BFP! (begging to be fat and pregnant)

[BWilliams]

Just wanted to share this with everyone.....

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother
There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body, I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immerse power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

 

[Shey]

Aww Juniper Im sorry you're not have the best day. I hope you feel better. Im sorry bout the dreams you've had. I really hope that those dreams don't come true and that you get your and become a momma!

 

[Shey]

Brooke I think you will be an amazing mother

 

[BWilliams]

When do I stop?
When do I realize it's enough?
Why does it have to be me
who has it so tough?
There are many out there
who are evil and cruel.
Yet do You burden them
with an infertility curse?
A 16 year old delivers
a healthy baby boy
then throws him in the garbage
like some old broken toy.
A drug addict
has 3 beautiful little ones
and beats them black and blue
for nothing they have done.
A worn-out woman
with already more than she can bear
sighs dissapointedly
when she sees two lines are there.
God give me one, just one
to cherish all my days
And I promise that to You I'll give
all glory, credit and praise.
Make it stop
this intense longing and fear.
Please give me a child
that I can hold near!



Sorry Just had to share one more because i feel this way alot

 

[Shey]

Aww Brooke you will get there I have faith in you and Im hoping and praying that you get your in October.

 

[jrc10]

Haha so does he have to do it at home or on friday? My doctor wants my husband to do it but he has yet to schedule him an appt. maybe when i go in for my pre opp i can get that set up!

They said he could either do it there or he could get a cup and drive it there within the hour....he said he'd feel more comfortable doing that! haha!!!

I'm pretty excited.

Juniper - I hate when I have dreams like that. I'm sorry.

Thank you all for being sweet. I really appreciate the support, and no matter what happens, I'm not giving up.

Love you all

 

[Juniper]

Thanks guys, I am feeling better today.

 

[Shey]

Glad you are feeling better today Juniper

That's the spirit Jrc

 

[Pelle]

Wow, what news, Kat!!! I am superexcited and happy for you! Don't you wish to insert a pregnancy ticker soon? )

Bwilliams, I know it's hard, but God has not forgotten about you, dear, you will be a happy and proud Mom, you will see!

 

[Kat_F]

Pelle funny you should mention that but I won't need the ticker now!!

Hey all thanks for your support but I had my second beta test today and my pregnancy is gone... my HCG level is less than 2. So we are back to the drawing board. Now I'm just waiting for AF which should arrive any day.

My mental state has taken a battering this last week with a very light bfp and a bfn yesterday and then the result confirmed by a blood test today. Phew this really sucks. xooxoxox You reckon you are having a bad TTC day step a minute in these shoes... I'm having a strong drink!!

 

[mrskcbrown]

Pelle funny you should mention that but I won't need the ticker now!!

Hey all thanks for your support but I had my second beta test today and my pregnancy is gone... my HCG level is less than 2. So we are back to the drawing board. Now I'm just waiting for AF which should arrive any day.

My mental state has taken a battering this last week with a very light bfp and a bfn yesterday and then the result confirmed by a blood test today. Phew this really sucks. xooxoxox You reckon you are having a bad TTC day step a minute in these shoes... I'm having a strong drink!!

Kat I am so sorry to hear this! Ive had miscarriage before so I can feel the pain that you are feeling. Im praying for you today and have that drink if you need it. Do they give you prorated rates if you try again? Im so sorry.

 

[Jolene]

Oh babe, I'm sorry It's an awful thing to have to go through. How can it just be gone without AF? Would they still classify that as a chemical. With my chemical, it was AF that tipped me off. How is your DH coping?

 

[BWilliams]

Im so very sorry Kat Im at a loss for words right now i really wish i had the right words to say but sadly i don't...But i am praying for you and i wish that your dream of becoming a mother is soon fullfilled...ttc makes us such strong women and even better mothers

 

[Shey]

Kat Im so sorry for your loss! hope things get better for you and you get your again.

mrskcbrown I was at babies r us yesterday and I saw this and thought it was cute and that maybe you could use something like this for your baby
https://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a248/GothicBabe/0930150514.jpg

 

[Juniper]

Kat - I am so sorry for your loss and I am praying for you and your dh.

 

[NGRidley]

im so sorry kat

 

[Kat_F]

Hey all thanks again I'm much better today Jolene it is a chemical yep - AF arrived today so it is good I can close that chapter and prepare for the next one.

We want to try again straight away if we can, I think I have to wait for a month though to make sure my body is normal, but I see the doctor again on Wednesday and he will tell me what I have to do.

We have three more blasties frozen so my next try will be with one of the frozen embies. The cost for a frozen transfer is much less than when doing the fresh transfer and also much less stressful on my body this time because I won't be having to stimulate my follicles etc. The only downfall is that the pregnancy rate for frozen egg transfer is slightly less than fresh transfer.

So thanks everyone but really DH and I are ok... Much better it happened at 5 weeks than at 11 weeks... that would be really tough... so in a way it could have been much worse and we were very sad the other night but now am feeling like that chapter has finished and we are ready for the next one when it can happen.... there must have been something wrong with the embie that it didn't hang on.

So anyway - where is everyone else at in their cycle? xoxoox

 

[Jolene]

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better Kat I coped with my chemical really well compared to the mmc where we got to see baby and the heartbeat. We were so involved already with that one. We also accepted that there must have been something wrong with that LO and everything happens for a reason (even though we might never know what that reason is)

Can't wait to hear about your healthy little bubs. I really hope that the frozen embies are strong little fighters!

 

[mrskcbrown]

Kat Im so sorry for your loss! hope things get better for you and you get your again.

mrskcbrown I was at babies r us yesterday and I saw this and thought it was cute and that maybe you could use something like this for your baby
https://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a248/GothicBabe/0930150514.jpg

Thanks! That is the color and theme I am going for. I will look at babies r us sometime this week.

 

[Shey]

Not a problem mrskcbrown. there were so many things there with monkeys on it. they had a monkey stroller, pack n play, bed stuff, outfits, blankets and much more.