child benifits UK girls....not good news

[My_First]

I dont think ANYONE suggested that a SAHM was lazy, god absolutly not. I actually cant see where that is written, and yes a SAHM is a full time job etc etc. What I think is if you are a SAHM and on benefits and not support yourself/or by partner as a SAHM. I think therein lie the crux of this debate.

Editted to say and this doesnt mean genuine cases like those with Disabled Children etc.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Actually tell a lie, I have been in all day today but my DD is not well I had to take DS to school but now I am home with poorly girl

Also, sometimes people might work hard and not get paid a lot so need TC to bump it up. Does not mean they are not a hard worker x

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I just don't think someone should be a SAHM if they rely soley on benefits. I am not talking about people who have things like TC etc I am talking about those who whole income is benefits and they are not doing anything to earn that. I.e. Working, studying. I work 39 hour weeks or I am at Uni or studying I hardly ever see Aidsn because I HAVE to work. I was on benefits but I don't want Aidan to think he can live of benefits and do nothing with his life.

And I am not talking about people with disabled children or ladies that stay at home and hubby works et . I talking about those that gave nothing stopping them from working -and choose not to. How is that right? Why should they live a 'free' life. And it's people like that who give people in genuine need on benefits a bad name x

 

[SKATERBUN]

Also, for all of those using the excuse about 'having to wait till my kids are at school" It sounds a bit pathetic. So many inspiring women on this forum, that use their loaf ( as my dad used to say ) and get creative. Make cakes, make things from home e.t.c to keep the funds coming in. I could not sit on my ass for 4-5 years doing sod all. I would literally go crazy.

Not to any one in particular just the whole thread.

i hate the comments sitting on your bum being a sahm

Me too. My OH used to 'joke' about me sitting around all day drinking tea and watching TV....til we had the christmas break when he was off for 2 weeks. He actually said work was a break!

I find most of the time comments about SAHM's being lazy etc etc are from people with no kids or people who work full time (& went back to work right after having their baby)....in other words people who don't know what it's like, but imagine it being easy cos if you're not ACTUALLY going to work, you can't be working

Also the comments about not sending your child to nursery cos of the isolated indicents we've had in the press lately - oh come on. You have more incidents in schools where teachers run off with pupils, have affairs, take advantage etc....what a lame excuse! Man up!!

i used to say going to work actually gave me a break sometimes

TBH apart from really needing the bigger mortgage for at least a 2 bed place, this is another reason why I need to go back to work, the sanity of actually interacting with REAL people and contributing in society.

The other reason is that little one really needs social interaction too with litle ones of her own age, and whilst I shudder at the childcare costs (though well justified when you think about the amount of work a lo requires) and the thought of leaving her with people I dont know at the end of the day I think its only got to better for all of us in the long term.

Yes I would like to ideally be like to be with LO all day, but we do need space from each other at times, when I say it I feel bad but we would like a better life, a house with a garden, lovely holidays she will remember and the latest toys at christmas, so I will be going back to work after Mat leave in June and looking forwards to it rather than pondering on the negatives.

 

[angelandbump]

I just don't think someone should be a SAHM if they rely soley on benefits. I am not talking about people who have things like TC etc I am talking about those who whole income is benefits and they are not doing anything to earn that. I.e. Working, studying. I work 39 hour weeks or I am at Uni or studying I hardly ever see Aidsn because I HAVE to work. I was on benefits but I don't want Aidan to think he can live of benefits and do nothing with his life.

And I am not talking about people with disabled children or ladies that stay at home and hubby works et . I talking about those that gave nothing stopping them from working -and choose not to. How is that right? Why should they live a 'free' life. And it's people like that who give people in genuine need on benefits a bad name x

thats a very good point. i hate it when i hear people say there is no jobs out there. what boils my pee is when the company my dad worked for went into liquidation he got no redundancy and he couldnt claim on his insurance as liqidation wasnt covered. he had worked since he was 15 and all that tax he paid was for nothing... all the goverment would pay him was £45per week!
my poor mum had to support a family of 5 plus all the bills and a mortgage on a partime wage! my dads moto was "i would shift shit from the streets if it would pay" ... luckily he never stopped looking online, in the job centre, in papers and calling radom companies for a week and after 9 days he got a new job!

