April Munchkins 2013- enjoying our wonderful babies!

[maybesoon]

maybesoon - I am so sorry that you OH is being so mean and ungreatful. You have to stay strong!

Afm - I have been really moody this past weekend and have had really bad headaches. I am able to control the nausea for the most part, but it still comes and goes throughout the day. One that I did notice was that when I weighed myself this morning, I haven't gained a single pound! That kind of worries me. I know that I haven't been able to eat too much, but I think I am still eating more than before...not sure what to think...When did you ladies start to gain weight?

As for the whole parents thing, my in-laws live with my husband and me, so there is no way for me to have my alone time. On top of that, my SIL is also pregnant and my in-laws have asked her to move in my house so that they can help take care of both babies. They didn't even ask my husband and I if we were even okay with that. I might sound selfish, but I kind of want this time to be special for me, but I guess I might have to share it with my SIL. I am excited to share the pregnancy with her, but I'd like to have my space too. I know my mom will also want to come and help, so my house is going to be a mad house....I am already stressing...

Thank you!

Oh my! I couldn't imagine having my in laws all living with me & DH! What am I saying, I'm not even staying there at the present time... lol.... Wow that seems like it would be a circus. I can totally understand how you would want the arrival of your precious baby to be a special time for you & your new family & not want to share it. I think as mommies, that's our right. Have you tried talking to them & letting them know how you feel? I know that might not be a very easy conversation to have with them.

 

[elohcin]

Oh my gosh, I would FLIP if someone living with me invited someone else to live there, too! Umm, NOT okay. I am so sorry. We have lived across the road from my IL's for about 8 years and maintaining boundaries at THIS distance is hard enough sometimes. I can't imagine having others (IL's or anyone) living WITH you. That would be hard.

 

[nimbec]

Gosh you ladies have really made me realise how lucky I am. My mum is super supportive without being obtrusive she's the best mum ever and my oh is generally very supportive yes we had the one blip but he didn't understand how I was feeling since then he's been fabulous. I really hope you all manage to sort parents and oh's out they all need to realise you are no1 at the moment and they need to look after you and go with what eee your decisions are.

((((((((hugs)))))))))) to you all!!

Oh and my bubs hb is jut on my knicker line at the top - quite high I think it took me about 20mins to find at 9 weeks and was right down to my right of pubic bone so he she has been on the move!

 

[elohcin]

Oh and here is my vid clip.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnVmhC-95tk&feature=youtu.be

(sorry it's not good sound, like I said, it was harder to find after I had to get up to get my camera, and I was having BH the whole time!)

Oh, and another note...I seem to have best luck with a freshly emptied bladder. I always try with a full one because that seems to work better for most people, but for me this time and the last few times, a completely empty one has been the key.

 

[elohcin]

Do any of you have a bikini line scar from previous surgery? I have never had a c/s, but I had to have the full 5" incision a bit above my binkini line for my ruptured ectopic in March. It's already kind of bothering me...getting itchy, though I have some calendula cream that usually helps, but I've been using primarily vitamin E and/or coconut oil now that I'm pregnant (avoided THAT while the scar was healing). I also take my CLO, E and coconut oil so I get them internally, but the idea of that stretching still kind of freaks me out.

 

[nimbec]

Elocin so nice to hear the hb! Fab recording! I'm afraid I don't have a scar so I can't offer advice so sorry you had to have this with your ectopic!

 

[maybesoon]

ok all you ladies with kiddos.... Question.... And please be honest.... Is it unreasonable for me to ask for some quiet time for a nap during the day when my hubby has his 4yr old & almost 7yr old in the house?

 

[elohcin]

ok all you ladies with kiddos.... Question.... And please be honest.... Is it unreasonable for me to ask for some quiet time for a nap during the day when my hubby has his 4yr old & almost 7yr old in the house?

NO! You are growing a human being for goodness sakes, you deserve quiet time, nap or not. I make mine (6.5, 4.5, and 2.5) take a "quiet time" in the middle of every day no matter what. Sometimes they can watch a movie, but usually they have to stay in their room and sit quietly and read or play something that makes zero noise! My 2 year old usually goes to my bed and will fall asleep...then I can read or nap or whatever I feel I need.

