Assisted Conception Ladies Due in Summer 2012?

[sunshine314]

Hi ladies,
So tomorrow I have my 12 week scan

Assuming all goes well, Dustin and I wanted to send out a mass update to his family. He has a big family and they are big on mass update emails.

Well, in the most recent one, one of his cousins mentioned she was pregnant and due a week after me (this was a couple weeks ago). Well, we just found out that she had a miscarriage over the weekend.

Now I don't know what to do. I am going to send out an email to all my friends who don't already know but should we hold off on telling the family? I wasn't planning on putting anything on facebook for a little while longer but I am just scared it is going to get on facebook and then they are going to be mad we didn't tell them. But I feel like it is very insensitive right now to send out an email after she has gone through a miscarriage.

Thoughts???

 

[mrssunshine78]

That's a really tough one sunshine, could you tell her separately? And say you know it's not the best time to tell her, but you'd rather she heard it from you than from someone else?

Good luck with your scan tomorrow, I'm sure everything will be perfect. I'm so worried and nervous about mine on Thursday

Xxx

 

[Michelle78]

Sunshine, good luck at your scan tomorrow, I'm sure everything will go perfectly!

As for your family's situation, that is such a tough one. I would say that if you could hold off on sending the mass email with DHs cousin on it for another week that might be best. Given that she just miscarried this past weekend, getting that email just a few days later would probably be really hard on her and may come across as insensitive. I think it's fine to limit an email announcement to DHs closest family members, and just make it known that you didn't send a mass email to everyone out of respect for what DHs cousin went through this weekend, and that you would like to give them some time before making this announcement to them. If DH is really close to his cousin, he could tell her personally after a little time has passed. I think every woman is different in how she handles things after a m/c. I know that for me, if I wasn't close to the person, I didn't want in person pregnancy announcements, since I knew the expected response was to be joyful and there were days where I just wasn't capable of that response.

I think the fact that you are showing such concern for how your announcement could affect her is awesome, and she will definitely be appreciative of that. People can say and do the most random things after hearing about a m/c, and I know that I always appreciated those who showed some concern and sensitivity to what I was going through.

 

[Harvest2009]

Sunshine-tough decision, not easy to know exactly what to do in regards to spreading the word to someone in a fragile state like your cousin. Just remember this is your time to celebrate try to enjoy it finally, I am sure with a little time to heal she will be happy for you two, always hard to know how much time is enough time though. Hope your scan goes great today, Can't beleive you are 12 weeks already! time flies
Hope eveyone else is doing well. We were planning on taking a trip down to palm springs in Feb but the Dr just told me that I should not go since I am high risk for premature delivery. And if we have no insurance in the states (travel insurance won't cover) then it could cost us big bucks if something happened. I am a little disappointed since I would only be 21 weeks at that point but I will do whatever is best for the babies of course! No appointments until the 20th for me, I am wondering how the babies are doing as I haven't been in since december and haven't felt any kicks yet.

 

[sunshine314]

Thanks for all the advice ladies I think we are going to send out an email to the aunts/uncles about our news and then let it trickle down to the rest of the cousins through their parents...this way the cousins mom can tell her and can be there to support her. We will say something in the email that we know it is sensitive given Heather's miscarriage but we want to share our good news with the family before they find out on facebook or by other means. I am also contemplating sending her a separate email...waht do you think of that? Should I do that?

Our 12 week appt went AMAZING. Our baby is perfect and was moving and dancing for us during the ultrasound. The HB is now 148 (down from 168 at the 8 week appt). We could have watched him/her all day. I still don't have any hunches one way or another on if it is a boy or girl. Our next appt is at 17 weeks...Valentines day

Harvest - I am sure your babies are just fine in there! And the 20th is just over a week away...have you decided if you are going to find out the sexes yet? So is all your ms finally gone? That is exciting! And as far as no kicks yet, it is still super early for you so I wouldn't worry about that...but they will definitely be coming soon!

