As a mother who formula feeds..

[Blah11]

Its still primarily putting your needs before anyone elses even if it is a huge personal reason like past abuse. That doesn't necessarily make it terribly wrong as the knockon effects *could* be worse but idk.

If the baby was to want and attempt to breastfeed then maybe but when the baby refuses, has no interest in it and just generaly hates the attempts and screams hystericaly at the notion of even holding him in a way he is clearly not comfertable with then no, im putting his need first by feeding him regardless of how he is being fed, otherwise the alternative is leaving him to scream with hunger and starve to death and that is most certainly not a option or putting him first.
Im putting his needs first just bytrying to find a way to feed him, by what means shouldnt even come into it.

Fair enough but thats not much a personal reason as to baby wasnt latching on

 

[Blah11]

omfg cant believe lisa won masterchef

OMG you spoiled it for me , I was going to watch it after big brother

sorry

 

[Dragonfly]

I think a lot of people take in to account the baby also and what baby needs, if I could I would ask my mum to breastfeed me when I was a baby but I couldnt. Baby dosnt have a voice but would it not want the best available food there is? Hence why some ask if you can then why wont you. (if you cant then you cant dont get can and not able to confused here). Just a suggestion I hope I wont get my head bit of by. Again this is for people who CAN and wont just go right to formula.

 

[smokey]

I disagree, but continue on.

Sorry with what?

 

[Blah11]

i agree dragonfly. Amelie would happily eat quavers for breakfast, lunch and dinner but thats not good for her so I make her eat some meat and veggies!

 

[madasa]

Yup, we're always gunna defend the choices we make for our children because they're precious!! x

I don't. I used formula and early weaning (ie before 6mo) with my first baby. I look back and I say, you know what? They were poor choices. If I had my time again, I'd do different.

I use disposable nappies too, I know that cloth or nappy free would be better for my baby so you could say it's a poor choice. I font defend that either. I admire and respect women who have gone down that route, and hope to emulate them if we have more babies.

I'm not really one of those mums who wants my kids to have the "best" of everything, the "best start in life" etc. I'm more like Jo Brand, I'm a "that'll do" mum. Go ahead and hang me, lol!

I guess with ff/bf, there's two ways if looking at it: "breast is best", "breast us the gold standard", "breast gives your baby the best start in life"...

Or there's "breast is just normal, the standard and a biological imperative... " that's where the real divide is, I think. Everyone agrees that, all else being equal, bfing is "better" than ff... No one argues that point, it's been proven over and over. The bone of contention is whether it's an optional extra (like pregnancy vitamins, which I didn't take by the way) or is it the minimum standard? AND, is this a matter of opinion (no right/wrong answer) or an indisputable biological fact?

.

 

[AppleBlossom]

I do think women need more education into what BFing is all about. But if they still choose to FF or they do try BFing and, like me, it just doesn't work, then they should be left alone, not hounded by people telling them what terrible parents they are and how they are selfish etc. That's what I find wrong and unfair and as someone who tried to BF but couldn't, although I don;t feel an ounce of guilt because it was the best choice for us, it annoys me that even women who really tried still get slated for their decisions. (Not necessarily reffering to people on here, just about people in general)

I agree, more education is needed, especially on issues like combi feeding. I'm sure combination feeding would have worked well for you and Grace but I'm betting the thought never even crossed your mind cos you didnt have anyone to suggest it

I did try it in the last few days, I pumped for a while afterwards too but it didn't stop me spiralling. It's a shame that not everyone can simply do it and that's it

 

[smokey]

Its still primarily putting your needs before anyone elses even if it is a huge personal reason like past abuse. That doesn't necessarily make it terribly wrong as the knockon effects *could* be worse but idk.

If the baby was to want and attempt to breastfeed then maybe but when the baby refuses, has no interest in it and just generaly hates the attempts and screams hystericaly at the notion of even holding him in a way he is clearly not comfertable with then no, im putting his need first by feeding him regardless of how he is being fed, otherwise the alternative is leaving him to scream with hunger and starve to death and that is most certainly not a option or putting him first.
Im putting his needs first just bytrying to find a way to feed him, by what means shouldnt even come into it.

Fair enough but thats not much a personal reason as to baby wasnt latching on

But it is a personal reason as in the literal sense, its personal to me plus I had my own personal reasons to add to that.
I just dont realy see it as baby not coming first if what your trying to accomplish is keeping them alive by feeding them regardless of how your feeding them.
Youll have to forgive me as I dont explain myself very well and get a bit worked up when I cant explain myself

 

[Missy86]

Can I ask the people who tried bf but failed, does it put you off having more kids

 

[Wobbles]

I think a lot of people take in to account the baby also and what baby needs, if I could I would ask my mum to breastfeed me when I was a baby but I couldnt. Baby dosnt have a voice but would it not want the best available food there is? Hence why some ask if you can then why wont you. (if you cant then you cant dont get can and not able to confused here). Just a suggestion I hope I wont get my head bit of by. Again this is for people who CAN and wont just go right to formula.

