April Munchkins 2013- enjoying our wonderful babies!

[stmw]

I didnt know you could have a blood test to determine gender? How does that work I wonder? Exciting though!! xxx

 

[MollyMalone]

I didnt know you could have a blood test to determine gender? How does that work I wonder? Exciting though!! xxx

I dont think its available in evey country because of the ethical issues it raises. In some countries like in India and China people would probably get it done jus to make sure they dont have girls. There is some info on the net.

Over here, in Spain, is called detesex (it has different names in different countries) and I think what they do is look at the chromosomes or something. When we are pregnant we get baby's DNA on our bloodstream, the quantity increases with time, so to be completely sure they recommend doin it from week 8, but its more accurate from 9 onwards. If the find any fragments with a Y chromosome its gonna be a boy, if they don't there its a girls. Its nearly 100% accurate. If the lab isnt sure for whatever reason they repeat the test before letting you know.
The only thing is its not realiable with multiples or after a miscarriage. A few months have to have past so your system is "clean" again.

 

[stmw]

Thats understandable about not offering it in every country!

Thats amazing though - didnt even know it could be done!! xxxxx

 

[doggylover]

We had lunch with my parents yesterday and my mom dropped quite the bomb yesterday: she wants to move in with us after the LO is born... EEEEK! I'm glad DH didn't hear her saying this. I told her she is welcome to come and help around during working hours (9-5) and in particular to help around the house, bring us lunch, do dishes etc. But there is no way it is convenient for anyone to live in. What about am feedings, she asked. And I answered, what are you going to do in the am? Milk me like a cow? I'm going to BF so there is no way you can help with the baby. You can help me, but there is no need to help with the baby in the early days. When it is a little older she can babysit all she likes.

Notes: she was appalled on the words BF (she didn't BF me or my sis) and she was disapointed that she is not allowed to play mommy on my expense.
.

Oh my gosh I would die if this happened!!! I cannot believe she wants to move in! You guys need time as a family, and this is YOUR baby. Also, i actualy lol when you said "milk me like a cow". So funny!!!

Obviously all help is appreciated, but there is a line!!!

When our in laws come over the first time (they live in another country) I am considering asking them to stay elsewhere, as I feel like having them in the house 24/7 would be too much for me when I am just getting used to my baby!

 

[kealz194]

Well had the worst night ever last night! My lo is one poorly little girl, has come down with a very bad cold and it's making her vomit a lot so she is seriously clingy, can't breathe properly and vomited all over my bed so at like 1am I'm trying to sort that out ( with violent ms might I add) as my hair brained partner just stares like that's gonna help... Let's just say I sounded like a women with torrets last night the amount of cursing that came outta my mouth aimed at him... No common sense I tell you! As for the mother/ in law interfering, something I regularly get annoyed with! It gets worse as the children get older too and you try to set boundaries in place and they come along and just ignore you! I went on holiday with my parents, my dad isn't so bad, but my mum and me fell out a few times about it! You just need to set boundaries with them about what you need them not to do! My mil is a whole different kettle of fish! But I get myself stressed thinking or talking about her so I will leave it there lol! X

 

[ReadytoMum]

We had lunch with my parents yesterday and my mom dropped quite the bomb yesterday: she wants to move in with us after the LO is born... EEEEK! I'm glad DH didn't hear her saying this. I told her she is welcome to come and help around during working hours (9-5) and in particular to help around the house, bring us lunch, do dishes etc. But there is no way it is convenient for anyone to live in. What about am feedings, she asked. And I answered, what are you going to do in the am? Milk me like a cow? I'm going to BF so there is no way you can help with the baby. You can help me, but there is no need to help with the baby in the early days. When it is a little older she can babysit all she likes.

Notes: she was appalled on the words BF (she didn't BF me or my sis) and she was disapointed that she is not allowed to play mommy on my expense.
.

Oh my gosh I would die if this happened!!! I cannot believe she wants to move in! You guys need time as a family, and this is YOUR baby. Also, i actualy lol when you said "milk me like a cow". So funny!!!

Obviously all help is appreciated, but there is a line!!!

When our in laws come over the first time (they live in another country) I am considering asking them to stay elsewhere, as I feel like having them in the house 24/7 would be too much for me when I am just getting used to my baby!

Oh wow! Move in with you!? That would never fly with us... largely because we live in an apartment and there's literally no room... not to mention it would just never be allowed to happen!

