Breast feeding in public? Your views?

[meli1981]

if you look back i asked how it was impossible, only curious, and then i said, nothings impossible with an exclaimation point, not totally serious. im sorry if you misunderstood me.

 

[meli1981]

and i NEVER said you HAD to. just making suggestions, ones i knew you wouldnt take anyway. just trying to be helpful.

cos you know so much about me dont you? You do realise I have never NIP dont you?

And the suggestions you offered arent okay for us, but that is fine, we are all different.

if youve never nip, why do you feel so strongly about it?

 

[LegoHouse]

Smoking where I'm going to inhale it offends me, but I'm not about to walk upto a smoker and tell them they can't smoke because it offends me. They're not breaking the law, and they'd probably tell me to ... GFM? lol

 

[Pearls18]

and i NEVER said you HAD to. just making suggestions, ones i knew you wouldnt take anyway. just trying to be helpful.

cos you know so much about me dont you? You do realise I have never NIP dont you?

And the suggestions you offered arent okay for us, but that is fine, we are all different.

if youve never nip, why do you feel so strongly about it?

I will answer this question for myself although not directed at me because I haven't nip much- opinions like yours make me feel ashamed of trying to nip because I don't know if I am meeting people's 'discrete standards'.

 

[LegoHouse]

I want to get one of my skinny friends to wear a bikini in town whilst I discretely nurse my baby with my frumpy mum clothes on, and see which one of us gets the bad looks!!

 

[Dk1234]

nothing is difficult for me to understand, it is you who doesnt even WANT to TRY to understand others pov.

I understand your pov, I respect your pov, I don't agree your pov should apply to everybody. If you came here and said "I choose to nurse semi-privately because I am aware some people feel uncomfortable about nip which in turns makes me uncomfortable" that would be fine I would have had nothing to add to that, but you came here and said every nursing mother should make the attempt to be discrete, and then had the absurd notion to question people about their abilities to nip discretely not believing their difficulties. That is my difficulty, and no I will never agree everyone should do as you see fit, I think everybody should do what makes them comfortable.

WHERE did i say EVERY nursing mother should make an attempt to nurse discreetly? im being jumped on because i have a differing pov then everyone else. did it ever occur to you, you are making ME feel bad about how i choose to nurse! no, because you are the only ine that matters. (that was not directed only to you marine)

I came back just so you know that you aren't alone. There have been several people in this argument with your same feelings, they have unfortunately had their words twisted or misunderstood and the. Been made to feel bad about the. So they aren't on this thread anymore. Thing is its pointless to share your opinion here because they don't believe people should feel uncomfortable seeing their or anyone else's breast and therefore don't care if it does make them feel so. They can't understand why you and I would take others feelings into consideration because they believe the way others feel is wrong, and you can't change that or even make them understand that. I just wanted to come in here and say good for you for being able to be a nursing mother while still being a considerate member of society. I think it's mothers like you that will make more ground in the fight to make BFing normalized. And that's really the only reason I care about this. I'm not telling anyone they shouldn't bf how they want. I'm just sharing my opinion that I think it brings negativity to nursing in general when people show no regard for people around them and have the attitude my baby matters and no one else does. Well done you for attempting to get your point across and I just didn't want you to feel alone. I do not wish to get back into this debate. There is really nothing left for anyone to say really because everyone is just repeating themselves 1000 times.

 

[louandivy]

How is this even a debate?! People who get funny and offended by the very non-sexual sight of a womans breasts while feeding her baby are pathetic IMO. It's actually really sad seeing other women criticise mums for it, totally brainwashed by a patriarchal and inherently sexist society.

 

[LegoHouse]

nothing is difficult for me to understand, it is you who doesnt even WANT to TRY to understand others pov.

