anyone ttc or ntnp before there child is a year old?

[blessedmomma]

thanks ladies- he has slept most of the day so hopefully he is recovering

yay spiffy! testing monday!!!!!

pez- thats such a cute scan pic

love the names ladies! my first 3 i had the name picked very fast. the last 3 i decided i didnt want to be locked down so fast. it keeps getting later and later. the next may be born before we have a name.

 

[Skadi]

Great Scan pic Pez! Awww!

 

[Pezkin]

Thank you for all your lovely comments

Youngwife - that's so odd you should say that - I am ordering the CDS and books for hynobirthing too! I looked in to classes but you are right, they are just too expensive. Which ones are you doing? I am looking into the Maggie Howell Hypnotherapy ones, going to get them when I am paid. I really think it will help too, I am sure that part of the reason Harrison's birth was so traumatic was because I panicked and gave in to the fear, I really hope I can manage it better this time as I was very very upset about it for a long time.

Harley - the hynobirthing is mainly to help you remain calm and manage the pain better I think. Can you believe with my first I was utterly utterly convinced that it "couldn't possibly be as bad as everyone made it out to be" and didn't prepare at all, thinking it would be easy. Well karma soon got me. Back to back labour and a resulting EMCS, it was HORRIFIC, and I have learnt that actually, I don't have a good pain threshold at all. I really hope the CDs and books will help me this time...

 

[Pielette]

Thank you ladies, I am really starting to love the name! Absolutely no clue what we would choose for a boy so got to get thinking. I kind of have a girl vibe, I'm not sure why and it's probably too early to think that way but that's what my subconscious is thinking.

Pez your bean is gorgeous! Love the name Elizabeth, it's so classic and elegant.

I will be going for another home birth yes I absolutely loved my experience giving birth to Noah at home, I was a bit gutted though cos after my great birth I then collapsed about four hours later with dehydration and had to be taken to hospital for two days. So I didn't quite get the after bit I was hoping for. This time I want that to go right so DH and my mum have strict instructions to make sure I drink water throughout.

Funny that you should mention hypno birthing, I did it myself. I wouldn't say I used any of the techniques as such, but what it did do was teach me to be positive and embrace it. It's why I chose to do a home birth because I had never considered it before!

 

[youngwife20]

Thank you for all your lovely comments

Youngwife - that's so odd you should say that - I am ordering the CDS and books for hynobirthing too! I looked in to classes but you are right, they are just too expensive. Which ones are you doing? I am looking into the Maggie Howell Hypnotherapy ones, going to get them when I am paid. I really think it will help too, I am sure that part of the reason Harrison's birth was so traumatic was because I panicked and gave in to the fear, I really hope I can manage it better this time as I was very very upset about it for a long time.

Harley - the hynobirthing is mainly to help you remain calm and manage the pain better I think. Can you believe with my first I was utterly utterly convinced that it "couldn't possibly be as bad as everyone made it out to be" and didn't prepare at all, thinking it would be easy. Well karma soon got me. Back to back labour and a resulting EMCS, it was HORRIFIC, and I have learnt that actually, I don't have a good pain threshold at all. I really hope the CDs and books will help me this time...

The same ones you want to get somoene recommended her of here.

I have the effective birthing preperation book. the cd and then the cd with the music on for labour i keep falling alseep when listenting to it lol but i am going to listen to the cd this morning. the book im only just starting out but its really good there is a story in the begining about a woman who is in a rural community in a 3rd world country. she knows nothing medical about labour. all she knows is its what her body is ment to do and she has no fear of what will happen as she has seen many people do it before. it explains her confidence in her ability and that she doesnt worry about anything bad that could happen. it really boosted how i thought about things because i realised im constantly worrieing what ifs and reading up on the negitives that could happen thinking i am prepearing myself but it actual fact all i am doing is causing myself more worry and at the momment i am not confident in my ability to birth my emc has made me feel like my body isnt designed to do it. so i am hoping as i get further along in this book/cd that will change, i hope you get on well with it! xx i cant wait to see our mental atitude change towards how we birth and how we feel about us birthing. i cant wait to feel fearless. and calmer .. i always think im gonna die when it comes to labour im so dramatic!! x

 

[youngwife20]

Thank you ladies, I am really starting to love the name! Absolutely no clue what we would choose for a boy so got to get thinking. I kind of have a girl vibe, I'm not sure why and it's probably too early to think that way but that's what my subconscious is thinking.