DH and I have already talked a little bit about privacy requirements once LO is born. He's going to be the privacy inforcer so I don't have to sound like the crazy pregnant lady. We've decided that the first week after we get out of the hospital-there will be no visitors. I know there will be people at the hospital in the waiting room, but once we leave, it's us time. We want a week to get used to being parents, to bond with our LO, and to recouperate a little bit. After that our parents, one set at a time, can come and visit for a week at max, and they can't stay here because there's no where to host them. We're super excited to make our parents grandparents, but we want to be very intentional about setting boundaries from the get-go so no one's feelings end up hurt later.

And after that first week and after the parents start visiting, we want to be very intentional about when friends etc. come to visit. They need to call ahead of time--not just show up. My sister lives just around the corner from us, so I think it will actually be the hardest to inforce the rules on her more than anyone...! She's pretty good with our friends who have babies though, so I know she'll be more than happy to come over if asked to help out with something.

I think maintaing so privacy is very important... and that couldn't happen if you had someone move in with you!

 

[LittleSpy]

We had lunch with my parents yesterday and my mom dropped quite the bomb yesterday: she wants to move in with us after the LO is born... EEEEK! I'm glad DH didn't hear her saying this. I told her she is welcome to come and help around during working hours (9-5) and in particular to help around the house, bring us lunch, do dishes etc. But there is no way it is convenient for anyone to live in. What about am feedings, she asked. And I answered, what are you going to do in the am? Milk me like a cow? I'm going to BF so there is no way you can help with the baby. You can help me, but there is no need to help with the baby in the early days. When it is a little older she can babysit all she likes.

Notes: she was appalled on the words BF (she didn't BF me or my sis) and she was disapointed that she is not allowed to play mommy on my expense.

Those with kids how do you prevent those too eager to parent your babies for you without your consent? I know it is going to be a toughy for me and my mom. She doesn't really want to help me, she just wants to play with the baby all day, while I do the housecleaning.

Oh. I feel for you. My mom was/is extremely overeager. She essentially ruined coming home and the first few days with my baby for me. The last straw for me was our 3rd day home (when she was still at my house....). Dd was losing too much weight (I had supply issues) and had jaundice. We had just been to the doctor (again... we took her every day for the first 4 days home by doctor's orders). We were told we were getting a bilibed so she could have light-therapy for her jaundice at home. The bilibed was delivered like 5 minutes after we got home from the doctor so I was going to put her in it. My mom exclaimed (EXCLAIMED) that she had to be the one to carry dd into the nursery because she "hadn't gotten to hold her aaaallllllll daaaayyyyyy." It was 10-effing-o'clock in the morning. There was so much drama between her and MIL and hubby and UGH. I don't want ANYONE at my house when we come home from the hospital this time. PERIOD. My mom has offered to keep Maisie while we're in the hospital (and that's her way of getting in on it. It wasn't an altruistic offer. Plus, she essentially interrupted me telling her I was pregnant to jump in and offer to do it -- as if someone else was listening in on the conversation and was about to offer the same thing. DIBS!). I think we may let her keep her during the day but hubby will go home over night. Then when I'm to come home, my mom can have food ready for us or something but she needs to leave after a couple hours. I don't want her staying the night that night. She claims she wants to help me, but that's not how it has ever happened. By "helping" me, she wants to hold my baby while I clean/cook/sleep. That's not helping me. She cooked 2 meals during her 4 night stay last time. And it was in the middle of July when it was 110*F outside and she had my oven and all the burners on my stove (both gas) blazing. It was 90 degrees in my house. Miserable. This time we'll be ordering take out for dinner and I'll have meals frozen for lunch. She claimed to have spent the whole day I was in labor cleaning my entire house but... I cleaned the entire house before we went to the hospital so... not really sure what she did there. I'm really bitter about the whole experience. I want a babymoon this time. Just our little family for at least 2 weeks. And that's what I'll get. It's what I wanted last time, too. I compromised way too much last time and I regret every second of it. So that's my advice -- do what YOU want to do. Don't compromise.

My mom knows how to play me. As soon as I set a boundary, she immediately cries and whines about what I'm "doing" to her. I asked her to call me and speak with me at least a day before she comes to my house (she lives 100 miles away) after she showed up unexpectedly one day when dd was 3 months old or so and stayed all. freaking. day. She pouted about that for months. When I told her we weren't sharing baby's gender this time, she immediately told me I can't "do that" to her. That's when I said, "Mom... did it ever occur to you this isn't about you? At all?" She didn't respond. I think she thinks I'll be sharing the gender with just her. She's delusional. She can cry all she wants. And the more she pouts about it, the less I want to share with her! I've already vowed to Maisie I will NEVER be like my mother.

