As a mother who formula feeds..

[cherryglitter]

I thought it was natural to put your baby above yourself and everyone else and everything else...

Cherry, do you truly feel you are putting yourself above your baby?

How can you ask me this?! Of course I don't. I always put Jake first and I always will. I FF for that reason. I didn't want to feel even worse than I already do. Depression is something i've had for a long time! Like people have said, a lot of women have their own reasons. x

 

[better2gether]

It doesn't really matter what context "mammary mafia" was used in... I just don't think it should be used period. It gives people ideas.

 

[Blah11]

I never tried and I just wasn't interested in trying!
Im not too sure why it just wasn't something that ever appealed to me. I never saw my breasts as being for my child. OF COURSE I know that's what mother nature intended them for. But there's many things mother nature intended my body to do which just doesn't happen.

It was one of those things, I guess I have sexualised my boobs. But that's not my fault, it's just the way it is! x

I think a lot of girls feel this way because of how breastfeeding has been treated in the past. But i think This is a problem with our media and our education on the matter.

I don't agree that it should be classified as a lifestyle choice. I want to give my child the best that i can. And i think deep down everyone who values being a parent wants to give their child the best that they can.

If you can breastfeed, women should be taught that this is something that you should not take advantage of. Think about all the mothers that would love to breastfeed but can't.

If you have the opportunity to do it, i feel like it would be selfish not too.

The only time i've felt selfish is when i've been made to feel selfish, almost like i've done something wrong.

Thats your opinion. But selfish to me is thinking of myself before the baby. I don't plan on trying to breastfeed because its the fun and cool thing to do. I'm pretty sure if i can do it, it will be a pain in the ass. But i'm not doing it for me, i'm doing it because its what is best for my baby.

If you have the chance to help your baby grow healthier and stronger...why wouldn't you even consider or think about it. When you were given prenatal vitamins...did you shrug your shoulders and say "meh, i can do without them" or did you take them for your baby's sake? Its the same concept, except the vitamin is coming from your boobies

I think the problem is mostly on how breastfeeding hasn't been taught as the healthier choice. It wasn't until recent years that it has even came back in popularity.

I would never want to make breastfeeding "law", but as for teaching it in schools as the healthier choice and why, I'm all for that.

its not a pain in the ass hun, it's one of the best things I've ever done There wouldnt be so many of us who breastfeed for years if its so terrible!

I think that's a matter of opinion. I have had family members tell me it was wonderful, and others tell me how much of a hassle it is... I think it just depends on the person and their situation.

I don't think so. I've not spoken to anyone who has managed to get beyond the 3-4 month mark (the newborn days are by far the hardest) and said it was a hassle or that they regretted breastfeeding Think the people who say its a hassle are those who only experienced the hard periods.

 

[cherryglitter]

Selfish just means the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others Not breastfeeding for personal reasons is by defination selfish is it not? I think its cos people see words like selfish and ignorant as really derogatory words so they look past the literal meaning.

I guess you could say that yes, if we're taking things, literally!

 

[better2gether]

I thought it was natural to put your baby above yourself and everyone else and everything else...

Cherry, do you truly feel you are putting yourself above your baby?

How can you ask me this?! Of course I don't. I always put Jake first and I always will. I FF for that reason. I didn't want to feel even worse than I already do. Depression is something i've had for a long time! Like people have said, a lot of women have their own reasons. x

Oh okay. So you were trying to get a rise out of someone so they would call you selfish and you would get offended? :/

 

[bluebaby]

I thought it was natural to put your baby above yourself and everyone else and everything else...

Cherry, do you truly feel you are putting yourself above your baby?

I think its unfair to ask her that. I don't think any mother would put their needs before they baby

 

[cherryglitter]

I thought it was natural to put your baby above yourself and everyone else and everything else...

Cherry, do you truly feel you are putting yourself above your baby?

How can you ask me this?! Of course I don't. I always put Jake first and I always will. I FF for that reason. I didn't want to feel even worse than I already do. Depression is something i've had for a long time! Like people have said, a lot of women have their own reasons. x

Oh okay. So you were trying to get a rise out of someone so they would call you selfish and you would get offended? :/

Have I missed something?!

