{CLOSED GROUP} Journey to BFP and Beyond!

[coucou11]

Thanks all! Bleeding slowed again and I made it through the meeting. I think I'll make it through the night and be ok for 9am. Feeling very emotional but it will be better, looking forward to chatting about ttc instead of d&c!

kdmalk - nice opks! That would be such a huge relief to O this cycle. As for the hcg test, it looks so so faint, I can barely see anything. Also, if it seems like you are getting ready to O, then maybe the super small amount of hcg left isn't really an issue? Will you go back in to your doc for a blood test at some point?

 

[tcinks]

Woah I missed a lot today! You girls are just chatting it up!

I haven't tested since Tuesday, I plan to tomorrow morning. Really hoping to finally see a negative, then go to my doctor to confirm.

I keep getting my hopes up that the spotting will stop, but it always comes back. Yesterday it was almost non existent, but today back dark red. I worry after 5 weeks that maybe it's retained product or something still in there, I'm really hoping not though. Don't have a fever or bad smell, but I have been kind of sore there on and off today. :/ Every little thing worries me these days.

Kdmalk that book would be perfect for me! Haha. Good thing I haven't seen it, I'd be freaking out thinking all that was happening to me.

How's everyone feeling about thanksgiving next week? I'm excited to see family, but I know it'll be tough. My sister is pregnant and sister in law just had a baby a few weeks ago. :/ Happy for them of course, but still...

 

[hanrh]

Wow, such a lot happens in a day around here! I can't keep up!!!

Coucou - I really hope all goes okay for you today. I know on was surprised at how quick it all was and the sense of relief I had afterwards.

Kdmalk - that opk is defo looking like o is coming which is great news! How long after your loss did you start on the opks?

Tcinks - I hope you get your negative on your next test. I think I will test again too today. I'm sorry you are still having bleeding. You don't think it could be Af merging in with the spotting do you? It's something I've read can happen.

 

[hanrh]

Oooh and for me, just took a hpt and the line is so faint I had to hold it up to the light to see. Crazy how a few months ago I would have been soooo excited to see that tiny faint line!!!

 

[zaycain]

Cou - Lots of prayers for you today. It is a relief.. but it can be very heartbreaking as well. We are here for you.

Kd - You crack me up. "I'm probably dying."

I've been a little out of the loop. Work is so stressful right now. I got a parking ticket. My back hurts like hell. I just want to throw myself a little pity party as I have been crying all week.

Can't wait for Thanksgiving Break!

 

[tcinks]

Oh zaycain, sorry you are having such a stressful week. :/ At least the weekend is.coming. You and hubby should do something fun!

I'm anxiously awaiting the mailman to bring my pregnancy tests!!! I need to test!!

 

[kdmalk]

Coucou- hope you are feeling well this morning and that everything went okay.

For thanksgiving... We are going to go ahead and celebrate with the family, but it won't feel the same. I would have been 13 weeks on thanksgiving and I was so excited and hoping to have a little bump. That is going to be the hardest part. But hopefully soon! Trying to just stay positive through the holidays.

Tcinks- hope your spotting stops. If your test is still positive, you should probably ask your doctor and let her(?) know you are worried about retained products. Hope everything it alright.

Hanrh- I think my first one was 13 days post d&c... More just because I wanted to pee on it and try it out. My cycles are usually 31-32 days, so I don't typically O until around cd16-17. But I do know that I haven't O'd yet, and I am saying cd18 today. So hopefully in the next couple days... Esp with opk getting darker. I've never used them before, so not really sure how many days it will get darker before I get a positive. Who knows?!

Zaycain- sorry work has been so stressful. I will come to your pity party.

 

[tcinks]

I went to my doctors office today for a blood draw, and I also talked to the nurse about my concern. Waiting for a call back from her after she talks to my doctor.

 

[tcinks]

I'm so annoyed with my family. Well specifically my dad and older brother. My family makes jokes out of everything, no matter the topic. They say really inappropriate things and they think its it's okay. Some of it I have really no problem with, but I think there are some things that should not be joked about. And they just don't seem to care. Luckily, they didn't say these things directly to me, but I heard about it later.
Anyway, so my oldest sister isn't my dad's biological daughter, but growing up it didn't matter to any of us (and still doesn't), she's just our sister. But recently she found out more details about her biological father which really the her for a loop and made her self- conscious. About two years ago she had her first baby and my dad would say things like "oh that's not my grandbaby" . He always treats him like it though, it's not like he actually feels that way (at least I think!) He just says really inappropriate things and doesn't understand how it makes people feel.

