Anyone watching this morning?

[meli1981]

Mellie1981 I didn't think u were judging at all but u did kinda jump on me before anything about cosleeping with Older children was said, but yeah it wasn't u who was name calling.

I love co sleeping and have done with both my boys, zane who's 3 sometimes comes into my bed and I used to sleep in my mums bed if I wasn't well way past the age of 6, I have no idea why but ur mums bed is always the most comfy bed in the world lol

I don't think co sleeping at ur Los age is weird but to me it's just odd, I don't mean that to be nasty there just isn't any other word I can use.
I couldn't imagine having Zane in my bed everynight, it would drive me insane and I couldn't imagine him even wanting to.
My boys sleep like me, all over the place so we need our space and I love having atleast 1 adult room even tho I still have bloody toys in there for some reason

i didnt mean to jumo at you, its just i have so many people in my life that are against co sleeping so i guess im a bit sensitive about it, my apologizes! it might be different if i had boys though, the thought of sleeping every night with my six year old son does sound odd! (not of course counting the sick nights etc) my daughter and i are like best friends so its like one big sleep over to us!

 

[moomin_troll]

Mellie1981 I didn't think u were judging at all but u did kinda jump on me before anything about cosleeping with Older children was said, but yeah it wasn't u who was name calling.

I love co sleeping and have done with both my boys, zane who's 3 sometimes comes into my bed and I used to sleep in my mums bed if I wasn't well way past the age of 6, I have no idea why but ur mums bed is always the most comfy bed in the world lol

I don't think co sleeping at ur Los age is weird but to me it's just odd, I don't mean that to be nasty there just isn't any other word I can use.
I couldn't imagine having Zane in my bed everynight, it would drive me insane and I couldn't imagine him even wanting to.
My boys sleep like me, all over the place so we need our space and I love having atleast 1 adult room even tho I still have bloody toys in there for some reason

i didnt mean to jumo at you, its just i have so many people in my life that are against co sleeping so i guess im a bit sensitive about it, my apologizes! it might be different if i had boys though, the thought of sleeping every night with my six year old son does sound odd! (not of course counting the sick nights etc) my daughter and i are like best friends so its like one big sleep over to us!

Maybe that's why it seems odd to me, because I have boys and it does sound "worse" if it was a 6 yr old boy with his mum, I'd be called alsorts lol

Although I am very close with both my boys, zanes always tellin me he loves me, gives me kisses and hugs all the time n he jumps in my bed or on the sofa wanting snuggle time.
Some girl in 20 yrs time is going to hate me

Don't worry about it, it's easy to get defensive with me n tell me where to go then it is to the ppl in ur life who judge u.
I've been thru too much for something on here to bother me

 

[meli1981]

Mellie1981 I didn't think u were judging at all but u did kinda jump on me before anything about cosleeping with Older children was said, but yeah it wasn't u who was name calling.

I love co sleeping and have done with both my boys, zane who's 3 sometimes comes into my bed and I used to sleep in my mums bed if I wasn't well way past the age of 6, I have no idea why but ur mums bed is always the most comfy bed in the world lol

I don't think co sleeping at ur Los age is weird but to me it's just odd, I don't mean that to be nasty there just isn't any other word I can use.
I couldn't imagine having Zane in my bed everynight, it would drive me insane and I couldn't imagine him even wanting to.
My boys sleep like me, all over the place so we need our space and I love having atleast 1 adult room even tho I still have bloody toys in there for some reason

i didnt mean to jumo at you, its just i have so many people in my life that are against co sleeping so i guess im a bit sensitive about it, my apologizes! it might be different if i had boys though, the thought of sleeping every night with my six year old son does sound odd! (not of course counting the sick nights etc) my daughter and i are like best friends so its like one big sleep over to us!

Maybe that's why it seems odd to me, because I have boys and it does sound "worse" if it was a 6 yr old boy with his mum, I'd be called alsorts lol

Although I am very close with both my boys, zanes always tellin me he loves me, gives me kisses and hugs all the time n he jumps in my bed or on the sofa wanting snuggle time.
Some girl in 20 yrs time is going to hate me

Don't worry about it, it's easy to get defensive with me n tell me where to go then it is to the ppl in ur life who judge u.
I've been thru too much for something on here to bother me

haha!

 

[summer rain]

I know one local authority up north where they will not rehouse a single mum with one child living in a one bedroom flat because according to their rules its acceptable for the mum to co-sleep until the age of 7; another case where someone may have to sleep in the same bed as their child out of necessity. xx

 

[midori1999]

I didt see the selfish part before so ile commen on that.
A child who's coslept with parents are not given a choice. It was first put on them by the parents and if they aren't told u can sleep here or there then that is just as selfish.
Like broken my room is the only baby free space I have for just afew hours in the day. I do everything for my children and put them first and yes if either want to come in my bed they are more then welcome.

If that makes me selfish then I guess I am if u can be called selfish for just one little thing

There you go again. Making assumptions about why older children co-sleep and suggesting it might be selfish of the parents who do.

How do you know the children aren't given a choice? Most people I know with older children also have a bedroom for them, but everyone just prefers to sleep together and why wouldn't they. Most babies aren't given a choice because they are moved out of their parents bed (or never allowed to sleep there) before they are old enought o make that decision themselves.