There is no excuse for people now a days not to work or at least study (exept if you are caring for a disabled/ill family member) and if you want to be a SAHM make sure you have another income to support you. I would love to be a SAHM but me and my partner cant afforde it so why should they get that luxury just because they can??

 

[marley2580]

I'm actually quite sad that being a SAHM has become a privilege rather than a right. Surely raising the next generation should be seen as a good thing?

 

[Blue_bumpkin]

personally no i wouldnt uproute a whole family for a job you could be sacked from within 6months..the way things are going at the moment there are no jobs out there...my OH works i dont personally work ..but i want to go back to work..
but at this moment in time its not going to happen as i would not and will not leave my kids in a private nursery..with the things that go on in some nurserys these days...
thats what puts people off going back to work early.

That is disgusting. I started to type a response to that but you know what, I am not going to waste my time.

Can I ask why this is disgusting? Its just how she feels. And if im honest its how I feel too. I dont know whether my feelings on this are clouded due to my PND, infact they most likely are, but branding someones genuine concerns for their childs safety 'disgusting', no matter how illogical and absurd they may be to you is just rude imo. My mum has a fear of buttons - absurd yes but a genuine fear none the less.

Stories like the recent ones about the nurseries are horrific and the thought of that happening to my little adam actually reduces me to tears. Im a cynical person, I expect the worst and aim to prevent it - its how I am. My life experiences have made this way and as for schools - i'll be honest and admit this has even made me look into homeschooling. Im not wrapping him in cotton wool, just trying to do what I feel is necessary to keep him safe - as my child, that is my responsibility so if that makes me disgusting then so be it - these are just my concerns and how Im am dealing with them .

Just wanted to add to that Indy and Lara I only quoted you to reference your use of the word disgusting - my post is not aimed at you unless stated

As a teacher who has worked in both nursery and school situations where do you want me to start with this one?

There have been a few isolated incidents in nurseries. Frankly they are horrific, you won't find me saying otherwise, but they are not representative of the Nursery system as a whole. I have only know dedicated and hard working nursery nurses who are paid a pittance to an unbelievably responsible and important job.

The checks and balances in place in all nurseries (from babies up to pre-schoolers) to keep children safe are wide ranging and all encompassing. If they are not running properly then that is the type of thing picked up very quickly by the Care Commission.

Children sadly are far more at risk of abuse from someone they know or in their own family, not from strangers. That is the frightening and sobering truth of the matter. I am sick of reading people stating that they do not want their child in nursery as they are at risk from a paedophile. I am sorry that you find it rude but I am not willing to sit by and listen to people saying/insinuating my colleagues and I are a danger to children.

People are allowed to be cautious. Some people may be more so for reasons you do not know about which is why I said it was rude to call someone's genuine concern 'disgusting'. I wont allow anyone but my dad to drive Adam around - I trust noone with him but my dad, as I feel he is a more careful driver. I am not saying that my sister or his dad or his other grandparents are irresponsible drivers, just that imo I'd feel safer knowing my dad is driving iykwim? If my dad cant drive us I choose to walk. This is because he's my son and these are my concerns. Same as id feel safer knowing he was with me or a member of my family. Being concerned about your child going to nursery is not a sole reason not to work, but it can be a contributing factor if someone feels strongly enough about it and dont think its for anyone else to say but that childs mother

I wish I didnt feel so overly cautious with regards to Adam, all the time, but thats how I am.

Noone is saying you or your colleagues are a danger to children and its certainly not tarring everyone with the same brush - its just that headlines can scare people and especially when its to do with children or other vulnerable people. My point is you cant blame people or be angry with them for being worried or cautious..

I just dont see why someone was getting jumped on for stating a genuine concern. The posts I read seemed almost to mock the concept or being worried about your child at nursery. Im sure there are lots of people who are, it just depends on the type of person you are, where you live and how strongly you feel about it as well as a million other things.

 

[sequeena]

Well I'll be one less person claiming DLA. I never knew I wasn't at danger of harming myself during the day or night... despite my scars and medical record documenting my overdoses.

