{CLOSED GROUP} Journey to BFP and Beyond!

[zaycain]

kd! Awesome news! I'm going to test again on Saturday. Hopefully it's lighter. I am hoping I get my period by mid-december.

Fleur - I'm so sorry for your loss. We all know how it feels and you are not alone here. Who knew it would be this hard!

NDH - Welcome to our group. I think that's very sweet gesture. My body kept thinking it was pregnant so I was really upset when I found out I had a miscarriage. I needed a D&C right away. It would have taken too long for me to pass naturally. It's good your body didn't wait. Waiting would have been the hardest part.

Cou - I think we ended up doing a full genetic test. Just in case we have problems in the future, we'll be set with that data.


tcinks - low reoccurrence. Let's hope I'm not an exception! You're brave to give your angel a name. I love Ronen. Sounds like a strong Japanese name. (I'm half ) I think mine would have made it too real. We all know our strengths and weaknesses I guess.

He said I can start trying after my period.. Hopefully mid-december!

I have yet to dtd. I'm just not physically ready down there with cramping and stuff. How about you ladies? Does it get better?

 

[jlw617]

Hi ladies,
I was invited to this thread by tcinks, Im actively miscarrying right now, I found out at my 8 wk US that baby stopped developing at 6 weeks and they couldnt find a heartbeat, at my 9 week US baby still had not grown but there was a very slow heartbeat which actually made things harder for me knowing the baby wouldnt make it and now here I am. I have 2 beautiful daughters, my oldest is almost 8 and is my rainbow baby, my youngest is almost 5, we deeply want another baby, I am 32 and we live in Maryland, though Im from all over the place (grew up in the military) and my DH served for 8 years as well.

 

[jlw617]

oh I forgot, we are going to start ttc as soon as Im sure Ive completely miscarried.

 

[NDH]

Terrissa that's tally lovely. I don't think they do footprints and photos etc here for miscarriages, just stillbirths post 20 weeks (I havent really heard of anyone here who miscarried between 12 and 20 weeks though to talk about it. I do know of one person though who lost her baby at 19 weeks and the hospital wouldn't release the body because they don't issue death certificates before 20 weeks. I was appalled and disgusted at the hospital when I heard that and it was definitely a reason I wanted to miscarry at home

But I'm pretty low medical intervention anyway. Hadn't seen or planned to see anyone about the pregnancy til at least 20 weeks and had hired a midwife from 3 hours away for the actual birth , at home, because there aren't any closer midwives. There are some truly amazing Midwives at the local hospital but also some horrible ones and I can't deal with the stress of not knowing which type I'd get and fighting hospital policy at every turn.

Zaurus I'm sorry youre still cramping and such. did your Dr advise how long is considered normal after a d&c?

Jlk welcome. What a terrible position to be in knowing your baby will probably stop growing at any time. I think having that teeny bit of hope that the drs are wrong would make it so much harder to process

 

[coucou11]

Hi jlw - so sorry for your loss, and for what you are experiencing now. It's so hard being in the middle of it and trying to look forward but not being able to physically move on.

Zaycain that was smart to do the full testing, I sort of wish I had but my doc said it was quite expensive (probably differs depending on your location).

I am back to just brown spotting today. I am crossing my fingers that my body will bounce back quickly...

 

[tcinks]

Natalie - that's why I'm so grateful for the care I've been receiving. I have heard so many horror stories from different women about doctors and hospitals they've been to. I have just had the BEST experiences though. Of course I wish it was under different circumstances, but in the midst of everything that happened and me not knowing what to do, the nurses were there making sure I had everything I needed and more. I'm looking forward to working with them again under happier circumstances.


Well for the first half of the day today, I had no bleeding. Nothing. Not a drop. I convinced myself that maybe it was finally done, exactly 6 weeks later. I was so relieved, thinking over when we should start DTD in case I ovulate soon, thinking about being pregnant again. But then it got me. Not a lot, but more than just spotting. And some light cramping. Ugh. I don't like all this up and down, back and forth. I'm rest for the bleeding to just be done! I don't know why it's taking so long. :/ Could this actually be AF? Nothing is normal anymore, I don't know what to expect. I won't be able to see my doctor until AT LEAST next week, I'm sure she'll just tell me again that it's normal. And perhaps it is, but that doesn't make it better.

