*Assisted conception ladies due Jan/Feb/March 2017*

[2have4kids]

Fern that's great news about you & DH. Sometimes emergencies can pull us together, I'm sorry it had to happen like that. Also sorry you got food poisoning. When it rains it pours!

Nimbec & ES enjoy your scans this week!

Rebecca, lovely photo of the girls.
I hope everyone else is having a great week. Yesterday was my 1st day back to work. I was mostly deleting emails and getting my system set up. Things change quickly with our software so I have some learning to do to find where some of my tools went to i'm sure they're just in a clever new location as Microsoft Office does but it definitely makes me wonder if it's my pregnancy brain not working or if I just can't figure out Adobe's cleverness lol.

 

[Myshelsong]

Fern, wow that is a lot of security. That has to keep the bad guys out. Where do you live, it sucks there is so much theft in the area. So glad you guys are giving that book a chance to open up communication.

Rebecca that is so cute, love it.

2 have, I am sure it is the system not you. If someone moves a button I am normally lost for a few weeks lol

Looks like I have a scan I forgot about I have to book for next week then the 20 week scan is coming up soon too. Excited!
So I went shopping today and it is super hot out and I hate shopping so I was crazy grumpy, but I went and got myself a burrito for lunch and my mood went from sour to .... Singing! I can't believe how happy I got just because I had something tastey in my tummy. Baby must have been super happy to get something lol.
Anyone else gone from crazy angry to happy because of food?

 

[elliecain]

Oh so much! I'm currently obsessed with toast with marmite and tomatoes. In fact, tomatoes in any form just do it for me right now. If I'm getting hangry, my DH starts chopping them up!!!

I have a scan boned tomorrow at 10am. I'm paying quite a reasonable price and it will be nice to have it done like that rather than at the EPAC because they give me time and I get a memory stick with the images on to take away. I'm not sure if I'll get to hear the heartbeat, but they should be able to tell me the bpm. I'm nervous as I'll be on my own, but I'm also really excited!

 

[rebecca822]

Fern I'm so happy things are looking better for you and DH.

2have, who is watching McKinley while you work?

Myshelsong yes!! When I have food that I've been craving or enjoy I get really excited too!!

Ellicain- so glad you have a scan tomorrow. Can't wait to hear about it and see your pictures!

Any other scans coming up soon? I guess now that we are all a bit further along there are less scans.

 

[2have4kids]

Myshelsong yes, food makes me very happy, especially when it's something I'm able to enjoy (no nausea while eating and no horrible GD after taste=happy happy!)

Ellie don't talk to me about Marmite! They banned it from Canada because of a brown dye and now I can't have it I LOVE LOVE LOVE toast, marmite/vegemite + tomatoes. I'm loving tomatoes at the moment too. I have them just with salt + pepper, fried with breakfast or roasted with other veggies. Imagine if they bsnned is from Aussie/NZ, the people would riot!

Rebecca my DH was laid off in June 2015 and has really enjoyed being home with baby. So while I'm at work he's Mr. Mom! We're ok though, he got 13 months on government unemployment insurance which is approx 1/2 his salary and then he got 6 weeks paid out holiday time plus 6 months severance. So he's ok until next Feb when I'm due with the twins. I don't think he'll get another job for even a year after that as he's very specialized in the oil industry. But we'll still be ok, there's lots in the mortgage in case we need extra dosh and I view family as much more important right now than stressing over money or saving for retirement. After my mat leave with the twins we'll worry about him getting back to work (he is currently looking of course) and get a nanny for the kids. Most people really stress over job loss but he's been quite relaxed about it lol it's more me who wishes something would just open up but I can't stress as it's not a dire situation. If we lived in a country without unemployment insurance that would be another conversation!

Fern I agree with Myshelsong, that's a shwach of security. Is there extreme poverty around where you live or teach?

 

[Pinkie3]

Sorry looks like I have missed a bit.

Fern, I am so sorry to hear what happened, how scary. And wow your security needs to be tight but glad you managed to get a lot sorted so quickly. I am also pleased to hear that DH is making an effort, I hope this is a turning point for you both.