At that age they should easily be able to do something quietly on their own so you can rest!

 

[maybesoon]

NO! You are growing a human being for goodness sakes, you deserve quiet time, nap or not. I make mine (6.5, 4.5, and 2.5) take a "quiet time" in the middle of every day no matter what. Sometimes they can watch a movie, but usually they have to stay in their room and sit quietly and read or play something that makes zero noise! My 2 year old usually goes to my bed and will fall asleep...then I can read or nap or whatever I feel I need.

At that age they should easily be able to do something quietly on their own so you can rest!

Thank you so much for your response. I just don't get it. With my step-sons from my previous marriage it was so easy. They were so good & at that age if I asked them to play quietly or watch a movie so I could rest (if I was sick) it was no problem. But with these two there seems to be NO control. They are constantly running through the house, screaming at the top of their lungs & constantly slamming doors. My hubby thinks this is completely normal but there is absolutely NO structure at all & I'm a structure person. I on the other hand have started questioning if I was just WAY too strict on the boys.

 

[LittleSpy]

UGH. Spotting is back (it was almost nonexistant Saturday and Sunday). And heavier than it has been in a week. Light brown, so not in full freak out mode yet but I'm way too high-strung for this s***. I apparently "overdid it" by cleaning my house for a couple of hours yesterday. *sigh*

 

[elohcin]

Oh good gravy, yeah...that needs to stop. That's just not appropriate, period. Sure, kids need to be kids, but manners and respect are something those ages are totally capable of. I don't think you are asking too much. I'm sorry your hubby isn't supportive in that dept.

 

[maybesoon]

UGH. Spotting is back (it was almost nonexistant Saturday and Sunday). And heavier than it has been in a week. Light brown, so not in full freak out mode yet but I'm way too high-strung for this s***. I apparently "overdid it" by cleaning my house for a couple of hours yesterday. *sigh*

Ugh Littlespy.... Get those feet elevated & rest! Keep us posted please.

 

[maybesoon]

Oh good gravy, yeah...that needs to stop. That's just not appropriate, period. Sure, kids need to be kids, but manners and respect are something those ages are totally capable of. I don't think you are asking too much. I'm sorry your hubby isn't supportive in that dept.

Thank you! He has me thinking I'm just an evil step-monster! Funny because I raised my step-sons for 8 years & they absolutely love me. They still call me every week & tell me they miss & love me. So I just don't get it. We just have totally different values about raising children & how they should behave. Funny thing is he wasn't like this when we were dating. He made it seem like he had the same values as I do... But in the last couple of months everything has changed & it's almost like he's doing things to drive me away. Like letting the kids play the wii yesterday when he knew I was laying down for a nap.... That is why I have begun to think he really doesn't want this at all....

 

[ReadytoMum]

maybesoon: I hope your OH smartens up soon and realizes how much hurt he's causing. He might be pushing you away because he's freaking out about being a dad again, but that's no excuse to act this way! I hope things settle down for you soon.

littlespy: Oh no! Get lots of rest when you can and hopefully it'll go away again.

DH's parents finally got the card that we sent them today! He had a nice long chat with them, and his parents are very excited for us. They already have one grandson, but they seemed quite happy to be told that they were going to be grandparents again! So now both of our parents know, and it's a bit of a relief.

 

[ebelle]

Littlespy: do try and take it easy and I hope the spotting goes away quickly.

Elohcin: thank you for sharing the video. I hope I can find mine soon. I didn't know bladder pee made a difference, so will try both full and empty bladder. Oh, and I do have a surgery scar, about 5 cm long too. Mine is from a fibroid removal surgery back in April 2010. Since I got pregnant, it has become itchy and angry red. My OB says that I should probably have a C section to avoid uterine rupture as he cut into my uterus to remove the fibroid. What I did post surgery during the healing period was to use lots of lotion, vit e creams and take foods high in omega 3 and collagen. its meant to help the whole healing process. Hope this helps!

