{CLOSED GROUP} Journey to BFP and Beyond!

[tcinks]

Hey zaycain, glad your test is getting light! You'll be there soon. Let us know what you find out at the appointment!

I went today for another (and hopefully final) blood draw. Really hoping it's 2 or less. My doctor wasn't in, but I talked to the sweet nurse and she said she'd find out definitively from her when it's okay start trying again. (my husband needs explicit instructions,)

And I'm not sure but I think I may have started my period? My bleeding never fully stopped from the miscarriage, but today it's bright red and heavier again. More like af than what I was experiencing...but I don't know

 

[coucou11]

Hi Zay! Great looking tests! I know that remaining hcg in your system can cause the opk to be positive but I think you are far enough out and also your hcg is light enough that you can call that a surge! Are you temping? Would be such a relief to O this cycle and know you are getting back on track!!

Kylee I hope you had fun at Crossfit!

Terrissa that would be great if your period was starting! Did you ask the doc if that could be it? I think they are as in the dark as us about all this, tbh. Half that time when I ask my doc stuff about this she is like, sure, ok... Ha! Anyway, please update us on your latest test, fingers crossed for you!

Kels I am with you on the mmc - just the worst thinking that everything is fine and then getting told it is not. Also all last week I felt very betrayed by my body - like how could it do this to me, not realize what was happening. I am feeling better about it now, but that was hard.

KTJ I hope your cycle isn't too out of whack! I don't know how those things works but maybe your O will be slightly delayed. Were you planning on trying this cycle?

I am feeling better today. My nurse called me last night and said I had to come in straight away for a Rhogam shot, which apparently they forgot after my D&C. Sigh. I've been resisting testing thus far this week, which is good. Still very little cramping but bleeding actually increased yesterday quite a bit, I've read it's normal though. Otherwise just taking it one day at a time!

 

[hanrh]

Hi ladies
Sorry I've been away for a couple of day. I started back at work yesterday which was such a shock to the system!

Zaycain - your tests look similar to mine. I have been temping and my temp is still low tho. So not sure about whether o might happen. Wouldn't that be grEat though!

Coucou - glad you are starting to feel a little better. The bleeding definately does get worse and better constantly. Hoping it stops soon for you tho!

Tcinks - hoping that it is you af! I think I read someone else on here saying that she never stopped bleeding properly and then Af arrived, confirmed by her doctor.

 

[tcinks]

Sister just called me talking about her pregnancy. She's at the point I was when I miscarried. :/ Somehow she found out the sex already (she said something about a new blood test?) Anyway she's announcing on thanksgiving with pink or blue cupcakes. And she just kept talking about her appointments and how glad she is she's having a healthy baby, etc. Which is great and I'm happy for her. But it was a lot harder talking to her than I thought. this is her second . And I have none. I'm just having a little pity party for myself...I just want to be pregnant again. I want that joy and excitement back, I want something to look forward to. And I want my healthy baby in my arms.

One day. https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/images/smilies/eusa_pray.gif

 

[kels34]

Coucou - I felt the same for a few weeks, I couldn't understand how I didn't know something wasn't right. Reading forums like this has really helped - its comforting to know that its more common than I ever thought.

Han - Do you know if the NHS offer hcg blood tests or extra scans if you have had a miscarriage previously? When we found out about our mmc was though a private scan and the Dr at A&E said they don't normally do the blood tests on the NHS unless its special circumstances (and strangely enough she also said that having 1 miscarriage is now considered normal?!).

tcinks - that is hard I was in a shop last weekend and a pregnant woman was with her friend getting excited about the baby coming. I almost burst in to tears and she was a stranger so I can't imagine how tough that must be xxx

 

[zaycain]

Hi ladies,

So it looks like I had Trisomy 16. We were too generous with the chromosomes and our little angel didn't make it. It is a little bit of a relief.. but nothing that's earth moving.

kels - Yes.. it's very difficult and your numbers were super high! I thought mine were high at 78k before I found out I was miscarrying. I was almost 10 weeks when I found out the baby stopped growing at 6w +3.