Rebecca, I love that scan picture, it's so beautiful.

2have, I hope your first day back at work went ok and you didn't miss Mackinley too much. Sounds like you and DH have a good plan in place and if financially you are stable then good luck to you.

Myshel, food use to make me so happy but now I hate it, I am eating because I have to. I so want a burrito and be happy

Es89 and Ellie, good luck at your scans this week. Enjoy.

I know I have missed people, sorry, I hope everyone is doing ok and babies are all behaving themselves.

Not much to report from me, I have had another headache all day today which has been annoying I thought I got rid of them. DH came for a nice walk with me which helped a little even though he played in a golf comp this morning so was shattered, bless him, he is good to me.

Random question... What does one drink when they go out and alcohol is off limits? At home I have been drinking a lot of water and squash but I haven't really been 'out out' since being pregnant. I am at an all day wedding this weekend and I don't want to live on pop but water is going to get very boring. What is an exciting non alcoholic drink?

 

[rebecca822]

Wow 2have that's an amazing amount of benefits for DH. Good for him for being mr mom. I calculated that once the babies are born after I pay for full time babysitting I will come him with $300 per week. That seems like very little money after working 8 hours a day 5 days a week. Plus, since I'm working so much we are in a hire tax bracket and go no government aid and pay a ton of tax. I'm really starting to worry. Even if my DH gets a raise I still can't justify paying 2/3 my salary to my babysitter.

 

[froggyfrog]

Pinkie, virgin strawberry daiquiris or virgin pina colada are delicious. Or even a cranberry with soda and lime is yummy and bubbly and fun. Have fun!

Myshel, I get hangry too. I also get mad if I get too hot. Basically if i. Uncomfortable in any way I'm not a nice person! Poor dh!!

 

[2have4kids]

Pinkie I'm glad you asked, I found an awesome link for you/us. The Thai iced tea sounds wonderful!
https://www.buzzfeed.com/ailbhemalone/no-booze-no-problem?utm_term=.cqpeGdlvj#.qjD5vog2L

I usually have bubbly water with lime juice but that gets old after a while. Tea, hot chocolate and water at home. But these mocktails are inspiring! Love salted virgin daiquiris too.

Rebecca that's crappy. Things really are NOT set up for our society for having a family. Not only di we take a pay cut or no pay for some with our maternity leave but then we have to pay for daycare afterwards. If your work operates like mine I have to deduct my healthcare for my year off before I leave and then pdnsion gets deducted afterwards. I have $645 in deductions for last years pension and next years healthcare off each pay until my next leave and then when we get a nanny for all 3 kids it'll be $1500-2000/month plus at least $500 off each pay for pension payback. All of my friends have told me over the years that the financial burden is horrific snd you just muddle through it but my goodness, there is a mortgage to pay and food to put on the table too. For now, especislly with only one of us working out of sight, out of mind for me!

 

[rebecca822]

My favorite is a virgin mojito. Had one a few months ago while on vacation in Phoenix and I've been craving one since. Haven't been out really anywhere with a bar since then.

 

[elliecain]

I've not drunk alcohol for 12 years so I find this easy. I love non alcoholic ginger beer and most pubs in the UK now sell Becks Blue, which is a non alcoholic beer. Fizzy water with cranberry juice and a slice of lime is nice and looks pretty.
Many places serve virgin cocktails but I'm usually quite shocked at how much they charge for this.
I find that I drink far fewer drinks when I'm out than people who are drinking alcohol, as I'm only drinking to thirst. It's so cheap!

 

[Rq120]

Rebecca - funny that your babies are so close together. Mine are in different sides and it's almost impossible to get them in the same US shot. Maybe another reason to think they might be a boy and girl (Ramzi theory and all that).

Fern- I'm happy to hear that you and your hubby are working on your relationship. I hope it gets better and stronger.

 

[ES89]

Is anyone suffering with morning sickness??

 

[rebecca822]

Is anyone suffering with morning sickness??

Thankfully I'm past that stage of all day feeling queezy. Now I get bouts of nausea whenever I get hungry. I try to eat every two hours or I know I'll be sick.
I do have some insomnia... Up most nights for several hours during the night.

