child benifits UK girls....not good news

[Midnight_Fairy]

Threads like these have a great knack for making someone like me, who HAS to stay home and look after my LO, feel like shite. Couldn't send her to nursery if I wanted to. My family can't cope with her. So, I really so have no option, much like Sb22 with little Alex. I'd give every limb on my body for things to be different.
Also, I don't know how Tegan will cope with school. Kids with her disabilities sometimes don't do well at all, due to learning difficulties among other things. I'll have to stay home then too. Just, meh.

awww hun dont say that you feel shite, i know how hard it is, i ahd to wait till rosie was at school to go back to work, and i was lucky she got into mainstream school, and i had a lovely neighbour, who then became her childminder who could deal with all her epileptic fits. i was sooooo lucky.
i just couldnt have managed without it, i was also lucky that my work let me leave when i when i needed to rush her to hospital and they let me do over time to make hours up at wknds.

i really dont think you need to feel judged at all hunni xxx

I look at the job pages all the time. I know that no nursery would take Tegan without the LEA forcing them to, and I don't want her to be somewhere that has been MADE to take her iykwim?? Plus she has ongoing, life threatening health issues. She could wake up fine one morning, be dropped at school, someone miss a sign that she's ill and be dead by tea time. I don't need that on my conscience. Our Educational Psychologist has said she'll have a support worker with her during all her hours at school (including breaks etc) because of this. They are cutting back in our county though and if she doesn't get this, I don't know if I CAN send her to school. It's a very real, absolutely bloody HUGE problem for me

Thanks for the support ladies, I know that my circs are different etc but sometimes I read these threads and wonder what the people saying these things think of me, since most of you are my friends

Hugs. I can imagine it so hard

We are currently looking into home schooling I never thought life would be this way. Ever. Its not easy!

 

[helen1234]

Threads like these have a great knack for making someone like me, who HAS to stay home and look after my LO, feel like shite. Couldn't send her to nursery if I wanted to. My family can't cope with her. So, I really so have no option, much like Sb22 with little Alex. I'd give every limb on my body for things to be different.
Also, I don't know how Tegan will cope with school. Kids with her disabilities sometimes don't do well at all, due to learning difficulties among other things. I'll have to stay home then too. Just, meh.

They annoy me too. My OH does earn a sustainable wage, its not enough on its own though and we do get tax credits and DLA too. I stay at home. Both my kids are at school full time and yeap I am still at home. Its easy to pass judgement when you don't know but its not as easy as it appears. I am sure people can not understand. My sons disibilitys are mainly invisible, oh this makes people even more judgemental. I just hate judgement, you know. Its not that easy.
Also, there is absolutely no way I could move areas lol. That would entail more stress than it is worth!
These things can happen to anyone too! You just never know! Its so easy to judge but please think twice!

the invisible disabilities are the worst sometimes, my daughter looks like every other child, but her thinking anything through is non exsistant she turns 16 on tuesday and i know i've got to let her into the big world of college etc, just not sure how she's going to cope tbh, hope we've done enough by giving her a bit of freedom over the past yr, i've got epilepsy bracelets chains all ready but still doent give much peace of mind.

 

[odd_socks]

only problem about all the benefit cuts in this country is its making the poor poorer and the rich dont get effected

 

[My_First]

only problem about all the benefit cuts in this country is its making the poor poorer and the rich dont get effected

How does that work? Please its the second time I have heard that, and I am not sure how?

 

[indy and lara]

personally no i wouldnt uproute a whole family for a job you could be sacked from within 6months..the way things are going at the moment there are no jobs out there...my OH works i dont personally work ..but i want to go back to work..
but at this moment in time its not going to happen as i would not and will not leave my kids in a private nursery..with the things that go on in some nurserys these days...
thats what puts people off going back to work early.

That is disgusting. I started to type a response to that but you know what, I am not going to waste my time.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Threads like these have a great knack for making someone like me, who HAS to stay home and look after my LO, feel like shite. Couldn't send her to nursery if I wanted to. My family can't cope with her. So, I really so have no option, much like Sb22 with little Alex. I'd give every limb on my body for things to be different.
Also, I don't know how Tegan will cope with school. Kids with her disabilities sometimes don't do well at all, due to learning difficulties among other things. I'll have to stay home then too. Just, meh.