Pez your bean is gorgeous! Love the name Elizabeth, it's so classic and elegant.

I will be going for another home birth yes I absolutely loved my experience giving birth to Noah at home, I was a bit gutted though cos after my great birth I then collapsed about four hours later with dehydration and had to be taken to hospital for two days. So I didn't quite get the after bit I was hoping for. This time I want that to go right so DH and my mum have strict instructions to make sure I drink water throughout.

Funny that you should mention hypno birthing, I did it myself. I wouldn't say I used any of the techniques as such, but what it did do was teach me to be positive and embrace it. It's why I chose to do a home birth because I had never considered it before!

so brave you doing a home birth for your first labour. i couldnt do that! because of the fear of something going wrong your so confident in yourself that you could do it how was the pain of labour for you? i only felt pain till i was 3cm lol then i had a epidural as i was on the hormone drip after that and they told me i HAD to have an epi for a managed stage labour.. i now know that isnt true x

 

[youngwife20]

Pie, the name Erin sounds lovely! The middle name is great, too. So nice when we can honor the people we love that way. I know it's early, but do you think you'll be doing another home water birth?

Oh, Chez, no you didn't miss an update. I posted about it in my journal but totally forgot to post it in here. My bad.

Blessed, I hope your little monkey recovers soon (and that you get the needed rest in the meantime), and that it's not anything more than a cold. Ear infections are no fun!

Pez, what an adorable little bean you've got there! And Elizabeth is a beautiful name. It's one of my middle names, but I don't think it's a family name or anything. As I said, I think it's so nice when there can be a connection to family or tradition in someone's name.

youngwife, I don't really know much about hypnobirthing. Is it just a way to manage the pain? Or is it supposed to help you be able to deliver vaginally as well? Sounds interesting.

Hi hun i found this which explains it clearer than i would have! from my understanding its not exactly to help you deliver vaginaly.. its to help you deliver calmly and peacefully and usualy because of the techqniques etc the result is a vaginal delivery. some people still do this and need assistance in labour but it reduces the risk of the mother needing these interventions

What is HypnoBirthing�?

HypnoBirthing� is a complete birth education programme, that teaches simple but specific self hypnosis, relaxation and breathing techniques for a better birth.

HypnoBirthing� is much more than just self hypnosis or hypnotherapy for childbirth.

With HypnoBirthing�, you'll discover that severe pain does not have to be an accompaniment of labour
You'll learn how to release the fears and anxieties you may currently have about giving birth, and how to overcome previous traumatic births
HypnoBirthing� lets you discover and experience the joy and magic of birth - rather than the horrific ordeal everyone else seems hell-bent on telling you about
Most importantly, you'll learn how to put yourself back in control of your birth - rather than blindly turning your birthing experience over to your doctor or midwife.

HypnoBirthing� doesn't mean you'll be in a trance or a sleep. Rather, you'll be able to chat, and be and in good spirits - totally relaxed, but fully in control. You'll always be aware of what is happening to you, and around you.

HypnoBirthing� doesn't require any particular belief system, or prior experience. Some of our mums (and especially their husbands!) have been very sceptical at first - until they experience it for themselves.

In fact, the more sceptical they are to start with, the more evangelical they are when they discover the power of HypnoBirthing�.

Just imagine welcoming each surge! Feeling peaceful... relaxing... and even smiling as your baby comes closer to you!

In short, HypnoBirthing� allows you to experience birth in an atmosphere of calm relaxation, free of the fear and tension that prevents the birthing muscles of your body from functioning as Nature intended them to

https://www.hypnobirthing.co.uk/what_is_hypnobirthing.shtml

 

[Pezkin]

Pielette that is amazing that you had a home birth for your first! I think I would have been far too worried about something going wrong - in fact it did, so in a way I guess it was a good job I was at a maternity unit - but I think home births must be wondeful. Good luck for your next, and I am sure after what happened last time you'll be plenty prepared to keep hydrated and enjoy the after-birth as you visualise it to be!

