child benifits UK girls....not good news

[jenniferannex]

Also, for all of those using the excuse about 'having to wait till my kids are at school" It sounds a bit pathetic. So many inspiring women on this forum, that use their loaf ( as my dad used to say ) and get creative. Make cakes, make things from home e.t.c to keep the funds coming in. I could not sit on my ass for 4-5 years doing sod all. I would literally go crazy.

i certainly do not sit on my ass all day my children are hard work dont know abut you!.....u have all completely ganged up on me as if i am lowlife scum yes there u have made me feel like scum im actually crying here....sorry for my husband working and failing and sorry for me people a lazy mum

im sorry country girl but i feel in no way at all we have ganged up on you and called you scum
i also feel that post is a little attention seeking. no one called you a lazy mum or said anything about your husband.

 

[EternalRose]

Also, for all of those using the excuse about 'having to wait till my kids are at school" It sounds a bit pathetic. So many inspiring women on this forum, that use their loaf ( as my dad used to say ) and get creative. Make cakes, make things from home e.t.c to keep the funds coming in. I could not sit on my ass for 4-5 years doing sod all. I would literally go crazy.

i certainly do not sit on my ass all day my children are hard work dont know abut you!.....u have all completely ganged up on me as if i am lowlife scum yes there u have made me feel like scum im actually crying here....sorry for my husband working and failing and sorry for me people a lazy mum

I wasnt singling you out, I was talking about women who choose to stay at home in general. If you really cant afford to work, thats fine but there are a lot of things you can do from home to generate income. Dont take this thread too seriously, Im just a random sista on this forum init? xx

 

[polo_princess]

Anywhoo, this is in the news/debates section now, nowt to do with teen pregnancy anymore

 

[v2007]

Also, for all of those using the excuse about 'having to wait till my kids are at school" It sounds a bit pathetic. So many inspiring women on this forum, that use their loaf ( as my dad used to say ) and get creative. Make cakes, make things from home e.t.c to keep the funds coming in. I could not sit on my ass for 4-5 years doing sod all. I would literally go crazy.

i certainly do not sit on my ass all day my children are hard work dont know abut you!.....u have all completely ganged up on me as if i am lowlife scum yes there u have made me feel like scum im actually crying here....sorry for my husband working and failing and sorry for me people a lazy mum

Please dont cry.



V xxx

 

[sequeena]

oh FFS my mum was engaged to a man for TEN YEARS who sexually abused me the entire time!!

What am I going to do, chuck my OH out just incase and ban all men from coming into contact with my child?

I will be careful of course but I (and everyone else) can't stop that from sending your child to nursery/school and getting a job.

Some comments (sorry, not got through all the thread but couldn't read on without putting my 2 pence in!)

 

[Tegans Mama]

Threads like these have a great knack for making someone like me, who HAS to stay home and look after my LO, feel like shite. Couldn't send her to nursery if I wanted to. My family can't cope with her. So, I really so have no option, much like Sb22 with little Alex. I'd give every limb on my body for things to be different.
Also, I don't know how Tegan will cope with school. Kids with her disabilities sometimes don't do well at all, due to learning difficulties among other things. I'll have to stay home then too. Just, meh.

 

[jenny25]

you know im glad they are changing the system because people who do abuse the system are taking away from people who really need it , i was a single parent out working and having childcare full time i was only better off by about £20 a week but at the end of the day it built up my pension for when i was older and i was showing my son working hard is good some people may find it hard and not worth while going back to work cause they would be worse off which is understandable so i can understand why people stay at home im now a stay at home mum with a part time job during the football season and my hubby works a main job and 3 side jobs at different football clubs its hard work but it will be worth it in the end because we will be able to not worry when our little one is older and if he wants to go to uni

 

[sequeena]

Threads like these have a great knack for making someone like me, who HAS to stay home and look after my LO, feel like shite. Couldn't send her to nursery if I wanted to. My family can't cope with her. So, I really so have no option, much like Sb22 with little Alex. I'd give every limb on my body for things to be different.
Also, I don't know how Tegan will cope with school. Kids with her disabilities sometimes don't do well at all, due to learning difficulties among other things. I'll have to stay home then too. Just, meh.

You shouldn't feel bad AT ALL. No-one would expect you to look after your child and hold down a job, it would just be impossible.

