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Anyone who is ttc having trouble with their cycles due to previous bc use?

I have very mixed feelings, for many reasons. One being my previous miscarriage. I can't enjoy pregnancy properly, for fear that it will happen again. Then there is the fact that Coraline can't sleep without being in bed with me, how will that work with a new baby that would be born the month after she turns two? Then there is the fact that I had a third degree tear last birth, which took 3 to 4 months, just to ride comfortably in the car, and even longer before I could attempt sex. Also, that Coraline wasnt breathing the first 45 seconds of her life. We were terrified that i would die, then that she was going to.

Then the main reason is, the fact that my husband can't handle the unknown constant grumpy newborn crying. He always freaks out, and assumes the baby has something serious wrong, that will lead to death.

The second main reason is that Coraline has extreme separation anxiety, and stranger anxiety. It's so bad, that she won't even let people hold her, so I haven't been able to work. Which means, we are already down one income, and even worse, we don't qualify for government medical insurance, because my husband, "makes too much".

Reguardless of all those reasons, I could very well be pregnant, even though it's a long shot. I just can't shake the extreme egg white cm that I saw the day after we dtd. I now feel like I might want another, but not so soon. I'd like her to be a little older. If we are pregnant though, it's meant to be, because I never ovulate, and Coraline never randomly falls asleep in her bouncer so we have the opportunity for "alone time."

On another note-

I know what you are going through to some extent, but I couldn't imagine how hard it would be if that happened to me again whIle actively trying... Maybe I'm trying to protect myself by telling myself that we don't want another biological child. (I've tried to convince him to adopt a child that is 5, or older, in five to ten years.)
 
Well if it turns out you are pregnant I am sure everything will turn out ok. You will adjust because you won't have a choice. Shae had major separation anxiety until she was about 2 so I am sure Coraline will outgrow that. I also had a 3rd degree tear so it is a scary thought to have to go through that long healing process again, I feel you on that! When do you plan to test?

I found out a few days ago I am pregnant again. 4 weeks today and started my lovenox injections last night. It's a daily blood thinner injection in my stomach for my whole pregnancy. I tested negative for clotting disorders but my dr said just in case I have an issue that there isn't a test for he wants me to try it. It doesn't cross the placenta so it's the kind of thing that can't hurt might help. The shot burns and is not fun but I will do what I have to at this point. Praying this is finally my take home baby and I can put all of this behind me.
 
Hi ladies!
Rachel I hope this is your sticky bean. You said they did all sorts of tests with no explanation so I'm sure they tested your progesterone. That was most likely my issue when I miscarried before having Allyson.

We don't plan on anymore and I haven't had a period since Allyson was born (she will be a year on the 22nd). Cait turned 3 this past December. They have so much energy and I have NONE. Allyson still breastfeeds and cosleeps and I am always exhausted. I also am on medication for PPD which makes me dizzy and drowsy. Cait is potty trained now but still needs help in the bathroom which is great but exhausting as I have to get up from breastfeeding or stop what I am doing to help her. Cait quit napping at age 2 and Allyson has never been a good napper.

Michelle, I can't believe Coraline is already 17 mos! Time flies like crazy. I do hope that if you are pregnant again that everything goes well. I know it is hard after miscarriages. I had a hard enough time with Cait, just afraid of everything that I knew COULD happen. Then with Allyson I had just had the MC which made me worry the entire time. And yes, I worried constantly when they were newborns and to be honest, I still worry a lot. I don't think I could handle another with the depression and chasing the other two, not to mention the stress and worry of being pregnant and having a new baby. But if it happens accidentally I will have to make it work.

So nice to catch up with you both and I hope everything turns out great for both of you!
 
Rachel, that's exciting. Fingers crossed, I'm wishing, and praying for a healthy pregnancy for you!

I don't know if I'm going to test. Probably not, unless I get obvious symptoms. I still nurse Coraline, and my right nipple is so very very painful when she nurses. That's the only out of the ordinary thing I've noticed.
 
Sorry to hear about the ppd. But good thing you got it under control. Can't believe Allyson is almost 1. Wow that went fast!

I have been on progesterone supplements for all of my pregnancies so we have that part taken care of. No idea what's causing my losses. I can't believe this is pregnancy #5 for me.
 
I can't believe all of our kids are so "old". To think, it seemed like just yesterday when we were all hoping for our very first child.
 
I am nervous about having another with Coraline being this young. She cosleeps, and nurses still, and I have no idea how that would evolve with a new baby needing so much attention. 10 days past when I saw ewcm, so you'd think there would be signs. I'm going to assume I'm not.
 
You would adjust because you would have to. If it happens it will turn out ok :) how's everything going? Have you tested or are you just waiting it out?
 
You would adjust because you would have to. If it happens it will turn out ok :) how's everything going? Have you tested or are you just waiting it out?

Definitely waiting! I figure I would get definite signs in a week, or two... I don't want to see another negative pregnancy test, but I'm afraid to see a positive one. I'm just terrified of going through a pregnancy worried about all the things that could go wrong. You are brave, I wish I was. The more I think about it, I kind of hope I am which is why I don't want a negative test to bum me out. I want another, but don't think my dh and his stress/anxiety can handle it.
 
You would adjust because you would have to. If it happens it will turn out ok :) how's everything going? Have you tested or are you just waiting it out?

Definitely waiting! I figure I would get definite signs in a week, or two... I don't want to see another negative pregnancy test, but I'm afraid to see a positive one. I'm just terrified of going through a pregnancy worried about all the things that could go wrong. You are brave, I wish I was. The more I think about it, I kind of hope I am which is why I don't want a negative test to bum me out. I want another, but don't think my dh and his stress/anxiety can handle it.

Does your dh say he wants another one at some point?

It is very stressful being pregnant again and as my first ultrasound approaches I will be a complete mess since that's when I learned about all my losses. Never had any signs anything was wrong until the ultrasound showed no heartbeat. I want another one bad enough that I'm willing to deal with it and hope for the best.
 
I know how you feel about wanting a cold so bad that none of the stress matters, that's how I felt with Coraline. Dh says he doesn't want another. I keep telling him that even though he thinks I'm never going to ovulate on my own, that he still needs to realise it could happen.
 

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