Clomid/FE Conceived Buddies :)

[Nita2806]

Ladies, it hurts everyone when you fight, even those of us just watching from the "New Posts" section. Be kind and understanding to each other.

Ask, I think you (and anyone else in your position) need to take responsibility for protecting yourself. The Clomid thread is in the regular TTC board. It is NOT in a clearly marked safe space. Start a thread over in Assisted Conception or LTTTC with clear rules for sharing BFP/scans/etc if you need a proper safe space.

From another perspective, I found miscarriage stories deeply upsetting when I was newly pregnant because my mother had 10+ angels before I stuck, and I really appreciated the forum I was using requiring "trigger warnings" on those posts.

Thank you for this post. I really appreciate it.

 

[Four2Five]

I honestly don't mind the tickers or anything...I have been TTC a total of 10 years and had two dd so maybe I don't count...but I plan to follow both threads as I am TTC and I do love watching Nita and TTC and the other ladies pregnancies. I personally feel like when you've walked this journey with a friend for so long that you have a bond that only women with infertility can understand and the support should continue through pregnancy as well. I have appreciated everyone's answers and support through my journey. I hate to see everyone torn like this but I will follow both threads

 

[Norelisa]

I honestly don't mind the tickers or anything...I have been TTC a total of 10 years and had two dd so maybe I don't count...but I plan to follow both threads as I am TTC and I do love watching Nita and TTC and the other ladies pregnancies. I personally feel like when you've walked this journey with a friend for so long that you have a bond that only women with infertility can understand and the support should continue through pregnancy as well. I have appreciated everyone's answers and support through my journey. I hate to see everyone torn like this but I will follow both threads

I did not mind until the TTC thread had more active users with BFPs than TTC I dont have ANY children and found it strangely upsetting to see so many people talking about it, so much so that I could not bear reading the thread for over a month..

How about having this thread for asking for advise, and keep the TTC board for TTCers? Obviously super happy for BFPs there, but boy, did it hit hard seeing so many at once getting their BFPs when we have been trying for 1.5years..

And for those who have not been part of the other group, sorry to barge in here... I am clearly NOT pregnant..

 

[Ask4joy]

No point in continuing to argue. We don't see eye to eye and that's fine. I undestand how quickly the pain disappears when you get that BFP and how life-changing it is in an instant.

 

[Nita2806]

I think we have all said what we wanted. Anyone is welcome to the thread, whether asking for advice, just lurking or sharing their pregnancy updates. I think it is quite clear that the other thread be only for those still TTC and I respect that.

Ask, it may just be my hormones but I cried when I read about your MC, it was soo hard to read that. And I honestly hope you dont have to go through it again, I know you are angry and upset right now, you have all the right to be.

I would love to post some pregnancy updates again without it upsetting anyone, as that is what this thread was intended for. Hope to see it grow from the TTC board.

Sorry to everyone who found my comments uosetting or insensitive, it was not my intention

 

[Ask4joy]

Thank you, Nita. I really appreciate that.

I am sorry for being so reactive and do not want to lose any of you as my ttc friends! I will be checking in on this thread from time to time when I'm in the right frame of mind!

Wishing all of you ladies a h&h 9 months.

 

[Nita2806]

Thank you, Nita. I really appreciate that.

I am sorry for being so reactive and do not want to lose any of you as my ttc friends! I will be checking in on this thread from time to time when I'm in the right frame of mind!

Wishing all of you ladies a h&h 9 months.

 

[Four2Five]

I love you all So proud of the apologies and the forgiveness

 

[sarah2211]

Wow... due to time zones I'm only just reading this all now.

I didn't mean to open a can of worms, which is why I said this on this thread, rather in the TTC ones.

