{CLOSED GROUP} Journey to BFP and Beyond!

[tcinks]

Oh Natalie, so sorry you're still having the spotting! How long has it been now? What have you been up to these days?

 

[coucou11]

Zay - any updates? Let us know how everything is going!

Terrissa - yes, I was really happy to have found this group. Such sweet ladies, and sharing the same frustration and helplessness. It was not free, but only $30 which seems reasonable (they meet every other week). I'm hoping that it helps reduce my stress levels about the losses and TTC, which will help me to conceive.

Natalie, big hugs to you on your due date tomorrow. So sorry about the spotting! I hope it stops soon.

Kylee don't worry at all about the Vitex! Totally not urgent at all. Sorry you have been feeling so yucky, but thrilled that you found the babies heartbeat! What a relief and joy that must be. You will be feeling kicks soon enough, that is really the best feeling in the world.

Kate - how are you doing? Hope everything is going well.

Jamie - I think you are still away with family, just letting you know we are thinking of you!

Fleur - hope you are still feeling good

 

[zaycain]

Hi ladies,

Thanks for checking in!

HPTs are progression nicely.. so I don't think it's a chemical. Told DH yesterday.. we are both happy, in disbelief and super cautious. Sad how the previous loss robs you of that joy.

I have a little cramping.. but nothing crazy. We are heading out to visit family for a few weeks so that will be interesting to hide. I'm going to take another test when we land. This happened last time. I found out I was pregnant three days before we left... same exact thing!

Natalie - So frustrating. How many days has this been going on for now?

Cou - The stress of TTC is too much. One of the reasons why I had to take a leave of absence. I was a day away from signing up for a triathlon knowing that this wasn't the month. I had started to train so I felt good. I literally told DH.. "Don't you dare get me pregnant this month! I want to do this tri! ".. and.. there you have it.

Fleur - I told him on video. I told him to repeat after me.. "I'm going to be a daddy" and he was shocked. It was cute.. but of course we said.. 'MAYBE.." Ugh.. sucks the joy right out of you!

 

[NDH]

Mc sucks the joy out of you for sure. I've always loved being pregnant but after this I'm going to be full of too much worry to enjoy any of it and though I do still want more babies I'm dreading being pregnant again.

Anyway Zay I'm thrilled that your lines are progressing well and I do hope this is for rainbow and you're able to push aside the fears and anxieties and get to the point of enjoying the miracle in your womb.

AFM AF started *again* yesterday on my would be due date. So I've been bleeding/spotting for 35 of the last 40 or so days, and had a 15 and a 10 day cycle (or else random cramping with heavier bleeding in the middle of a 25 day cycle hard to be sure ...)

I also outed myself on Facebook yesterday and posted that I'm a mom of 7 though only 2 are here with me, and would have been 40 weeks (and 29+4 and 21 and 11). Every reply made me cry but I'm glad everyone now knows about my babies.

 

[tcinks]

Oh Natalie, how brave of you to put that out there! And glad you got positive responses. I will probably make a post on the anniversary of the loss and everything. So few people know what we've been through and how it has changed us. Especially now that I'm pregnant again I think people expect me to just move one.

 

[kdmalk]

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Guess who managed to get a UTI? This girl. I'm sure most of it is the fact that I have been feeling too sick to drink anything and I'm hardly peeing. I really need to get back to my previous water habits of 8+ glasses a day. I am just so nauseous right now, that I can hardly stomach the thought of drinking anything. No choice now, I guess. Sigh.

Zay, I am happy to hear things are going well. Fingers crossed that this is it! Sorry you have to miss the tri though. I know how much that sucks. I gave up crossfit with all of my pregnancy drama and I miss it so much.

Natalie, I'm sorry you are still bleeding. It must be so frustrating. I love that you have gotten so much support after talking about your pregnancies. We do plan to talk about how difficult our journey has been when we announce on Facebook. I don't want my angel baby to be forgotten, because that was our baby too. I think people should know about that. Points for bravery on putting that out there.

Terrissa, I feel you on people expecting you to move on. Just because I am currently pregnant doesn't mean that my loss wasn't real or didn't hurt. But I do try to see the other side as well (and I think someone has mentioned this previously): once this child is born, I will always know that it was either this child or the other one, and that I could never have had both. My mom had two miscarriages and always says that she wouldn't have me and my brother if it weren't for those losses. So each day I am grateful to be me and to have my mom as my mom. I do have the tendency to be not "negative" per say, but a realist.... which often comes with what can be perceived as negativity. These days I am trying really hard to have a more positive outlook on life, and I think what I just said is a good example of me trying to see the bright side. I hope ANY of what I just said makes sense. I'm just over here typing away.

HAVE A GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE!!!!

 

[tcinks]

Okay how do you know what a uti feels like?! I get different answers from different people. I think i might have one but I just don't know! I was tested a few weeks ago and it was negative but I guess it could have happened since then.

And I totally think the same thing, about not being able to have both babies. It's still hard though.

I hope you feel better soon!

 

[kdmalk]

I got lucky enough to get one years ago, so I can catch the feeling early. Usually you will KNOW you have one if it is burning when you pee/right after or if you are feeling that "I need to pee" feeling after you've already gone. This one I managed to catch early by noticing I was starting to feel like I needed to pee when I didn't. It's like a weird tingling/burning sensation. I don't think I am doing a good job of describing this. Lol.

If you think you have one, it is always better to check and not have one than to ignore it and make it worse if you do have one. You can always start with cranberry juice and lots of water. It could only help.

 

[zaycain]

So... I'm with family.. they are stressing. me. out.