I understand your pov, I respect your pov, I don't agree your pov should apply to everybody. If you came here and said "I choose to nurse semi-privately because I am aware some people feel uncomfortable about nip which in turns makes me uncomfortable" that would be fine I would have had nothing to add to that, but you came here and said every nursing mother should make the attempt to be discrete, and then had the absurd notion to question people about their abilities to nip discretely not believing their difficulties. That is my difficulty, and no I will never agree everyone should do as you see fit, I think everybody should do what makes them comfortable.

WHERE did i say EVERY nursing mother should make an attempt to nurse discreetly? im being jumped on because i have a differing pov then everyone else. did it ever occur to you, you are making ME feel bad about how i choose to nurse! no, because you are the only ine that matters. (that was not directed only to you marine)

I came back just so you know that you aren't alone. There have been several people in this argument with your same feelings, they have unfortunately had their words twisted or misunderstood and the. Been made to feel bad about the. So they aren't on this thread anymore. Thing is its pointless to share your opinion here because they don't believe people should feel uncomfortable seeing their or anyone else's breast and therefore don't care if it does make them feel so. They can't understand why you and I would take others feelings into consideration because they believe the way others feel is wrong, and you can't change that or even make them understand that. I just wanted to come in here and say good for you for being able to be a nursing mother while still being a considerate member of society. I think it's mothers like you that will make more ground in the fight to make BFing normalized. And that's really the only reason I care about this. I'm not telling anyone they shouldn't bf how they want. I'm just sharing my opinion that I think it brings negativity to nursing in general when people show no regard for people around them and have the attitude my baby matters and no one else does. Well done you for attempting to get your point across and I just didn't want you to feel alone. I do not wish to get back into this debate. There is really nothing left for anyone to say really because everyone is just repeating themselves 1000 times.

The issue is, I'm feeding my son, there's a big fat baby head infront of my breast, you can't see any of it! They're offended by my baby being fed, not seeing my breasts, because they cannot actually see my breasts. What they're offended by, is them imagining my breasts because my son is hungry.

 

[louandivy]

And maybe you cant help that you feel uncomfortable but surely you should be rational enough to realise that is your own problem and you have absolutely no right to criticise a woman for the way she feeds her child in any way shape or form? It's so self-absorbed to think that your own prudish attitude should dictate exactly how discreetly a woman is allowed to breastfeed. God this argument winds me up so much.

 

[Pearls18]

nothing is difficult for me to understand, it is you who doesnt even WANT to TRY to understand others pov.

I understand your pov, I respect your pov, I don't agree your pov should apply to everybody. If you came here and said "I choose to nurse semi-privately because I am aware some people feel uncomfortable about nip which in turns makes me uncomfortable" that would be fine I would have had nothing to add to that, but you came here and said every nursing mother should make the attempt to be discrete, and then had the absurd notion to question people about their abilities to nip discretely not believing their difficulties. That is my difficulty, and no I will never agree everyone should do as you see fit, I think everybody should do what makes them comfortable.

WHERE did i say EVERY nursing mother should make an attempt to nurse discreetly? im being jumped on because i have a differing pov then everyone else. did it ever occur to you, you are making ME feel bad about how i choose to nurse! no, because you are the only ine that matters. (that was not directed only to you marine)

You came into this when you saw how many of us had this opinion if you read through the thread you would have known what you were getting in for. You aren't reading my posts properly, I don't care how you nurse, I care that you care how everybody else nurses. You have made it quite clear you do not agree with women 'unnecessarily' expose themselves (though haven't acknowledged not everyone can help this) and offered a list of ridiculous alternatives that suit you.

 

[meli1981]

and i NEVER said you HAD to. just making suggestions, ones i knew you wouldnt take anyway. just trying to be helpful.

cos you know so much about me dont you? You do realise I have never NIP dont you?

And the suggestions you offered arent okay for us, but that is fine, we are all different.

if youve never nip, why do you feel so strongly about it?