Trust me Ask, I have not and could not ever forget the pain of miscarrying or infertility. I find that offensive you even think that I have. As Nita said, we went through months and months of long cycles, provera, metformin, Clomid, appointments and tests. We struggled to get to this point and I'll tell you that for me, every day of my pregnancy is a struggle. Not that you want to hear this (but hey we are in our safe thread over here) but I'm particularly high risk, have to give myself daily injections and have a number of a specialists I see regularly. I am allowed to share that my baby is the size of a large McDonald fries. I'm allowed to be excited that I am still pregnant, I haven't had a blood clot or my kidneys are failing me this week. I don't come and share information about the scans or feeling the baby move over there. We shared relevant information (number of babies on the dose we were on, needing progesterone etc)

Also, like Nita said, when we have come back to the TTC thread it's been to offer support, encouragement and advice around the medication we have been on and are mostly all taking. Nita and I have both had experience of the side effects, what helps and what we did to gain success. For us, we didn't ovulate so unsurprisingly we had success on Clomid and we shouldn't be expected to hide or apology for that fact.

Reading these posts and the ones in the TTC thread (which like someone pointed out isn't a "safe space". I have even continued to chat in the LTTTC Clomid thread along with others who have their BFP and have been nothing but supported) make me feel really sad. We were all able to get along and support each other when we were all TTC but now that we have had success it's feels as though we are no longer welcome. There is not a limited number of BFPs or babies in this world. Just because we have had success doesn't mean you can't and won't. It's not possible to block out every pregnant women in the world and it hurts to know you have ill feelings towards us after we have struggled.

Like Nita, I'll be saying goodbye to the other TTC thread. Hopefully some day soon we will see you here and this will all be a distant and forgotten memory.

 

[BelleNuit]

Hey there, I know this has largely been resolved. I am very pleased that a new forum was created in the LTTTC board with guidelines regarding pregnancy updates and tickers. It is clear that this is a sensitive issue for many.

I want to clear the air. I am not jealous or envious that anybody has received a BFP. I am happy for you ladies You are the success stories and you should share the good news and revel in your pregnancies.... in the appropriate space.

That said, I do need to protect myself, and the constant reminders of what you have and what I don't hurts, badly. For me its not a matter of "when I get pregnant." I truly wonder if I will EVER get pregnant, and that is what makes the pregnancy updates and tickers so difficult to bear, especially in what should be a safe space. Frankly I don't know if I will ever be able to join you ladies here. If I am ever as lucky as you all are and do end up pregnant, your babies will probably all already be born and you will have moved on lol

I am happy that if I want I can check here for updates about how you are doing. This way I can prepare myself mentally for it ahead of time. The random updates and tickers in that old thread were difficult to tolerate because I couldn't prepare myself for it.

I think if you want to offer support to those who are still ttc over in the new LTTTC board then go ahead! Just be mindful, use a spoiler button for your ticker for that post, or put up a trigger warning loud and clear so that people who need to protect themselves can a little easier. If you want to share a pregnancy update over in that forum put it in a spoiler tab (personally I would hope that no pregnancy updates would be made over there, since this lovely forum exists here!). Yes we are asking you to do more work, but that is because you are in a position of privilege Enjoy it!

I hope that everyone has had a chance to say their piece and that we can all move on!

 

[Nita2806]

I believe all have been said, and both threads can go on as ussual. Let's move on now..

Besides all that has been said, how is everyone feeling? I am starting to get headaches from the Prog but atleast the dizziness seems to be better. My ticker should switch over to 9weeks today I cant wait for each week to go by to see what baby looks like in the next week.

 

[sarah2211]

I really feel for you Nita, being on progesterone. I felt terrible with the normal amounts of progesterone in my body. I hope you can rest.

I've been having a hard time with work and them being unreasonable with my medical appointments. My midwife wasn't happy and believes I'm medically unfit to be working currently and wants me to finish up now. So we will see. I might finish up in the next few months anyway.

 

[Nita2806]

I am looking forward to get the next month over and done with, I think I will feel like a brand new person once I stop the Prog Whenever I feel really bad or down, I look at our U/S image and just know it will all be worth it in the end.

Sorry about your work being so horrible, if they don't give you the leave you need, then leave them, it will be their loss anyway

 

[sarah2211]

I bet you will. Some days I have more energy than prepregnancy. Maybe that's just me though because for some people, Lupus disappears during pregnancy. But I have days where I get bursts of energy. That kicked in around week 13-14. Yup it'll all be worth it for our little monkeys.

Yeah I'll sort out the work business. It'll suck to not be earning money but it will be better than being unwell and risking my health even further.

