April Mummies 2011

[gertrude]

Good to hear from you Gem! Sounds like youre doing alright at the mo.... excellent news with the driving styff. Youre sooo lucky! Im 30 and still cant afford the money or time for lessons haha

Ive got the hump a bit. Ive forgotteb what its like to be bored and I dont mean that in a good way. I havent stopped all month and today was meant to be my day of NOTHING. Th children are with family for a couple of hours and dh was meant to be helping his sister move furniture... only hes faked a car breakdown so he doesnt have to do it and is now at home on a mission to "gey shit done"
In other words hes sent me upstairs with a shitload of stuff to tidy and clean and just... whatever he wants really. Then hes invited his fam (along with the children I've sent away for the day) round for lunch. Arghhhhh.
I had a lovely day planned of doctor who, blogging, munching toffee popcorn in my pjs... and now im dressed and doing housework.
I NEED ALONE TIME SO SO SO MUCH.

Get up, get dressed, say you have this day organised so that you had a break. Get your keys and go out. Go anywhere that you're on your own.

 

[DanaBump]

^^ what she said though i'm sure you won't (though I don't understand why not).

I sort of figured when you said on FB you were going to have the whole day to yourself, that would change. I'm not a fan of that husband of yours. I'm sending you strength so that one day you'll get what YOU want/need so badly.

 

[CottlestonPie]

Thanks guys. I didn't go out. The whole point was that I needed/wanted a lazy day. No kids, no nursery run, no housework, no getting dressed if I didn't want to. So going out just wasn't on my agenda today. Rest when I'm dead I guess?

 

[JakesMummy]

That is shit Katherine. Although in a sad way, doesn't surprise me. I wish I could just turn up and bundle you into the car, and bring you to mine for a day of peace!!

 

[caro103]

Arrrrr I feel so frustrated for you Katherine! Totally get why you didn't want to go out but omg why can you husnand not see you didn't want the kids back when you actually had someone else to look after them!?! I know you love him but he frustrates me so much!!

I've had a day sorting stuff out ready to go back to work, sob, sob, back on Tuesday

 

[gertrude]

So ladies, can I join with the "my OH is an idiot" please? It was my viability scan this morning, and I've been so nervous I've been quite poorly. Only he hasn't mentioned it. He's gone away with work until Thurs (when I meet the consultant and have the dating scan) and he's not mentioned it. I'm ignoring him. If he hasn't asked me how it went by the time I go to bed I shall send one of my tailored vile emails. Fucking idiot.

Anyway, scan went fine, there is only 1 in there, saw the heartbeat and she estimated around 9w6days, which is 4 days earlier than I thought (I had 10 weeks on saturday) but given I'm not entirely sure how I ended up pregnant I know my dates mean nothing

So see the consultant on Thursday and book the CVS then. No idea when it'll be though just depends on her diary. I saw the bereavement midwife and because my OH is away she said she would come to my scans with me - she is so lovely. I cried at her again this morning.

Anyway, step 1 complete, we know it's a viable baby at the moment. So just to get to Thursday and plan the next steps with the consultant, and confirm dates with the scan and we're getting somewhere.

Christ this is fucking horrible though It was so exciting to see the little flump, squishing their nose with their hand. But I don't want to be excited I can't afford to be attached

Bah

Katherine - Can I tell your husband he should take better care of you? I'm in the mood for some confrontation now! I have excess adrenaline from nerves that I have no use for!

 

[Lilly12]

Katherine , you need to stand up for yourself, because I don't think your DH will change the way he talks to you and treats you unless you change the way you talk to you and the way you treat you. Have some self respect and don't let this fool run over you so much !!
I don't mean to sound so harsh but I just wish you would stand up for yourself, you deserve it, you deserve a loving husband who treats you like a queen!

Gertrude. So glad baby is viable and you got to see baby and see the heartbeat! Good luck on Thursday.

