Breast is not best, language, guilt and lactivism musings

[leelee]

I have no desire to join a group of similar moms either. My friends already know I'm weird no matter what I do. It's not my intention to become a professional mommy (although a noble career), so in a few years I'll have nothing in common with breastfeeders and co-sleepers and attached parents and although I agree with natural parenting for now, the whole rest of the lifestyle that seems to come with natural parenting doesnt agree with mine. I enjoy living luxurouriously and don't have the time or discipline for the natural hippy lifestyle, but I admire those who do.

I think that is why I like to be around similar Mums - this is a long-term lifestyle for me (at least another 5+ years) and after 'losing' my first set of Mummy friends at 6 months when everyone went back to work, I wanted to find a group who would be around for the long-term. My first role is being a Mum, and I find a lot of people don't get/accept/like that, but with natural parenting circles I feel valued.

I have to say, I like to be around similar Mums (although not all my friend's parent in exactly the same way I do) because I don't want to listen to people talking about things like CC and CIO or how their baby is 'manipulative' because they have learnt that when they cry they get picked up. (which surely is a good thing?!)

Each to their own and all that, but it's not something I want to be around.

I think it depends. If I went to a mother & toddler group and they had very different views to myself then I probably wouldn't go back, as I wouldn't have much common ground. It is different with regards friends though, as I was friends with a lot of them before we had babies. In some ways we parent differently, but we all love our babies and want to do what is best for them.

My cousins would parent differently to me, wouldn't consider BF, would wean early and would use CC or CIO (if they felt they needed to). However, they are nice people and love their children so although I don't agree with everything they do, it wouldn't prevent me from spending time with them.

Myself and my friends don't tend to spend a lot of time discussing parenting styles though, as we don't label ourselves. If we have an issue we will ask for advice. But, in general, we respect each other as parents.