It's all really quite depressing though. DH and I wanted 3-4 children and I was considering being a surrogate for my sister in law but it feels like pregnancy is putting such a strain on my body. I'm under specialists and having this and that test and medication. I had an appointment last week with the rheumatologist who basically said if my blood tests come back positive like they have been, I'll be back on Plaquenil (Lupus drug) at my next appointment and on methotrexate (chemotherapy) after the baby is born. The tests all came back positive and I'm waiting to see how my kidneys are doing. My blood pressure is high and I'll probably have to be medicated for that.

I'm so grateful to be pregnant and have our baby growing but my health is suffering big time.


But on a happy note, you have a tater tot Nita and I have a tall frappe!

 

[Nita2806]

I agree - risking your health and the pregnancy, is just not worth it. It is very important now that your health (for the baby) and the baby comes first. Do you think you would still go on and have 3 - 4? I guess, it depends how the rest of your pregnancy goes

To be completely honest - your monkey looks really good, although I don't do coffee I saw a picture of a kit kat lasagna on another thread, and oh my gosh, it looks amazing.

I am working flexi time at work now, to help me get more rest - but my boss is insisting I tell everyone at the office, I don't mind, but there is this one lady.....she already drives me insane, I don't think I can handle her knowing and going on about it I guess I can always tell her to mind her own business and just blame the hormones.

Had a visit at my dietitian again, and although my boobs didnt grow much in the last week (kind off dissapointing) my tummy is starting to grow about 2 - 3cm a week I am very short (1.5meter) so every little that I grow is clearly visable... it's exciting though to see the progress - I would highly recommend measuring your tummy once a week to see the progress

 

[ttc126]

Nita I'm sorry you're having a hard time on progesterone. Maybe you should call your doctor and tell her? I do not feel that bad on mine. Of course I've been on it this whole time so maybe I'm just used to it....

Sarah, that's horrible your work is being such a pain! You don't need that extra stress!

I'm just super worried over here as usual. I'm supposed to start weaning off my progesterone next week but I'm freaking out about that. I'm also really stressed between ultrasounds. I do feel sick most of the time which is reassuring but I'm just having a very hard time.

 

[Nita2806]

TTC - I think I may get used to it too, and its only 1 month (4 days already done and dusted). Isn't it a bit too early for you start weaning off the progesterone now? I have to take mine till week 12 until the placenta takes over.

I am sorry you are having such a rough time between scans - but I just know that everything will go great for you

 

[ttc126]

I do hope you get used to it! Also great idea you're taking it at night! Remember you can always insert the pills vaginally and there's much less side effects.
My fertility clinic starts weaning you off at 9 weeks, depending on blood work levels and how everything is going. Your placenta actually starts to take over week 8-9 and by week 10 is fully functional. Some doctors say to stay on longer just to be safe, but I'll be monitored with blood work and my doctor is the best RE in the region. I trust him completely and honestly would rather go off while being monitored so closely by him than when I transfer to my OB in a couple weeks.
Thanks for all your encouragement ❤ I know I need to relax but I just have a hard time! We may tell some close family on Saturday. I am nervous but hopefully it will be ok.

 

[Nita2806]

Ttc, I think I might be a but dramatic, before I took the Prog, I was feeling tired and fatique already, I think the prog make it a bit worse, but honestly, i wont have the worlds energy if I go off it. My OB doesnt take nonsense, I once went to her after getting sick on provera, and she said if you want a baby you gotta do these things, it wont be easy. Its almost weekend, and I plan to stay in bed and watch movies and series do you ladies have plans for the weekend?

Thats good news though that you will be monitored and get to go off the prog. I know telling you to relax is easy for me, but honestly, I too am stressed about baby, and I dont think it will stop, I felt relieved after my appointment on Monday, but I am super anxious all over again for the next one. However I do believe everything will work out for each of us. Its hard, but we need to stay positive and enjoy being pregnant

 

[Nita2806]

Oh, and regarding telling family, I think thats a great idea, and you need to do what feels right for you. I told family and friends after my scan on Monday and love the support I am getting, I dont regret it.