Clomid/FE Conceived Buddies :)

[rickyandlucy]

Sarah, sounds like things are headed the right direction. Your DH sounds amazing. Praying you get to go home to your two guys ASAP!

 

[Nita2806]

Sarah! I hope this was the last hiccup in your journey, and that you will be home with DH and William soon.

I am sure I will regret saying that I am ready for her to come, but DH and I are so exited to meet her Already have my MIL/FIL, DH's cousin and aunt and a friend who all said they will gladly babysit if DH and I want to sleep DH will hopefully get a full weeks leave and after that my granny is coming to help me out for a week as well. So I feel we have things in place, we are ready. Now I just hope Baba grows big and strong before delivery

 

[sarah2211]

Thanks. We got to go home yesterday and today we locked the door and had no visitors. It was so good.

Nita I get what you mean but enjoy the now and the feeling of her growing inside you. You'll never get that back. The reflux will disappear but you'll be left with lots more other things that aren't fun haha. Like cracked nipples, after birth pains, bleeding, living off no sleep, eating with one hand haha. Things like going to the toilet become a mission in between everything else that consumes your day. It's so easy for a whole day to pass and you not know what you've actually done. I just sit here feeding for hours and try to get him to sleep for hours.

Also completely TMI but any dignity you once had is all gone in child birth, especially for a c section. Whether its people sticking their fingers inside you, your waters leaking out, peeing yourself, people seeing you completely naked, being asked when you last did a poo, if you've farted, lying there and having someone come and check your pad while you're half asleep. My DH has touched almost every body fluid of mine, changed my pad, and even watched them put my catheter in and pull William out of my tummy. Even on Sunday my midwife swabbed my vagina while he sat there and watched. There's pretty much nothing left to see haha.

We gave William his first bath tonight and he hated it. DH has now been pee'd on more times than I can count haha.

 

[rickyandlucy]

So glad you are home Sarah!

 

[Bonnie11]

Sarah I completely agree! Any dignity I once had has long gone 😂 I remember trying to shower a couple of days later in hospital and realised I couldn't bend down and pick up my dirty pants/pad etc from the floor so had to call a nurse in to help me pick them up and put my clean ones on! Looking back I can laugh but at the time it was pretty embarrassing 😂
Hope you are on the mend now, having a real life baby and birth is very different to the idea you have about it in your head. It's real, raw, exhausting, cracked nipples, bleeding, crying, some days you wonder how you'll get through it but you do. No matter how many times you try to explain to people during pregnancy what it will be like it's still a shock. But honestly it's worth it and soon enough you will be up and about and a pro at doing things single handedly! Think it was about 6 months before I felt in control of things.

Hang in there Sarah, lots of boob massage and cabbage leaves and hot and cold compresses will help any mastitis symptoms x

 

[Nita2806]

Haha, I have to share what I am doing with you ladies. I got home to burst water pipe and no water at home, no one in sight to fix this and it will most likely not happen in the next week, bcoz in South Africa, we work on African time (in other words we dont work) any way, DH and I decided to braai, or BBQ as you may know it. He is currently stuck in traffic(first day in months that he isnt wotking overtime) and who knows what time he will be home, so being 7,5 months pregnant, I started the fire by myself and I guess I need to braai the meat as well. I am absolutely exhausted so I am just sitting here laughing at myself, but I guess its not really funny. Ah fun and games.

 

[sarah2211]

Bonnie I think you probably know exactly what I mean haha. I was going to the toilet 3 days post c section and my pad dropped into the toilet haha. My DH fished it out and put it in the rubbish bin. Haha nothing has been left unseen by him or my midwife. Topics I would have been to embarrassed to talk about have just become part of regular conversation haha. I don't even try to hide it anymore.

It's been really hard dealing with the emotional side of it. It's not what I wanted as you all know and I'm a person who likes to be in control, have a plan and be organized. But nothing went to plan during the labour. I still feel disappointed and a failure even though it wasn't my body that wasn't coping. There's no way to describe having your stomach cut open, your baby taken away, your husband leaving your side, your baby having trouble breathing and asking what's happening and getting no answer. Then for days not being able to do anything when your baby is crying. Then your boobs get so engorged and your stomach is so sore you can't even hold your baby. We've been told to wait 18 months before trying for number 2 but I can't even begin to think about that.