 

[ukgirl23]

kealz- you sound exactly like me! I had to laugh at your post, because I am exactly the same with my OH, he has no common sense either. His job is to clean the bathroom at the moment, he cleaned the toilet and the sink but left the bath!!! Then he thought he had ''earned'' the right to play FIFA!!! can you imagine!?! such a douche! lol

lily - Its good that you set your mum straight, my ex MIL was over bearing and wouldn't let me breast feed my daughter, she said my daughter was too fat, even though the midwife said she was on the right centinile for her age, every time we went there she refused to let my daughter feed and stuffed a dummy in her mouth in stead my milk dried up from the stress and lack of feeds and I regret so badly not telling her how I really felt about it. But I was young and didn't want her to hate me so I let her carry on. I think that people can mean well but babies mummy knows best and that sometimes part of being a good mum is telling the rest of the world where to shove their ''help'' lol.

My brother is super close to me, we went through some stuff together as kids so he is the only one ever allowed to turn up without asking first. My dad generally does too but if he knows I'm tired he will usually ask me first. But yeh I'm like you readytomum most people aren't allowed to just turn up so soon after. I like a few days of me and baby to ourselves too, so we usually wont see friends or family for the first 2 days, just my kids and OH.

Today I got my first belly bands from newlook, 3 for a tenner isn't bad! and a gorgeous top with butterflies on! I felt the waddle taking over today. I feel my hips are looser now. Our boiler was written off this morning because it was leaking gas and carbonmonoxide, I've been told that baby is safe and the kids are safe though as levels were super low but they have shut it off, which also means no hot water until tomorrow at least STRESS!!!

 

[ukgirl23]

littlespy - it sounds awful what you went through when DD was born, I do not blame you at all for wanting alone time with your family before showing baby off to the rest of the world. I hope it all goes better for you this time around.

I wonder how I will act when my daughter has her first baby, she is only 6 at the moment so a long time yet ( I Hope!!) lol.. but I think I would feel like I had some sort of ownership to that baby since it was my babies baby. I think I will have to exercise a lot of control in holding back and not nagging her!

 

[LittleSpy]

I didnt know you could have a blood test to determine gender? How does that work I wonder? Exciting though!! xxx

I dont think its available in evey country because of the ethical issues it raises. In some countries like in India and China people would probably get it done jus to make sure they dont have girls. There is some info on the net.

Over here, in Spain, is called detesex (it has different names in different countries) and I think what they do is look at the chromosomes or something. When we are pregnant we get baby's DNA on our bloodstream, the quantity increases with time, so to be completely sure they recommend doin it from week 8, but its more accurate from 9 onwards. If the find any fragments with a Y chromosome its gonna be a boy, if they don't there its a girls. Its nearly 100% accurate. If the lab isnt sure for whatever reason they repeat the test before letting you know.
The only thing is its not realiable with multiples or after a miscarriage. A few months have to have past so your system is "clean" again.

Wow, that's awesome. I'd never be able to trust a girl result though!

Anyone planning on doing the (much less accurate) urine gender test? I was just thinking it could be fun. I don't think I could trust it. My gender u/s is just 4 weeks from Friday, though. I gueeessssssss I can wait that long.

 

[kealz194]

kealz- you sound exactly like me! I had to laugh at your post, because I am exactly the same with my OH, he has no common sense either. His job is to clean the bathroom at the moment, he cleaned the toilet and the sink but left the bath!!! Then he thought he had ''earned'' the right to play FIFA!!! can you imagine!?! such a douche! lol

lily - Its good that you set your mum straight, my ex MIL was over bearing and wouldn't let me breast feed my daughter, she said my daughter was too fat, even though the midwife said she was on the right centinile for her age, every time we went there she refused to let my daughter feed and stuffed a dummy in her mouth in stead my milk dried up from the stress and lack of feeds and I regret so badly not telling her how I really felt about it. But I was young and didn't want her to hate me so I let her carry on. I think that people can mean well but babies mummy knows best and that sometimes part of being a good mum is telling the rest of the world where to shove their ''help'' lol.

