Bump, Flushes, Dimples and Beyond [closed]

[Fish&Chips]

Aww I bet the accent is super cute! Hope the opening heals quickly for you. X

 

[MrsMils]

Hi lovely girls! Thank you for all of your thoughts and wishes! We came home on Friday afternoon, probably not quite ready to leave but desperate to have a night where hubby could hold V so I could get some sleep - I did 4 nights straight with no sleep because of the hourly Diabetes testing/pump and then a baby that will only sleep if she's in my arms!

I had an elective section, which I was really worried about, but it was nice in the end, I got the screen dropped and had skin to skin with V while still on the table and then in recovery. She's quite adorable, very different to J! J is taking her time to adjust, she loves V but is certainly upping the tantrums etc, its quite distressing to see her like that, but I'm sure she'll be better in a few days when things get back to normal in terms of routine etc.

Lia - I hope the wound heals quickly, you poor thing, I had my stitches out today and am terrified of couging/sneezing! I've got a very bad back, which is stopping me from overdoing it, but frustrating at the same time!

Ann - It really is wonderful the second time around, I'm taking it all in so much more and enjoying this stage (which now seems so much easier than it did with j!). You'll be fine, I felt completely unprepared this time, but it hasn't actually mattered, I'm certainly more laid back than I was last time.

Right, it sounds like a nappy has just been filled, so I'd better go and take V out of her spot in the sun (jaundiced) and sort it out. Hubby is rushing trying to do groceries while J is sleeping, if she wakes then I'm going to have to be all out entertainer to keep her occupied in her cot until her gets back, this could be a complete school-boy error on our parts!!

Will catch up with you all asap, xxx

 

[Piperette]

Lydia, great to hear you are back home and enjoying some family time. Hope J will get used to having V around soon. You mentioned that V is very different to J, in what way? Loving the latest pics of her.

 

[Fish&Chips]

I had a growth scan yesterday and it seems like this one will also have a big head. I'm really gutted as I was so hoping he would be different as my bump is so much smaller. Harry got stuck last time due to his big head hence the c section. I was really hoping for a vaginal birth this time so that I could experience it just once and recover quickly. I'm still going to try for it but I feel a bit deflated. What doesn't help is that at my last appointment I was told they would give me the freedom to move and not get strapped up to the monitors but yesterday the mw said it's not possible. Ughh.

 

[moggymay]

 

[Piperette]

Sorry to hear things aren't working out the way you were hoping, Ann.

 

[moggymay]

Ann much as I know you want to experience a vaginal birth have you considered the positives of an elective section? Just wondering if it might be preferable to a vaginal birth that isnt "yours". It sounds as if they are going to keep you closely monitored and in a way which isnt necessarily going to allow you to have control....if neither way is in your control I wonder if the benefits of the section with regard to timing and looking after Harry etc might be bringing it back into contention

Im not suggesting you should have a CS because the docs say you should but more that you should weigh up the desire for a vaginal birth with the vaginal birth they will allow if that makes sense?

Whatever you decide Im behind you 100% and reporting for induction text buddy duty as I did with Lia to help keep your spirits up should you want me

What does D think?

 

[Fish&Chips]

To be honest I feel let down that I didn't have a vaginal birth last time, almost like I failed iykwim? I know it's not rational but I worry that if I have an elective I will never feel like I achieved what most women do. Also the risks of a c section birth vastly outway the risks of a vaginal birth and the recovery is quicker for both the baby and me.

I guess I'm angry that I'm not being given a fair chance. There is no medical evidence to state that being monitored etc doesn't reduce any of the risks of the scar rupturing. It just sounds like the MW I spoke to yesterday is stuck in her ways and not open to the knew ideas being suggested. Even the NCT website supports it.

The big head thing was just another kick in the teeth. When I first discovered I was pregnant I did wonder if I would go for an elective if the baby had a big head but I still want to give it a try.

I've just left a message for my MW who was really supportive of me so we'll see what she says. xx

 

[moggymay]

Sounds like you are approaching it in the best way, the supportive MW will be able to be more positive I would hope, maybe she can speak with the hospital and they can agree with you what level of mobility they will allow and what level of monitoring they feel necessary....wierd thought but surely the head being bigger for the second baby is usual as subsequent babies are "usually" bigger than their siblings....there was 4lbs between Mogster and Pickle and his head was defo bigger, surely the body is designed to cope....?

Hope the MW is helpful and helps you get your birth the way you want.

FYI You havent failed by having a c section, you havent let H down or D down or yourself down, you should be proud that you gave birth to a handsome, happy and healthy boy, he is a credit to you and your body for growing and nurturing him for the whole pregnancy, he came out healthy, doesnt matter if he came via the sunroof or the door. I understand you feel you have though and the desire to have a vaginal birth is natural but their are always "I wish" and "what if" feelings afterwards.

If I were doing it again the one wish I have is that I could have a baby that comes out and cries without intervention. What is wrong with me that my babies need a roomful of people to come running to help them take their first breaths Why couldnt I help them to do that? It was the one thing on my birthplan for Pickle that I was adamant about that I didnt want a roomful of people like we had had to have with Mogster due to him coming a month early....it wasnt to be though and sure enough out came the head and the emergency buzzer was pressed again....I can wish the birth experiences were different but I cant change them, instead I can focus on my fabulous boys and try not to dwell on what might have been if I could have done differently.

