As a mother who formula feeds..

[blahblahblah]

There are many things putting me off having more babies, failing at BF is not one of them. If there is a next time, I'll give it another go, and be armed with contact details for every type of support out there.... BUT if I had bad enough problems to need to stop like this time, the difference is that I won't beat myself up about it!

 

[HannahGraceee]

i think either saying FF OR BF is wrong or "cruel" is not fair! i got called cruel for still FF!

 

[madasa]

When I was having trouble with feeding it was my HV who said to me in the end "dont feel guilty and dont feel pressured, feeding him formula and you both being happy and comfertable is alot more healthy for you both then breast feeding with you both crying and stressed"

Ill try it again with my next baby and see what happens, I may be more relaxed because im more experianced by then and it may work out better but im not going to beat myself up if it doesnt work because I know its not my fault, its not my babies fault its just one of those things in life and anyone who thinks it should be more black and white then that is either nieve or an idiot.

Plus I realy think that IF (and theres no way it ever could) it ever was made law to have to breast feed your baby then think how much PND would most likely sore and then youd have even more unwell mummies and babies in the long run.

Generally speaking, ff mums are at greater risk of pnd. There's a while gamut of hormones that are released when breastfeeding, and the lack of them increases the risk of depression, detachment and poor mental health. All this in mind, I'm not sure how pnd rates would go up if bf rates went up? I wonder what the pnd rates are in Scandinavia, where the bf rate is 90something %... would be interesting to know...

 

[smokey]

i usually say give up instead of fail lol



Every baby is different, who says that your next baby wont be a pro at breastfeeding?

I dought my feelings towards breastfeeding would have changed though as its something so inbuilt from childhood that its always going to be there but at least I might be a bit more prepared for the emotional wave next time now I know what to expect and look out for it and be able to handle it better.
Who knows its one of those wait and see things but I certainly wont rule either form out.

 

[smokey]

When I was having trouble with feeding it was my HV who said to me in the end "dont feel guilty and dont feel pressured, feeding him formula and you both being happy and comfertable is alot more healthy for you both then breast feeding with you both crying and stressed"

Ill try it again with my next baby and see what happens, I may be more relaxed because im more experianced by then and it may work out better but im not going to beat myself up if it doesnt work because I know its not my fault, its not my babies fault its just one of those things in life and anyone who thinks it should be more black and white then that is either nieve or an idiot.

Plus I realy think that IF (and theres no way it ever could) it ever was made law to have to breast feed your baby then think how much PND would most likely sore and then youd have even more unwell mummies and babies in the long run.

Generally speaking, ff mums are at greater risk of pnd. There's a while gamut of hormones that are released when breastfeeding, and the lack of them increases the risk of depression, detachment and poor mental health. All this in mind, I'm not sure how pnd rates would go up if bf rates went up? I wonder what the pnd rates are in Scandinavia, where the bf rate is 90something %... would be interesting to know...

I ment the presure to bf if your having alot of trouble with it and the thoughts and feelings of "I have to because I have no choice" surely that sort of presure would have to play a part towards PND because it would add to the stress, I know when I stoped bf my stress whent down and therfore so did my signs of PND.

 

[madasa]

It is scaremongering!! I know people would jump on their highhorse if I were to write something like that about breastfeeding. I know there are problems with breastfeeding but no one ever talks about them. It's always formula feeding. We're too advanced in this day and age for formula milk to not be any good for a baby! xx

It's hard to believe, isn't it, that "they" would allow something which was not good for babies. But the thing is, money us power, and do you have any idea how much the artificial milk industry is worth?

Regulations and approval
Breastmilk substitutes are classified as food and are not subject to the more vigorous regulations applied to pharmaceuticals. Yet these concoctions have questionable synthesized ingredients. Most artificial milk is produced in the USA. The ultimate regulatory authority there is the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Requirements for infant formula are contained in the Federal Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act, which states ‘all manufacturers of infant formula must begin with safe food ingredients, which are either generally recognized as safe (GRAS) or approved as food additives for use in infant formula’. The FDA has no authority over ingredients with GRAS status, though it does require further research to be conducted.