MrsSunshine - GOod luck with your scan on Thursday...I bet it will be perfect

 

[mrssunshine78]

Fantastic news sunshine, you must feel very relieved

Harvest I'm sure everything will be fine with your babies at your next scan

Sunshine about your cousin, the same thing happened to me when I had my miscarriage, my cousin was two weeks behind me and it was my mam who told me, I didn't react very well at all I went mad at my mam for telling me saying I would have rathered not have known at all, I cried for a few days. But everyone is different how they'll react, I can imagine she's just feeling so raw and devastated, the best way might be to let her mam tell her. Very difficult situation

Xxx

 

[wantanerd]

Harvest, I didn't start really feeling movement until this past week. The baby was probably moving beforehand but I attributed it to gas. I have my next appt on Friday and hopefully I have a better experience with the new doctor. And hopefully sometime next week I will finally know a more accurate due date.

I am getting an antsy as you since I haven't him since the gender scan last month. I am antsy too since from week 12- until you feel kicking you are unsure whats going on in there. (I still don't know but I *think* the baby has been moving more and more the last week) I am sure everything is fine but the mother instinct is hard to turn off! But soon you will feel kicking and it will be a nice reminder until of course we have to count kicks and you worry the babies are kicking enough!

 

[Michelle78]

Sunshine, that is excellent news about your scan, so exciting!! You are almost out of the 1st tri too. I hope time is starting to move faster for you. I think your plan for how to handle things with DH's cousin is a good one. Given the situation, there probably isn't a "perfect" way to handle things since everyone reacts to things differently, like MrsSunshine said. The fact that you have put such thought into it is the best thing, and when DH's cousin starts to feel better she will appreciate your concern.

Harvest, I think I felt my 1st actual kicks just last night. They weren't very hard, but the location of them and that fact that I really couldn't figure out what else they would be, is making me think they were kicks. For the past 10 days or so I have been getting a funny sensation in my belly several times a day that I am pretty sure is the babies moving around. It almost feels like I'm on a roller coaster or something, and they are most noticeable when I am just sitting quietly. So I'm sure you will start to notice some movement in the next week or 2. I think that I had felt the roller coaster sensation around Christmas too, but I wasn't sure what it was at the time. Once it got very consistent and was happening on a daily basis I started to think that it was the babies. You may have felt them already and just not realized it. You will be so amazed at how big they are getting when you see them next! Have you decided if you are going to find out the genders? I have also been banned from travel once I hit the 24 week mark. I will be 20 weeks on Saturday, so I am going out of town for my shower this weekend, and then I am grounded at home.

Congrats on your little boy Touch!

I had mentioned this last week, but for my fellow twin moms, here is the link to the bassinet that my co-worker (a mom of 6 month old twins) recommended.

https://www.armsreach.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=3_18_1&products_id=14

It can actually attach to the bed or be used as a stand alone bassinet. My co-worker said attaching it to the bed was really helpful in the 1st couple weeks when she was recovering from the c-section because she didn't have to get up and bend over to pick the babies up to feed them when they woke up in the middle of the night for feedings.

This is all starting to get very real now!!

 

[Harvest2009]

Thanks ladies! I am sure everything is fine, I definitely still look pregnant!
Sunshine-great plan for telling the family, that is what I always do too, tell my mom some news and let it trickle down to my aunts, cousins, etc. Yes my MS is gone except for one episode last night I think I ate too rich of a meal at dinner time, back to the bland foods for me!
Wantanerd-so exciting you felt a kick! GL with the new Dr, hope it goes really well for you!
Michelle-good news you are feeling movement too! I can't wait for that I guess in a couple of weeks it will happen. That bassinet looks great! We are getting one similar that will turn into a playpen for later when they get bigger. Only thing is that the bassinet part is only good up to 15 lbs so they may only be able to sleep in it for the first month or 2. Hopefully we are ready to put them in their crib by then!
I agree, reality really is setting in, we are going to buy cribs today

 

[sunshine314]

Wantanerd and Michelle - How exciting that you are starting to feel kicks!! that is so awesome!! I am definitely jealous...I can't wait to get to that point

Harvest - You will be feeling those babies in no time Exciting that you are buying cribs...where are you getting them from?

 

[Harvest2009]

Wantanerd and Michelle - How exciting that you are starting to feel kicks!! that is so awesome!! I am definitely jealous...I can't wait to get to that point

Harvest - You will be feeling those babies in no time Exciting that you are buying cribs...where are you getting them from?

