April Mummies 2011

[DanaBump]

Things are not ok, I hurt so fucking much. Uncontrollable tears because I don't know what else to do. I hoped sleeping would put some things in perspective and I just can't make sense of it all. I feel betrayed and used. I've started pushing ppl away as I do when I'm hurt and it's not fair. Nick always gets the brunt end of my frustration no matter how hard I try. God this is so fucked up! When I calm down I'll try to let everyone know what's going on but fuck it feels south like a god damn dream.

 

[MissFox]

I'm here if you need to talk Dana.

Cottles- awesome the boys went down easy! Hope you managed to get some sleep!
I stayed home with the girls yesterday. They were both sick but rosie has a fever. Wednesday my insurance company called and they decided to total my vehicle. I'm actually ok with it once I heard how much they were giving me for it I get to pay off my truck and have 2000+ to put down on our cheaper vehicle. I'm hoping to get payments lower by about 100/mo. More would be better but unlikely. I've found a few 09-11 vehicles for between 10-15k that have third row seating and get over 22mpg on the hwy. but they are out of the area. I'm going to go talk to my credit union tomorrow and pay off the truck then see about another loan through them.

 

[RiRi]

Hugs Dana.

Go Katherine!

 

[CottlestonPie]

Dana we are all here for you. No matter what. If you want to vent or talk or just fkn ARFGGHHHH or anything... we're right here xx

 

[caro103]

yep we're all here for you Dana xx

Sam, that's good they're paying out well, hope you find something that suits and the girls feel better soon xx

 

[DanaBump]

i can't even muster the whatever to type the crazy that's been these last two days...i know you guys are here when i can finally stand to say it out loud.

 

[MissFox]

 

[DanaBump]

i've gone to type this at least 3 times and each time i can't seem to get the words right. but, it needs to be out so, here goes.

I have a new niece. My brother and sil had her unexpectedly at 35 weeks thursday morning. Now the kicker. Anyone care to guess when I found out they were even having a baby? Thursday night. that's right. up until thursday night i had no idea my SIL was even pregnant. and apparently my brother forgot i had classes because he left the news on my voicemail (not like at this point that matters).

I don't even know what else to say. I'm so hurt and betrayed. My brother and I have a normal relationship I would say. We aren't super close, but we aren't estranged. He's not a trashy guy either having babies with random women, this is his wife. the only person he's every had a baby with (this being his second with her). I don't understand why none of us were told. My parents found out Thursday morning. The extra kicker? Our sister knew this whole time as well. Another completely normal relationship, successful, educated person. We're not dealing with any extenuating circumstances, we're a normal traditional family. there's so much other crap going on, i feel so badly. it's a giant shit show. i shouldn't really get into it, but a baby we didn't know about is only the beginning.

So, let me be the first to introduce my newest niece, Kylee Jo. I love her so

 

[MissFox]

They didn't tell anyone?!! I'm sorry. That is crazy!

 

[DanaBump]

SIL's family had to have known because she's been living at her mom's (bro and SIL are going thru a mess in their marriage since end of august) and it's hard to hide her belly since she's so small, her belly can't be hidden. we haven't seen her since beginning of aug and my bro lied to all of us. my sister and her are in contact frequently so sil told her too. extra betrayal from sister because she's said nothing this whole time either.

it's a shit show. i'm hurt, but Kaylee helps a lot.

 

[MissFox]

I couldn't even imagine! I wanted to hide this pregnancy for a while but I couldnt. I couldn't imagine going the whole time and not telling people I'm close to until I delivered. So much hurt for everyone. I'm sorry.

 

[RiRi]

Oh that's awful Dana but she is a little cutie xx

 

[CottlestonPie]

Dana wtf... thats unbelievable. So sorry xx She looks like a right cutie though... hopefully you guys are still talking and there arent issues preventing you visiting your niece.

I'm getting overwhelmed with stuff again. Seems so trivial after everything elses problems but its like...we moved away from london for a better life for the kids. Husband worked til 7pm and never saw the kids so he left work to spend more time with the kids and beame self employed, almost instantly started a second company and now works til 7pm and doesn't see the kids. Just sits upstairs doing paperwork all day. We dont talk at night because hes doing too much and is mentally exhausted. Im so fkn lonely, the kids are driving me nuts and hes gonna burn himself out.

I know hes doing it for us, to make money and whatnot. So i cant mention to him how bad i feel. It just seems insane tat he left his previous job because it was eating his fsmily time and now hes willingly passing up family time to do this stuff. Weeks ago I booked us tickets to a space type event. We've been so excited about it and now hes cancelled it and i cant get there with toby because i dont drive and buses are impossible since we've moved. muhhh

 

[caro103]

oh blimey Dana, how crazy they hid that. She is gorgeous though. What a very weird thing to hide though, I'd sort of get it if for some reason people would be shocked about her being pregnant but doesn't sound like that's the case at all.