Youngwife I'm liking the sound of that CD already. I'm like you and not overly confident in myself after Harrison's birth either so I really do hope my attitude changes and I become more positive. I think once I meet with the consultant to discuss it all I will feel more prepared too. I think it is slightly more scary for us as we have had babies close together, but my midwife has reassured me that it should definately be possible to go for a VBAC if that's the route I want to take. It'll be good for us to keep in touch as we do the hypnotherapy and see how we get on!

 

[Pielette]

Funnily enough it was my hypno birthing practitioner who inspired me to have a home birth - she was pregnant too and gave birth about a month before me, and it was only as we were discussing her choices that I got thinking about it. I was nervous about talking to DH but he was open-minded and when we looked at all the research we felt we'd made the right decision. The best thing it all did for me was to take the fear out of it. I wasn't scared at all, just excited and couldn't wait to experience it. It's weird because I'd never had confidence in myself like that.

I'd really recommend the hypno birthing for giving you confidence and helping you to be positive. It did wonders for me!

 

[blessedmomma]

DH and i have talked about having a home birth. all of mine have been in the hospital so far. dont get me wrong, the hospitals where i live are amazing and i really love them. i have always been able to labor however i like. i have had some complications with some of my pregnancies/labors so i like already being there. i had a surgery on my cervix after my 4th baby that shortened it, so my 5th and 6th labors were very fast. 5th was a couple hours and 6th was 1 hr 9 mins. this is my main reason for considering a home birth if we are blessed again. i almost didnt make it to the hospital last time. when i got there my water before they got me in the room and i was 9cm the first time they checked me.

if i could have just stayed home it would have probably been a little less hectic than rushing to the hospital. the problem is our insurance doesnt cover midwives for a home birth so it would be completely unassisted.

 

[Skadi]

I would have loved a home birth but I guess that is just not in the cards for me. Before I gave birth I had also planned on going with a midwife rather than an obstetrician for my second. I guess that isn't happening either.

Feeling kind of down, we had a huge fight about a month ago and we haven't even DTD once since my last AF visit although things are smoothed over. I also go back to work in 2 months and haven't gotten daycare sorted.

 

[Spiffynoodles]

Skadi, sorry to hear about your fight, but I'm glad that its all sorted out now.

Also, I'm sorry you weren't able to have the birth you wanted, but Keira was just WAY to eager to meet you!

 

[blessedmomma]

skadi- i used to work outside my home up til i was 6 mos pregnant with #3. daycare was so hard choosing a good one, affording it, etc etc etc. i hope you find a nice one soon! whats up with DH????

 

[Harley Quinn]

Thanks for the intro to hypnobirthing, ladies. Some of the techniques sound similar to some things they taught us in our prenatal class. They just touched on things like relaxation techniques and different ways to breath. It was helpful for sure.

I'm not sure I could ever do a home birth. At least not while we're renting. This place is pretty small, and I wouldn't enjoy having such a small space to walk around in (I did MANY laps around the maternity ward in the early stages of labour!), plus our landlords and their kids live right upstairs. It just doesn't feel like our home, if you know what I mean. I like the idea of a home birth, but I'm not sure it would work for me in practice.

Skadi, so sorry your fight has interfered with TTC. Glad things are better now, and I wish you lots of luck on the daycare hunt.

Spiffy, I've posted one of my poems over in my journal if you'd like to read it. There's a link in my sig. (You all can read it if you want, didn't mean to sound like only Spiffy could read it... Ha!)

 

[Pielette]

Sorry to hear you guys have fought skadi I hated when we would have a cross word or two and then the last thing either of us would want to do is DTD, but you still want to conceive so badly. Glad it's sorted now, maybe you could have a date night?

Daycare seems to be a big problem. It's just so expensive, I can't believe what my friends are paying for it I know I'm very fortunate to be a SAHM for the foreseeable future.

I would feel the same about that too Harley. We now have a very definite deadline of when we need to get out of our flat, I really hope we find something soon

We're going to a concert tonight, to see Emeli Sande It's at the royal Albert hall in London. I'm very excited! My mum is looking after the monkey.

 

[Pezkin]

Skadi, sorry to hear about the fight with your OH. I hope everything smooths over soon - these things often do! Good luck with the child care as well, it's so daunting isn't it. I was quite late sorting Harrison's too. Book a few visits - you'll know which place will suit you all best when you see it

Pielette is right too - it is insanely expensive! Most of my wages go towards childcare, and I'm lucky as my OH has him a lot when he is on late shifts. I'll be a SAHM once number 2 arrives as we simply couldn't afford two to go in.