Source: https://www.lactivist.net/?p=1307

The upshot of this is that most infant formulas are subject to less rigourous testing than an over the counter cough/cold medicine.

Formula is not a great product. We need to be pressuring for more milk banks, and BETTER formula, (as well as better post natal support for new mothers, better laws protecting breastfeeding, and more maternity leave with better pay, but that's a whole nutha topic!)

Yes we should retain bodily autonomy and freedom of choice, but an uninformed choice is no choice at all.

 

[madasa]

When I was having trouble with feeding it was my HV who said to me in the end "dont feel guilty and dont feel pressured, feeding him formula and you both being happy and comfertable is alot more healthy for you both then breast feeding with you both crying and stressed"

Ill try it again with my next baby and see what happens, I may be more relaxed because im more experianced by then and it may work out better but im not going to beat myself up if it doesnt work because I know its not my fault, its not my babies fault its just one of those things in life and anyone who thinks it should be more black and white then that is either nieve or an idiot.

Plus I realy think that IF (and theres no way it ever could) it ever was made law to have to breast feed your baby then think how much PND would most likely sore and then youd have even more unwell mummies and babies in the long run.

Generally speaking, ff mums are at greater risk of pnd. There's a while gamut of hormones that are released when breastfeeding, and the lack of them increases the risk of depression, detachment and poor mental health. All this in mind, I'm not sure how pnd rates would go up if bf rates went up? I wonder what the pnd rates are in Scandinavia, where the bf rate is 90something %... would be interesting to know...

I ment the presure to bf if your having alot of trouble with it and the thoughts and feelings of "I have to because I have no choice" surely that sort of presure would have to play a part towards PND because it would add to the stress, I know when I stoped bf my stress whent down and therfore so did my signs of PND.

Ok I gotcha. Whereas adequate support not only negates any need for the "law", it would also mean lots of mums would feel better about it and want to keep going...?

As it is I think bfing is promoted lots, but when a mum runs into difficulty, all she gets is "oh top up/switch to formula!" or "keep going, breast is best for your baby!" nothing in HOW to keep going, what would make it easier etc... This is just from the stories I e heard from new mums...

 

[Tiff]

I had 3 lactation consultants at the hospital and a home nurse try and help me with breastfeeding. It still didn't help Claire and I at all. Although I was thankful that they did try to help me.

Maybe its an area thing where how to keep going isn't explained?

 

[Missy86]

When I was having trouble with feeding it was my HV who said to me in the end "dont feel guilty and dont feel pressured, feeding him formula and you both being happy and comfertable is alot more healthy for you both then breast feeding with you both crying and stressed"

Ill try it again with my next baby and see what happens, I may be more relaxed because im more experianced by then and it may work out better but im not going to beat myself up if it doesnt work because I know its not my fault, its not my babies fault its just one of those things in life and anyone who thinks it should be more black and white then that is either nieve or an idiot.

Plus I realy think that IF (and theres no way it ever could) it ever was made law to have to breast feed your baby then think how much PND would most likely sore and then youd have even more unwell mummies and babies in the long run.

Generally speaking, ff mums are at greater risk of pnd. There's a while gamut of hormones that are released when breastfeeding, and the lack of them increases the risk of depression, detachment and poor mental health. All this in mind, I'm not sure how pnd rates would go up if bf rates went up? I wonder what the pnd rates are in Scandinavia, where the bf rate is 90something %... would be interesting to know...

I ment the presure to bf if your having alot of trouble with it and the thoughts and feelings of "I have to because I have no choice" surely that sort of presure would have to play a part towards PND because it would add to the stress, I know when I stoped bf my stress whent down and therfore so did my signs of PND.

Ok I gotcha. Whereas adequate support not only negates any need for the "law", it would also mean lots of mums would feel better about it and want to keep going...?

As it is I think bfing is promoted lots, but when a mum runs into difficulty, all she gets is "oh top up/switch to formula!" or "keep going, breast is best for your baby!" nothing in HOW to keep going, what would make it easier etc... This is just from the stories I e heard from new mums...