My brother is super close to me, we went through some stuff together as kids so he is the only one ever allowed to turn up without asking first. My dad generally does too but if he knows I'm tired he will usually ask me first. But yeh I'm like you readytomum most people aren't allowed to just turn up so soon after. I like a few days of me and baby to ourselves too, so we usually wont see friends or family for the first 2 days, just my kids and OH.

Today I got my first belly bands from newlook, 3 for a tenner isn't bad! and a gorgeous top with butterflies on! I felt the waddle taking over today. I feel my hips are looser now. Our boiler was written off this morning because it was leaking gas and carbonmonoxide, I've been told that baby is safe and the kids are safe though as levels were super low but they have shut it off, which also means no hot water until tomorrow at least STRESS!!!

Lol don't even talk to me about playstation.... Many an argument over that! I'm hoping my lo shoves something in it and breaks it lol! It's apparently his break from things as he works all day and comes home to a clean home, dinner and washed clothes and a happy lo most of the time! The only thing he ever has to do is the bins and cat litter tray(which I'm not supposed to do) and he doesn't even have to do it every day! Just every other! Yet as I was seriously ill this weekend I asked him to do most of the work with lo! Omg the look and sarcastic comment I got from him! He never gets up in the night with her! Yet he deserves time? Omg the veins that popped outta my head... I've been trying to read the same book for 6 months now! I used to get through a book in a few days but I'm not complaining..... Lol sorry ladies rant over now! He really just grinds my gears at the mo! Lol!

Oh I didn't think about new look! I saw some in mothercare, 2 pack for £18! And I had them last time and they were too fitted around to bottom! Might have to have a look! Thanks for the tip! Oh that's awful ukgirl! It's your baby at the end of the day you should not be old what to do with your baby by your own mum let alone mil! When we had Paige we said no visitors till we were ready! Which was well over a week! They were all at my house when we got home from hospital which really bugged me as we had said that but they left after few hours!

 

[LittleSpy]

ukgirl -- I think it would be different if my mom and I were close. But we're not at all. Until Maisie was born, I only saw her 3-4 times a year (never overnight) since I moved out at 17 while I was still in highschool.

We're completely different people and to be honest, I can't usually stand her for more than a few hours at a time. She spent the whole day with us yesterday and I found myself tolerating her more than usual but she can so easily send me spiraling into a tizzy with her shenanigans.

 

[maybesoon]

Hope everyone is doing well.... At the moment I am staying with my parents. My DH has decided to resort back to his college days & do nothing but drink beer & let his kids run the house. I tried to lay down yesterday evening for a short nap but he decided to let the kids play the wii game so he could drink beer & play his facebook game. Well yall all know that kids playing the wii is not a quiet house. So between doors slamming & kids screaming & yelling I got absolutely no rest. When I finally gave up & went to the bathroom, he smiled at me & said "Are we bothering you?" He knew damn well they were keeping me awake & he was doing it on purpose. Now mind you all last week from the time I would get home from work to the time I would go to bed all he would do was sit in our office playing his facebook game & drinking his beer. He didn't say 30 words to me all week. Then on Friday he drank an entire 30 pack of beer until 4am Saturday which led to him sleeping most of the day Saturday until he woke up & started it all over again. I just don't know what has happened. I'm so lost, confused, angry, sad. I want to crawl into a corner & fall apart, but I'm stuck here at work trying to hold it together...

 

[kealz194]

Hope everyone is doing well.... At the moment I am staying with my parents. My DH has decided to resort back to his college days & do nothing but drink beer & let his kids run the house. I tried to lay down yesterday evening for a short nap but he decided to let the kids play the wii game so he could drink beer & play his facebook game. Well yall all know that kids playing the wii is not a quiet house. So between doors slamming & kids screaming & yelling I got absolutely no rest. When I finally gave up & went to the bathroom, he smiled at me & said "Are we bothering you?" He knew damn well they were keeping me awake & he was doing it on purpose. Now mind you all last week from the time I would get home from work to the time I would go to bed all he would do was sit in our office playing his facebook game & drinking his beer. He didn't say 30 words to me all week. Then on Friday he drank an entire 30 pack of beer until 4am Saturday which led to him sleeping most of the day Saturday until he woke up & started it all over again. I just don't know what has happened. I'm so lost, confused, angry, sad. I want to crawl into a corner & fall apart, but I'm stuck here at work trying to hold it together...