Sorry, I know it doesn't fit in with this thread but I just feel so down, this has been going on for 5 months. I wish I'd been told at the beginning I didn't stand a hope in hell

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mum if your partner works or for whatever reason preventing you from working. Whatever that may be I.e. Being a carer. But if your a stay at home mum fit no other reason other than being there why should the goverment pay for that? Yes raising the next generation is important but just because I work doesn't mean I don't care about raising him. I'm teaching him a valuable rule, you must work for what you have unless something is preventing you. Yes SAHM mums work VERY hard. I don't think anyone is disputing that. But working muns work hard with regards to raising their children too. After a day at Uni or a 13 hour shift, I come home put a wash on, iron, make dinner etc. We are all mums and we all work hard to raise our children, that isn't what is being disputed. The thing that is being disputed is being a stay at home mum at the expense of the tax payer when there is nothing really stopping them working. I will say again I an NOT talking about people with disabled children etc xx

 

[ILoveShoes]

Aidan's Mummy, I agree 100% with you.

 

[My_First]

I'm actually quite sad that being a SAHM has become a privilege rather than a right. Surely raising the next generation should be seen as a good thing?

Absolutly - but not at the cost of the Government

 

[SKATERBUN]

It just isnt posssible in this day and age for us all to have the luxury of being a SAHM.
Yes like Aidans mummy said if your partner can afford to keep the family afloat then
thats fine and dandy.

Unfortunately the reason why we are all suffering and why we cant all have the fundamental choice of being at home rather than working is because of the past governments have made the country into a financial mess and we all have to contribute to get it back to a nicer place as it will only get worse.

For years government money has been handed out freely without adequate means testing, banks have lent too much money to people who cant pay it back, the cultural society and ethics have broken down making those dependent and de motivated. Do we all just sit back and hope for the best, who else is going to bail us out?

 

[24/7]

I'm actually quite sad that being a SAHM has become a privilege rather than a right. Surely raising the next generation should be seen as a good thing?

Absolutly - but not at the cost of the Government

And this is the point I try and make over and over again, we need to all be responsible for our lives, and our children, they are not the governments financial responsibility. I'm all for raising the next generation, but that to me is showing my son working hard is what brings you what you want in life in terms of materialistic posessions.

I resent going to work each day, to pay a ridiculous amount of tax, to fund people who think it is their right to be a SAHM, despite having no way of them and/or their partner funding it.

Benefits are there to support those who need them during times of hardship, and to me that is not chosing to be a SAHM because you want to. Life isn't fair and we can't all have what we want.

 

[polo_princess]

personally no i wouldnt uproute a whole family for a job you could be sacked from within 6months..the way things are going at the moment there are no jobs out there...my OH works i dont personally work ..but i want to go back to work..
but at this moment in time its not going to happen as i would not and will not leave my kids in a private nursery..with the things that go on in some nurserys these days...
thats what puts people off going back to work early.

That is disgusting. I started to type a response to that but you know what, I am not going to waste my time.

Can I ask why this is disgusting? Its just how she feels. And if im honest its how I feel too. I dont know whether my feelings on this are clouded due to my PND, infact they most likely are, but branding someones genuine concerns for their childs safety 'disgusting', no matter how illogical and absurd they may be to you is just rude imo. My mum has a fear of buttons - absurd yes but a genuine fear none the less.

Stories like the recent ones about the nurseries are horrific and the thought of that happening to my little adam actually reduces me to tears. Im a cynical person, I expect the worst and aim to prevent it - its how I am. My life experiences have made this way and as for schools - i'll be honest and admit this has even made me look into homeschooling. Im not wrapping him in cotton wool, just trying to do what I feel is necessary to keep him safe - as my child, that is my responsibility so if that makes me disgusting then so be it - these are just my concerns and how Im am dealing with them .

Just wanted to add to that Indy and Lara I only quoted you to reference your use of the word disgusting - my post is not aimed at you unless stated

As a teacher who has worked in both nursery and school situations where do you want me to start with this one?

There have been a few isolated incidents in nurseries. Frankly they are horrific, you won't find me saying otherwise, but they are not representative of the Nursery system as a whole. I have only know dedicated and hard working nursery nurses who are paid a pittance to an unbelievably responsible and important job.

The checks and balances in place in all nurseries (from babies up to pre-schoolers) to keep children safe are wide ranging and all encompassing. If they are not running properly then that is the type of thing picked up very quickly by the Care Commission.