Maybesoon: is it possible at all to try couples mediation with your oh? Sounds like he may be over whelmed by the new baby Development and doesn't know how to adjust. Maybe he feels a bit guilty in regard to his existing children and doesn't know how to handle his emotions properly. I know of friends who had problems with their husbands acting up when they realised that they had to share attention with the new baby. Was insane how jealous they got!

 

[ukgirl23]

Good morning ladies. littlespy I really hope the spotting stops soon. And Maybesoon you are a lovely lady not an evil step monster, your oh just needs to retreat to his man cave and think about his behaviour. Hes being a selfish pig but hopefully he will buck up soon!

Just a quick questoon. Is anyone else having nightmares? I got them with my other pregnancies too. I seem ti have them nightly now. last two pregnancies I had night terrors too :/

Im 10 weeks today yay!!

 

[doggylover]

I'm 11 weeks today! A lime! That seems pretty big to me..,!

Not having nightmares nimbec, but very vivid dreams, and lots of them!

Littlespy, rest rest rest. No cleaning, no anything until the spotting stops!

Maybesoon, your dh needs to get his act together ASAP. I want to offer more advice, but basically he is just being a moron and needs to sort himself out.

 

[nimbec]

Doggylover Yey to the lime me too

Little spy sorry your having a rough time with spotting please take care and definately put your feet up!!

Maybesoon I don't think you're being unreasonable in the slightest!!!!! They are old enough to understand being quiet and your partner should know better I'm so sorry you re having to deal with this it should be an enjoyable time not him making it hard for you ((((hugs))))

Hope everyone has a good day! The sun is out here so that's a good start lol !

 

[lily28]

stmw, Thanks for your reply. omg to have to deal with my mom with these things is one thing, but putting up with MIL would be hell for sure. Good for you dealing with this thing successfully.

doggylover, I know it is scary just thinking other people will paw my baby. I chose a specific hospital to give birth because it is the only one that has the policy that you have your baby with you all the time and you take care of it on your own (you can get assistance from midwives and doulas of course if you need it). But they are very insistent on creating a bond between mom and newborn and mom should take care of her own baby. Good luck with your inlaws hun, yes I believe it is better if they stay elsewhere. It will be so much hard work for you caring for yourself, the newborn and being a hostess for (unwanted) guests...

kealz194 I hear you! They certainly need boundaries! I have no prob with MIL, she lives far away and she knows how to keep her self out of our way, she is a classy lady. BUT my mom is super nosy, narcissistic and controlling. She had my grandma stay with her when she had me and my sis, because she was too lazy to take care of us, didn't want to breast feed us etc. She wanted to party, thus found my grandma to take advantage of. Now she wants to have it her way again, this time to make up for her lack of motherly behavior, but I need to stop her.

ReadytoMum Privacy is super important. It is not going to make it easier for us having guests those days after the hospital. It will only make things worse and interfere with our schedule. I must plan ahead. Good luck with your sis. I feel for you, my mom lives near by too.

LittleSpy OMG sorry about your mom... This sounds like a projection of the future for me, this is exactly what I fear... I know all about passive aggressive behavior for not letting her have it her way, pouting and not talking to me for weeks.
WE are NOT our MOTHERS. This is what we should keep in mind!

ukgirl23 gosh your exmil sounds horrible.. Sorry she ruined it for you. I plan on protecting my breastfeeding at all costs.

Your stories make me feel so much better, I don't feel like I'm alone. And this is why this forum is so important, the support you get and the info is invaluable!!!! A million thanks to all who replied and gave an opinion! I love you all!

The way I think it, why would anyone want to see me with my boobies hanging out half the time, complaining about (the lack of) poop, DH being the way he is (not friendly) etc, being super stressed about the baby etc
The only logical explanation is they want to play with my baby on my expense. I suggest they buy a doll or a kitten/puppy and they play all they like.

 

[lily28]

Had my scan and everything is perfect! I forgot to get a pic but the doc assured me all was well! Whew!!!

Yay! So happy your scan was great!!! Good job mama!