Well when he found out I was pregnant he was so excited. I mean yes it would have been his first BIOLOGICAL grandchild, but he raised my sister since she was quite young, he should have felt the same about hers. And my brother would talk to him about "how does it feel to finally be becoming a grandpa?" So mean for my sister and nephew. And now that I've lost my baby, he said something like "still not a grandpa yet huh?"

It makes me so upset ! Mostly for my sister, but also for me. They're just being really insensitive about the whole thing. They have never dealt with a miscarriage, and probably don't even think of my sweet little Ronen as an actual baby that I had who died. Just something else to joke about.

I was afraid of this, and so have really avoided my dad and brother these past five weeks. (I've seen my mom and other siblings and that's been good, and my husband's family has just been great). So not looking forward to holidays with them now...

Okay, rant over over now.

 

[zaycain]

Kd - Ha! I'll send your invitation. It will probably last all week. Bring comfy clothes!

tcinks - fingers crossed for you.

Cou - I hope your doing ok...

Hanrh - Sorry if I asked before.. what where your levels before you miscarried and when did it happen? I'm comparing how levels decrease.

Today is two weeks after the d&c. Still brown bleeding. Took an HPT test. Still pretty dark. Boo. Hopefully I'll get a blood test on Tuesday.

Thanksgiving will be hard. We had fun plans to tell people about the baby.

 

[coucou11]

Hi all - thanks so much for the support this week, it's meant a lot to me. D&C went fine this morning, it was weird and uncomfortable but definitely a relief, as you say zaycain. The worst part was the drive getting there - knowing, this is it, it's really going to be over now. My doc (who is the sweetest, I love her), said everything seems fine, and we should wait through one period to try again. So I'm hoping for January. She seemed confident that things would return to normal soon - she said she doesn't even want to see me again unless I am bleeding for more than 7 days. Also no hcg testing at all! It's funny how different doctors are around the country / world. She also did another sonogram after the procedure to make sure they got everything, so that was a relief. She says my lining is really thin now, they really had to scrape to get the sac off, she said it was really glued on there (ugh).

So, onwards and upwards. It was so nice to put away all the scary giant pads I had bought for the miscarriage, and bring out the thermometer.

Zaycain - I'm so sorry about your week! What a bummer. I hope this weekend turns things around. Maybe you can go out for ice cream? That always makes me feel better

Hanrh - glad to hear those lines are going away! Getting close to cd1!

kdmalk - I totally agree about Thanksgiving, it was going to be fun to be getting to tell people. Sigh. I'm hoping the holidays will make the time go faster until we can start trying again.

tcinks - I'm so sorry you are dealing with those family issue, that is not fun. I can't believe your dad says things like that! Does it make your sister upset? Has anyone ever talked to him about it? Or maybe if not to him, at least to your brother to tell him not to encourage it. Maybe you can prepare something to say to them if it comes up over the holidays. Something like, "you know, those kind of jokes make me really uncomfortable." Then you can just walk away. It's enough to make them feel bad, but it's not mean to them or hard to say necessarily. Hopefully they will get the hint!

 

[coucou11]

PS - tcinks - keep us updated on what the doctor says!

 

[tcinks]

Thanks coucou! It's getting a bit late now and I'm thinking maybe she won't get back to me today. :/ It's so frustrating sometimes when doctors are like "oh this is normal, nothing to worry about" . I'm still worried! And because they've seen things so often, it doesn't seem like z big deal...But when we're going through it, it is!!! Don't know if that's making sense, I just feel a little upset right now.

And I am glad everything went well today. I know it wad tough but now you can move on and look to the future. Hope everything gets back to normal for you soon and your body is ready to conceive again!!

 

[KTJ006]

CouCou- glad the procedure went well and everything was looking ok. Heart goes out to you as I know it is a hard thing to go through. I woke up crying from my procedure because I knew everything was "over." Stinks. One day at a time! Shoot me a message if you need to chat at all.