Katherine, no advice but I can sympathise, my DH works stupidly long hours too, rarely home before 8pm. Sees the boys for about 45mins in the morning whilst he's also getting ready for work. I find its crucial I arrange play dates with friends and I also work which is my social contact each week to be me not mummy. xx

 

[DanaBump]

she was pregnant and into her 2nd trimester before they split, so no reason to have hidden it. but he hid the fact she left end of aug until oct for my parents and well after thanksgiving to me (though i already knew). my brother has been very weird these last few months. the added bonus was having my sister know and her not telling anyone either. it just all hurts so badly. She and her husband came up for the day to see the baby and will be stopping later to visit abby. How i will manage without strangling her neck is beyond me. at least when i saw my brother i had a sweet baby to hold.

 

[DanaBump]

she is so sweet, and i'm longing for another baby now hard core. However, I also just got the email asking for my application to my major so I have that too. those 2 don't mix. brother was saying i can babysit, so guess i'll be driving up there a lot this next year

brother already said visitation isn't going to be an issue. we're all trying to talk to him and get sil and the kiddos back home. they have a remodeled basement brother can live in and sil and the kids can live up. that way he can help and they're working their crap out together, instead of her family so involved. my heart hurts for them all.

better get to homework, i haven't done a thing since thursday night with all the "excitement".

 

[RiRi]

I too have a husband who I never see as we work opposite shifts to for childcare obv different now I'm on mat leave.

I found occupying myself with friends and groups helped me as i had adult conversation and poppy would play etc

 

[CottlestonPie]

HE HASNT STOPPED WHINING IN OVER A WEEK I AM GOING INSANE OHMYGOD. I just slapped a wall repeatedly out of frustration. I'm too chicken to full on punch it.

Hes now downstairs singing to himself. I swear this kid has split personality.

Taking him to softplay tomorrow to meet his nursery friends. Huge deal for me because of my social anxiety but at the same time i cant stay indoors with him.

Now hes having a meltdown again. See? Split personality.

Urghhhh. Sigh.

 

[DanaBump]

I'm on an emotional roller coaster. I have been since thursday, but since i met the kiddo on friday and went back on saturday, i thought i was getting better. then there's today. i just don't understand what i did to deserve this. i don't know my limits anymore, i don't know what i can say or do. i'm just so hurt.

 

[SazzleR]

Wow! Just had a monster catch up session. Not managed to get on since end of Jan. I have kept up with things on FB as I've flicked through on there. But life is ridiculously manic now I'm back at work. I literally don't sit down

Not coping all that well tbh. Life feels like a treadmill. Like I'm constantly planning or organising the next thing. Just getting through everything but not really enjoying anything. Please tell that those of you with 2 & jobs or school, also feel like this?? My mum thinks I should go to the docs but I really don't want to end up on meds when I'm so nearly at my target weight for the first time since being pregnant with Rex cos I know they'll make me pile weight back on

Dana, that is a veeeeery weird family situation. How could she hide that?! But glad you're getting lots of newborn snuggles in.

Gem, congrats on the uni place! Go for it!! Uni was the best 3 years for me Hope you're feeling better by now.

Ashleigh, hope you find some mummy friends soon It's so hard being in a new place. It was hard enough for me without kids.

Gutted you didn't get your night off, Katherine Christ knows you bloody deserve it!! Hope you've rearranged.

It's so strange hearing everyone talk about nappies at night. Rex has been dry at night since he was about 2.5 (potty trained at 27 months). I guess I was really lucky with him. But we all know he's a devil sleeper so he sleeps light enough to wake up to go to the loo.

I really need to start organising the boys' bday party. They're having a joint one at FIL's church hall, a couple of days before Rex's bday. Only booked the hall so far Want a bouncy castle for the older ones with some soft play stuff for the LOs. Doing packed lunches to make catering easy & 'fill your own' party bags from big sweety jars. But I've only bought the jars so far. Need to get a move on! And present-wise, Rex has one thing.. A Lego set bargain from the sales. But that's it He mentioned having a 'bike with pedals like Darcy' (CM's 6 yr old!) so need to look into that for him. When can they manage without stabilisers?? I have no idea!! Poor Leo has nothing yet but thinking of Happy Land stuff for him. Rex only had the odd little bit & it's stood the test of time so hoping Leo might be similar.