T - That sucks. You want to be happy for her, but a pity party must be thrown. It's ok. I had one last week.

Han & Cou - I never temped.. so I wouldn't even know where to start. I'm going to hold off on that process. I'm already a little crazy with these tests.

 

[kels34]

Hi ladies,

So it looks like I had Trisomy 16. We were too generous with the chromosomes and our little angel didn't make it. It is a little bit of a relief.. but nothing that's earth moving.

kels - Yes.. it's very difficult and your numbers were super high! I thought mine were high at 78k before I found out I was miscarrying. I was almost 10 weeks when I found out the baby stopped growing at 6w +3.

Zay - was this your first miscarriage? In the UK they only run tests if you have had 3 in a row (which seems crazy to me) but I wish they did them on the first, I think it would be more reassuring for the next time if I knew there was nothing seriously wrong that could keep causing it to happen.

Your timings are really similar to mine - we found out at 10 weeks as well that the baby had only grown to 6+4 xx

 

[zaycain]

[
Zay - was this your first miscarriage? In the UK they only run tests if you have had 3 in a row (which seems crazy to me) but I wish they did them on the first, I think it would be more reassuring for the next time if I knew there was nothing seriously wrong that could keep causing it to happen.

Your timings are really similar to mine - we found out at 10 weeks as well that the baby had only grown to 6+4 xx

This was my first miscarriage. I am 18 days post d&c.. so yes we are similar. The timing is very common though. It seems that most stop growing around 6 weeks. I'm going to be a wreck the next pregnancy!

My doc offered it. I'm sure the docs here don't mind conducting the test as long as I pay for it. I'll let you know what the bill looks like. Eek.

 

[kdmalk]

Y'all are so chatty the last few days! I can hardly keep up! lol

Zay- Really hope it is actually O. That would be so wonderful to know things are getting back to normal. I'm super jelly. I finally stopped testing on friday. I am going to give up and get a good hold and pee on some more stuff in a couple hours. I already have a few hours hold right now, so why not?!

Terrissa- That must be so hard with your sister. One pregnant friend is blowing up pinterest with labor and delivery stuff (she's due in May) and another friend just announced on fb that they are having a boy. Rough time for all of us... ugh. Hope that is AF that arrived!

Kels- are you guys going to try again immediately, or wait for AF? I feel like maybe you already answered that, but I can't remember!

Leigh- I had to get a Rhogam shot too. That sucker formed a lump in my arm that hurt for like 3 days. As far as crossfit... I may or may not have skipped yesterday due to forgetting my shoes at home (ugh! )
and then skipped today because the workout involves running. I hate running. lol. I have serious plans to go tomorrow. I left my packed gym bag in my office, so it is all ready to go. Someone needs to yell at me about 20 hours from now to force me to go. I had such a good thing going last week. lol. I am going to blame our coach for programming running. Skipping couldn't possibly be MY fault, right? lol

I am sure I missed something else. I'll try not to disappear for days on end again. (oh! afm, I am feeling fine. CM seems to be returning in some capacity, although I have said that before and it disappeared, so who knows. Have felt some weird twinges today... not exactly like O cramps, but similar. Guess everything is just trying to get back to normal. COME ON AF! LOOKING FORWARD TO DEC. 4!!) still pretending af will arrive "on time." lol

 

[kdmalk]

Ladies, it is with pride that I present to you (FINALLY) my COMPLETELY NEGATIVE not-even-a-squinter, white-as-a-cloud dollar store pregnancy test.

Alright, AF, I am counting on you!!!!

 

[tcinks]

Yay yay yay Kylee! I know how good that feels to finally get that negative. I'm sure AF will be here in no time!

Zaycain, I don't know much about that. What did they say the chances were of it happening again? Did they say you could start trying soon?