Zaycain- It's Friday!! I hope you are doing something fun tonight after a rough week. Chocolate, wine, and/or ice cream are definitely in order. Hoping you have an uneventful night.

Hanrh- FX'd you get to CD1 soon! I am waiting to O right now...Lord knows when that will be as I think the D&C messed up my cycles.

tcinks- That is hard with your dad. I'm wondering if he's saying these things and has absolutely no clue it's not appropriate. Some people really think some things are ok in their minds, when it's really not. I would mention something to him and see how he responds. He might just be trying to deal with everything in his own way (doesn't make it right; that's just how some people react). Did your doctor ever get back to you? Or will you have to wait until Monday? Thinking of you!

kdmalk - Same here! I don't even know how far along I was supposed to be at this point (I choose not to keep track anymore), but I do know it would have been close to the anatomy scan and a safe time to tell everyone. Not this time I just keep hoping that this time next year we'll have a sweet LO to snuggle.

Hello to everyone else I may have missed!! I am planning to do absolutely nothing this weekend - I'm talking staying in pjs at least all day tomorrow. This has been a rough week!

 

[tcinks]

Well its 6:30 now so I guess I'll have to wait until Monday. :/

Sorry it's been a rough week for you. I totally understand about staying in pjs all day, been doing that a lot lately.

But hubby and I are going out tonight! Looking forward to that.

 

[kdmalk]

Hi all! Another eventful day on the board! I'm sure I'll miss something when responding to everyone, so sorry if it is you! lol

tcinks- so sorry your doctor didn't get back to you. Glad you can get your mind off it with a night out with the hubby. I am going to a birthday party tonight, which will obviously be taking place at a bar (lol), so I am slightly excited to be able to have a drink or two with my friends. ...I plan to spend the rest of the weekend in pjs after that. So glad we are all on the same page here. Update us as soon as you hear back from the doctor.

cou- glad everything went as well as it could. Hope your lining bounces back fast! I really would have liked it if my doctor had done another scan and told me what the lining looked like after. As terrible as that information is, it also has to be nice to know everything is cleared out and your body can start to recover properly.

...considering peeing on another opk tonight, just to see. I'll probably update you guys on that later. lol. Hope everyone gets to cd1 quickly!

Side note (I am full of side notes), would anybody object to sharing first names? Feels so weird to call people by usernames. I can start us off... I'm Kylee. (if you don't feel comfortable sharing your name for whatever reason, it's okay!)

 

[kdmalk]

Couldn't resist. Did another opk today. Still negative and doesn't even look darker to me today. Ugh. What do you guys think? I think I am torturing myself. I should just stop.

 

[tcinks]

Kylee, I totally agree about first names! I'm Terrissa.
And I'm sorry about the opk. I know it's tough, but I'd probably try to cut back a little. I used to to test way too often with hpt to see if hcg was negative and it just got me more depressed seeing the lines over and over. So I cut back to every few days. Helped a lot because you see more progress that way.

 

[hanrh]

I know someone mentioned this before but is everyone us based here? I'm from the UK and I was just wandering as whenever I wake up I've missed LOADS! Time difference!! Haha.

Anyway, I just wanted to say, for those of you who are waiting for af like me, I found a really interesting site yesterday. https://www.pregnancyloss.info/waitingforaf.htm
It describes the whole process of waiting and what should be expected. So weird as I got quite a dark opk yesterday and ov type pains but it says this isn't ovulation, it's hormone starting up again! Worth a read!!

 

[sil]

I know someone mentioned this before but is everyone us based here? I'm from the UK and I was just wandering as whenever I wake up I've missed LOADS! Time difference!! Haha.

Anyway, I just wanted to say, for those of you who are waiting for af like me, I found a really interesting site yesterday. https://www.pregnancyloss.info/waitingforaf.htm
It describes the whole process of waiting and what should be expected. So weird as I got quite a dark opk yesterday and ov type pains but it says this isn't ovulation, it's hormone starting up again! Worth a read!!

Hey hun, I just wanted to hop in and say don't completely rule out ovulation! If your doctor says you are allowed to try right away again, I'd DTD during the dark opk anyways just in case. I personally got a positive opk and ovulated within a few days (I think it was 3) after my numbers returning to 0 and I actually caught my rainbow baby without even having a period. Although this is not necessarily the norm, if you did have o type pains and a positive opk you never know!