They annoy me too. My OH does earn a sustainable wage, its not enough on its own though and we do get tax credits and DLA too. I stay at home. Both my kids are at school full time and yeap I am still at home. Its easy to pass judgement when you don't know but its not as easy as it appears. I am sure people can not understand. My sons disibilitys are mainly invisible, oh this makes people even more judgemental. I just hate judgement, you know. Its not that easy.
Also, there is absolutely no way I could move areas lol. That would entail more stress than it is worth!
These things can happen to anyone too! You just never know! Its so easy to judge but please think twice!

the invisible disabilities are the worst sometimes, my daughter looks like every other child, but her thinking anything through is non exsistant she turns 16 on tuesday and i know i've got to let her into the big world of college etc, just not sure how she's going to cope tbh, hope we've done enough by giving her a bit of freedom over the past yr, i've got epilepsy bracelets chains all ready but still doent give much peace of mind.

We don't get a break being parents do we I guess one day at a time is the way forward.

Because I don't tell people about M, people don't notice ... I have had a few comments at the school about me staying at home lol sometimes they upset me, sometimes I bite my tongue, depends on my mood. x

 

[sequeena]

Threads like these have a great knack for making someone like me, who HAS to stay home and look after my LO, feel like shite. Couldn't send her to nursery if I wanted to. My family can't cope with her. So, I really so have no option, much like Sb22 with little Alex. I'd give every limb on my body for things to be different.
Also, I don't know how Tegan will cope with school. Kids with her disabilities sometimes don't do well at all, due to learning difficulties among other things. I'll have to stay home then too. Just, meh.

awww hun dont say that you feel shite, i know how hard it is, i ahd to wait till rosie was at school to go back to work, and i was lucky she got into mainstream school, and i had a lovely neighbour, who then became her childminder who could deal with all her epileptic fits. i was sooooo lucky.
i just couldnt have managed without it, i was also lucky that my work let me leave when i when i needed to rush her to hospital and they let me do over time to make hours up at wknds.

i really dont think you need to feel judged at all hunni xxx

I look at the job pages all the time. I know that no nursery would take Tegan without the LEA forcing them to, and I don't want her to be somewhere that has been MADE to take her iykwim?? Plus she has ongoing, life threatening health issues. She could wake up fine one morning, be dropped at school, someone miss a sign that she's ill and be dead by tea time. I don't need that on my conscience. Our Educational Psychologist has said she'll have a support worker with her during all her hours at school (including breaks etc) because of this. They are cutting back in our county though and if she doesn't get this, I don't know if I CAN send her to school. It's a very real, absolutely bloody HUGE problem for me

Thanks for the support ladies, I know that my circs are different etc but sometimes I read these threads and wonder what the people saying these things think of me, since most of you are my friends

ETA - Helen, hospital's and illness is another problem over here too. Tegan has 3 hospital appointments a week. When she gets ill, it tends to be serious and though it's not often, she spends weeks on end in hospital. I simply CAN'T be a Mum whose disabled child is in hospital, life threatening ill, but I'm at work because I'll get fired if I don't go

Someone would have to be pretty heartless to expect you to just 'do without' benefits and work fulltime to support your family x

 

[leoniebabey]

Also, for all of those using the excuse about 'having to wait till my kids are at school" It sounds a bit pathetic. So many inspiring women on this forum, that use their loaf ( as my dad used to say ) and get creative. Make cakes, make things from home e.t.c to keep the funds coming in. I could not sit on my ass for 4-5 years doing sod all. I would literally go crazy.

some people arnt as creative as others though.
cakes - id give people food poisioning
and crafy things always look good in my head, sadly not when i peice them together.

Tbh i think being a SAHM is a job in it'self
i am a cleaner,nurse,teacher and lots more jobs rolled into one, i am certainly not lazy from getting up till around 9 when i chill im on the go non stop. just because i dont work doesnt make me lazy!

I really would love to work but i think i'll get college out of the way 1st.

 

[Tegans Mama]

Hugs. I can imagine it so hard

We are currently looking into home schooling I never thought life would be this way. Ever. Its not easy!

It is hun. Tegan's getting her wheelchair next month. You can't tell she's disabled now by looking at her, she looks "normal" and it pisses me off SO MUCH how much people judge me by how I parent her. So what if she drinks chocolate milk, its all she will drink and she has to drink something. She's underweight and undernourished as it is, I'm not gonna stop giving her a drink when we're outta the house just because people are idiots! I really cannot wait until she has her wheelchair. For me, that will be the statement, "she's disabled now leave her alone" if that makes sense?