 

[Pinkie3]

Thanks for all the drink recommendations, there are some great ones. I just hope this venue has a good bar selection so I can get creative.

Es89, yes I suffered MS from 6 weeks and although it's easing I am still suffering now at 14 weeks. I feel like I've had a hangover from hell for 8 weeks!! Make sure you drink plenty of water and carry lots of snacks with you, I find as soon as I start getting a little empty I start feeling sick, little and often all the way.

Although the British like to moan, we do get looked after over here with regards to maternity. Unfortunately the way our benefits system work you are also better off not working or contributing to society and you get almost everything for free. It's so frustrating. I gave up my job last year to concentrate on getting pregnant and been doing some temp work in between cycles. Because of what my DH earns and the fact I won't have earned enough between a certain time period I do not get a single penny. The fact I have contributed to society solidly for the past 20 years does not get taken into account. I am just lucky enough that we can afford for me to be a stay at mum and I am hoping to use the time to train in something else that I can do from home or work for myself. That's the plan anyway. We had to make a lot of sacrifices to get pregnant but I have no regrets.

X

 

[2have4kids]

Now that I'm off prednisone, I feel sick when I get hungry and sometimes when I'm eating I have to stop. I get intense feelings that I'm going to vomit up my meal sometimes. When I can finish what I'm eating without, I'm extremely relieved. Last pregnancy the only time I barfed baby was so big the kicks had just started, I was eating lunch and she was kicking away and I just lost it. Feeling like there wasn't enough room for food and there was too much commotion for the food to stay in.

Ok, I made the Thai iced tea off the link from that website and I'm def going to try it again and with Chai tea too. It was delish!

 

[Fern81]

Ok after reading all that it seems like every country has economic pitfalls :/. At least here a lot of places give 3 months paid/ 1/2 pay maternity leave. Well as I run my own small business there will be no mat pay for me but I'm saving up so I can hopefully at least get through Nov-March. (No students mid Nov-mid Jan for me as that is our long summer holiday so I'll be on "forced" mat leave lol).

Yep it seems like a lot of security but remember this is Africa. Our security has so far been on the lower end of the spectrum compared to many other people we know. We live in a lower middleclass area but there's still lots of poverty and crime here and everywhere in RSA; our area is not classed as "high crime" trust me you don't even go to the high crime areas! Many people live in security "estates" / villages with restricted access & round the clock armed guards but that's too expensive for us. They still get robbed, mugged and attacked sometimes regardless because unfortunately, in many cases the security guards can just be bribed. Many people also live in much worse areas than we do and suffer on a daily basis :/ lots of change needed in the country. Having said that I still love many other features of RSA and I doubt we'll ever immigrate. Well, maybe.

Myshel- oh yes food wonderful food! It's like my life revolves around eating now. Will you be finding out the baby's sex then next week!? I had a dream that we are having a little girl who looks just like my sister; I keep dreaming of this same baby girl! Weird.

Ellie- hope you have a lovely scan today!

2have - how is it to be back at work? Are you super tired or glad for the change of scenery?

 

[elliecain]

My scan was amazing! Baby now measures 1.9cm, strong heartbeat and is on track for dates. I'll not post a scan pic here out of respect for those not having good results, but it's on my journal if anyone's interested.

 

[2have4kids]

Fern that's crazy about the security you need to have over there. I guess if it's the norm than it seems you just have to do what you need to do but uggg! Robberies are definitely up with the tanked economy over here and the economists said just wait until people finish their unemployment benefits and start losing their homes, you'll see a new wave of crime then.