Children sadly are far more at risk of abuse from someone they know or in their own family, not from strangers. That is the frightening and sobering truth of the matter. I am sick of reading people stating that they do not want their child in nursery as they are at risk from a paedophile. I am sorry that you find it rude but I am not willing to sit by and listen to people saying/insinuating my colleagues and I are a danger to children.

People are allowed to be cautious. Some people may be more so for reasons you do not know about which is why I said it was rude to call someone's genuine concern 'disgusting'. I wont allow anyone but my dad to drive Adam around - I trust noone with him but my dad, as I feel he is a more careful driver. I am not saying that my sister or his dad or his other grandparents are irresponsible drivers, just that imo I'd feel safer knowing my dad is driving iykwim? If my dad cant drive us I choose to walk. This is because he's my son and these are my concerns. Same as id feel safer knowing he was with me or a member of my family. Being concerned about your child going to nursery is not a sole reason not to work, but it can be a contributing factor if someone feels strongly enough about it and dont think its for anyone else to say but that childs mother

I wish I didnt feel so overly cautious with regards to Adam, all the time, but thats how I am.

Noone is saying you or your colleagues are a danger to children and its certainly not tarring everyone with the same brush - its just that headlines can scare people and especially when its to do with children or other vulnerable people. My point is you cant blame people or be angry with them for being worried or cautious..

I just dont see why someone was getting jumped on for stating a genuine concern. The posts I read seemed almost to mock the concept or being worried about your child at nursery. Im sure there are lots of people who are, it just depends on the type of person you are, where you live and how strongly you feel about it as well as a million other things.

Nobody said having a genuine concern was wrong, but using it as an excuse for not being able to work, and claiming its the reason why people dont go back to work just doesnt wash with me and it never will im afraid, so i dont mind if i get lumbered on the rude wagon either, people are extremely quick with the hypocrisy on this thread (not you btw) just highlighting, its not ok to tarr people on benefits with the same brush but it is ok to tarr all nursery workers with it

 

[AP]

I don't think it's anyones business if a mum stays at home because she is being supported by an OH.

I think it's almost everyones business if a mum stays at home just because benefits are on tap.

 

[Laura2919]

Personally I think the HIP was a total waste anyway. My girls were 3 months old when I got mine! Lol.
The child benefit is frozen! But I think its not a bad decision. Mine went up 3 times in a year.

I also think its a joke that some people dont trust nurseries these days thats why they dont go to work. Bull!! I work part time to support my family meaning my girls have to go to nursery! I made sure I was very happy with the nursery and the staff and I think its really hard for a women to be able to walk away from her child and leave that child at nursery! That just makes women who do it feel like they shouldnt. If you think its a good enough excuse its not.

 

[AP]

Personally I think the HIP was a total waste anyway. My girls were 3 months old when I got mine! Lol.
The child benefit is frozen! But I think its not a bad decision. Mine went up 3 times in a year.

Oh my god! How the heck did you manage that!! I thought I was lucky!

 

[Laura2919]

Personally I think the HIP was a total waste anyway. My girls were 3 months old when I got mine! Lol.
The child benefit is frozen! But I think its not a bad decision. Mine went up 3 times in a year.

Oh my god! How the heck did you manage that!! I thought I was lucky!

Lol. It started off at £132.80 then it went to £133.80 and then £134.80! When I phoned them up to query it they said that they didnt know either but £134.80 was the right amount.

 

[Mumof42009]

I'm a single mum and on benefits since oh left me raising 4 kids, in the time I've been on them I've been back to college and got qualification's so I can train to become a Nurse from Sept. I'm also applying for jobs as well as this ain't a life that I want and I will be honest I'm worried about sending ds to nursery because of his severe allergy's but I'm doing what I need to do for my kids. I got the grant with ds but non of the other's as I worked I do think it should be limited say to a certain amount. I brought most of my stuff second hand and saved the rest for whenever he needs clothes over the years.

 

[indy and lara]

personally no i wouldnt uproute a whole family for a job you could be sacked from within 6months..the way things are going at the moment there are no jobs out there...my OH works i dont personally work ..but i want to go back to work..
but at this moment in time its not going to happen as i would not and will not leave my kids in a private nursery..with the things that go on in some nurserys these days...
thats what puts people off going back to work early.