We're also looking into home schooling hun. If she doesn't get a support worker full time, she won't be going to school, simple as. What if she does around the corner at school (we know which one we'd like her to go to) and falls out of her wheelchair and no one is there to see her??? Or she bumps her head during P.E and it knocks her shunt out of place? I know, I'm being paranoid, but that is how my life is now. Having her home, I see her, 24/7. Passing that responsibility to someone else is massive, and I simply cannot let her be stuck into a class with one teacher for 25 kids.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

With regards to what miss danielle said if you can work you should work(not talking about carers etc). Aidan is in a private nursery whilst I am training to be a nurse. I love nursing but i also have to do it because I need to provide for my child financially. If you can't afford to stay at home then you shouldn't. Again not talking about any of the ladies who have to stay with their children due to disabilities etc xx

 

[polo_princess]

Lea and MF... do you not have any special schools in your area that are specifically for children with disabilities?

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Hugs. I can imagine it so hard

We are currently looking into home schooling I never thought life would be this way. Ever. Its not easy!

It is hun. Tegan's getting her wheelchair next month. You can't tell she's disabled now by looking at her, she looks "normal" and it pisses me off SO MUCH how much people judge me by how I parent her. So what if she drinks chocolate milk, its all she will drink and she has to drink something. She's underweight and undernourished as it is, I'm not gonna stop giving her a drink when we're outta the house just because people are idiots! I really cannot wait until she has her wheelchair. For me, that will be the statement, "she's disabled now leave her alone" if that makes sense?

We're also looking into home schooling hun. If she doesn't get a support worker full time, she won't be going to school, simple as. What if she does around the corner at school (we know which one we'd like her to go to) and falls out of her wheelchair and no one is there to see her??? Or she bumps her head during P.E and it knocks her shunt out of place? I know, I'm being paranoid, but that is how my life is now. Having her home, I see her, 24/7. Passing that responsibility to someone else is massive, and I simply cannot let her be stuck into a class with one teacher for 25 kids.

Your not being paranoid. You want what's best. I check up on the school constantly, even phone all the time but in my opinion, I don't care if they think I am OTT. Unless they can guarantee me everything is being done and I feel satisfied, I will ring 24/7. Plus the amount of times I have to go in school because he has had a meltdown and cant calm down, I don't know what I would do if I had to come out of work every 20mins! That and the fact he will not let anyone else take him to school, its not like he is being a pain on purpose or "something he will have to get used to" Its not that simple. He wont have it and people will have to accept that!

If I have to home school, that's my chance of a job (If I had one) gone. Its probably 2nd on the list at the moment if Jr school does not work out!

I just think its so easy to judge people on what they do. I do understand a lot of people abuse the system, but many don't. I just think the media know people like to read about it so they publish the most extreme cases.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Leoniebaby- your going to college so your bettering yourself Xx

 

[helen1234]

Threads like these have a great knack for making someone like me, who HAS to stay home and look after my LO, feel like shite. Couldn't send her to nursery if I wanted to. My family can't cope with her. So, I really so have no option, much like Sb22 with little Alex. I'd give every limb on my body for things to be different.
Also, I don't know how Tegan will cope with school. Kids with her disabilities sometimes don't do well at all, due to learning difficulties among other things. I'll have to stay home then too. Just, meh.

They annoy me too. My OH does earn a sustainable wage, its not enough on its own though and we do get tax credits and DLA too. I stay at home. Both my kids are at school full time and yeap I am still at home. Its easy to pass judgement when you don't know but its not as easy as it appears. I am sure people can not understand. My sons disibilitys are mainly invisible, oh this makes people even more judgemental. I just hate judgement, you know. Its not that easy.
Also, there is absolutely no way I could move areas lol. That would entail more stress than it is worth!
These things can happen to anyone too! You just never know! Its so easy to judge but please think twice!

the invisible disabilities are the worst sometimes, my daughter looks like every other child, but her thinking anything through is non exsistant she turns 16 on tuesday and i know i've got to let her into the big world of college etc, just not sure how she's going to cope tbh, hope we've done enough by giving her a bit of freedom over the past yr, i've got epilepsy bracelets chains all ready but still doent give much peace of mind.

We don't get a break being parents do we I guess one day at a time is the way forward.