Well, that's enough of my venting. The day has mostly been good. My DH is of work so we went out to run some errands together. We also talked about anniversary plans and figured out what we'll do for that, which was nice. We got our Christmas tree up last night, but we still need to decorate it. I'm so excited for Christmas! I know it'll be tough, though. But I'm trying to focus on the positive. And maybe I, and the rest of you, will have a BFP by then!

What are you US ladies doing for thanksgiving? Anything special? We are going to my MIL, there should be quite a crowd, and quite a bit of good food. : icecream: Then to grandma's on Friday for more! Looking forward to family time, food and games! (Especially the games...I get pretty competitive) .

I hope you all have a nice thanksgiving!

 

[KTJ006]

Welcome JLW!! Sorry you're going through this and I hope you heal quickly. The ladies here are just great.

Tcinks- wow. You have received stellar care considering the circumstances. We got a little box before my surgery that had an ornament, a charm (separate from the one I have), and a poem. It was such a nice gesture. I didn't even open the box until a week later because I just couldn't handle it. I hope you figure the bleeding stuff out. I'd keep track of it, then ask your doc when you go in. Is the bleeding any different than what you were previously experiencing?

Zaycain- DTD when you're ready I started to feel 'normal' when my AF hit. I had all sorts of strange symptoms until then. And even now I'm finding my cycles are out of whack, so it's one surprise after another.

Happy Thanksgiving to all the US ladies!! We are heading to my parents tomorrow, then to Tennessee Friday-Sunday to see my in laws (Lord, help me!!!).

 

[NDH]

I went through the bag I was given at the hospital today. I'd had a quick look when I got it, but today opened up everything. Aside from the teddy bear (the organisation is called bears of hope) I got candles, a journal and pen, a CD with a song written and sung by local people which made me bawl. I might share the lyrics later if o can type them out. And a picture frame with a poem in it that also made me cry.

I'm glad because I hadn't felt like crying at all the previous two days and I had told my husband I east concerned I was handling it *too* well. I know my faith has given me a sense of peace which has helped keep me from being completely devastated but that doesn't mean I shouldn't still cry...

 

[NDH]

aalso happy thanksgiving all you US ladies. I miss thanksgiving but I'm originally from Canada so this isn't when we celebrated it. I miss the food but more importantly the extended family who would all gather around the table. its just not the same as US four, my parents and brother and SIL.

 

[KTJ006]

NDH - what a nice gift the hospital gave you. Makes me happy there are hospitals that do these types of things to help us remember what we had.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING to everyone! Even if you aren't celebrating it today, I hope you all have many blessings to celebrate. I am thankful each of you let me come to this forum to vent, talk, complain, and celebrate the little successes

 

[coucou11]

Happy Thanksgiving to all! In the US or not, it's nice to be thankful today for everyone here and all the blessing in our lives.

I was at the store this morning and in front of my in line was this super pregnant lady, and at first I got all sad / annoyed. Then as I got into my car I though, you know what, if I don't have a baby this time next year, then hopefully that will be ME super pregnant in line at the store on Thanksgiving. Wishing that for all of us!!!

 

[tcinks]

Thanks Leigh! I hope you are having a wonderful day with your family!

Oh and Leslie those things sound so lovely, I'm glad you looked at them and had your moment to cry. It's good to hold it together, but sometimes I feel like we just need to let ourselves cry and grieve.

I'm thankful for all of you ladies and all the support and encouragement you've given me these past few weeks. I truly hope we can continue to get to know and help each other along our journeys , until we ALL have our healthy rainbow babies in our arms!

 

[zaycain]

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thankful for you ladies. About to go for a run to offset the food I will be eating later.

jlw - Welcome. So sorry for your loss. It really sucks. We are here for you.

tcinks - I really hope that is your AF. That could be a great sign. Just a reset and your body is going to start up again. How is it today?

