Can I do this on my own? My Journey of being a single mom

[OnErth&InHvn]

well i got some answers! I can take my doggy I can move in with less than stellar credit and no income. But....the eviction may be a sticking point. So I am going to include an add on to my application that explains it. maybe if im up front and honest now, they will take that into consideration. I have nothing to hide. I didnt pay my rent (due to DH not keeping a job- thus my leaving) and we got evicted.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

well I applied. 6mo-1yr for a 3bedroom !!!!

But...the kicker? My old landlord will cause me hell.
I asked him for an address to put on my application and honest to God he wrote back:

"are you going to be honest and tell them how you brought in additional animals that cost me more in damages than you paid in rent?"

Good grief, I wrote him back and told him that I was honest on my application, that I am leaving my husband and bringing 1 and only 1 animal and any others were my husbands problem, not mine.

So I wrote the new landlord and told her he may not give the whole picture and asked if she wants real, good, rental history references. we seriously, did not have ANY rental trouble until the money hungry, rude guy.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

well another fight with DH, then hes writing me love letters and then gets on his Facebook and writes how im leaving him all alone.
Then his aunt, who i thought was on my side gets after me for making him feel like crap.

WTH? He cant keep a job, he isnt there for his children or his wife, we dont have our own place, we dont have money, last week we didnt have a car and yet you want to take HIS side?!

 

[aliss]

Good luck to you You are doing what my mom did, only she waited until 33 years of marriage. It's good to be free now. I wish she had done it sooner. You have 3 kids, no need to take care of a 4th big one. Sounds like you are doing the right thing.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Good luck to you You are doing what my mom did, only she waited until 33 years of marriage. It's good to be free now. I wish she had done it sooner. You have 3 kids, no need to take care of a 4th big one. Sounds like you are doing the right thing.

Thanks. It helps to have encouraging words.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Well, I got a letter in the mail from section 8, they want DSs SSN card in 90 days and they also expect a 12-18 month wait! I also found out they dont approve or deny you UNTIL your name comes up.

But I went to a MOPS (Mother Of Preschoolers) Sale today and a great lady there use to live where i want to move and told me about some great resources.

Im back to waiting I guess. I could apply where I am now but i really dont want to live in the state/area i do now. I want to move some place new and different, plus the new place will be better overall for the kids especially.

Im hopeful though. Im nervous, but im hopeful. Im keeping my ticker because i really believe in about 6mo theyll call and tell me im ok to move. I hope.

 

[littlekitten8]

Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job hun. Its the hardest decision in the world to walk away from the father of your children. But you are doing the right thing. Fingers crossed that you get somewhere soon.

 

[angelpkj]

Maybe a trial seperation will give him a kick up the arse he needs? See where it goes from there. Your right you and your kids cant keep going through this. Sorry im not much help, good luck xxx

i was so upset when me and FOB split
but shortly after we split he lost his job and his life started gettin worse and all i could think is

thats not my problem anymore
i dont have to worry about working my backside off to pay bills and support us both
it was a massive relief and i think it made FOB realise he needed to stand on his own feet and sort his life out and not rely on me

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Maybe a trial seperation will give him a kick up the arse he needs? See where it goes from there. Your right you and your kids cant keep going through this. Sorry im not much help, good luck xxx

i was so upset when me and FOB split
but shortly after we split he lost his job and his life started gettin worse and all i could think is

thats not my problem anymore
i dont have to worry about working my backside off to pay bills and support us both
it was a massive relief and i think it made FOB realise he needed to stand on his own feet and sort his life out and not rely on me

Im glad to know others have been through this too. I sort of felt selfish in a way, but i know its for the best.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

and now there is a police officer standing at my door accusing DH of stealing a credit card from my grandpa in law.

Seriously, I want to RUN AWAY!

UPDATE: that was taken care of. Apparently a family member blamed DH. Good grief.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Any who, now DH has a job interview Thursday. Yay for getting a job possibly, but he wont keep it so i wont hold my breath.

** and I also found a possible support group for me!
Its a 13wk group and they are on wk5, but its 6 people and apparently a really good group.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

well im going to apply to at least 1 more place today, maybe 2.

its closer to where i am now, which stinks because i wanted to move out of state.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

applied at a 3rd place. 1yr waiting list and my rent will be 0 and theyll pay $80 of my electric bill. They also dont care about my past eviction!

 

[littlekitten8]

Yay so glad your getting things sorted out hun

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

nothing new to report. Kind of boring the last few days. I think i am going to start on a rough draft of the Separation papers though since itll be "trial" until i file legally.

 

[littlekitten8]

Sounds good. I didn't even know you had to do seperation papers. Don't think we do over here.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Sounds good. I didn't even know you had to do seperation papers. Don't think we do over here.

Here you can:
-Move out and be "separated" but youre still legally married
-File for Legal Separation where you see a mediation court/and or judge and separate. It is different than a divorce.
-File for Dissolution. Where everything has to be divided equally and you have to agree on everything...if you cant you then do the next option below....
-file for divorce.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

today on the way home from the store, with DH driving a Sheriff pulls behind us, runs the plates and pulls us over. Luckily he some how didnt bring DH in for his 2 warrants or suspended license. By some miracle. I should be thankful.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

and then this morning a Sheriff came knocking on the door at 8 this morning and DH didnt answer the door. As far as I know, i am not in trouble with anyone... I need a major door to open because i cant keep going through this.
On top of this, since he hasnt had a job, we are running out of money and now we are wondering how we are going to pay the little bills we are required to pay. He had a job interview earlier this week he could of had and SHOULD of had....know how he screwed it up? Not showing up to it on time!

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

well the good news was the sheriff has nothing to do with DH, but it was for his grandpa- he has 28 days before the bank is granting the foreclosure on the house and then we are homeless. How wonderful. im not mad at Grandpa in Law, Im mad at DH because he wont get or keep a job! He had another job interview last week, they havent called him back yet, i dont think they will. A Landscaping company said they dont want him either.

so now we are down to the wire again, with no money, no place to go, and no way out....again for the billionth time. We have about 2 months before the bank tells us to actually get out. (they will grant the foreclosure in 28d and then they have to auction the house and at that point well be kicked out) and i swear to goodness if he doesnt have a plan by then, im moving to live on my moms lawn or a hotel, somewhere WITHOUT him until i get this section 8 stuff figured out.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

well he got a job, starts Tuesday....he needs to KEEP it!