How's it back at work? Fern my DH is great 90% of the time but Sunday night he goes out for beers with a friend and tells me he'll be back to put Mack to bed. I was up since 6:30am with her. He waltzes in at midnight, she's still not asleep but I told him I have to get up at 5:30 to work and to be home at 10pm. So I've been shattered the entire week. I've made him put her to bed every night this week and because it was his second time making that promise & breaking in in less than a week I texted his 2 buddies, 1 male, 1 female that they'll no longer be seeing DH in the evening for beers and if they'd like to see him they can ask him out during the afternoon Friday-Sunday before 6pm and NOT to accept an invite from him to go out in the evening unless they wish to contribute to a divorce. The guy friend texted back his sincere apologies the lady nothing. So I look on DH's cell and the lady texted him asking if it was me texting her and Andy said yes and asked her to forward the texts to him. She did and then he apologized for my nasty text. He also apologized that she had to see that side of me and said that I was just nervous about my first day back at work He also had deleted previous texts from her (that I had read a while ago). What's he trying to hide? So when I read that, I replied to her from his phone identifying that it's me. I told her that unlike the other fellow, who was kind enough to reply with some compassion, she had no response to my request and instead went and forwarded it to DH? So I told her that DH and I made an agreement eons ago that if we felt the other was cheating we'd divorce period. And hiding texts, lying about what time he'll be home, lying about why I was upset to her (in a 48 hour period I had 5 hours of sleep and had to put in a full first day of work-um that's a legitimate enough reason for me to request no more late night beers!). Hiding and lying in my eyes beautifully defines cheating. I don't care if it's plutonic, both of them showed me no courtesy and I wasn't asking for much. She got all bitchy with me and said that I'd push him away further and to stop texting her. I said he's doing that ALLLL by himself, I'm simply laying my boundaries and as long as DH and I are married AND she's in his life that I'll contact her whenever I d..... well please. All of my texts to her included DH. He woke up and saw the conversation and told me that this isn't a way to solve anything Like I need psychology advice from him? I said he's right, I should just get a lawyer and start the divorce. Asked him if he really wanted to be married anymore and if so why can't he show it/behave it? He suggested we talk once a day until we have all our issues sorted. I said that's great, talk with a person who's a non-communicator. And when he interrupts, what then? I asked him what he's going to do about that interrupting problem and he said we'll pass a stone when it's our turn to talk (we did this in counselling) and he'd set up 2 counselling sessions. Fine.

Then I come home his male buddy texts him asking for beers Tuesday night, I'm still shattered and wtf? Do these people really want to have a hand in our divorce? Was all that apology from his buddy lip service? So I told DH if he walks out the door I will start the proceedings and to just forget about talking & counselling. He stayed home but says he's going out Thursday night after we've talked Wed. I doubt anything useful will come out of talking Wed. Unless infront of a counselor I just can't see progress being made, and even then it's extremely slow.

Honestly, when someone interferes with my ability to parent or messes with my career. I feel the heckles come up and I immediately want to get them out of my life. I've asked SO little from DH. To spend 3 hours at the bar instead of 5. How hard is that? I don't want a divorce especially with twins on the way but I'm willing to go there if I feel he's only in this for himself. He's not working so it's not much of a loss other than the childcare for MacKinley. But I'm sure I could sort that out. I feel I will be able to handle whatever life deals me after all this infertility but I WILL NOT have MacKinley grow up seeing any man behave like this and think it's OK. He'd better get his act together or he'll lose custody of his kids as I'll fight tooth and nail for her. My one saving grace is that he loves her to bits and it would tear him apart not having her in his life. Why are men so rediculous? 90% of the time DH is fantastic and I don't think marriage is a cakewalk, it changes, morphs, and hopefully grows to get better with age. Why ruin the relationship & trust over random stupidity?

So Fern, my week has been exhausting and stressful. Work is great! But home life is full of bugs to sort. Sorry for the long rant ladies!

 

[Fern81]

Congrats on a healthy lil growing baby Ellie!

2have - you have every right to rant& vent as much as you want to, get it off your chest! Wow that is a nasty situation to find yourself in :/ men can be so randomly idiotic!? I really HOPE you guys can sort things out and that you don't need to go down the divorce route I hope the counselling helps. At least he's not hiding his phone from you or grabbing it away when it rings etc... in my experience when someone is involved in an extramarital affair they behave much more secretively, if that makes you feel any better. I wish I could pound sense into all the men in the world though. We all try so hard to focus on the positive and we are all so grateful for our pregnancies, it's totally unfair that our husbands can randomly steal our joy. Wish I could give you a hug!! Pm me if you ever need to. Xx