Update on us:
Can't believe Layla will be a month old tomorrow!! Time is going by too fast.
She's such a huge baby compared to Aleena , it's crazy. She's about 10lb5oz now and 23 inch (she was born 20inch) so grew 3 inch in a month and gained 1 lb 11 oz since her lowest weight on day 3.
Aleena is finally out of diapers during the day (& at night she doesn't pee but I put on a pull up just for me so if she does pee it's ok) we haven't been out in months so I'm not sure how she will do while going out.
(Too hot to go outside with a newborn as humidity is super high and it's close to 100 degrees every day)
Aleena loooooves her sister, I'm SO happy we decided to give her a sibling, it really was the greatest gift we could have ever given her. Her face lights up when she sees Layla, it's the sweetest thing

 

[RiRi]

Aww Gertrude. Boo your husband!
Glad scan went ok and baby is viable. That's so nice of your bereavement midwife! Fingers crossed for the next steps of your journey! Xxx

 

[CottlestonPie]

Gertrude im so sorry your dh hasnt mentioned it. Maybe hes terrified to face whats goinf on until he knows the results. Thats no excuse for not being supportive though

Naima, a month already?! Thats flown by! So lovely to hear the girls adore each other

Dh just pulled the "get a job" on me... so gertrude... feel free haha

 

[DanaBump]

oh man, KJ my husband USED to regularly pull the "you don't know what it's like" BS on me (lets remember he just graduated in may, how quickly he forgets). Note I say USED to. that's because I finally told him and got through just how much it hurts me when he says this. I work. I work hard. You know this times 3. As much as I would love to buy a ticket over there just to tell him off, I don't think it would do any good unless it comes from you on a consistent basis. I agree that you deserve better, I've always thought that. I'm waiting for you to believe it too. Do you feel like you deserve to be treated the way he regularly treats you? Are you actually okay with his behavior? Why don't you stand up for yourself? I feel like we've all told you until we're blue in the face, but I'm not sure you believe it.

Gert- I'm sorry your husband didn't say anything, perhaps he doesn't want to admit there's a baby until he knows she can be born? I know with Abby after the loss I was numb the entire pregnancy just waiting for the other shoe to drop. DH was the same, not really wanting to touch my belly or bond with her. I feel like we were robbed of the joy that a normal pregnancy brings a couple because of the loss, and we lost early compared to you. Try to talk to him without anger first. If he says he just forgot, feel free to let loose

That's all I got. Abby still has 0 interest in being potty trained, though soon it'll be "i lost all the diapers" and she'll have no choice. I'm not quite there yet though TBH. Let me have my 'baby' for a little while longer...

 

[CottlestonPie]

Its hard. I mean... deep down I know I should bite back. Buried in me somewhere is the belief that I dont need to take shit from anyone. Thing is, I'm a walking cliche. I got daddy issues that make me suppress my self-worth and believe that I get what I deserve.
Ironically the only thing that gets my confidence up is feeling good in pretty dresses and showing them off... and wanting a new dress is why ive been told to get a job. If only I could I'd feel (or he'd feel) like we are more equal.

Sorry ladies. I know you all tell me over and over to fight my corner but I just really dont know how without a horrendous backlash and being made to feel even worse.

 

[gertrude]

He's forgiven, he rang after lunch to ask how it went no murder here tonight

Katherine it is hard, I don't think any of us think otherwise, but something has to change because it hurts you and it's not OK to hurt someone repeatedly that you say you love.

Can you talk to him or does he not listen? Can you go to counselling together because someone needs to get him to listen x

 

[caro103]

fab news Gertrude and glad DH finally asked and isn't going in the ground!

Katherine what about writing it down? writing it down, then leaving him to it for 1 weekend, both days and both nights, then let him tell you to go get a job? My DH really wants me to work, probably for similar reasons to how yours does, make us more equal, however our salaries are worlds apart and I could never earn what he does, pretty much on a daily basis I remind him exactly what I did today as otherwise he generally just doesn't notice all the little things that need doing and keeping on top of otherwise the place falls apart and bring up being a sahm at some point. Maybe start small if going for the kill feels to big? somehow he needs to understand its no picnic being at home all the time and just because you buy the odd dress every now and then does not mean you should get a paid job. Oh and maybe tot up the cost of childcare for 3 kiddos whilst you work!?

 

[DanaBump]

that's the definition of an abuser KJ, someone who turns his abuse around and makes it your fault. if memory serves he does this frequently. While i understand your issues from growing up, you're adult enough to know that it's now a choice. If you think your 3 boys won't pick up on how daddy treats mommy and won't continue that cycle to their own marriages, you're wrong.

 

[gertrude]

Sorry ladies I've come to do nothing but moan.

