Questions:
1. If you used a donor (rather than your spouse), how did you find your donor
First, we went thru a lesbian-owned sperm bank in San Francisco. I regret that whole experience. It cost ALOT of money to use frozen sperm. Plus, that particular sperm bank only had tanks that would stay frozen for 5 - 7 days. It was hard to order in advance & predict when we would need it to be shipped. They wanted you to order by the first day or two of your period. It took two days to ship, so that had to figure in to the 5-7 days of staying frozen. They recommended two attempts each cycle... the day after a +OPK & again 12 hours later. We bought frozen sperm from them our first two cycles. On the second cycle... the tank lost it's "freeze" on day 5 & both vials of sperm started to defrost!!!!!! We inseminated both, at the same time, before they completely defrosted -- before we got a +OPK! Needless to say we did not get pregnant. Those two attempts (2 months/2 vials each month) cost us nearly $3,000.00. We saved up money over the next several months & tried again (another $1,500.00)... and also did not achieve pregnacy. I had some bloodwork done & found my insulin level was (is?) high. The fertility doc prescribed metformin & said that if i took the medication and lost weight i would be more fertile. I did not like the side-effects of the metformin (nausea/diarrhea) & stopped taking it after a month or so.
We then found a much more affordable sperm bank in NYC. (Not sure if i can list names of places here -- so PM me for specific information.) My very butch... and very sweet... OH has agreed to now try to get pregnant... since my insulin level was making TTC more difficult! (So unexpected & thoughtful of her!!)
We tried once from this new clinic... and their tanks stay frozen for 10 - 12 days!!! So it was much easier to get the timing right! But OH did not get pregnant on her 1st attempt. Oh, and it cost about $500 for those two vials & shipping... so...... much cheaper!
We have now started using fresh sperm from donors we met on https://www.free-sperm-donations.com/ These are guys willing to donate for free. We are just paying for the hotel... & gas if the donor requests.
2. What method(s) did you use to track ovulation
OPKs & CM
3. What method(s) of insemination did you use
Frozen sperm: They supplied the dispenser
Fresh sperm: 10ml syringe (aka medicine dispenser)
Legs in the air -- butt propped up on pillows!
4. How many times per cycle did you inseminate and what was the timing relative to ovulation (e.g. 2 days before and day of)?
Frozen: 2 attempts/per cycle - day after +OPK & again 12 hours later
Fresh: 1 attempt/per cycle -- Think we are still struggling to get the timing right! Each insem during "fertile window" & lots of EWCM. It's a bit challenging bc we need to schedule the meeting in advance (ie. reserve the hotel, arrange with the donor, miss a day of work, etc) due to the distance.
5. Logistics. Where did you meet your donor and how did the donation occur?
We are meeting him at a hotel half-way between where he lives & where we live. About a 2 hour drive each way. We meet in the lobby. He goes in the room, produces the sample... and leaves it in the room in a specimen cup... then meets us back in the lobby. We are never alone with him.
6. Did it work? If so, how many cycles did it take?
Not yet! On to cycle # 7! (4 with frozen... 2 so far with fresh... next attempt coming soon!)
7. If you used a donor, what is the relationship you have (or intend to have) with your donor?
No previous relationship. Met thru the website. Spoke thru email for several weeks. Verified his info online to ensure he was who he said he was before meeting.
Signed a contract stating no parental rights after baby is born. Also, viewed copies of recent STD/HIV health screenings.
We will be more than happy to provide periodic updates & pictures for the donor in the future.
We have two donors, one as back-up in case one isn't available. This has already been the case... so glad we found two we like, trust, & feel comfortable with.
8. Anything else you think people should know?
I have seen this method be successful quite a few times now -- it def works! Just please be careful & safe before meeting anyone. Make sure they are legitimate & genuine.
Good luck & lots of baby dust!