If people don't want to co-sleep, that's fine. If they do, at any age, then that is fine too. Neither is damaging to children, so why judge others because they do something different to our societal norm and start saying it's for the parents benefit? There's a lot of evidence that suggests co-sleeping is biological normal for our species beneficial to children and that is why the majority of parents who do it do so.

There I go again? It's u who bloody started calling people selfish
Pick at my posts all u want I really couldn't care less!
If u actually read the sentence in bold it says if they child wasn't given the option and their only bed was mums bed!

Whatever point ur trying to make is lost in babble!
I havent been mean or judged anyone

I apologise. I thought it was you who had said that co sleeping with older children was odd and having read back it wasn't you, it was someone who had quoted you.

Maybe I wasnt that clear in the way I posted, but I wasn't calling anyone selfish. I was posting in response to you and other posters asking if or saying co sleeping with an older child was for the mother's benefit, which to me, implies its selfish, in an attempt to point out that not co sleeping could be called selfish (or for the parents benefit) too.

As for having sex with an older child in the bed. Like I said, I wouldn't want to have sex with a baby in the bed, but I don't see anything wrong with it. In the same way, if an older child is asleep, unlikely to wake up and the parents are discreet in case the child does wake, then I don't see a problem with it. I expect a lot of parents have sex on holiday whilst children share hotel rooms and in the same room isn't that different to in the same bed.

 

[meli1981]

when my family was on vacation in may, i sent my daughter to the balcony attached to our room, and lo was in her crib, and my husband and i had sex. i just wanted to say we had sex in st. thomas!

 

[omfgski]

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[moomin_troll]

In my area a mum with one child won't be given two bed flat because the child can have the bedroom and mother can use the front room.
That's the reason they gave us when we needed help being evicted from a one bed flat, we had to move into my mums spare room

 

[omfgski]

.

 

[moomin_troll]

In my area a mum with one child won't be given two bed flat because the child can have the bedroom and mother can use the front room.
That's the reason they gave us when we needed help being evicted from a one bed flat, we had to move into my mums spare room

Aaaah, thank you! That helps it makes sense to me now, they must count the front room as the other bedroom when they calculate it. What a jip!

Yeah if u have more then one room obviously not counting the kitchen and bathroom ur screwed. And they don't count ur baby as a person till at least 6 months because of the bedroom sharing guidelines. But I do still no afew single mums who were given 2 bed flats, suppose it also counts on what they have n how far up the list u are

 

[lovie]

there was a recent study of swedish women said that a 3rd of women had had sex in the same bed as their baby.

i think the thing i would be worried about would be the baby being bounced of the bed! i dont think there is much difference between sex at 9 months pregnant and sex with a new born in the bed, the baby cant even see very far and wont understand what is happening.

we plan to use a side car cot and id be happy to have sex whilst the baby is in the cot (asleep) im not sure my oh will feel happy about that as he doesnt like touching my tummy when we are being intimate/sexual and im only 4 months pregnant, he cant keep his hands of my tummy the rest of the time but i think he has to block the baby out of his mind to be able to dtd now.

with older children i think its wrong, as soon as they can copy/ask questions i think its really really wrong, even if they are asleep in another bed in the room.

we have a really comfy sofa, so maybe that will be the best option

 

[Courtcourt]

when my family was on vacation in may, i sent my daughter to the balcony attached to our room, and lo was in her crib, and my husband and i had sex. i just wanted to say we had sex in st. thomas!

LOL

 

[holly2234]

Its not something i would do. My LO likes her own space anyway. She always has done and DH and I like our adult time. Sex with my child there just isnt right to me.

But i parent the way i like and theres nothing wrong with doing that We have a happy family and i dont think sex around my children is ever going to be something we want to do.

 

[sparkle_1979]

I think it's silly to say it's abuse.

If the baby is sleeping then it's fine IMO ( not that I have because to me it doesn't feel right ) but it's not creepy or abuse!

If a baby or toddler is awake, then yeah course that's not right x

 

[Mummy2B21]

I dont think its a problem if say tgr child was under 1 years of age but as tgey get older and more aware i can see the problem.

 

[suzib76]

I don't really understand the need tbh

I'm not saying its right or wrong, I don't really have a strong opinion either way, some of the comments mentioning abuse are just absurd

However for me, well us if dh is involved I just never felt the need to have sex in the prescence of any of my children - there is plenty time in the day to squeeze a bit of lovin in without having to do it while your kids are there

 

[charlotte-xo]

I co sleep but would never, ever, never do it in the same bed as Alfie that's what sofas are for it's not abuse no but it'd just be weird for me when you have the option of the floor or wherever there's just no need for it really. Xx

 

[fidgets mammy]

i never liked to dtd in my bedroom when my son shared with us. im not one who thinks the bed is for sex. the sofa is just as good ha ha.

id rather be in another room to my son, but when on holiday, we shared a room, we just ensured we were under covers and very subtle and qiuet.

the same bed?? dont think i could, wouldnt call it abuse tho. its hard;y as if she was saying her child was sitting up reading while they were at it!!