 

[Hayley90]

Laughable.
This entire thread....

 

[EternalRose]

Threads like these have a great knack for making someone like me, who HAS to stay home and look after my LO, feel like shite. Couldn't send her to nursery if I wanted to. My family can't cope with her. So, I really so have no option, much like Sb22 with little Alex. I'd give every limb on my body for things to be different.
Also, I don't know how Tegan will cope with school. Kids with her disabilities sometimes don't do well at all, due to learning difficulties among other things. I'll have to stay home then too. Just, meh.

Hun I think everyone on this forum would completely agree that your situation is entirely different.

 

[jenniferannex]

Threads like these have a great knack for making someone like me, who HAS to stay home and look after my LO, feel like shite. Couldn't send her to nursery if I wanted to. My family can't cope with her. So, I really so have no option, much like Sb22 with little Alex. I'd give every limb on my body for things to be different.
Also, I don't know how Tegan will cope with school. Kids with her disabilities sometimes don't do well at all, due to learning difficulties among other things. I'll have to stay home then too. Just, meh.

but your reason for not being able to work is so understandable, where as there are other people who just dont work for the fun of it because they know they will get money.
Dont feel like shit, you HAVE to stay home to look after Tegan like you said due to her disabilities xx

 

[24/7]

Threads like these have a great knack for making someone like me, who HAS to stay home and look after my LO, feel like shite. Couldn't send her to nursery if I wanted to. My family can't cope with her. So, I really so have no option, much like Sb22 with little Alex. I'd give every limb on my body for things to be different.
Also, I don't know how Tegan will cope with school. Kids with her disabilities sometimes don't do well at all, due to learning difficulties among other things. I'll have to stay home then too. Just, meh.

Please don't, the system is in place to help families just like yours, and so it should be. xx

 

[helen1234]

Also, for all of those using the excuse about 'having to wait till my kids are at school" It sounds a bit pathetic. So many inspiring women on this forum, that use their loaf ( as my dad used to say ) and get creative. Make cakes, make things from home e.t.c to keep the funds coming in. I could not sit on my ass for 4-5 years doing sod all. I would literally go crazy.

i can only say why i decided to stop my career to stay at home.

i've worked full time and studied with a child in nursery and then onto childminder, i just feel no-one looks after their child better than its own mother. if i HAD to work for financial reasons then i absolutely have and would again but i'm in the position financially i dont have to rush off back to work.
my toddler doesnt trn my head to mush one bit, i do everything else and more that any child does in fulltime nursery, he sleeps in his own bed, socialises the same as other children 3 times a week, he has music class and swimming lessons, i certainly dnt sit on my ass, and i actually like the fact that my partner walks in from work we have tea all together now and then we devote our whole night to our children.

i waited 5 yrs to concieve rhys i dunno spose i just cant miss anything dunno if it has anything to do with why i love being with him so much i have so much patience now i dont have to worry about a stress head job like i had.

when he goes to school i will goto work while he is there prob 16 hours a week

 

[My_First]

Threads like these have a great knack for making someone like me, who HAS to stay home and look after my LO, feel like shite. Couldn't send her to nursery if I wanted to. My family can't cope with her. So, I really so have no option, much like Sb22 with little Alex. I'd give every limb on my body for things to be different.
Also, I don't know how Tegan will cope with school. Kids with her disabilities sometimes don't do well at all, due to learning difficulties among other things. I'll have to stay home then too. Just, meh.

Please don't, the system is in place to help families just like yours, and so it should be. xx

WSS

 

[EternalRose]

i can only say why i decided to stop my career to stay at home.

i've worked full time and studied with a child in nursery and then onto childminder, i just feel no-one looks after their child better than its own mother. if i HAD to work for financial reasons then i absolutely have and would again but i'm in the position financially i dont have to rush off back to work.
my toddler doesnt trn my head to mush one bit, i do everything else and more that any child does in fulltime nursery, he sleeps in his own bed, socialises the same as other children 3 times a week, he has music class and swimming lessons, i certainly dnt sit on my ass, and i actually like the fact that my partner works in from work we have tea all together now and then we devote our whole night to our children.

i waited 5 yrs to concieve rhys i dunno spose i just cant miss anything dunno if it has anything to do with why i love being with him so much i have so much patience now i dont have to worry about a stress head job like i had.

