Can't admit to anyone else...

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by MemmaJ, Oct 29, 2016.

  1. hello_kitty

    hello_kitty Well-Known Member

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    I agree with you Kat. I did not have postpartum depression with either boys, by the time he came everything fell into place, and I am sure it will be the same with this one. However, I cant stop myself from feeling a tad bit sad when I see girl clothes, or an infant baby girl dressed in pink or a pretty dress. This baby is destined to be a boy, I cant change that, but I am already paranoid about the future because we wanted 4 regardless so I still have hope but that hope seems so slim. It doesnt help that dh really, really wanted a girl before we found out. My boys are completely mama's boys and he wants to experience a daughter/father bond for a change and I couldnt give him that. I know it was his sperm that determined the sex and its not up to me etc, but when I see people with a different gender by the third child (and trust me most people I know have the opposite gender by the third kid) and I just dont understand why it didnt happen to me.
     
  2. Tess08

    Tess08 Well-Known Member

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    I think I would have to disagree with you there to an extent Mrs H. I do agree that if these feeling etc are still there when baby is born and it affects our way of being able to form a bond then absolutely go and speak to someone about it but I don't think there's anything wrong with these feeling of disappointment when you pictured something so clearly in your mind and then in an instant it is snatched away from you. I say this because 8 weeks ago when I found out I was having a boy I felt all the same things as these ladies are describing now. Sadness, struggling to look at boys clothes, worrying about how i would feel when he was born etc but over the past few weeks ive slowly came to terms with it and now I feel fine about it all so I think in most cases, a bit of time to adjust to the idea is all you need. Don't get me wrong, I still think boys clothes are rubbish in comparison with girls as everything just seems to be the same shape but in a different colour as opposed to all the different types of dresses/outfits you can get for girls but I wouldn't say it upsets me anymore. Just makes me a bit annoyed at baby clothes companies for not making more interesting boys clothes lol. So in my case it didn't take me having to speak to a professional to accept it, it just took some time for me to get a new picture in my head x
     
  3. hello_kitty

    hello_kitty Well-Known Member

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    Tess08, yes its mostly the boys style that's so upsetting. I mean, I do love all my boys, but the styles are the same except for it being a different color. After 2 boys, I have became bored. The first time around, we wanted a boy and it was my first time shopping so I found everything cute, by second baby, I still had some interest, and this third time? He's gonna wear most of his brothers clothes lol. Not because I love him any less, but honestly I was looking through some of the clothes I have and they are no different then whats in stores right now...some may even be cuter.

    While girl clothes follow a trend by the time they are 2, boy clothes are just same old shorts, t shirts, button ups, pants really no variety.
     
  4. Tess08

    Tess08 Well-Known Member

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    Yip, completely agree! There just isn't as much variety. I mean I have definitely looked at some things and said aww that's cute, but I remember going shopping for my daughter and thinking omg I need to buy this!! Whereas that hasn't happened for me with the boys clothes yet. I don't have any other boys but my sister has a 9 month old boy and I'm pretty much just taking all of his old things for this one because like u say, the things in store right now might have a different slogan or print on them but the style and shape are the exact same so I don't see the point in wasting lots of money x
     
  5. kat132

    kat132 3 boys

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    Talking about it and time is what i need. everyday i feel better, everyday i feel more excited about meeting him. i keep thinking what he will be like. my eldest looks just like me and my side of the family my soon to be middle one :) is just like his dad and their side of the family.one had straight hair one had curly, what will this one look like?? i cant wait to find out. What will he like to do etc etc.

    I know that my feeling of wanting a girl last time and this time have been strong but i think i am getting over it a lot quicker this time than the last.

    I hear all the time, boys find a wife and go, where as daughters stay. this is rubbish. My brother loves being with my mum and dad, 3 of my cousins all go to the mans parents house, not the wives. there are many other cases of this now days. if you hold your sons close they will stay close to you as they get older. i plan to do this with all 3 of mine . :hugs:
     
  6. MemmaJ

    MemmaJ Well-Known Member

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    Thank you :)
    It definitely didn't go ok, haha! Still feeling a bit ropey but much better than I was! I'll post a pic later, obviously I am biased but she is absolutely adorable :)
     
  7. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    Aww she's beautiful. Congratulations!
     
  8. 3boys

    3boys Well-Known Member

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    She's stunning. Do you mind me asking why she was born early? Did you just go into labour early?
     
  9. hello_kitty

    hello_kitty Well-Known Member

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    She's adorable! My last baby was born at 35+4 as well! How long did they have to keep her?
     
  10. MemmaJ

    MemmaJ Well-Known Member

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    She was born 23.03 Sunday evening and we went home first thing Thursday morning, so only just over 3 days!

    I didn't go into labour - I was induced due to sudden and significant reduced fluid around her, and partly because I was having strong tightenings too (had been since 24 weeks) which posed further risk with the reduced fluid.
    I was working right up until the day I was admitted to hospital - I went from working a shift, to being scanned by the consultant at the end of my shift, to being admitted!
    I won't bore you all with my birth story as it'll probably be quite long, but basically it all started OK but ended with a serious emergency situation. Thankfully she arrived very swiftly after it all went wrong, so I just managed to avoid being put to sleep for a 'crash' C Section.. :-(
     
  11. Mrs.H2016

    Mrs.H2016 Well-Known Member

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    She is beautiful! My son was 34.2 when he was born, so I'm hoping for this one stays in there. How are you feeling? Did you need a section at all?
     
  12. sil

    sil Well-Known Member

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    She is beautiful! You'd never know she was 5 weeks early looking at her. I'm so sorry your birth didn't go according to plan. I am glad that you and Bettie are doing okay now
     
  13. MemmaJ

    MemmaJ Well-Known Member

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    Thank you all for your lovely comments!

    No I went from 4cm to fully dilated in 2 minutes, so I just pushed for my life and she was out another 2 minutes later (so 4cm to birth in 4 minutes).
    With what was happening at the time and me only being 4cm, I was being prepped for a Crash section as it was life-threatening for both of us (more for her) - but it all happened so quick after that, that we avoided it thank goodness.

    I'm feeling OK physically, mentally I'm pretty traumatised.
    I've seen the midwife today and she suggested I may have a bit of PTSD and has referred me for counselling about it.

    One more pic because I can't help it, haha!

    https://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a231/mumtotwins/10AAC6AD-92F9-48E8-AFC8-957EE7CFBF4B_zpsxjdzicqs.jpg
     
  14. Mrs.H2016

    Mrs.H2016 Well-Known Member

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    Omg she is so beautiful.
     
  15. Mrs.H2016

    Mrs.H2016 Well-Known Member

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    Omg she is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing
     
  16. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    She's beautiful :)
    I'm sorry the labour was so traumatic. I hope that the counselling helps :hugs:
     
  17. 6lilpigs

    6lilpigs Well-Known Member

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    She is goooreous!! That pic is not helping my broodiness one bit xxxxx
     
  18. 3boys

    3boys Well-Known Member

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    she is just so adorable!!!


    afm, i had an anatomy scan today i didnt tell them that i had other techs say girl and they told me im having a healthy baby girl. Cant explain the excitement and i think all the gd in the past just makes it extra special.
     
  19. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    Congratulations!
     

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