"but you need a night off!"

[Margerle]

For DH and I it's 'time spent' factor.

I have spent 99% with LO and though he's around, he tends to be very distant. If she cries, she's automatically "hungry" and I get baby back.

He's just not comfortable around babies. They are fragile things, and though he is loving and gentle, he's not very confident.

Now, when she's 3 and up, I'd wager he'll be MUCH more involved, and able to interact and comfort. lol

My boss and my younger brother are completely opposite though, they have lots of confidence around infants, and can settle baby even though each have only held her a dozen or so times. I think it entirely depends on the daddy and his comfort level.

As far as leaving Sharlotte, I find it extremely difficult. I was the same or worse with my first, and I have to tell myself to chill when others want to have her.

In fact, DH, DD#1 and I went to a local Vietnamese place for dinner yesterday. We are probably considered regulars, though we don't go but ever couple of weeks or so. Anyway when our food came, the lady owner asked in her broken Englilsh if she could help with baby... in other words hold her while I ate. Though I was thankful for the offer, adn did let her take LO, I've never eaten so fast in all my life and I could barely keep from staring over at her making sure LO was alright.

She has a 1yo herself that toddles around the restaurant so I knew to trust her from a logical perspective, but it seemed awfully personal to just hand over my baby...

 

[Eelis]

My first time away from baby she was about a month old. My OH and I went to Tesco's to do some shopping whilst my mum was at our house with baby. It was quite liberating and even slightly romantic lol.

It did feel weird though, being out without her, I felt like i'd forgotten something the whole time. I still feel like that now if I am without her.

I guess it depends on you, your family and the people you are close to, and who you trust.

I would encourage you to leave your baby now and then. But not with someone you are uncomfortable with because it IS hard even when it's someone you totally trust. And never because someone else thinks it's the right thing for you to do.

Like everything with babies everyone else is such an expert and has an opinion.

There is plenty of time for going out again and all that stuff you did pre-pregnancy, no reason not to spend those precious early months making the most of your littleun. I know I did.

Whenever someone is doing my head in with baby advice I always think to myself (and sometimes say to them) "you may be an expert with babies/children but no one knows my daughter better than me".

I was quite suprised at some of the comments with regard to OH and baby. I guess depends on your OH and your relationship as a family.

I found it hard in the early days so I do sympathise with some of the comments, I was BF too and would often take baby off him when she was upset or he was (in my opinion) doing it all wrong.

But by constantly taking her off him all the time I made him feel like he was failing at daddy stuff and couldn't cope with her. He eventually talked to me about it (I had no idea how he felt) and I realised I was being a bit OTT and had to take a step back.

I had to learn that it doesn't matter if he can't stop her crying as quickly as me or puts the nappy on wrong or dresses her in the wrong way (he still does this one now, I find her in all sorts of weird clothing combinations when i get home lol) the important part was me giving him the space to learn how to do the things that just came instinctively to me. And to give some "constructive" criticism and "suggestions" now and then!

We now have an even split on care for Aeryn. He's always wanted to be helpful and "hands-on" and I'd say he probably does a lot more than a lot of Dads who are happy to leave it all to Mum. He actually has her to himself all weekend becuase I work Saturdays and Sundays. They have loads of fun together and are always going on fun days out without me lol

I'd say do what you think it best at the end of the day, but it's worth taking a step back now and then