{CLOSED GROUP} Journey to BFP and Beyond!

[hanrh]

Hi Kels.
Glad to see another UK based lady on here. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It's such a difficult and confusing time.
I am glad you have come across this thread because it's really helped me. All the ladies on here are so supportive and sometimes it's just nice to vent or share how you feel. I am only 2 weeks post d&c so a week behind you. A Christmas bfp would be the best!!

 

[kels34]

Thanks han, its nice to read posts from other ladies who are going through the same sad time and experiencing the same emotions. Before our mmc I had no idea how common it was to miscarry so reading threads like this really helps

We are desperate to start trying again as soon as possible but at the same time I know anxiety levels will be at an all time high whn it does finally happen! I guess we will just need to cross that bridge when we come to it, but for now its just fingers crossed for a sticky little Christmas bean! xxx

 

[tcinks]

Hi Kels, sorry about your loss. How have you and your husband been dealing with it? Had you told all your friends and family about the baby? That was one of the hard parts for us, going back and telling everyone we were no longer pregnant. Or forgetting to tell someone and they ask "oh how is the baby doing?" . Heartbreaking all over again.

But I am glad you found us. Everyone here is super great. As for trying again, there are a lot of different opinions but I really think unless your doctor gave you some very specific reason not to (like that your uterine lining was damaged from the surgery) you can absolutely start trying again right away! It's been 5 1/2 weeks for me and I still have hcg/ light bleeding. :/ Was so hoping this would be over by now. But it's close.

 

[tcinks]

Hanrh - you should just make a big meal and celebrate it anyway. Haha. What food do you have for Christmas? And that's so nice you went out for the night! We've been having more nights out with friends and it has been so helpful. Oh and yes, Hunger Games is extremely popular! I haven't personally seen it because I avoid movies that have crazy hype. But whenever the movies come out, that's all you hear about for weeks!

 

[kels34]

Hi tcinks

So sorry for your loss and thanks for the lovely warm welcome, its such a horrible experience to go through and everyone on this site seem lovely. I know what you mean about breaking the sad news to people, this was our first pregnancy and everyone was so excited for us, we were devastated to have to go back and say what had happened.

We originally found out about the mmc on a sat and had confirmation after another scan 2 days later. Unfortunately the hospital was so busy that they couldn't perform the d&c until the Friday after so hubby and I had the whole week together to grieve for our loss and talk / cry through everything just the 2 of us. I think having this time together really helped because it almost felt like closure once the operation finally came around.

There are still days when I feel sad and teary or when little things remind me of what should have been, but we are trying to focus on getting excited about the future and moving forward.

My family are still in NZ and OH's live mostly in Spain or other parts of the UK so we didn't have a lot of family around us when we found out. Everyone knew we were expecting and as soon as the scan confirmed the worst we called and told them - in a way I was glad for it to just be hubby and I at home, I think we needed time alone as a couple and it might have been harder with lots of other people around us grieving for their loss too.

The surgeon said we could start trying again after my first period but didn't explain why so Im thinking it was probably for standard dating reasons. I didn't need a follow up appointment and the hpt this morning was negative so I think we will ttc again as soon as possible.

How about yourself? xxx

 

[tcinks]

It's good you are able to stay positive. Right after it happened, I was too in shock to believe (mine wasn't a missed miscarriage, it just all of a sudden happened after I'd had a bleed the day before, baby was fine and growing and growing healthy). Well, I thought i was okay those first few days. But the next week or two after were so hard. I cried and didn't want to talk to anyone except my husband. I laid on the couch watching movies and scouring the internet for info on why this happens (I KNEW about miscarriage, but didn't really know , nobody close to me had one). And just trying to figure out when I could get pregnant again. It took like 4 weeks for me to really be okay. I'm actually doing really well now this forum is a big part of that. So few women in my real life have been through this , so talking to them about it, they don't understand. It's nice to have a group of women who have been through to encourage you along the way. We will try right away once the bleeding stops. I had a natural miscarriage, which takes longer I guess. I was too afraid to get the d&c and the doctor didn't think I'd need it.

This was my first pregnancy as well...I think maybe for everyone here actually. My husband and I are so ready to be parents. It's hard seeing everyone around us pregnant /having newborns. :/

 

[kels34]

I was the same, nobody I know has been through this so its hard so speak to anyone about it properly other than my husband.