Aw Hun sorry your dh is being an arse at the mo and hope its gets easier for you! Hugs x

 

[RomaTomato]

Had my scan and everything is perfect! I forgot to get a pic but the doc assured me all was well! Whew!!!

 

[Steph82]

Hope everyone is doing well.... At the moment I am staying with my parents. My DH has decided to resort back to his college days & do nothing but drink beer & let his kids run the house. I tried to lay down yesterday evening for a short nap but he decided to let the kids play the wii game so he could drink beer & play his facebook game. Well yall all know that kids playing the wii is not a quiet house. So between doors slamming & kids screaming & yelling I got absolutely no rest. When I finally gave up & went to the bathroom, he smiled at me & said "Are we bothering you?" He knew damn well they were keeping me awake & he was doing it on purpose. Now mind you all last week from the time I would get home from work to the time I would go to bed all he would do was sit in our office playing his facebook game & drinking his beer. He didn't say 30 words to me all week. Then on Friday he drank an entire 30 pack of beer until 4am Saturday which led to him sleeping most of the day Saturday until he woke up & started it all over again. I just don't know what has happened. I'm so lost, confused, angry, sad. I want to crawl into a corner & fall apart, but I'm stuck here at work trying to hold it together...

Oh YUCK! Sorry your dealing with this!

Have you tried to talk to him? I knows its easier said then done but I find it usually works better. If I wait until I'm really upset, then he just gets defensive and shuts down. But maybe just sitting him down and telling him how upset and hurt you are by his behavior, may help?

Last time I send it in a text (silly I know, but it was the only way to do it without getting to mad) and just explained that I felt hurt by his behavior and just wanted him to know, before it turned into a fight. It did work.

 

[nimbec]

Maybe soon I'm so sorry about your oh how selfish and horrible of him!!!! Could you sit him down and tell him how upset you are? I think they have ZERO understanding of how we feel an also are not really interested grr I'm so sorry you are having a rough time hopefully your mums house will provide a bit of rest bite for you (((hugs))

Roma great news on scan! Whoo hoo!

Mums hey! Lol mine announced she would like to stay with us for 2 weeks once baby is born... I get on very well with mum but I think I'll be limiting it to a week!!

Well I've not had a brill evening and day... Curry made me so poorly last night I had no sleep how frustrating then this morning when I was rushing back to house from car I fell over on the driveway OUCH!! I managed to make sure I fell on my side but I was so upset and worried about the baby hoping and praying he/she is ok!!!

Then I return home and oh announces that his parents are coming tomorrow evening for dinner grrrrr now I have to tidy house and work out something SIMPLE but effective to cook! He doesn't see much of them so it needs to go well - well one things for sure I will not be cooking curry LOL

Hope everyone is ok!!

 

[maybesoon]

Aw Hun sorry your dh is being an arse at the mo and hope its gets easier for you! Hugs x

Thank you! It really sucks bad!

 

[maybesoon]

Oh YUCK! Sorry your dealing with this!

Have you tried to talk to him? I knows its easier said then done but I find it usually works better. If I wait until I'm really upset, then he just gets defensive and shuts down. But maybe just sitting him down and telling him how upset and hurt you are by his behavior, may help?

Last time I send it in a text (silly I know, but it was the only way to do it without getting to mad) and just explained that I felt hurt by his behavior and just wanted him to know, before it turned into a fight. It did work.

I have tried talking to him. His way of handling things is to get drunk & avoid them. I have tried sitting down & talking. I have tried emailing him (he doesn't respond). I have tried bringing up possible counseling (where he told me straight up he doesn't need it, maybe I do, but he doesn't). At this point I don't know what else to try.

 

[Steph82]

Oh YUCK! Sorry your dealing with this!

Have you tried to talk to him? I knows its easier said then done but I find it usually works better. If I wait until I'm really upset, then he just gets defensive and shuts down. But maybe just sitting him down and telling him how upset and hurt you are by his behavior, may help?

Last time I send it in a text (silly I know, but it was the only way to do it without getting to mad) and just explained that I felt hurt by his behavior and just wanted him to know, before it turned into a fight. It did work.

I have tried talking to him. His way of handling things is to get drunk & avoid them. I have tried sitting down & talking. I have tried emailing him (he doesn't respond). I have tried bringing up possible counseling (where he told me straight up he doesn't need it, maybe I do, but he doesn't). At this point I don't know what else to try.

Then I would have done the same as you.... left for a little while! Let him realize that he could lose you with this behavior! God, Men can be such children ugh...