We are getting them at sears:
https://www.sears.ca/product/bily-sydney-4-in-1-convertible-crib/632-000289363-BT8679BC
We are getting them in white to match the other furniture in the room. They turn into double beds later so hopefully we get tons of use out of them! It is baby days at sears right now so we are getting a really good deal on them

 

[wantanerd]

Love the cribs! I wish I didn't have to wait until March to get mine (my mom is ordering it while I am in FL and it should arrive at Wal Mart the first week of March). I have 13 days until my month stint in FL and hopefully next week when the hubby is gone on a TDY (military trip) I can clear out the baby's room (used to be my scrapbooking room).

I am getting excited about being halfway done next week!

 

[Touch the Sky]

wow, i feel behind! we have things picked out but have only bought some clothes so far. i think most of the shopping will happen after the baby shower.

as for the kicking, i started feeling definite kicks at 16+6. in the beginning i would just feel it sometimes, pretty light. now i feel him a lot more, doing flips and dancing in my belly. what a great feeling! some days he is more active than others, and he is more active at certain points in the day too.

hope everyone is well. sorry for the lack of personals but i do read everyones posts

 

[wantanerd]

Touch, thats exactly whats going on with my son. I feel him get active at different points during the day. I mainly feel him flipping around or a few kicks here and there. He is really active when I am in Dh's car due to the vibration. He was especially active when I was watching the national championship game two nights ago. I guess that means he loves football like his mommy does =).

I had the registry done the day after we found out we were having a boy mainly because my baby shower will be at 24 weeks. Plus I am a planner and I have everything planned months before I really need to have anything. Planning a nursery and all the stuff you need is sooooooo exciting! I have been looking at stuff since I found out I was pregnant.

 

[mrssunshine78]

Happy birthday sunshine, hope you're celebrating your birthday and great scan today

Xxx

 

[chocolatecat]

Hello ladies,

Can I come join you please? There's a new thread on 1st Tri for Assisted conception mums, but I don't think it will stay around long, plus it's lovely to ready what you guys in the 2nd Tri are up to!

I'm at the 'can't stop thinking about it, why does time have to move so slowly?" phase! So desperately happy to finally be PG, but so worried about everything. I've had 3 bleeds so far, which seem to be from heamatomas, it does mean I've had 3 scans already, which is fab for seeing the baby, but is very emotionally draining.

We got to see our little one this morning, and she seems to be doing fine, despite the blood. We haven't been told the heart rate yet, but she measured 8+4 today, when I'm 8+1, so hoping thats a good sign. Instead of going to the ACU we were in the EPAU which was such a different experience, and not nearly as nice. It felt a lot scarier and I missed my regular nurses.

We get one more scan at the ACU on the 17th, then the EPAU want to see us again on the 30th, then if all is well, I'm officially over to the main maternity unit for my 12wk scan on the 10th.
It feels like a long journey to get here, but now it seems so much time ahead of us. I have an issue with my uterus (unicornate uterus), which makes me a high risk for preterm labour. I hoping they'll stitch my cervix if it's even slightly short! Though hope is probably not the right word, sounds very scary!

I guess with all the twins around here you have similar worries about preterm labour.

Hugs,
Choco x

 

[mrssunshine78]

Glad everything was ok with your scan, I've had mine today what a relief seeing both of our babies looking like babies!!! Amazing they're measuring a few days behind, but I'm not worrying about that

Xxx

 

[SquirrelGirl]

:wave: Hi there! Thanks, Harvest for telling me about this thread. I can't wait to get caught up from the beginning. Great to see some familiar ladies in here!

 

[SquirrelGirl]

Whew, that took a while, but it was great reading through all the past posts. Sounds like so many of you had the exact same symptoms at the exact same times I am, so that's very reassuring!

I have my second ultrasound on Monday (7+3). Can hardly wait!

 

[wantanerd]

Finally I have a good doctor!!!! And I have a due date that is actually based on an ultrasound and not out of thin air. Due date right now is June 7th and baby is doing well. I have my 20 week ultrasound booked for the 19th at 2. It is a relief to finally find a good doctor!