Bonnie, what happened with your daughters birth? And how did you cope emotionally and physically? And are you doing a TOLAC this time? Sorry you probably have said all this before but my brain is mush haha.

We had a great night last night, he slept in 4-5 hour chunks, woke up to feed and change and then straight back to sleep. I doubt we will get a repeat of that tonight but I feel so much more rested so I'll take what I can get!

 

[sarah2211]

[/ATTACH][/ATTACH][/ATTACH][/ATTACH]

Im not sure what pictures I've already shared but here's the wee man he's got the grumpy face sorted.

 

[ttc126]

Sarah I'm sorry. C section recovery is definitely not a joke. Don't beat yourself up or feel like a failure. You made all the best decisions you could! He's here and healthy and you WILL heal and feel good again ❤️ I'm sorry about your infection. I had that with my oldest too. I had a traumatic birth with him as I've said before and everything went wrong. I felt awful about it for a long time. You will feel better and better, just be gentle on yourself.

If I go into labor on my own I think I want to try for a vbac. Idk. I might change my mind but I am really leaning towards that. If I don't, I'll be having my section 7 weeks from today!

 

[sarah2211]

You're right. It's definitely no joke. And now Kate Hudson has come out saying it was the laziest thing she's ever done... crazy. I know deep down that me, my husband, my midwife and the doctors did everything we could to make sure this didn't happen. I definitely did, spending weeks trying to turn him from posterior the first time, cutting down on work to lower my BP, all the stretch and sweeps and EPO. I'm sure in time I'll shake that feeling but it's so hard when the pain is a constant reminder. I've got some morphine but I'd rather not take it because I know it goes into my milk.

Wow 7 weeks! I've heard that RCS are easier to heal from than EMCS. Maybe because you haven't been labouring and then had something go wrong? If I knew this was how it was going to have gone I would have packed my hospital bag differently and organized things at home differently too. I hope things go to plan for you this time TTC.

 

[Nita2806]

TTC - are you also feeling like the time is going by really slowly now? My EDD is exactly 7 weeks from today, and I feel like this last week was atleast 4 weeks long. Are doctors there willing to do vbac's? On our local forums, a lot of women want to go for a vbac but the doctors here dont seem willing to do it, due to the risks.

Sarah, I am just like you, I want to be in control! I have however made peace with not being in control. Yesterday I spoke to my work about maternity leave and I told them, its so unpredictable, I will work until I no longer can, and when baby comes (and we dont know when) I will be completely off for 3 weeks and I think I will start to work again in February. It seems like a lot of women with Gestational hypertension, ends up being induced - I am made peace with the idea, and I know induction can lead to an emergency c section. Whatever happens, happens - as long as both me and baby are ok and healthy I will be happy and cope with whatever is needed.

 

[sarah2211]

Here, VBACs or a TOLAC (a trial of labour after a caesarean) is encouraged. The c section rate has increased from 19 to 30-33% here and they want to reduce that.

Honestly Nita, if you can avoid induction then do. Don't be in a rush to get her out if it's not necessary. Even if your OB is pushing it, I'd question whether it's necessary. I don't know if I'd not being induced what would have happened. Perhaps he would have moved himself to the right position in time. Maybe not. But I'll never know. I wouldn't wish an emergency c section on anyone.

And I found the third trimester went so quickly. The first was the slowest.

The little man has been clusterfeeding. I fed him almost straight from 2pm until 11pm last night. Unfortunately he's been losing weight. He lost 150g after he was born which is normal but by 14 days they should have gained it back. Well yesterday at 12 days he lost another 50g. My midwife is coming back on Friday to reweigh him. After all that drama with my midwife she's been amazing. Twice weekly home visits and she met me at hospital on Sunday morning with my infection and then came in first thing Monday morning to see me in hospital

 

[Nita2806]

I am happy to hear your midwife is so supportive Sarah. I hope he starts to pick up some weight soon. Luckily I was told that baby lose some weight in the first week, so I am prepared - would be very stressful if no one tells you lol.