I will answer this question for myself although not directed at me because I haven't nip much- opinions like yours make me feel ashamed of trying to nip because I don't know if I am meeting people's 'discrete standards'.

what do you want me do? change my opinion? its not really an opinion, its just what I DO and what I feel good doing. i never said it offends me to see, nor did i say everybody should be like me. this has become more of putting words in peoples mouth to get your point across and cause more arguments.

 

[Tasha]

Well it certainly came across as serious to me.

I feel strongly because I gave up BF because I didnt feel able to nurse in public, because I cant feed discretely and there were no options for me to feed else where with two young children in tow. I couldnt stay in all the time because a) it was unfair on my children and b) I was at high risk for depression which staying in affected. So other peoples attitudes towards nursing in public means I stopped BF, no one should have to stop anything they want to continue with because of other people (unless illegal etc).

 

[LegoHouse]

Well it certainly came across as serious to me.

I feel strongly because I gave up BF because I didnt feel able to nurse in public, because I cant feed discretely and there were no options for me to feed else where with two young children in tow. I couldnt stay in all the time because a) it was unfair on my children and b) I was at high risk for depression which staying in affected. So other peoples attitudes towards nursing in public means I stopped BF, no one should have to stop anything they want to continue with because of other people (unless illegal etc).

You wait, when that rainbow baby comes along we are going out and I will personally growl at anyone who even looks funny

 

[Pearls18]

and i NEVER said you HAD to. just making suggestions, ones i knew you wouldnt take anyway. just trying to be helpful.

cos you know so much about me dont you? You do realise I have never NIP dont you?

And the suggestions you offered arent okay for us, but that is fine, we are all different.

if youve never nip, why do you feel so strongly about it?

I will answer this question for myself although not directed at me because I haven't nip much- opinions like yours make me feel ashamed of trying to nip because I don't know if I am meeting people's 'discrete standards'.

what do you want me do? change my opinion? its not really an opinion, its just what I DO and what I feel good doing. i never said it offends me to see, nor did i say everybody should be like me. this has become more of putting words in peoples mouth to get your point across and cause more arguments.

I think you should be a little more open minded, yes.

 

[Dk1234]

nothing is difficult for me to understand, it is you who doesnt even WANT to TRY to understand others pov.

I understand your pov, I respect your pov, I don't agree your pov should apply to everybody. If you came here and said "I choose to nurse semi-privately because I am aware some people feel uncomfortable about nip which in turns makes me uncomfortable" that would be fine I would have had nothing to add to that, but you came here and said every nursing mother should make the attempt to be discrete, and then had the absurd notion to question people about their abilities to nip discretely not believing their difficulties. That is my difficulty, and no I will never agree everyone should do as you see fit, I think everybody should do what makes them comfortable.

WHERE did i say EVERY nursing mother should make an attempt to nurse discreetly? im being jumped on because i have a differing pov then everyone else. did it ever occur to you, you are making ME feel bad about how i choose to nurse! no, because you are the only ine that matters. (that was not directed only to you marine)

I came back just so you know that you aren't alone. There have been several people in this argument with your same feelings, they have unfortunately had their words twisted or misunderstood and the. Been made to feel bad about the. So they aren't on this thread anymore. Thing is its pointless to share your opinion here because they don't believe people should feel uncomfortable seeing their or anyone else's breast and therefore don't care if it does make them feel so. They can't understand why you and I would take others feelings into consideration because they believe the way others feel is wrong, and you can't change that or even make them understand that. I just wanted to come in here and say good for you for being able to be a nursing mother while still being a considerate member of society. I think it's mothers like you that will make more ground in the fight to make BFing normalized. And that's really the only reason I care about this. I'm not telling anyone they shouldn't bf how they want. I'm just sharing my opinion that I think it brings negativity to nursing in general when people show no regard for people around them and have the attitude my baby matters and no one else does. Well done you for attempting to get your point across and I just didn't want you to feel alone. I do not wish to get back into this debate. There is really nothing left for anyone to say really because everyone is just repeating themselves 1000 times.