when he goes to school i will goto work while he is there prob 16 hours a week

I was talking about the people who cant really afford to stay at home, but do so not through choice but because they cant 'afford' to work. Your situation is entirely different. xx

 

[Hayley90]

Lea, don't feel bad at all - the system is there for people like you and H and Tegan. Xxxx

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Threads like these have a great knack for making someone like me, who HAS to stay home and look after my LO, feel like shite. Couldn't send her to nursery if I wanted to. My family can't cope with her. So, I really so have no option, much like Sb22 with little Alex. I'd give every limb on my body for things to be different.
Also, I don't know how Tegan will cope with school. Kids with her disabilities sometimes don't do well at all, due to learning difficulties among other things. I'll have to stay home then too. Just, meh.

They annoy me too. My OH does earn a sustainable wage, its not enough on its own though and we do get tax credits and DLA too. I stay at home. Both my kids are at school full time and yeap I am still at home. Its easy to pass judgement when you don't know but its not as easy as it appears. I am sure people can not understand. My sons disibilitys are mainly invisible, oh this makes people even more judgemental. I just hate judgement, you know. Its not that easy.
Also, there is absolutely no way I could move areas lol. That would entail more stress than it is worth!
These things can happen to anyone too! You just never know! Its so easy to judge but please think twice!

 

[helen1234]

Threads like these have a great knack for making someone like me, who HAS to stay home and look after my LO, feel like shite. Couldn't send her to nursery if I wanted to. My family can't cope with her. So, I really so have no option, much like Sb22 with little Alex. I'd give every limb on my body for things to be different.
Also, I don't know how Tegan will cope with school. Kids with her disabilities sometimes don't do well at all, due to learning difficulties among other things. I'll have to stay home then too. Just, meh.

awww hun dont say that you feel shite, i know how hard it is, i ahd to wait till rosie was at school to go back to work, and i was lucky she got into mainstream school, and i had a lovely neighbour, who then became her childminder who could deal with all her epileptic fits. i was sooooo lucky.
i just couldnt have managed without it, i was also lucky that my work let me leave when i when i needed to rush her to hospital and they let me do over time to make hours up at wknds.

i really dont think you need to feel judged at all hunni xxx

 

[Tegans Mama]

Threads like these have a great knack for making someone like me, who HAS to stay home and look after my LO, feel like shite. Couldn't send her to nursery if I wanted to. My family can't cope with her. So, I really so have no option, much like Sb22 with little Alex. I'd give every limb on my body for things to be different.
Also, I don't know how Tegan will cope with school. Kids with her disabilities sometimes don't do well at all, due to learning difficulties among other things. I'll have to stay home then too. Just, meh.

awww hun dont say that you feel shite, i know how hard it is, i ahd to wait till rosie was at school to go back to work, and i was lucky she got into mainstream school, and i had a lovely neighbour, who then became her childminder who could deal with all her epileptic fits. i was sooooo lucky.
i just couldnt have managed without it, i was also lucky that my work let me leave when i when i needed to rush her to hospital and they let me do over time to make hours up at wknds.

i really dont think you need to feel judged at all hunni xxx

I look at the job pages all the time. I know that no nursery would take Tegan without the LEA forcing them to, and I don't want her to be somewhere that has been MADE to take her iykwim?? Plus she has ongoing, life threatening health issues. She could wake up fine one morning, be dropped at school, someone miss a sign that she's ill and be dead by tea time. I don't need that on my conscience. Our Educational Psychologist has said she'll have a support worker with her during all her hours at school (including breaks etc) because of this. They are cutting back in our county though and if she doesn't get this, I don't know if I CAN send her to school. It's a very real, absolutely bloody HUGE problem for me

Thanks for the support ladies, I know that my circs are different etc but sometimes I read these threads and wonder what the people saying these things think of me, since most of you are my friends

ETA - Helen, hospital's and illness is another problem over here too. Tegan has 3 hospital appointments a week. When she gets ill, it tends to be serious and though it's not often, she spends weeks on end in hospital. I simply CAN'T be a Mum whose disabled child is in hospital, life threatening ill, but I'm at work because I'll get fired if I don't go

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I think it's been said a few times that No one is talking about carers etc. Like you tegans mum you stay at home as your child has needs that many other children dont which means you have to be with her xc