Enjoy your concert Pielette!

Our biggest news at the moment is - and get this - we have RATS in our house!!! At first I thought it was mice. Our cat found another home a few weeks ago (he wasn't a fan of Harrison, bless him) and over the last week we kept hearing gnawing under the stairs. Laid a few mouse traps but nothing. Then I found a half-eaten potato in the cupboard. Last night was the worst. The gnawing was loud in the kitchen, my OH went in while I stood at the top of the stairs listening out and the thing ran up the stairs and past me into the bathroom! I was so shocked I shouted out, woke Harrison who was then hysterical. We couldn't find the thing anywhere!

We've gone out and bought proper rat traps now - I feel horrible, I hate hate hate killing things but I just cannot risk having them around with Harrison here. We're calling the council to help us out tomorrow too. I can't believe this! Believe me we are not dirty people - the house is always clean, just a bit messy from Harrison's stuff, I just don't know what's attracted them here?! Next door have chickens and feed out a lot - maybe that? Ughhh!

 

[youngwife20]

Pielette that is amazing that you had a home birth for your first! I think I would have been far too worried about something going wrong - in fact it did, so in a way I guess it was a good job I was at a maternity unit - but I think home births must be wondeful. Good luck for your next, and I am sure after what happened last time you'll be plenty prepared to keep hydrated and enjoy the after-birth as you visualise it to be!

Youngwife I'm liking the sound of that CD already. I'm like you and not overly confident in myself after Harrison's birth either so I really do hope my attitude changes and I become more positive. I think once I meet with the consultant to discuss it all I will feel more prepared too. I think it is slightly more scary for us as we have had babies close together, but my midwife has reassured me that it should definately be possible to go for a VBAC if that's the route I want to take. It'll be good for us to keep in touch as we do the hypnotherapy and see how we get on!

i agree i am abit more worried with the whole close gap! its nice to hear vbac is possible though you hear ppl say about if u wait 2 yrs u have a better chance of vbac but then some ppl who wait 10 yrs dont get a vbac so it really does depend!! we need to be confident in our selves as women!! i really hope it works for you!!

 

[youngwife20]

Tonight.. is not a good night.. My mums just gone to meet up with my dad after being broken up for 3 years.. ( he physicicaly abused me and punished me my whole life. and mentaly abused my mum ( and hit her once when he was trying to hit me and she got in the way.. and financialy abused her.. anyway lifes been fine without him.. now shes lonely i gues and she said there only just meeting up. hes already been clingy and asking her were she is all hours of the day.. and he wants to meet me which i wont.. hes just a using asshole. she was ment to be seeing him yesturday but we had guest so i thought that was the end of it until she said " ok wish me luck im going" .. she asked me how i felt about it i said " exes are exes for a reason" and she said " does that mean i cant just meet him for a meal".. i said do what makes you happy shes going through alot.. kidney failure having dialysis 3 times a week etc.. i think she just wants something but i dont know what.. i gues because its been so long she only remembers the good him.. argh.

 

[ChezTunes]

Youngwife - That must be so hard for you. I really respect that you have let her decide that if it makes her happy, then go for it - even if you're not happy with the decision yourself. Sounds like she's been through a lot and as long as she knows that you are not happy to meet up with him, then what she does is her choice. It must be horrible that something that used to be so wrong could be just what she needs right now. I guess all she can do is let him have that "one more chance."

I do totally agree that exes are exes for a reason. Maybe she just needs a friend, a familiar face that she can lean on for the moment. You're an adult now, you have your own growing family, and I bet she's just feeling a little lonely. All you can do it be there for her.

Stick to your guns if you don't want to meet him. I'm sure she understands. The last thing you need right now is the stress and hurt from the past brought up. I hope that he has changed and that he doesn't cause any more hurt.

 

[ChezTunes]

Oh, Pez... Rats? I think I would be out of the house if we had that problem. It's one thing that really creeps me out! I cringe when I see them on "I'm A Celebrity..." I'm ok, if I can see them and know exactly where they are... but in the dark, or just hearing them... I couldn't cope!

The chicken feed does sound like a cause for concern tbh. DF's mum had a rat problem in her shed because of the dog food bowl outside. DF's brother had to re-home the dog when he moved in with his OH and there's not been a problem since.