NDH - That sounds so nice. Sounds like an outside non-profit sent something like that. I would love to be a part of something like that.

We didn't get anything. In fact, while the woman was rolling me out of the surgery room into recovery the woman asked if I had any kids. She didn't mean anything malicious, in fact she was complimenting on my mixed race and my husband's ethnicity and thought it was cool.

As for today...Today would have been the day we would have told everyone. So it will be difficult. I have a gut feeling that someone is going to say they are pregnant today. (One of DH's sisters) I hope it's just me being paranoid and not actually happening. We didn't tell any of them so they wouldn't know.

On another note, my ovaries have been really giving me sharp pain that feels like ovulation (I have mittleschmertz). I took another HPT and OPK test and the HPT was even lighter today (Woot) and the OPK was still very very dark. It usually doesn't stay dark for days does it?

Spotting is much lighter.. but still present.

Either way I am hoping I have my AF in two weeks so we can get crackin!

Happy Thanksgiving ladies!

 

[NDH]

Zay I hope you make it through today without any announcements

I'm also sorry your hospital doesn't do anything - it makes me appreciate what i got all the more. The organisation I got my bag from is run by donations from other angel parents. My bear has a tag in memory of another baby.

 

[NDH]

I had my scan this morning as followup and got confirmation nothing was retained. There's still a bit of fluid but she said it will all come out on its own so nothing to worry about. It was the same sonographer as last week so she went over my last scan in more detail whn things weren't so raw, and even if there was a possibility of my dates having been out it just didn't look like a viable pregnancy. Of course, it had been 3-4 weeks since the baby had stopped growing, so things may have looked different at 6 weeks. But it was still good for me to have that closure and confirmation that it just was one of those things where the baby doesn't develop right an nothing could have changed the outcome.

 

[Fleur828815]

Hi everyone, this thread is moving so fast, hard to keep up! Just checking in with you, will catch up and reply later

 

[KTJ006]

I had my scan this morning as followup and got confirmation nothing was retained. There's still a bit of fluid but she said it will all come out on its own so nothing to worry about. It was the same sonographer as last week so she went over my last scan in more detail whn things weren't so raw, and even if there was a possibility of my dates having been out it just didn't look like a viable pregnancy. Of course, it had been 3-4 weeks since the baby had stopped growing, so things may have looked different at 6 weeks. But it was still good for me to have that closure and confirmation that it just was one of those things where the baby doesn't develop right an nothing could have changed the outcome.

NDH glad you got some closure and were able to get more information. I completely agree: I can never think of things to say/ask in the moment while you're absorbing everything, but always do after the fact. Glad you had that time again to ask questions. Sorry you had to revisit things again though.

AFM- I finally peaked a "high" on the fertility monitor. I should get an official peak in a day or two. Issue is we aren't home now, but visiting family! Oy. Guess we'll see what happens...

 

[KTJ006]

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thankful for you ladies. About to go for a run to offset the food I will be eating later.

jlw - Welcome. So sorry for your loss. It really sucks. We are here for you.

tcinks - I really hope that is your AF. That could be a great sign. Just a reset and your body is going to start up again. How is it today?

NDH - That sounds so nice. Sounds like an outside non-profit sent something like that. I would love to be a part of something like that.

We didn't get anything. In fact, while the woman was rolling me out of the surgery room into recovery the woman asked if I had any kids. She didn't mean anything malicious, in fact she was complimenting on my mixed race and my husband's ethnicity and thought it was cool.

As for today...Today would have been the day we would have told everyone. So it will be difficult. I have a gut feeling that someone is going to say they are pregnant today. (One of DH's sisters) I hope it's just me being paranoid and not actually happening. We didn't tell any of them so they wouldn't know.

On another note, my ovaries have been really giving me sharp pain that feels like ovulation (I have mittleschmertz). I took another HPT and OPK test and the HPT was even lighter today (Woot) and the OPK was still very very dark. It usually doesn't stay dark for days does it?

Spotting is much lighter.. but still present.

Either way I am hoping I have my AF in two weeks so we can get crackin!

Happy Thanksgiving ladies!