 

[NDH]

Hi ladies mind if I join?
I recognise several other former June bugs

I've read every post here but forgive me for not responding to them all

How is everyone doing? Have any of you done anything to remember you angels by? On the weekend my husband and I went and bought some pink Marguerite daisies (they have "angelic" in the Botannical name which I thought was very fitting, and traditionally daisies stand for purity and innocence and hope) and planted them in a pot (we also buried the baby in the pot as it was a natural MC and we didn't feel right about just disposing of it) and that's helped me process my grief immensely. I can talk/think about it without crying and yesterday an acquaintance who didn't know about the MC congratulated me and I didn't cry.

I had bleeding/spotting for about 2 and a half weeks, but it was acting much like the bleeding I had with my second daughter due to a SCH -lighter even - so I really wasn't concerned about it snce there was no cramping or anything. Then it went away for three days and wednesday evening as I was taking the girls to bed I started cramping (mild period cramps) and knew I was bleeding again, more like a light period. In the morning I went to Emergency and had a scan on the portable ultrasound and the Dr couldn't see anything so I was preparing myself for bad news but hoping it was just due to a poor quality machine and an inexperienced Dr (she spent 5 mins digging for my veins! ouch!) but they gave me a referral to a better ultrasound place for that afternoon where it was confirmed my baby had stopped growing around 6 weeks. I was 10+3.

I managed to avoid a D&C which I'm glad of, though I know others prefer one, as it passed that evening. I think my body just needed to know it was ok...

Had a bloodtest on Monday and HcG is 845 but I don't know what it was on Thursday morning and they've ordered weekly tests until it gets below 5. They called today and said the dr reviewed my file (i've just been seeing the midwives at the early pregnancy clinic) and he wants me to have a scan on Friday. I'm guessing just to make sure it was complete, but I have no doubt that it was.

Only had light bleeding for 3-4 days after it had been more than 48 hours we were intimate again. I missed the intimacy so so bad. We hadn't had sex in more than a month and TMI but it was the best we've ever had

Now that you all know the intimate details of my sex life I may as ell tell you my name is Natalie, I'm 30 in 1 month an 1 day and I live in Australia.

 

[tcinks]

Hi Natalie, I'm sorry for your loss. But glad to see you are handling it well. And glad you're here with us.

As far as doing something to remember my little Ronen, I didn't plant anything like some people do But we got to take him home and bury him, which was nice. I was 13 weeks along and held him in my hands, I didn't feel right just leaving him at the hospital. We have a memorial table set up for him in our living room, too.

It's been a difficult six weeks. I didn't expect recovery to take so long, and even naively thought I might be pregnant again by now. But no, still bleeding. We are so ready for a baby, the waiting is really hard.

Do you plan to try again soon?

 

[NDH]

We don't have any plans to wait. My eldest took 27 months to conceive after a loss (first pregnancy was a surprise - not that we'd been preventing - and I don't know how far I was. I had suspected pregnancy for a few days to a week but didn't even take a test until later on the morning I miscarried) and combined with the stress of ttc for so long and the fact it did take so long we no longer *try* but certainly don't try not to either. I will use opks until I can verify if my cycles ate regular again, but not to have obsessive babymaking sex lol.
I do hope I conceive again quickly though. I'm not expecting to though with my history.

A memory table is a nice idea and I like that you cam refer to him by a name. Hubby asked if we should name ours, but I didn't think we were far enough along and couldn't think of any gender neutral names I felt were suitable since we didn't know the gender. I do call him bug though. Is Ronan a name you chose after he passed or had you already planned to use it? Another reason we didn't name ours is that I feel it was a not and we planned to name our first boy after my dad and dhs best friend and its the only name we've agreed on in three pregnancies so if we used it we'd be hooped if I ever have a boy that lives...

 

[Fleur828815]

Hi everyone, can I join?

I'm sorry to hear about your losses, life can be so cruel Hoping for healthy rainbow babies for all of us soon.