See thats the thing, there is no one to help you at 3 in the morning or when your all alone in the house a few days after the birth
Most of the time I was all by myself and I couldnt cope

 

[Dragonfly]

Must be an area thing we dont even have a lactation consultant at our hospital. Theres no one that knows I asked for help and was just barked at and tried looking for one and came up with nothing. I used breastfeeding helplines. Felt like a saddo calling them but the woman was so helpful.

 

[Tiff]

That sucks. I definitely am surprised at that! I had amazing support, those women did everything short of BF Claire themselves for me. If anything it made me feel a bit better knowing that they couldn't make heads or tales of it either.

Those were just the professionals too. Every 8 hours (between shift changes) I'd have a new nurse while I was in the hospital and they all tried to give me pointers/advice too.

 

[Dragonfly]

That sucks. I definitely am surprised at that! I had amazing support, those women did everything short of BF Claire themselves for me. If anything it made me feel a bit better knowing that they couldn't make heads or tales of it either.

Those were just the professionals too. Every 8 hours (between shift changes) I'd have a new nurse while I was in the hospital and they all tried to give me pointers/advice too.

you get nothing here, no info on breastfeeding, no help at all with anything in hospital,. I remember buzzinga few tiems when i was in pain feeding only to be told to wait why some other mum who had a baby in hysterics was screaming and when I was got to I was barked at for doing it wrong but never shown the right way. I moved to a private room as my dad was angry they wouldnt help me to the loo after emergency c section and wouldnt even lift william off me so I had to pee myself I was in that much pain. In there I just got snide remarks when someone checked on me once. Not one bit of help I got, just astounded mums looking on shaking heads at what I was doing. I was so tired I didnt care what anyone thought and couldnt speak I was so sore from the labour anyway. I wish every hospital was like yours especially here. I see no posters, no help info anywhere was only ever asked once how i was feeding in my booking app both times and that was it. I do think they are afraid to ask as some here would actually row over it and my hospital has policies like not telling sex of baby for rows that where caused by mistakes so they wont even ask why someone wouldnt breastfeed.

I wonder will i be alone in breastfeeding in there this time around again.

 

[smokey]

Out of curiousity did any of you that had problems with breast feeding find breast size, shape and nipple position any contributing factor towards it?

 

[Dragonfly]

Well I can only speak for myself I have massive boobs and had no probs, well long as you leave some room for baby to breath theres no probs. dont know what its like to have small boobs, sometimes I wish I did but i havnt been small since I was like 11 .

 

[Tiff]

Not sure! I have average boobs normal nipples I guess, I can't say I know how they are positioned though.

Claire rejected my left breast completely. We tried every hold they could think of to "trick" her into thinking that it was like the one she favoured. They can develop favourite sides as my lactation consultants told me, so I didn't think anything of it. I was going to just keep feeding her off of one boob (it was freaking KILLING me though), and my Mom who is like a massive BF supporter told me that I "couldn't".

I asked her how she figured Moms with twins BF

Anyways, she wouldn't buy the whole supply and demand thing and said that Claire wouldn't be getting enough. So while I had great help with my consultants, my Mom was stressful for me. She also got angry with me when I told her I didn't want her watching me breastfeed. I just wasn't comfortable with it yet she would get really mad and tell me that there isn't anything "wrong" with her watching.

Just made me very uncomfortable. Is it wrong to ask someone to not watch you? I mean I'm all for people being comfortable but I wasn't with it. She really got me in a tizzy over that one.


Dragonfly - that sucks. Maybe you could start some sort of BF awareness campaign or something? Sounds like your area needs it.

 

[madasa]

When I was having trouble with feeding it was my HV who said to me in the end "dont feel guilty and dont feel pressured, feeding him formula and you both being happy and comfertable is alot more healthy for you both then breast feeding with you both crying and stressed"

Ill try it again with my next baby and see what happens, I may be more relaxed because im more experianced by then and it may work out better but im not going to beat myself up if it doesnt work because I know its not my fault, its not my babies fault its just one of those things in life and anyone who thinks it should be more black and white then that is either nieve or an idiot.

Plus I realy think that IF (and theres no way it ever could) it ever was made law to have to breast feed your baby then think how much PND would most likely sore and then youd have even more unwell mummies and babies in the long run.