Because I don't tell people about M, people don't notice ... I have had a few comments at the school about me staying at home lol sometimes they upset me, sometimes I bite my tongue, depends on my mood. x

nope and people dont understand, i am lucky that my daughters epilepsy is under control but its how young she acts and the stupid things she does sometimes.
and i'm sick of battling against the doctors too. had her appt cancelled 3 times and she should have an appt tomorrow at hosp, and it was cancelled on friday and another made for may ffs. so now will spend tomorrow morning on the phone if i was at work i'd have to sneak that phonecall its little things like that. i was lucky when i worked and i am lucky that the only problem rosie had was epilepsy.
dont even get me started on mental health services, had a huge incident in sept with my daughter and they cant get her any help till june 9 months after the incident.

 

[Katie Mc]

Hi I ve gave up reading the last few pages but just wanted to ask WHAT IS LIVING ON BENEFITS? because I work part time and goto college part time and OH works full time but we get child tax credits. Does this mean we are living off benefits? We pay school dinners, dont get uniform grants etc and yes I will be getting the sure start grant because we can and we will enjoy spending it on our 3 children.

 

[indy and lara]

Also, for all of those using the excuse about 'having to wait till my kids are at school" It sounds a bit pathetic. So many inspiring women on this forum, that use their loaf ( as my dad used to say ) and get creative. Make cakes, make things from home e.t.c to keep the funds coming in. I could not sit on my ass for 4-5 years doing sod all. I would literally go crazy.

Might just be feeling a bit techy tonight but I would like to just point out that I am not sitting around on my ass. I don't work because I want to raise my child. When she starts school nursery I will go back to work PT. My hubby supports us all and we get no benefits.

I am a SAHM because I think that is a valuable job.

 

[odd_socks]

only problem about all the benefit cuts in this country is its making the poor poorer and the rich dont get effected

How does that work? Please its the second time I have heard that, and I am not sure how?

well they are cutting tax credits as of march (as far as i know) which means people who work 30hours and get under a certain about in wage get them but wont so alot of people will be down by hundreds of pounds a year.

VAT has now gone on HOWEVER wages stayed the same

Same for fuel/public transport has all gone up and wages has stayed the same

Most bankers are having there yearly bonus this year and yet nurses have had to take a pay freeze, same for our troops.

They are putting up gas and electric bills and yet the pensions have been cut, they are on about cutting free bus passes for elderly which in turn will make them poorer.

They are making OAPs work longer i.e older so then there is less jobs out there for young people, and also making disabled people get back into work, so more people are going to end up on jobseekers.

They are cutting child benefits (or a benefit) for people who earn individual of £30,000 but if a household income is £60,000 then they get to keep the benefit

this country is screwed and its gotten worse in the past 12 months

 

[Tegans Mama]

Lea and MF... do you not have any special schools in your area that are specifically for children with disabilities?

Yep we do, but she doesn't have special-enough needs to go there It's bloody stupid!! It's a school for physical and learning disabilities. I'm not sure how much more physically disabled you can get than being paraplegic?? I know there is CP etc, but I don't get why they don't accept children like Tegan. I suppose it's because SB is very uncommon too, there are only about 1500 under 16's in the UK with SB.

 

[My_First]

Also, for all of those using the excuse about 'having to wait till my kids are at school" It sounds a bit pathetic. So many inspiring women on this forum, that use their loaf ( as my dad used to say ) and get creative. Make cakes, make things from home e.t.c to keep the funds coming in. I could not sit on my ass for 4-5 years doing sod all. I would literally go crazy.

Might just be feeling a bit techy tonight but I would like to just point out that I am not sitting around on my ass. I don't work because I want to raise my child. When she starts school nursery I will go back to work PT. My hubby supports us all and we get no benefits.

I am a SAHM because I think that is a valuable job.

And you are EXACTLY right - The point she was making though was the choice of a SAHM and claiming...

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Also, for all of those using the excuse about 'having to wait till my kids are at school" It sounds a bit pathetic. So many inspiring women on this forum, that use their loaf ( as my dad used to say ) and get creative. Make cakes, make things from home e.t.c to keep the funds coming in. I could not sit on my ass for 4-5 years doing sod all. I would literally go crazy.

Might just be feeling a bit techy tonight but I would like to just point out that I am not sitting around on my ass. I don't work because I want to raise my child. When she starts school nursery I will go back to work PT. My hubby supports us all and we get no benefits.

I am a SAHM because I think that is a valuable job.

That's the difference though hun your not reliant on benefits. Your hubby works x