It seems pickle has worms. I know it's nothing unusual for little ones but it's totally spooked me. Just like it did when I read about rotavirus. I mean, how is the human species still alive? There's bugs everywhere!!!

I know it's a sign of my anxiety being so high that I'm so spooked but it's making me really anxious Pickle has taken the tablet this morning, my OH hasn't as the pharmacist said not to bother unless there are symptoms (and as long as we follow the hygiene procedure). I of course can't take anything.

I also have thrush, I've had it about 5 weeks and I just assumed it would go away but it's not. And that's getting me down too. And I had a terrible bout of exploding bum last weekend then a bout of constipation so my piles are sore (never went away after I had them so bad a few years ago and it doesn't take much to flare them up again). Only now I don't know if it's worm symptoms (though it doesn't match, the thrush itch is there all the time (though only externally) and the piles ache relates directly to when I've been to the loo but I'm still anxious). I'm going to try to see my Dr but I don't know when I can do that. My work diary is just mental.

Again I know it's anxiety but that doesn't help. Nor does it help that all of the medicines I know work for me for thrush and piles I can't have now I'm pregnant. And it's making me cry. Add in all the extra housework to do to wash everything and keep on top of cleaning, whilst my OH goes away with work again Wed - Sun I just burst out crying earlier

I have my 12 week scan on Thursday (@ 11 weeks). I had one last week and met the consultant too. Am waiting for the CVS date to come through (had hoped I might hear on Friday but no such luck). I have so much on at work I feel daunted by it. I've dropped the ball with my budgeting even though it was going so well.

I don't know what to do. It's all got too much again. I've come into work to do some more writing for my phd and I need to get that started but I couldn't until I offloaded all this lot somewhere. My OH is at home with pickle hoovering the whole of the house and washing the hard floors. He's taken over the washing machine duty. I can't complain of him or pickle in the slightest. I know it's not them, it's me. I'm so fucking scared and anxious typing this is making me both cry and start to panic

I fucking HATE waiting. I know the CVS will be in the next 2 weeks. Why can't I know when NOW?

 

[RiRi]

Oh Gertrude. Big hugs. I'm sure you can get things for thrush when your pregnant. I am with u on the piles front so irriating!

I've my 12 week scan on Friday. Glad your scan and consultant appointment went well and hope they don't make u wait to much long we for your cvs date xxx

 

[CottlestonPie]

Oh Gertrude Can you not use canesten during pregnancy?
Sorry youre having a hard time sweet... I hope these 2 weeks go as fast as humanly possible xx

Afm ive got the hump. Again. Dhs mum this time, wont bore you. Just. Argh.

 

[gertrude]

yeah I can use canestan but because I'm duffed up most pharmacists say see the GP to confirm. And cos I'm unsure if it's that or worms (*cries*) I know I need to see her. I need to see her about the piles too.

And actually I think I need to see her about my anxiety and just general shitness. 3 weeks. I will know where I stand in 3 weeks. How I get from now to then I have absolutely no idea.

cottles - moan away, we can distract each other!

 

[DanaBump]

i'm sorry ladies, i don't understand anyone's posts, lol.

KJ- the hump?

Gertrude- duffed up? piles? worms??? i've never heard of kids having worms???!!!

Hugs to all that need

we had a FABULOUS weekend. Had proper makeup on thursday night, so friday started off great. loved spending time with all my family at the lake house all weekend (sister and BIL came up from chicago). Had nieces bday on saturday, and went to the campground i spent the majority of my childhood at. I had lots of fun, let down walls I never thought of letting down, just fabulous. Saw fireworks on Friday night as well, which Abby just adored! Can't wait for next year and sparklers, etc. Really sad it's all come to an end, can't wait until august when they come back up and we can all be together again for my sister's bday.
My mom was going to donate one of my paternal gma's jewlery boxes filled with costume jewlery, so i decided to take it instead and have abby play with. It smells just like her. She passed away 5 years ago, and I hadn't seen her before the day she passed for about 3 years if i remember right. I want to cuddle up in bed and smell it all night. In tears again...crap! I'm just so thankful I can smell her again, though.

 

[gertrude]

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Threadworms/Pages/Introduction.aspx these dana very VERY common

duffed up = pregnant (up the duff)
piles = haemorrhoids, grapes of wrath, dangleberries
the hump = in a mood