I agree Sarah, I will be avoiding induction as much as possible. I want it to happen naturally - I want her to come when she is ready. My OB did say she want to deliver baby as close to the EDD as possible, and she wont induce before the time unless she has no other choice. She did mention with me there is 2 concerns that may lead to induction: 1.My BP might become an issue and 2. because she is so small, small babies have less of an urge to leave the womb.. if that makes sense? And at a point they stop growing - she will induce if I reach 40 weeks and baby shows no more growth. I am happy with this - I know the risks. I am just being more open minded now.

Friends of ours just announced they are pregnant again, with an oops. They are a bit older than us, and their kids currently are 10, 12 and 16 (all girls) - they are really hoping for a boy this time around. The husband said he is scared that he might be a grandfather before their baby will go to high school lol, I am so happy for them, its such a blessing to be able to be pregnant.

 

[Fluffycookie]

@sarah
From what I know, an emergency c-section (when you have laboured) is a totally different thing from a scheduled one, so that makes sense to me. Recovery is also different for different bodies no matter what kind of birth you had, so it's hard to compare! I'm glad your midwife is looking after you and you have your hubby to support you Those sweet pictures make me so broody!

@Nita
aww baby showers They're not really a thing in Germany (we're from the UK but I have German family who we live nearby now), so I'm hoping I will still get to have one here!
I think an open mind is best, you are absolutely right. My mum said that babies (or kids in general) never go by your plan and that starts in the womb. I'm a huge planenr and hate uncertainty, so she started telling me early on that I need to learn to let go more and expected the unexpected with a baby, haha. I think it's going to be a tough job for me tbh, but it's good to know now so I can start to get used to the idea.


AFM:
Sorry I have been quite absent recently, first trimester tiredness is kicking my butt pretty badly ^^" I'm 8w1d today Next ultrasound appointment will be at 11+2, I think after that I will really feel like we're out of the woods. We plan on telling extended family and friends at 12 weeks, so looking forward to no longer having to keep it a secret then! Will also need to tell work at that point... less excited about that
Nausea is still strong but I'm handling it a bit better, I've learned what foods make me less sick and I have some fruit and a cracker or something like that every 3 hours. I've been cleaning up the house and begun thinking about the room which will be the nursery. Currently cleaning it out a bit, don't really want to buy anything until I'm out of the first trimester!
That's all from me, not much going on other than work, cleaning and sleeping, haha X)

 

[Nita2806]

wow Fluffy! 8 weeks already - thats great. I remember feeling so tired in the first trimester, but I think it was mostly due to the progesterone - once I stopped it at 12 weeks, I felt much better. Just take it easy and take care of yourself - go to a spa or ask DH to massage you or just treat yourself - you wont have time to do this later on. I regret not spending more time on looking after myself, now I am just too uncomfortable and hot to even do anything. Time will go by quickly

Today is ticker day for me, yay! I miss my ticker buddy @Sarah

So irritated today - since my baby shower the weekend, the parenting advice from just about everyone have been flooding in. CANT HANDLE IT! The only person not giving advice is my MIL - she just says ignore everyone, you will know when the time is right to do whatever is needed <---- best advice ever!

 

[rickyandlucy]

Keep the pics coming Sarah! And I am so happy for you that it seems your midwife is now your biggest advocate.

Fluffy I am right behind you; 8 weeks today. Exciting to open the Ovia app this morning and see that our baby finally has hands and feet, albeit teeny tiny, lol. When is your next ultrasound? We go back on Monday and I am so anxious, really wish they could have gotten us in before the weekend!

 

[Fluffycookie]

@Lucy
I keep looking ahead and by 9 weeks, they really look a lot more like babies already My next ultrasound is at 11+2, so tomorrow in three weeks. Since everything was looking good, I will have ultrasounds about every 4 weeks until the third trimester I believe (and then every 2?). My doctor said too frequent ultrasounds without indication are not good for the baby as the ultrasound heats up the amniotic fluid, so there is a safe balance between too few and too many (depending on if there is any reason you would need additional ones of course, in which case the benefits might outweigh the risks, etc). Feels like forever away!