Generally speaking, ff mums are at greater risk of pnd. There's a while gamut of hormones that are released when breastfeeding, and the lack of them increases the risk of depression, detachment and poor mental health. All this in mind, I'm not sure how pnd rates would go up if bf rates went up? I wonder what the pnd rates are in Scandinavia, where the bf rate is 90something %... would be interesting to know...

I ment the presure to bf if your having alot of trouble with it and the thoughts and feelings of "I have to because I have no choice" surely that sort of presure would have to play a part towards PND because it would add to the stress, I know when I stoped bf my stress whent down and therfore so did my signs of PND.

Ok I gotcha. Whereas adequate support not only negates any need for the "law", it would also mean lots of mums would feel better about it and want to keep going...?

As it is I think bfing is promoted lots, but when a mum runs into difficulty, all she gets is "oh top up/switch to formula!" or "keep going, breast is best for your baby!" nothing in HOW to keep going, what would make it easier etc... This is just from the stories I e heard from new mums...

See thats the thing, there is no one to help you at 3 in the morning or when your all alone in the house a few days after the birth
Most of the time I was all by myself and I couldnt cope

I'm on call for any if my preggo friends, or friends with new babies. I think all mums need that to fall back on, just in case... It just sad that the majority of ppl in any mums non professional support network will just suggest a bottle. The only way to combat it us standing together... And demanding better post natal care. We all say it's needed but how many write to their hospital or supervisir of mudwives about it...?

 

[Dragonfly]

I was told to write letters last time but i didnt, I was nieve and am only aware now by really realy looking this time around that theres nothing there. I asked the local bf group was many at it and they have really bad numbers and sometimes no one turns up especially in the summer the lady who runs it tells me. I will be this time as I have more wits about me about the whole thing, I was un educated when I began breastfeeding. Hard to campaign when no one else has an interest or does it. My other half was even shot down for suggesting it to mates whos woman where having babies. very against it some people here but then I dont blame them as theres no info, even I didn't know anything and was going to formula feed. Still have my sterilizer under the sink and finailly threw out the formula everyone bought me a few months ago as it was out of date. No one expected me to last longer than a day your not meant to do it that long I was told and no one in our family bothered so why should I, thats what I heard for a long time. I would love to raise awareness to some level like it is over there, in a proper way of course just guidance not dictating.

 

[smokey]

I think educating school age may be a better way to go about it maybe as part of thier sex education or child development class at 16 sort of age.

Pregnant women and new mums have a hell of alot going on and its understandable to get deffensive when you feel someone is hammering at you "this is how you have to do it"
So maybe if girls where educated on the pros and cons of both side and educated on the true facts then they would be better prepared for the choice and more informed about what to expect and have an idea in mind befor the time comes.
Of course things can still go wrong but hopfully they may be more educated on the emotional impact of it all.

 

[fantastica]

Can I ask the people who tried bf but failed, does it put you off having more kids

For me...it makes me want more children even more! The idea of never bfing a baby successfully feels worse than the idea of going through the struggle again. I want to prove to myself that I can succeed, and there is absolutely nothing that would stop me being sucessful next time. The only thing that puts me off is the idea that I couldn't give Jacob the best start and I would feel guilty for giving that to future children and not to him. x

 

[BlackBerry25]

Doesn't put me off having more, nope.

I had lactation specialists at the hospital, at my house (which they contacted me, I did not contact them) and calling me non stop, so much that I had to block them, even though they suggested I quit.

I have small nipples. They said I would have problems.

I had a blocked nipple on one side from a rejected piercing.

I had gallstones, couldnt eat anything really until my surgery which wasnt until H was 5 months old, and I lost 35 pounds the first week breastfeeding because I wasn't taking in enough calories.

I felt like shit because I had no energy from my no food plus bf, so I quit and instantly felt a million times better.

Next baby, I will probably attempt, but I now have both nipples pierced, the one obviously isn't going to be magically better, and I have Helena now, so I may pump, may BF, or I may use formula. Like Blah, its not something I think about, I just know I have to feed my baby.