Zay: hope you're ovulating and hoe you didn't get any surprise announcements yesterday!

 

[kdmalk]

I said I wouldn't go AWOL again, but I totally did! lol. I hope all the US ladies had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I'm not even going to entertain the idea of trying to respond to everything I have missed over the past few days, as you ladies have been chatting up a storm!!! But I did read everything!

We actually managed to get dh's mom and twin brother over to my aunt's house and celebrated thanksgiving with both families. It was... interesting, but everyone had a nice time. (WARNING: SKIP THE REST OF THIS PARAGRAPH IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ME COMPLAIN! Seriously, skip it.) We live more than 3 hours away from everyone, so it is rare for us to find time for a visit with me working M-F and hubby managing a restaurant and having to always work weekends. On top of that, we have 3 fur babies (two of them over 50 pounds), so it is such a hassle to get their crates folded up and tied down in the back of the truck, and get their beds and food and bowls and toys loaded, and then we have to pack stuff for the humans... then we have to get them to sit still in the car for over three hours! Since we moved, we really don't visit much more than at the holidays and 1-2 times throughout the year for various occasions. (BEGIN EPIC PART OF RANT) That really bothers DH's mom, but honestly, there isn't really much we can do about it with our schedules. That has always frustrated me because clearly we would visit more if we could. We don't just enjoy being separated from everyone. She honestly just misses us, but it makes me mad that she makes us out as being... like selfish... for not coming to visit more often. I do love her, but I have always felt that it was very unfair for her to make us feel guilty about not taking our rare time off to head straight up to spend time with dh's side of the family. We always spend more time with my parents when we come up because they have a house and a yard, making it comfortable for both us and our dogs to spend a few days, while she has always lived in a one bedroom apartment or in a house with roommates. That would leave us and our three dogs to sleep... in the living room on a blow up mattress??? So what are we supposed to do?! This is why we don't MAKE time to visit... it just turns into a problem when we do come up there, because she always gets upset and says she feels like she gets "the short end of the stick". I'll tell you who gets the short end of the stick... WE DO! Because every time we visit she has to get all emotional and make us feel like crap about our visiting habits and not seeing our nieces grow up and AHHHH!!!!! We would probably make more of an effort (not that it would make much difference with our schedules) if it wasn't just DRAMA whenever we do come up! Okay. Rant over. Sorry. Nobody has to respond to that. It just needed to come out. lol.

In other news, I am pretty sure I O'd in the past few days. I'm not temping, so I can't be sure... but I have had ewcm for a few days and some cramping yesterday, so I think I did. Not 100% sure if I am just going to O at a random time and then AF will arrive around the 4th because the cycle is wonky, or if since I DID O, AF will arrive 2 weeks after O like a normal cycle. If so, that would put it right at a week later than my imaginary/super optimistic expected AF date... which I would say isn't too bad. We will see. Come on, September baby!

I am back at work today and the office is EMMMMPPPTTTYYYYY. I took all of my vacation (and then some) with the d&c and visiting my brother and all that... so I only had thanksgiving off. I am going to try to be productive today to make the day go faster.

Welcome to the new ladies. This is such a great group!

Hope everyone is feeling well today. Ugh, I wish we were all closer together and we could make a road trip of actually meeting in person and talking (as long as nobody is, like, an ax murderer). What a wild experience THAT would be (not the ax murdering, but meeting)! But seriously, it is such a relief to have other people in my EXACT same position to talk to. I am so happy to have you ladies!

 

[hanrh]

I second kylees intro. I have been busy with work so haven't checked in for a few days but seriously, you ladies have been doing some serious chatting!!! I need to check in more often to keep up with it all.

I would love to reply to everyone individually but I think that would take me all night so I'll just say I hope everyone is doing as well as they can be at this time. It's definately great to have so much support from like minded people at the time. I think I would have driven myself crazy by now if not for you lot!!

My best news of the week is that I finally got a negative hpt and my spotting has stopped! I actually cried when I got the negative hpt - I think partly because of the relief and partly because it means that pregnancy is officially out of my body.

Happy thanks giving for yesterday all you US ladies. Hope you ate lots!!!