 

[Nita2806]

Fluffy, my appointments worked like this --> every 4 weeks until 28 weeks, then every 2 weeks until 36 weeks and then every week

 

[rickyandlucy]

Fluffy: Yeah that sounds like how my appointments will go. We live in a small town and there is only one obgyn here. One of my best friends is 4 weeks ahead of me and just had her 12 week appt yesterday. I can't wait to get to that point!!!!!

 

[Bonnie11]

Bonnie I think you probably know exactly what I mean haha. I was going to the toilet 3 days post c section and my pad dropped into the toilet haha. My DH fished it out and put it in the rubbish bin. Haha nothing has been left unseen by him or my midwife. Topics I would have been to embarrassed to talk about have just become part of regular conversation haha. I don't even try to hide it anymore.

It's been really hard dealing with the emotional side of it. It's not what I wanted as you all know and I'm a person who likes to be in control, have a plan and be organized. But nothing went to plan during the labour. I still feel disappointed and a failure even though it wasn't my body that wasn't coping. There's no way to describe having your stomach cut open, your baby taken away, your husband leaving your side, your baby having trouble breathing and asking what's happening and getting no answer. Then for days not being able to do anything when your baby is crying. Then your boobs get so engorged and your stomach is so sore you can't even hold your baby. We've been told to wait 18 months before trying for number 2 but I can't even begin to think about that.

Bonnie, what happened with your daughters birth? And how did you cope emotionally and physically? And are you doing a TOLAC this time? Sorry you probably have said all this before but my brain is mush haha.

We had a great night last night, he slept in 4-5 hour chunks, woke up to feed and change and then straight back to sleep. I doubt we will get a repeat of that tonight but I feel so much more rested so I'll take what I can get!

Yes you can't have any shame or embarrassment when you've had a baby I'm afraid &#128514;

My experience was different to yours but similar outcome.
I was induced as my medical team all thought it was best. My blood pressure was up and down, I had a slight problem with my heartbeat (nothing serious) and also bordering on gestational diabetes. Basically I think my body was done with being pregnant! I ended up going in very relaxed. Had 5 pessaries over 4 days, nothing happened. They tried to break my waters and couldn't. They said they would leave me another few days to see what happened but a few hours later her heartbeat started dropping with the contractions and then my blood pressure started dropping and we couldn't do anything else as they still couldn't break my waters.. so I was kind of stuck because I knew she was getting distressed. So they whipped me in for a section then and there and half an hour later she was right there! I don't think she was coming out naturally as they still had to forceps her out from under my ribs, she was stuck way up high. The surgeon said there was no way she was coming out naturally.
I was upset afterwards like you but honestly it does pass. I felt like I had failed, it wasn't what I had planned in my head. I hated being dependent on other people to help me with her. I was angry it hadn't gone 'right' in my head but in the end I have a healthy baby and I can't really be cross about that. I'm sad for me not for her.
It is hard, but I promise it will ease soon. When I think about how hard I tried to get her and how long we had to wait I'm just greatful she's here and healthy and I am too, and that's more important than my perfect birth idea. We would probably both have died if it wasn't for the section so it's what needed to happen.

Next time it's up to me, they can't induce me due to previous section so it depends on me going into labour naturally, breaking my waters is the only thing they can do to help. It's a tough decision. A planned section is so very different to an emergency I've realised. You're mentally prepared as much as anything. And the recovery is much easier. I've spoken to so many doctors and midwives and friends about my decision and I still haven't made it yet! What I don't want to happen is to try again naturally and end up with another emergency section, I would rather have a planned one if that will happen but of course no one knows! At the moment I'm booked in for a section at 40 weeks and they will try and break my waters when I get there to see if I can go naturally. I would advise anyone against induction unless there is a medical reason to do it. I think babies come when they are ready and induction should be a last option. Thinking back I wish I would have waited for the induction and hung on another week but as I said she's here now and we are both healthy and I can't ask for more than that.

Hang in there, time really does heal. In a years time you really won't care what kind of birth you had I promise you xx