The issue is, I'm feeding my son, there's a big fat baby head infront of my breast, you can't see any of it! They're offended by my baby being fed, not seeing my breasts, because they cannot actually see my breasts. What they're offended by, is them imagining my breasts because my son is hungry.

I know you weren't here when I was debating but I didn't say women should cover. A baby head in front of your boob is fine by me. I consider that discrete. I don't however consider baring your whole breast without an attempt to cover discrete. Boob out with nipple in babies mouth showing as much as a swimsuit is fine by me and anyone else I've seen talk about discretion in here.

 

[meli1981]

nothing is difficult for me to understand, it is you who doesnt even WANT to TRY to understand others pov.

I understand your pov, I respect your pov, I don't agree your pov should apply to everybody. If you came here and said "I choose to nurse semi-privately because I am aware some people feel uncomfortable about nip which in turns makes me uncomfortable" that would be fine I would have had nothing to add to that, but you came here and said every nursing mother should make the attempt to be discrete, and then had the absurd notion to question people about their abilities to nip discretely not believing their difficulties. That is my difficulty, and no I will never agree everyone should do as you see fit, I think everybody should do what makes them comfortable.

WHERE did i say EVERY nursing mother should make an attempt to nurse discreetly? im being jumped on because i have a differing pov then everyone else. did it ever occur to you, you are making ME feel bad about how i choose to nurse! no, because you are the only ine that matters. (that was not directed only to you marine)

You came into this when you saw how many of us had this opinion if you read through the thread you would have known what you were getting in for. You aren't reading my posts properly, I don't care how you nurse, I care that you care how everybody else nurses. You have made it quite clear you do not agree with women 'unnecessarily' expose themselves (though haven't acknowledged not everyone can help this) and offered a list of ridiculous alternatives that suit you.

i dont think you are reading my posts properly. i never said i care how you nurse. i said the unneccessary exposure is from ladies leaving their breasts out AFTER feeding, nit while feeding! geez louise! and those where not ridiculous alternatives, it was very rude to said that since i use those alternatives. just another example of how others dont give a crap about others.

 

[LegoHouse]

nothing is difficult for me to understand, it is you who doesnt even WANT to TRY to understand others pov.

I understand your pov, I respect your pov, I don't agree your pov should apply to everybody. If you came here and said "I choose to nurse semi-privately because I am aware some people feel uncomfortable about nip which in turns makes me uncomfortable" that would be fine I would have had nothing to add to that, but you came here and said every nursing mother should make the attempt to be discrete, and then had the absurd notion to question people about their abilities to nip discretely not believing their difficulties. That is my difficulty, and no I will never agree everyone should do as you see fit, I think everybody should do what makes them comfortable.

WHERE did i say EVERY nursing mother should make an attempt to nurse discreetly? im being jumped on because i have a differing pov then everyone else. did it ever occur to you, you are making ME feel bad about how i choose to nurse! no, because you are the only ine that matters. (that was not directed only to you marine)

I came back just so you know that you aren't alone. There have been several people in this argument with your same feelings, they have unfortunately had their words twisted or misunderstood and the. Been made to feel bad about the. So they aren't on this thread anymore. Thing is its pointless to share your opinion here because they don't believe people should feel uncomfortable seeing their or anyone else's breast and therefore don't care if it does make them feel so. They can't understand why you and I would take others feelings into consideration because they believe the way others feel is wrong, and you can't change that or even make them understand that. I just wanted to come in here and say good for you for being able to be a nursing mother while still being a considerate member of society. I think it's mothers like you that will make more ground in the fight to make BFing normalized. And that's really the only reason I care about this. I'm not telling anyone they shouldn't bf how they want. I'm just sharing my opinion that I think it brings negativity to nursing in general when people show no regard for people around them and have the attitude my baby matters and no one else does. Well done you for attempting to get your point across and I just didn't want you to feel alone. I do not wish to get back into this debate. There is really nothing left for anyone to say really because everyone is just repeating themselves 1000 times.