As a baby I would have asked for many things, what way I was fed definitely isn't one of them! Whist feeding your child is essential how really isn't as important as a safe loving home and family a parent should give their child.

 

[smokey]

Can I ask the people who tried bf but failed, does it put you off having more kids

Not at all, Im already thinking of my next one and again I will try to bf that one as well and if it doesnt work out then so be it, im not going to beat myself up over it

 

[Blah11]

Why would failing at breastfeeding put you off having more kids Thats kind of odd?

 

[madasa]

My sis (who has never had a baby and has no opinion on bf/ff) has noticed that whenever a girl is pregnant in her office, bf-ers keep quiet and ff-ers are more vocal... I've sort of noticed the same, but it's like Jekyll and Hyde... Seems to be online that the mammary mafia let loose, like in this article.... Ofc, ymmv

I can see what your saying but when i was at work i was asked continually and when i said i wasn't sure, i was bombared with people saying 'i breastfed' etc. I heard from no one that ff - think they were too scared to admit it.

I too had this from work - "you should really breastfeed you know"

I think people just like to tell you their opinion, whether you want to hear it or not. I returned to work this week so instead of being told about breastfeeding all i hear now is why i don't leave work to be a SAHM or go part time (people don't get the concept of not being able to afford it!)

I get that not every office is a clone if my sisters! . Just something I've noticed in my area, that it's the formula mums who are more outspoken about it.

One reason that mums "should try" which is often overlooked is: you know what, you might actually find it easy, convenient and enjoyable! If you don't like bf, you can switch to ff easily... But if you start with ff, it's much harder to switch to bf, iyswim.

Yeah i see where you're coming from. TBH i do get fed up with people on here saying that FF'ers are lazy, uneducated etc for not breastfeeding because i know I am none of those things and I am a good mother. In everything I do in life I always put my LO first and would die for her. But one good thing about this section is that it has made me think twice about next time round. I prob will try to breastfeed my next baby (if i have one) as you said I may find it enjoyable and easy.

You f£&@ing rock.

That is all!

 

[Missy86]

Why would failing at breastfeeding put you off having more kids Thats kind of odd?

I think its cos I really wanted to do it and the thought of having a week like that scares me so much.

Going though another labour and c section doesnt worry me just the thought of bf again

 

[smokey]

Why would failing at breastfeeding put you off having more kids Thats kind of odd?

I can see why the feelings would make some think twice, like they dont want to go through the depresion of it all over again.
I dont like to use the word fail as I dont believe bf turn ff have failed, they have just tried a different angle.

 

[Blah11]

i usually say give up instead of fail lol



Every baby is different, who says that your next baby wont be a pro at breastfeeding?

 

[Dragonfly]

I think a lot of people take in to account the baby also and what baby needs, if I could I would ask my mum to breastfeed me when I was a baby but I couldnt. Baby dosnt have a voice but would it not want the best available food there is? Hence why some ask if you can then why wont you. (if you cant then you cant dont get can and not able to confused here). Just a suggestion I hope I wont get my head bit of by. Again this is for people who CAN and wont just go right to formula.

As a baby I would have asked for many things, what way I was fed definitely isn't one of them! Whist feeding your child is essential how really isn't as important as a safe loving home and family a parent should give their child.

All them factors are great as well I was just touching on feeding none of the rest. Suppose personal to me I would loved to have asked my mum to do it for a lot of reasons I wont go into, probably open a bigger can of worms but I wanted to add that in there as no one had mentioned whats best for baby it was whats best for mum and automatically assumed best for baby. I do however think its important how a child is fed also as well as the rest.

 

[Missy86]

i usually say give up instead of fail lol



Every baby is different, who says that your next baby wont be a pro at breastfeeding?

Rhys was very good at it, it was other factors
thats what was so depressing

 

[Tiff]

The only thing that has put me off having more children atm is having a toddler! I have the utmost respect for Moms who are working on their 2nd Bubs with a baby under the age of two already at the moment. If there was a "bow" smilie, I'd be using it!

That being said, nope... if I have another baby, it'll be because I want one. I will try to BF again as each time is different and I have a better understanding of it all now. That being said if it doesn't work for us the only thing I'll do differently is not beat myself up as hard as I did when I switched Claire to formula.

 

[AppleBlossom]

Can I ask the people who tried bf but failed, does it put you off having more kids

Labour put me off having more kids

But no, it doesn't but it puts me off BFing them any longer than the first few days