Christian ladies TTC, we can encourage one another.

[No Doubt]

Fern, I hope I'm not sounding insensitive. But couldn't you have the best of both options? You want to stop trying right? So couldn't you just stop without the bcp? This way you aren't trying, and if though do fall pregnant at some point then you won't feel guilty later for not trying. But after rereading your post I'm assuming the bcp helps with pain you get from the endo?

 

[littlejune]

Sportsygirl- That must be hard and shocking. I am also pregnant and I completely understand the deep, deep desire to have your baby be perfect and healthy- I want that too SO badly. I'm not sure where I would be if I find myself in your position in a few weeks. However, from a perspective of someone who is working in and becoming a special ed teacher- you are going to be so so blessed. I know you know this, but I want to affirm this truth. Your baby is going to be so loved, and so happy and will still have so many opportunities. You can't imagine how much this baby will shine, and teach others. I'm not discrediting the shock or hardship of this news, but I am telling you how magical downs kids are, and what a wonderful life you will give your baby. This is a deep trust God has put in you to take care of a child with special needs, it's an honor- you must truly be a wonderful woman. I will pray for you guys!!

Cupcake- Keep up the hard work towards fitness, it isn't easy. I have really struggled with health and wellness this first trimester, more than ever before in my life. I have faith in you!

Fern- I wish I had more wisdom to offer, but I honestly don't. Just know I will keep you in my prayers.

AFM- I have really been a prayer warrior against the enemy and for my baby. As a natural worrier- of course I get carried away in fear with this pregnancy, but by the grace of God and spending time in his word and prayer, he has truly given me peace. Now, I just need to be more conscious of honoring my body for myself and my baby- falling into a routine of eating sugars and carbs is too easy as it's all that really sounds good, or stays down right now. But my body is not my own- and certainly my health now is more important than ever. I'm praying for, and asking for prayer in a journey towards a more healthy pregnancy.

 

[No Doubt]

June I understand that. Eating healthy in pregnancy was ready for my, but not now and I'm breastfeeding. Well natural sugars help...like fruit? When I was pregnant and would get a sweet craving I would have a pb&j. Not the healthiest but better than sweets and it can serve as a meal. Prepacking meals also worked for me.

 

[ProfWife]

Fern - I'd suggest seeing if that specialist can move up the date. You could go on bc temporarily until you can meet with a specialist in order to give yourself a few months off the feeling of ttc. Keep in mind though, that after bcp, your cycles can continue to change. There's no real "advantage" to bcp other than knowing that it's a lower percentage (can't say 0 - I have a nephew conceived on bcp and a good friend's baby same thing).

Sportysgirl - I'll be praying for you and your husband and your sweet little baby. It may not be expected, but God wasn't thrown a curve ball by your situation or your reactions to it. He knows what is going on and what that child will do in life. And He knew you would be the perfect Mommy for the little one. Praying for your peace as you start this journey.

AFM - Follicle scan revealed a 23mm on right and a 21.3mm on left. E2 level - 222. I'm triggering tonight. I think this may be the best chance we've had in the 2.25 years we've been trying!

 

[No Doubt]

Praying it all works Pro. Those are good numbers it sounds like. Beautiful follie length!

 

[littlejune]

That's a great suggestion, No Doubt- thank you!

 

[Fern81]

Hi ladies

Thanks for the support, the time you have taken to reply to a difficult question is really appreciated. I wanted some outside opinions (bigger picture) to help me make this personal decision and you ladies have been very helpful. Have also talked to DH and my sister extensively, and have come to a decision for now.
I'm going to try and schedule the appt for the endometriosis specialist asap, but it will still take a few months. The previous bcp that I've been on was prescribed by my GP; I want the specialist to prescribe something specifically helpful for endo (yes, it suppresses endometrial growth so decreases the endo pain). In the mean time, we are going to ttc this month with low dose clomid (!), probably take a break from clomid again next month and see what happens. DH and I decided (again) to not plan too far ahead. I can always go back on bcp for a while and ttc after that again. But I have decided to get professional advice as to which bcp will be the best for this painful endo situation.
We also approached my sister about the possibility of her being a surrogate, and talked about maybe doing ivf one day (I don't really want to go that route but we will see how we feel if still no bfp in another couple of years!). DH is still dead set against adoption. For now we are still going to focus on what's good in life and wait to see the dr before making other decisions.

I don't want to give up on the idea of having kids but at the same time ttc and failing each month is extremely grueling and getting more so with each passing year. So I need to take my mental health into consideration as well. Anyways, for now we will still try till I get to see the dr.

Hope you all have a blessed week!

Thinking of you all xxxx

 

[No Doubt]

Hi ladies! Checking in to see how we are all doing. Things are well...busy and exhausting, but good, lol.

 

[cupcakestoy]

Hey! Same around here! Losing weight, saving money for ivf, but we are gearing up to do a few more iuis beginning in July!

 

[ProfWife]

I've completed 3 medicated months with nothing but a potential chemical pregnancy to show. I have to repeat my hsg this month; so we have to take the month off of medication.