The issue is, I'm feeding my son, there's a big fat baby head infront of my breast, you can't see any of it! They're offended by my baby being fed, not seeing my breasts, because they cannot actually see my breasts. What they're offended by, is them imagining my breasts because my son is hungry.

I know you weren't here when I was debating but I didn't say women should cover. A baby head in front of your boob is fine by me. I consider that discrete. I don't however consider baring your whole breast without an attempt to cover discrete. Boob out with nipple in babies mouth showing as much as a swimsuit is fine by me and anyone else I've seen talk about discretion in here.

Thank you for clearing that up



The rest of this is aimed at general public lol:


I just never understand why it is offensive if people can tell my son is feeding, but it is not offensive if my son is feeding in his carrier because no one can tell he might be.

I'm still going to feed my son everywhere and anywhere despite what people think, but it does make me sad that people thing it is dirty, and should be done in private.

(I will add that if you want to feed in private then I'm not saying that is sad, it's just people opinions towards it that makes me sad. You do what you're comfortable with)

 

[Tasha]

DK1234, you cant expect people not to reply just because you say you arent getting involved again.

I dont know how many times I have said, yes some people dont care if they make people uncomfortable, perhaps because they feel this will change society. They might not be right in their opinion but then you might not be right in your opinion that being discrete will change things. None of us know for sure.

And some of us DO care but we have no other choice.

You wait, when that rainbow baby comes along we are going out and I will personally growl at anyone who even looks funny

Made me smile, thank you. I seriously am coming round to you for my first NIP experience

 

[louandivy]

How many women just leave their breasts hanging out for hours after feeding? In how many seconds do they have to put their boobs away before you start feeling offended?

 

[meli1981]

nothing is difficult for me to understand, it is you who doesnt even WANT to TRY to understand others pov.

I understand your pov, I respect your pov, I don't agree your pov should apply to everybody. If you came here and said "I choose to nurse semi-privately because I am aware some people feel uncomfortable about nip which in turns makes me uncomfortable" that would be fine I would have had nothing to add to that, but you came here and said every nursing mother should make the attempt to be discrete, and then had the absurd notion to question people about their abilities to nip discretely not believing their difficulties. That is my difficulty, and no I will never agree everyone should do as you see fit, I think everybody should do what makes them comfortable.

WHERE did i say EVERY nursing mother should make an attempt to nurse discreetly? im being jumped on because i have a differing pov then everyone else. did it ever occur to you, you are making ME feel bad about how i choose to nurse! no, because you are the only ine that matters. (that was not directed only to you marine)

I came back just so you know that you aren't alone. There have been several people in this argument with your same feelings, they have unfortunately had their words twisted or misunderstood and the. Been made to feel bad about the. So they aren't on this thread anymore. Thing is its pointless to share your opinion here because they don't believe people should feel uncomfortable seeing their or anyone else's breast and therefore don't care if it does make them feel so. They can't understand why you and I would take others feelings into consideration because they believe the way others feel is wrong, and you can't change that or even make them understand that. I just wanted to come in here and say good for you for being able to be a nursing mother while still being a considerate member of society. I think it's mothers like you that will make more ground in the fight to make BFing normalized. And that's really the only reason I care about this. I'm not telling anyone they shouldn't bf how they want. I'm just sharing my opinion that I think it brings negativity to nursing in general when people show no regard for people around them and have the attitude my baby matters and no one else does. Well done you for attempting to get your point across and I just didn't want you to feel alone. I do not wish to get back into this debate. There is really nothing left for anyone to say really because everyone is just repeating themselves 1000 times.

thank you so much! its so hard to debate alone! i feel the exact same as you, and thank you so much for your kind words. this thread has kinda made me feel like a monster!