All we did for a week after we found out was hibernate at home watching movies, eating junk food and crying - mine was a missed mc and I didn't have any signs or symptoms right up until the d&c.

When we first found out it took me a few days to accept that it was actually happening because my hcg levels were high and I still felt pregnant. I spent hours online looking for scenarios that would mean the hospital had made a mistake but on the day of the d&c the surgeon went through my scan with so I knew that there was no chance the pregnancy had progressed

Im so glad to hear you are doing better, its such a horrible experience to go through that its really just one day at a time I think xxx

 

[tcinks]

Tough moment this morning :

I saw a girl (12 years old) at church who hadn't come in a while. She came up to me, looked at my flat belly and said "hey, I thought you had a baby!"

sweet thing. She didn't know. I was about torn in two. I thought I was having a baby, too...

 

[KTJ006]

I love reading everyone's story! Not because you went through what you did, but just knowing that there are other people out there like me. Sometimes I feel like there is a "stigma" in society to not talk about these types of things. But I think we should really be doing the opposite and talking about them and acknowledging that we had a life inside of us! I can't believe how many people I tell and then I hear their story about how it happened to them too. It's like a secret club.

If I can give you ladies any hope - just stay positive! We have 2 LOs - age 4 and age 2. It was HARD to carry both of them to full term. Terrifying. Like I said, I have had no problems getting pregnant; just STAYING pregnant. My DH and I have been through miscarriage too many times and it doesn't get any easier. Just know that there is hope! The fact that each of you has been pregnant is such an important thing to remember...you ARE able to conceive! There are so many people out there who have such a hard time seeing that positive mark on a pregnancy test. Just remember that you are one of the lucky ones who can get to that point.

 

[KTJ006]

I was the same, nobody I know has been through this so its hard so speak to anyone about it properly other than my husband.

All we did for a week after we found out was hibernate at home watching movies, eating junk food and crying - mine was a missed mc and I didn't have any signs or symptoms right up until the d&c.

When we first found out it took me a few days to accept that it was actually happening because my hcg levels were high and I still felt pregnant. I spent hours online looking for scenarios that would mean the hospital had made a mistake but on the day of the d&c the surgeon went through my scan with so I knew that there was no chance the pregnancy had progressed

Im so glad to hear you are doing better, its such a horrible experience to go through that its really just one day at a time I think xxx

Welcome, Kels! Sorry you went through all that, but glad you have a supportive DH around to help you!

Sounds like you guys must travel a bunch with a lot of family in all sorts of neat places

 

[kels34]

If I can give you ladies any hope - just stay positive! We have 2 LOs - age 4 and age 2. It was HARD to carry both of them to full term. Terrifying. Like I said, I have had no problems getting pregnant; just STAYING pregnant. My DH and I have been through miscarriage too many times and it doesn't get any easier. Just know that there is hope! The fact that each of you has been pregnant is such an important thing to remember...you ARE able to conceive! There are so many people out there who have such a hard time seeing that positive mark on a pregnancy test. Just remember that you are one of the lucky ones who can get to that point.

Great message KTJ - DH and I will always be terrified that it could happen again but we can't let that stop us from trying (and trying and trying if needs be). If anything it has made us more appreciative that we are able to get pregnant and not to take it for granted - it only took us one cycle the first time so fingers crossed again!

My husband and I definitely get around lol, NZ is a bit more tricky because its so far away but we try to get back for a holiday every other year xxx

 

[KTJ006]

I don't remember the statistic, but the chances of a miscarriage happening again is very low. I was always told that the first one is usually just bad luck - the DNA not matching up as it should. Doesn't make it any easier, but it gave me hope that the next time around would be a sticky bean. Annnnd (I have no proof of this) I heard that your more fertile after a miscarriage. Something about your lining being healthy with not as much "build up" for an egg to work its way through. We fell pregnant with our 2nd directly after a natural miscarriage and he's a healthy little man! Hoping the same happens this time around.

 

[coucou11]

Good morning all! How is everyone today?

Kels - so sorry for your loss, glad you found this little group.

I hope everyone had a nice weekend - mine was busy, we have friends visiting for the holiday and they arrived yesterday.

AFM, I'm feeling ok. Physically, I feel fine. I hardly spotted at all this weekend, and now just a little bit (but I read it's normal for it to go up and down). No cramping - I even went jogging yesterday. I started temping and charting again today, and I'm back at work. But I'm feeling off... just a little down I guess. It's like, I went through this whole thing of getting pregnant and all the excitement and emotions and eventual pain and suffering and now I'm back to... what? Starting over? I can't call this normal. In any event, it's making me sad. Feels like a long road ahead.

