instead of 3. You snack 3 of those times and have 3 smaller main meals.

Welcome PS

 

[MissDoc]

Star, I'm with you. I have the nighttime
nausea and constipation and it's lasted into the second tri for me. I found snacking and carbonated beverages helped maybe 50% of the time with the nausea, otherwise just have to wait it out. Still trying to find the right balance for managing the constipation. Started fiber gummies, and I always drink a lot of water. Prunes did nothing for me but I may try prune juice next. Exercise helps some. If you find the magic combo let me know!

Angel, you are adorable! The shape of the bump is definitely changing. You are so so close! Melody is almost here! Sounds like her baby shower went super well, too. That's great!

PSam, welcome to our group!

Gagrl, how is your little bean growing? Have you gotten to hear a heartbeat yet? I'm sorry if I missed it!

Kat, sorry your MIL keeps making comments about breastfeeding not be sufficient. You and the doctors are the experts on your son... she is not. I'd probably tell her something like a little fib, like the doctor thinks the formula causes GI problems for Alexander so you're on strict rules not to give formula... just so she doesn't try to sneak it to your baby thinking she knows best. I don't know.

 

[KatO79]

Thanks MissDoc Yeah it's super annoying, she was here last night and mentioned formula again I don't know why she's being so adamant about formula. Actually if I start supplementing with formula too often my milk production will suffer so her advice is totally flawed. Also Alexander mostly only feeds from 1 breast at each feeding and he's never "emptied" both breasts the few times he wants more after feeding from one breast. Unfortunately can't fib as Alexander was being supplemented for a few weeks and we never mentioned problems. Think I'll just have to make sure I've pumped a couple of small bottles worth of milk (even though I don't like pumping very much and it's a slight hassle) if we do need her help and make sure we don't have formula lying around, then she'd have to go out and buy it herself if she's so adamant but at least I wouldn't be enabling her.

Oh and be careful with carbonated drinks if you develop heartburn, it made my heartburn worse so I cut down tons on how much I drank.

 

[Angel5000]

This insomnia is killing me. I'm in bed by 9pm every night, fall asleep before 10pm most nights. I find myself waking up between 1:30-2am every night and CANNOT GO BACK TO SLEEP. Most nights I fall back asleep around 4:30 (my alarm goes off around 5am for work). Today I was still awake when the alarm went off. I am functioning on less than 4 hours of sleep every night, and those 4 hours are broken up because sometime between 10 and 1 I wake up from the hip pain and have to move.

If one more person tells me "what do you think you're going to do when the baby is here, you won't sleep then either" or "it's God's way of preparing you for when the baby comes and you aren't sleeping" I think I'll punch someone. Two significant differences: when baby comes I'll have 3 months of leave so even if I am not getting a lot of sleep I WON'T be getting up at 5am to go to work and try to teach math to a 140 teenagers! And secondly, the excruciating hip/pelvic pain I'm dealing with (which is now almost nonstop even when I'm NOT moving) is (supposedly) going to go away after birth. So even dealing with no sleep I'll at least not have excruciating pain.

My point? It's not the same thing and I'm tired of people telling me to get over it, or "well what did you expect".


PSamuel - welcome! This is a great group of ladies, we've been together for a long time, and the support here is fantastic. The TWW can be excruciating, hopefully you can get your mind off the wait. When are you planning on testing? Or are you just going to wait for AF?

 

[MissDoc]

Kat, good plan with pumping. If she sees plenty of milk then maybe she won't go searching for formula. Yeah, with the carbonated beverages I've found I can't do ginger ale... gives me major heartburn. But a little sprite here and there (2x a week or so) doesn't seem to bother me. I haven't tried much else.

Angel, I have so much sympathy for you and I don't even have a big belly yet. The night before last I just laid in bed and cried when I woke up yet again around 2ish because I needed to pee, because I've been struggling to fall back asleep too. And I get up at 5:30 so I know the feeling of dread knowing that those night time hours are precious and there's absolutely no where to make them up when you've got a full day of work ahead of you. I'm astounded that every one says "sleep now before the baby gets here" because that seems to be impossible. Yet when you can't sleep they say, "oh well that's what it'll be like with baby, better get used to it." People have something to say about everything. And when we're sleep deprived we're not particularly tolerant of crappy one liners. I feel you. I can't imagine how grouchy I will be if this persists when I'm huge. I hope you get a nice long holiday break and can fit in some rest soon.

 

[PSamuel]

Thanks for the warm welcome, you guys!

Soooo this morning my high temp has completely changed my FF chart

Initially CD14 was my O day, today it moved O to CD20. So I went from being 9dpo to 3dpo. I want the tww to go FASTER not the other way around! Oh boy! I was going to test on 12/10 (would have been 13dpo), looks like i have to wait, but I may still test on the 10th just to satisfy my curiosity!

 

[KatO79]

PS I don't know much about FF charting as I never got into charting Yeah you can always try testing! I think few do get a BFP on 8 dpo but it's more likely once you're about 9 dpo or more. FXed!

Angel and MissDoc so sorry about the insomnia, I remember it too well in my 3rd tri. Think I mentioned what you don't want to hear in a previous post Angel, sorry Have either of you invested in a pregnancy pillow? I had just a regular long one (had the top part under my bump and the rest between my legs) and that seemed to help but know there are more expensive alternatives. Maybe look into one? In the meantime if you can find a pillow to put between your legs that somewhat keeps it shape, then that should help in the meantime.

 

[PSamuel]

KatO79 - I may test tomorrow just for some peace of mind, instead of second guessing. This is my first cycle using FF, so don't know how reliable it is when it shifts dates.