I'm having a really crappy day. Hit me that since I'm leaving my school, no one will be around to actually celebrate with me if I do get pregnant. I've watched all my friends be surrounded by all this love and encouragement...I will miss out on that. Most of the people I've helped (showers, food, visits, etc.) have moved or are leaving or have 2-3 kids...I can't expect them to help us in any way - it's not fair to ask people already tapped out...

So, I'm just feeling like even if we do finally fall pregnant - there won't even be anyone around to celebrate with us. I know, it's selfish of me to think that way. I've missed out on so much already... the miracle of a surprise baby, the blissful ignorance that people sometimes struggle to conceive, potentially even natural conception is going to be taken from me as we may have to go to IVF to have a biological child...to have to give up the excitement of friends, the daily enouragement I've tried to be to others...it's reduced me to tears today.

Pity party of one - table is clearly ready......

(Sorry...had to get that out)

 

[cupcakestoy]

Pro-*virtual hugs* vent away sweetie! I do believe you will be surprised by people who are there to celebrate your bfp when the time comes, but I know I feel like people are lapping us too!

 

[ProfWife]

I know - I think deep down I'm having a hard time giving up my role as teacher at the end of the year. It's defined a large part of who I am for 11 years of a career and 15 years including college. Now, I'm giving it up - not to become a mother though...I'm not pregnant. I always thought I'd be leaving it to take on a new role - - - but this is a blind leap when it comes to that. There's not something waiting for me. It's scary.

A lot of the angst that got poured out at you unfortunate listeners today came from the fact I was cooped up with my inlaws since Tuesday (negative tests and AF start) without an outlet or a moment alone except when showering and sleeping. They just left and it all came tumbling out...

 

[No Doubt]

Sorry Pro. I know it's difficult, especially when you feel like people are lapping you. I'd felt that way, but people were there for me and they will be there for you too.

 

[littlejune]

Pro- really sorry you're feeling this way. I find there is nothing worse than really having hard emotions to deal with but having to socialize or host people. I will definitely keep you in my prayers during these last few weeks of the school year- and pray that God work through you and give you peace and joy for this leap of faith.

AFM- I do need prayer ladies. I love my job so much, but unfortunately my kids are just too aggressive for me to return next year; to be honest- today is the first day back from spring break and I am really nervous to return now as I've gotten considerably bigger in the last 2.5 weeks. I don't know if I could handle myself if I managed to get injured and hurt my baby. Also, I will really miss my boys next year. I have a lot of mixed emotions for these last few weeks with them. What's more- my district is not suggesting they will help to accomodate me or transfer my position regardless of the danger to myself and my unborn baby. As it stands- my only real choice is to resign the end of this year and hope to try to find insurance we can afford to cover me in time to give birth. It's a pretty stressful situation- but God brought us here and he will take care of us.

Thanks ladies- have a wonderful week!

 

[ProfWife]

Littlejune - Can husband's insurance pick you up or is it too expensive? The way ours works is if a "life event" occurs (like me quitting, having a child, etc), I can get on his insurance immediately.

With the way your school year works, would you be covered through June or July? (Our contract runs August 1- July 31)

 

[No Doubt]

Praying for you June. If hubbs can't cover you do you think you could find something in the mean time?

 

[littlejune]

Thanks ladies- DH insurance premiums would go up to around 1500 a month with a baby and I. He is also a teacher and our insurance is ok for ourselves, but is ridiculous to add others onto. As it is, my term goes until sept 1. I'm due on the 18th so that's why I am a little bit nervous. We will opt for private insurance but in the meantime may look into state support- my biggest fear is just not having coverage while giving birth. I appreciate the prayers- I know it will all work out.

 

[ProfWife]

This will sound awful coming from a fellow teacher as I know how much we all love our schools and roles - - - do you have official "maternity leave" or paid time off you could use through the 18th of Sept and then not go back?

COBRA may also have options for you. That's who picked up insurance after my father was forced to quit his job due to cancer treatments and time off (even though technically that's illegal, they went with the "he's not keeping up with demand" excuse...and FL is a "right to work" state which allows termination for cause if they can find one).

 

[No Doubt]

Good idea Pro. I don't think it sounds awful. People do that and as long as you've been there long enough you're entitled to that time. A girl at my job did that when she had her daughter. And it was no secret that she wasn't returning.

 

[littlejune]

Prof, that doesn't sound awful at all, I have looked into it and it looks like FMLA laws in our area state you must return to work for 90 days if you get any payment (for us, I think we use up all of our sick and personal days which amounts to about 4 weeks) otherwise you owe the money back. Also, no one wants to teach in the classroom I work in because the boys are so severe needs-it will be hard enough to find people at this point let a lone last minute. COBRA does have options- I can keep my insurance for 600 a month plus premiums and co pays. If worst comes to worst I will do that. I appreciate all of the help and suggestions. I've been researching this a lot- it just seems like a bit of a loss but I know God has it in his hands.