So, sorry for the Monday blues! Hope you are all feeling good.

 

[kdmalk]

I had the laziest weekend ever and I missed so much! I bullied dh into buying us a WiiU... so I have been playing Mario kart all weekend. Lol. Just wanted to let you guys know I am still alive. I'll respond to everything later tonight after crossfit!

Welcome to our group, kels.

 

[tcinks]

Kylee - I was wondering where you were. Haha. My husband and his friend got together to pay that on Saturday. I'm not much of a video gamer, but I like board and card games. That's what I did over the weekend!

Leigh, sorry you've got the Monday blues. The days will get better, just have to focus on little victories.

I found out that Friday my hcg was down to 10! She wants it down to 2. I think I'll go back tomorrow, hopefully it'll be all gone!! So excited!!. TTC again is within my reach!

 

[kels34]

Thanks for the lovely warm welcome ladies - just whats needed on a miserable, cold Monday in London xx

 

[KTJ006]

I have been on a chocolate tear....I've had kit kats, lindt chocolate, nutella and a chocolate lolli pop. Now I need to go run a few miles. Why does the bad stuff have to taste so good?!

I have my last day of work tomorrow, and then I'm taking a break for a few months until after the holidays. I'm excited! Our house is a mess and I'm ready to start making some home cooked meals again.

Hope everyone's day went well! Hope you're feeling better coucou! One day at a time. And Tcinks!!! That is AWESOME about your HCG! Way to keep your head up!

 

[KTJ006]

Oh...and can I say that technically I'm supposed to O on Wednesday and I'm still showing "LOW" on my fertility monitor? Usually it is a "HIGH" at this point, so I don't know what's up. I have a feeling my cycle is going to be out of whack. Just hope I O before Friday because we are heading out of town then and will not have the chance to "do" anything! Boo....

 

[zaycain]

Hi ladies,

Been MIA. Sorry!

Kels - Welcome. We've got a great group of women here. Mine was a missed as well. I was so miserable for 3 weeks with ms. All the while, the baby stopped growing 3 weeks before I found out. How cruel! I wonder if it would have been easier had I felt a sign, or knew that things weren't going well? Probably not.. probably would have made my worry.

What were your numbers before you miscarried?

Tcinks - OMG.. so so close! Has the bleeding stopped?

Cou - I'm sorry you feel this way. It is definitely a roller coaster. I also think the D&C process isn't 'that big a deal' but it kinda is. Going under, seeing surgeons and green scrubs.. that all has a toll mentally and just adds to the loss. What's worse, you have undo all the plans you had just a week ago. All of a sudden it's just gone. It's pretty cruel.

kd - I am all about the video games. I need to start working out but the cramping still is bothering me. I make hubby play Assassins Creed. I just watch and help. Poor guy. He has so much work to do.. but I'm just so needy these days.


Afm I have my D&C follow up today. 18 days post. I get to find out the genetic testing and all that jazz. I'm still bleeding a little brown and cramping. LOTS of ovulation pain. I don't know if I'm actually ovulating, but my ovaries are being active. Both of them!

I did take a HPT and a OPK test just cause I have a billion of them. I wasn't expecting this but a faint HPT and a dark OPK! (PIC ATTACHED!) Not sure what the OPK means, but I am super stoked about the faint HPT! That means progress! Friday it was as dark as the control line. Woot!

Anyone have any thoughts of what the OPK means? Do you think I am actually ovulating? I'm still confused on what that means while you still have HCG in your system. I won't be trying this month, but it's definitely exciting to see.

 

[kels34]

Hey Zay - so sorry for your loss, I am 25 days post d&c and have only just stopped with the brown spotting. I took my first hpt last week and there was still a very faint line but hopefully that will be completely gone in the next few days

I think for me having a mmc came as a shock and was hard to accept because I didn't have any signs that something was wrong (o bleeding or cramping etc). I still felt so pregnant and my levels were really high (132,000) on the day of my 10 week scan when we found out that bump stopped growing at 6+4.

Part of me is thankful that I didn't have to go through the heartbreak of passing the mc tissue naturally but at the same time it look me a few days to accept what the Dr had told me - I was constantly looking online for scenarios that would prove them wrong!

Hubby and I definitely want to try again as soon as possible so fingers crossed xxx