Forgotten my point to an extent but I think Im trying to say that you havent failed them and you will never fail them so long as you do what is best for them and you love them and help them grow the best you can. H is a credit to you and I know no 2 will be too

 

[Piperette]

FYI You havent failed by having a c section, you havent let H down or D down or yourself down, you should be proud that you gave birth to a handsome, happy and healthy boy, he is a credit to you and your body for growing and nurturing him for the whole pregnancy, he came out healthy, doesnt matter if he came via the sunroof or the door.

Wise words, Moggy, I couldn't have put it better myself. I understand that you wish to have a vaginal birth, Ann, but please don't stress yourself out about it. The main thing is that your little baby comes into the world as safely as possible. And having a CS certainly does not mean you failed anyone or in any way.

 

[Jetters]

Just jumping on quickly to say... Ann, don't be disheartened. Your body is made for babies and although H got stuck that absolutely doesn't mean it will happen again. You know what to expect now- your body does too- there is so much research that shows first time mums basically go into shock during labour, of sorts, as it's such an assault on all the senses. And as we all know, ANY nerves or fears or terror of any kind makes it all the harder to get those babies out. This time round you will be the pro- you are braver and experienced and won't have the insane fear that all expectant first time mums have.

You can totally, absolutely do it. And if you can't and end up having a section, So What? Take it from a mummy who has had a vaginal birth- there's no badge or medal to be won here. I am not belittling your feelings at all I promise, my best friend who also had a section feels the same as you- I just want you to know I didn't achieve anything you didn't! Getting healthy babies out safely is what matters, not the journey. And goodness knows there is nothing easy bout a section... I've seen OBEM!!! Bloooooody hell!!!! Your body goes through a trauma like no other, and the recovery is so much worse too.

I also feel I must say a vaginal birth was horrendous for me and the recovery was disgustingly awful and I bitterly regret not taking the section they were trying to force on me now, in hindsight, and if I ever had another I'm definitely having a section, no doubt about it. SORRY I know that sounds awful but I experienced things I never want to again!


AAAAANYWAY long drawn out way of saying whatever happens, as long as you're holding that baby in your arms at the end, that's what matters. I think you're really brave going for a VBAC and I know if you WANT to do it, you can, you are the master of your body and have the upper hand now.xxxx

 

[Jetters]

p.s Pip probably long too late but I saw those boots in Next yesterday and they were all different. VERY different just like your pic. Did you send them back??

 

[Jetters]

p.p.s what Moggy said cos she said it brilliantly!!! We all wish different things for our births, but we've been so blessed to have beautifully healthy babies. There are many tragic tales as we all know of families who aren't so lucky so i'm counting our blessings.


Alsoooooooo what are their reasons for being on your back/monitored? Fight it if you can. Being on my back was so horrid, Obviously I couldn't fight it cos I had the heart monitor in my chest and I think it would have all been so different if only I could have got off my back or moved at all. x

 

[Fish&Chips]

Thanks ladies. You talk so much sense

Yas, that's my main issue. I was on my back last time and it's well known that it's the worst position to be in for delivery. The reason is that they believe the first sign of the scar weakening is a change in the baby's heart rate. I was told the alternative was to be checked with a doppler every 15 mins but the mw yesterday said a lot can happen in 15 mins so it's not an option. The last midwife told me that actually the first sign is pain in the scar and also read that unless someone is watching the monitor constantly then there is no difference. Plus the risks are not as bad as they publish.

I have always said that if it ends in a c section then I wouldn't beat myself up about it but I am upset that my wishes are being ignored more than anything. I know that it may be horrific if I do deliver vaginally (big heads run in dh's family and my nephew gave my SIL 3rd degree tears) but I'm going to give it my best shot just so that I know I tried. I've been doing everything within my powers to help my chances - pregnancy yoga, relaxation etc

You are right, I do have a beautiful 2 year old and he is happy and healthy and I'm incredibly grateful for that. I also am so lucky to be having another.

Moggy, Don wants me to have an elective as he hated seeing me in pain but above all he wants me to have whatever makes me happy.

xxx

 

[Fish&Chips]

Oh yes Moggy I knew there was a big chance of another large head but as I'm measuring so much smaller than last time I was hopeful and my sister's 2nd baby was much smaller.

 

[moggymay]

Hmmm...anything from the MW? Really dont know what to say other than trust your own body and instincts and dont be afraid to stand up for what you want or to change your mind...would also think about the period after the birth, 3rd degree tear is horrific and may be harder to recover from than a CS.

I kind of agree with D but also want you to get the birth you want so will be with you 100%, fingers reporting for virtual crushing

 

[Fish&Chips]

Thanks lovely. No word from the midwife yet. xx

 

[moggymay]

try to focus on the point a week after the birth when youre snuggled up at home with all your boys

 

[pinkandfluffy]

Quickie - Ann does your hospital hve wireless monitors? Ours had one but it wa being used already lol. However I would add that my midwife was awesome in helping me change position despite being on the monitor. She helped me get onto a ball and be mobile next to the bed. So you may still be able to move a bit? I must say I was gobsmacked how much the tens helped.

Also - when I did get mobile baby didn't like it after a while (once on drip too) so I did end up lay down but it was for bubs so I felt a bit better about having to do that.

My birth with D was also pretty okay in the end once I'd had the epidural, I'd do that again over a C-sec as the recovery is no fun - sorry I'm rambling tired but wanted to send love lol.

Lydia hope you are doing well - gorgeous babba!!!

Lovely ladies hope you are all wonderful too - I'm tired - and have contact lenses in today so can't see anymore hahaha xxxxx

 

[Fish&Chips]

Thanks Lia. Yep like your hospital they have one set and they will try and priortise it to vbac women. Thanks again, your experience is great to hear. xx