That is disgusting. I started to type a response to that but you know what, I am not going to waste my time.

Can I ask why this is disgusting? Its just how she feels. And if im honest its how I feel too. I dont know whether my feelings on this are clouded due to my PND, infact they most likely are, but branding someones genuine concerns for their childs safety 'disgusting', no matter how illogical and absurd they may be to you is just rude imo. My mum has a fear of buttons - absurd yes but a genuine fear none the less.

Stories like the recent ones about the nurseries are horrific and the thought of that happening to my little adam actually reduces me to tears. Im a cynical person, I expect the worst and aim to prevent it - its how I am. My life experiences have made this way and as for schools - i'll be honest and admit this has even made me look into homeschooling. Im not wrapping him in cotton wool, just trying to do what I feel is necessary to keep him safe - as my child, that is my responsibility so if that makes me disgusting then so be it - these are just my concerns and how Im am dealing with them .

Just wanted to add to that Indy and Lara I only quoted you to reference your use of the word disgusting - my post is not aimed at you unless stated

As a teacher who has worked in both nursery and school situations where do you want me to start with this one?

There have been a few isolated incidents in nurseries. Frankly they are horrific, you won't find me saying otherwise, but they are not representative of the Nursery system as a whole. I have only know dedicated and hard working nursery nurses who are paid a pittance to an unbelievably responsible and important job.

The checks and balances in place in all nurseries (from babies up to pre-schoolers) to keep children safe are wide ranging and all encompassing. If they are not running properly then that is the type of thing picked up very quickly by the Care Commission.

Children sadly are far more at risk of abuse from someone they know or in their own family, not from strangers. That is the frightening and sobering truth of the matter. I am sick of reading people stating that they do not want their child in nursery as they are at risk from a paedophile. I am sorry that you find it rude but I am not willing to sit by and listen to people saying/insinuating my colleagues and I are a danger to children.

People are allowed to be cautious. Some people may be more so for reasons you do not know about which is why I said it was rude to call someone's genuine concern 'disgusting'. I wont allow anyone but my dad to drive Adam around - I trust noone with him but my dad, as I feel he is a more careful driver. I am not saying that my sister or his dad or his other grandparents are irresponsible drivers, just that imo I'd feel safer knowing my dad is driving iykwim? If my dad cant drive us I choose to walk. This is because he's my son and these are my concerns. Same as id feel safer knowing he was with me or a member of my family. Being concerned about your child going to nursery is not a sole reason not to work, but it can be a contributing factor if someone feels strongly enough about it and dont think its for anyone else to say but that childs mother

I wish I didnt feel so overly cautious with regards to Adam, all the time, but thats how I am.

Noone is saying you or your colleagues are a danger to children and its certainly not tarring everyone with the same brush - its just that headlines can scare people and especially when its to do with children or other vulnerable people. My point is you cant blame people or be angry with them for being worried or cautious..

I just dont see why someone was getting jumped on for stating a genuine concern. The posts I read seemed almost to mock the concept or being worried about your child at nursery. Im sure there are lots of people who are, it just depends on the type of person you are, where you live and how strongly you feel about it as well as a million other things.

Nobody said having a genuine concern was wrong, but using it as an excuse for not being able to work, and claiming its the reason why people dont go back to work just doesnt wash with me and it never will im afraid, so i dont mind if i get lumbered on the rude wagon either, people are extremely quick with the hypocrisy on this thread (not you btw) just highlighting, its not ok to tarr people on benefits with the same brush but it is ok to tarr all nursery workers with it

The OP stated that she was happy enough with the school her LO would go to because she knew all the staff. Nonsense. Schools have a regular turnover of staff, supply staff cover absences, janitors cover for each other, cooks transfer in and out and so on. What happens when her LO has a supply teacher- does she not take her in that day because the teacher is unknown?

As I said before, the greatest danger to children is someone they know, not someone outside the family. When you refuse to put your child in nursery because you believe the staff there will abuse your child(which lets be honest, is exactly what OP was saying) then I do find that disgusting and insulting. You are insinuating that childcare workers are a threat to your child and as others have said, tarring them with the same brush. I may not work in that nursery but it is a slur on my profession, a profession I feel very passionate about.