Some background info on me :
BFP on 13 September (4.5 weeks), first ultrasound the next day (I know, I couldn't wait!) and it showed a thickened endometrium lining
Second ultrasound on 27 September (6.5 weeks) : gestational sac and yolk sac, no fetal pole
Third ultrasound on 4 October (7.5 weeks) : embryo with a heartbeat seen but OB/gyn pushed my dates back by 9 days
I was very sure of my dates, and coupled with my symptoms disappearing, I couldn't stop worrying.
Last ultrasound on 18 October (9.5 weeks by my dates, 8 weeks by doctor's dates) : the fetus had stopped growing about a week earlier
Had a D&C on 20 October, and recovered quite quickly (physically, emotionally it's been hard).
3 weeks after the D&C I still had a faint BFP on a pregnancy test but AF showed up 2 weeks after that (last weekend).

I haven't decided yet whether I'm going to try again this cycle or wait another month, so scared of doing things "wrong".

tcinks, it's nice to have a new thread on this forum, I feel out of place on the other threads because everyone seems to know one another so well, or are already pregnant.

 

[NDH]

Hi Fleur. So sorry to hear of your loss

 

[KTJ006]

Hello to the new ladies! This is a great forum! Sorry for each of your losses. It's hard. One day at a time is my motto I love the idea of planting a flower or having a small memorial site. I have a charm for each of my miscarriages that I wear and never take off.

Still no O for me today. I'm not sure what's going on

It's rainy here today. Are any of you in the US getting snow?!

 

[tcinks]

NDH, we already had a list of names we liked , but we didn't have that one specifically chosen until after he passed. It just feels better to call him by a name. I'll upload a picture of my memorial if you ladies would like to see. The hospital was so kind, the nurse/bereavement staff gave us a lot of keepsakes for him. I didn't plan to deliver there (I wanted a natural birth with a midwife) but if/when I get pregnant again, that's definitely where I'll go.

Fleur, glad you joined us. I'd seen your posts around. Sorry for your loss But glad you recovered quickly. What do you mean you're scared of doing things wrong?

KTJ, no snow here in Kansas, looks like it rained overnight though.

 

[tcinks]

For my sweet little Ronen Immanuel

(Not sure why I put a spoiler on it, some might not want to see.)

Spoiler

https://i1369.photobucket.com/albums/ag220/terrissaf/Mobile%20Uploads/IMAG01824_zps139092a5.jpg
Everything besides the jar of unity sand from our wedding and the flowers from a family at church was given to us by the hospital. It was so kind of them and made our Ronen seem more real and special. Name bracelet, drawing, blankets, little hat, footprints, little memory box. All things we can keep to remember him by and tell our future children about him. We put it up the next day when we got home from the hospital. For the first few weeks, it was hard to see, couldn't look at it without crying. It was a painful reminder. But now I can look at it with a little more joy. I only had him for a short time, but he is still loved.

 

[coucou11]

Hi all -

Natalie and Fleur I'm so so sorry for your losses. Natalie, I remember you from June Bugs. I'm so sorry you are both going through this, but glad you have come to join us here, there is a lot of great support.

Kylee what wonderful news on the negative test!!! So excited for you! Must be such a relief.

Terrissa how difficult that must be with your sister, oh man. I cannot even imagine. Give yourself a big hug. I know that we will all be pregnant again soon and feeling like her, and then this pain will be a distant bad memory. What a beautiful memorial you made for Ronen!

Zay did they do specific chromosomal testing on your tissue? I'm just wondering if Trisomy is part of a standard test or if they did a full chromosome screen. I'm sure you've been googling like mad since then but my quick look says recurrence of any chromosomal abnormality (trisomy 16 included) is 1% or less.

I hope all the other ladies here are feeling ok today! Hanrh how is it going being back at work? It does feel like a shock, just trying to get back into some semblance of normalcy. KTJ I hope O comes soon! The waiting is painful. Kels hope you are holding up ok today.

AFM nothing much new, bleeding has slowed again. My temps are not really dropping though so I think I probably still have hcg/ progesterone in my system. I'll take an hpt with FMU tomorrow or Friday and see if there's any progress.

No snow here in SoCal Hope no one has east coast travel plans today!