 

[better2gether]

She was asking another poster that. Jesus. I was trying to CLARIFY!

 

[Blah11]

I do think women need more education into what BFing is all about. But if they still choose to FF or they do try BFing and, like me, it just doesn't work, then they should be left alone, not hounded by people telling them what terrible parents they are and how they are selfish etc. That's what I find wrong and unfair and as someone who tried to BF but couldn't, although I don;t feel an ounce of guilt because it was the best choice for us, it annoys me that even women who really tried still get slated for their decisions. (Not necessarily reffering to people on here, just about people in general)

I agree, more education is needed, especially on issues like combi feeding. I'm sure combination feeding would have worked well for you and Grace but I'm betting the thought never even crossed your mind cos you didnt have anyone to suggest it

 

[moomin_troll]

I thought it was natural to put your baby above yourself and everyone else and everything else...

Cherry, do you truly feel you are putting yourself above your baby?

I think its unfair to ask her that. I don't think any mother would put their needs before they baby

in cherrys post it did sound like she said she put herself before her child so i can see why this comment was made, as at first i thought the same myself

 

[better2gether]

I thought it was natural to put your baby above yourself and everyone else and everything else...

Cherry, do you truly feel you are putting yourself above your baby?

How can you ask me this?! Of course I don't. I always put Jake first and I always will. I FF for that reason. I didn't want to feel even worse than I already do. Depression is something i've had for a long time! Like people have said, a lot of women have their own reasons. x

Oh okay. So you were trying to get a rise out of someone so they would call you selfish and you would get offended? :/

Have I missed something?!

By asking someone if they think you are selfish, yes, I think you are looking to start a row. It is not needed. Can this thread get back on track?

 

[madasa]

My sis (who has never had a baby and has no opinion on bf/ff) has noticed that whenever a girl is pregnant in her office, bf-ers keep quiet and ff-ers are more vocal... I've sort of noticed the same, but it's like Jekyll and Hyde... Seems to be online that the mammary mafia let loose, like in this article.... Ofc, ymmv

I can see what your saying but when i was at work i was asked continually and when i said i wasn't sure, i was bombared with people saying 'i breastfed' etc. I heard from no one that ff - think they were too scared to admit it.

I too had this from work - "you should really breastfeed you know"

I think people just like to tell you their opinion, whether you want to hear it or not. I returned to work this week so instead of being told about breastfeeding all i hear now is why i don't leave work to be a SAHM or go part time (people don't get the concept of not being able to afford it!)

I get that not every office is a clone if my sisters! . Just something I've noticed in my area, that it's the formula mums who are more outspoken about it.

One reason that mums "should try" which is often overlooked is: you know what, you might actually find it easy, convenient and enjoyable! If you don't like bf, you can switch to ff easily... But if you start with ff, it's much harder to switch to bf, iyswim.

 

[smokey]

Selfish just means the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others Not breastfeeding for personal reasons is by defination selfish is it not? I think its cos people see words like selfish and ignorant as really derogatory words so they look past the literal meaning.

Im sorry I dont normaly get to involved in sort of thing and I dont normaly care what people call me for my choices but this does kinda make it sound like your condoning and approving of calling ff selfish and ignorant.

 

[better2gether]

Selfish just means the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others Not breastfeeding for personal reasons is by defination selfish is it not? I think its cos people see words like selfish and ignorant as really derogatory words so they look past the literal meaning.

Im sorry I dont normaly get to involved in sort of thing and I dont normaly care what people call me for my choices but this does kinda make it sound like your condoning and approving of calling ff selfish and ignorant.

AGAIN, she is not talking about women who give BF a go and it doesn't work out for them. I *think* she is talking about women who use FF from the very start. Correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[bluebaby]

My sis (who has never had a baby and has no opinion on bf/ff) has noticed that whenever a girl is pregnant in her office, bf-ers keep quiet and ff-ers are more vocal... I've sort of noticed the same, but it's like Jekyll and Hyde... Seems to be online that the mammary mafia let loose, like in this article.... Ofc, ymmv

I can see what your saying but when i was at work i was asked continually and when i said i wasn't sure, i was bombared with people saying 'i breastfed' etc. I heard from no one that ff - think they were too scared to admit it.

I too had this from work - "you should really breastfeed you know"

I think people just like to tell you their opinion, whether you want to hear it or not. I returned to work this week so instead of being told about breastfeeding all i hear now is why i don't leave work to be a SAHM or go part time (people don't get the concept of not being able to afford it!)

I get that not every office is a clone if my sisters! . Just something I've noticed in my area, that it's the formula mums who are more outspoken about it.

One reason that mums "should try" which is often overlooked is: you know what, you might actually find it easy, convenient and enjoyable! If you don't like bf, you can switch to ff easily... But if you start with ff, it's much harder to switch to bf, iyswim.

Yeah i see where you're coming from. TBH i do get fed up with people on here saying that FF'ers are lazy, uneducated etc for not breastfeeding because i know I am none of those things and I am a good mother. In everything I do in life I always put my LO first and would die for her. But one good thing about this section is that it has made me think twice about next time round. I prob will try to breastfeed my next baby (if i have one) as you said I may find it enjoyable and easy.

 

[cherryglitter]

I thought it was natural to put your baby above yourself and everyone else and everything else...

Cherry, do you truly feel you are putting yourself above your baby?

How can you ask me this?! Of course I don't. I always put Jake first and I always will. I FF for that reason. I didn't want to feel even worse than I already do. Depression is something i've had for a long time! Like people have said, a lot of women have their own reasons. x

Oh okay. So you were trying to get a rise out of someone so they would call you selfish and you would get offended? :/

Have I missed something?!

By asking someone if they think you are selfish, yes, I think you are looking to start a row. It is not needed. Can this thread get back on track?

What the hell! Im not trying to start a row at all. You asked ME if I was putting my baby before myself.

 

[cherryglitter]

Selfish just means the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others Not breastfeeding for personal reasons is by defination selfish is it not? I think its cos people see words like selfish and ignorant as really derogatory words so they look past the literal meaning.

Im sorry I dont normaly get to involved in sort of thing and I dont normaly care what people call me for my choices but this does kinda make it sound like your condoning and approving of calling ff selfish and ignorant.

AGAIN, she is not talking about women who give BF a go and it doesn't work out for them. I *think* she is talking about women who use FF from the very start. Correct me if I'm wrong.

That would be me then!!!

 

[better2gether]

You don't get it. You asked Blah11 something like, "So I am selfish for putting myself above my baby?"

I couldn't tell if you truly felt that way or meant it in an angry way, that is why I ASKED.

What the hell is right.

 

[DramaFreeMama]

Selfish just means the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others Not breastfeeding for personal reasons is by defination selfish is it not? I think its cos people see words like selfish and ignorant as really derogatory words so they look past the literal meaning.

Im sorry I dont normaly get to involved in sort of thing and I dont normaly care what people call me for my choices but this does kinda make it sound like your condoning and approving of calling ff selfish and ignorant.

I never said FF were selfish. My mother BF and my aunt FF. But my aunt TRIED to BF and couldn't. She didn't shrug her shoulders to the idea. It just didn't work for her.

To me, trying to Bf and failing is not selfish...but not BF for personal or vanity reasons is . Just like if someone choose not to take their prenatal vitamins "just because they don't want to"...that would also be selfish to me.

And i think the reason why most people feel this is just another "choice" is because they don't see it for how important it really is.

How many people in here didn't take their prenatal vitamins because it wasn't "necessary"? And how many people wouldn't honestly call them selfish? To me, its the same concept

 

[cherryglitter]

You don't get it. You asked Blah11 something like, "So I am selfish for putting myself above my baby?"

I couldn't tell if you truly felt that way or meant it in an angry way, that is why I ASKED.

What the hell is right.

Riiight. Sorry I think im just lost! I am by no means trying to start a row though.