I got a strong BFP on Monday and then Tuesday night it was a tad lighter. I am freaking out a little bit. I took one this morning and it's hard to compare cause it's not completely dry. I really shouldn't have taken another test.. I'm going to stop with them until Friday.. I'm trying to take deep breaths.

Kylee - UTI! I've never had one, but it sounds painful. Not something you need right now..

Natalie - So brave. People don't talk about miscarriages enough. I'm not sure why society (and I for that matter) insist on keeping it so secret. It's so personal but so common.

Leah - Have you had DH tested for anything? Hormones or anything otherwise?

 

[KTJ006]

Hi ladies...long time no talk.

Zay - welcome back!! And congrats on the BFP!!! I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for you. Don't stress yourself out about the HPTs. I would stay away from them! Have you set up an appointment yet?

Kylee - hope the UTI is getting better. What do they do for that during pregnancy? I got them all. the. time while I was in college. I could tell literally that first time I peed that I had one. They just suck. And that stuff that changes your pee colors? Ha. That's some crazy stuff.

Jamie - Hope the family stuff is going well!

Terrissa - congrats on the girl!!!! Girls are so much fun. Definitely more drama (be prepared), but so fun to dress up. Have you guys bought anything yet? Talked about names?

Natalie - how's the spotting? Has your doc given you any indication as to why it's going on so long? I will pray it clears up for you soon.

Leigh - HI! How are you feeling these days? Isn't your testing coming up in July? I feel like it's gone by fast (probably not for you though!)

Fleur - I was thinking about you the other day and how you're almost done with your pregnancy!

AFM - lots have been going on. Fertility wise: had my CA-125 and progesterone levels tested. All turned out normal. Went back to the 2nd doctor today and he cleared me for a laparoscopy. I'm relieved that hopefully I'll find out where the pain is coming from (hopefully) and can get answers. I'm mad at my first doctor who I really feel wasn't taking me seriously. I'm nervous that they still won't find anything that's causing the pain (then I'll really think I'm crazy). So...I'll be getting that scheduled hopefully tomorrow. If I can't get it done in July, then it won't be until September. We have quite a travel schedule in August and my parents are gone, so it will just be easier to push it out until then. Maybe we'll get a BFP at that point, but I'm not hopeful. AF should be showing up in about a week, so we will see!

Hope you ladies are well. I'll be on and off, but definitely not as active as I was. Trying not to focus on this TTC stuff as much

 

[Fleur828815]

Leigh, I’m glad you’ve found a support group. It must be so nice to be able to talk to people who understand exactly what you’re going through. Miscarriage is such a hush-hush topic usually.

Natalie, hugs for your due date. Did you do anything on that day? I hope the spotting has stopped now and that things will go back to normal… as if it wasn’t hard enough already. It might be worth going to see a doctor?

zaycain, don’t test again, it will only stress you! Mine weren’t getting any darker so I just stopped for a week or 10 days. Unfortunately we’ll never have the innocence and faith we had before miscarrying… but I hope that as time goes on you’ll be able to relax and feel more confident. Love that you got your DH’s reaction on video!

Terrissa, I feel exactly the same way about people thinking I must have moved on now that I’m pregnant again. Of course I’m so so grateful to be having this baby, but it’s as if the first baby never existed, even DH didn’t really care about its due date.

Kylee, hope your UTI has cleared up! I like what you said about not being able to have both babies.. Once these babies are born we won’t be able to imagine not having them!

Katie, good to see you! Been wondering how you were doing. I’m glad that this second doctor seems to be taking your concerns seriously, I really hope you’ll be able to find out where the pain is coming from. Don’t let them fob you off, it’s NOT normal to have so much pain every month. Good news about the CA-125 (what’s that??) and progesterone levels, fingers crossed that you’ll get a BFP before September! By the way, I'm not almost done yet, only half way through!

I’ve been really busy at work, going on a work trip (+ vacation, yay!) to Europe next week, so lots of things to wrap up before then.

 

[coucou11]

Hi all!

Zay - Agree with Fleur, no more testing! I know that's hard but better not to think about it if possible. I'm sure everything is fine, and if it's not, there is nothing to be done anyway. But really no need to even have that thought! How is your family?

Kylee- Ugh, a TI! They are the worst. Hope it is clearing up. How are you feeling these days? Hopefully the sickness eases up soon.

Kate, great to see you! I'm glad you have a doctor that is taking you seriously. Fingers crossed you get some answers. Where are you traveling to in August? Sounds fun!

Natalie - you are so brave. Thank you for sharing your story, it makes the world a little more understanding each time we do. Maybe if I ever have another baby, or if we finally decide not to, I will share as well. If I get back on facebook that is haha (too many pregnancy announcements for me). How is your period? So frustrating to have your cycle all out of whack, I know how you feel. It makes me feel like I really don't know my body at all!

Terrissa, hope you are feeling good! Have you started making and plans for the birth yet? Or started the nursery

Fleur how fun, a vacation! Where in Europe are you going? I hope you get nice weather. Have a wonderful time!!

AFM, I got my period last night ... which would give me a 6 day luteal phase this cycle. That's the shortest I have ever had! So bizarre. I'm trying not to freak out - my appt. is July 10, which still seems ages away, but we will obviously have a lot to talk about. I'm so anxious to start trying again, and just really wishing and hoping for some answers.

Hugs to you all!

 

[NDH]

Katie I'm glad your new Dr is doing all these investigations. I hope the lap gets done in July so you don't have to wait longer and I hope of gives you some answers.

Fleur a Europe trip sounds exciting! Where are you going and how long are you gone for?

Leigh a 6 day LP doesn't sound good at all you must be frustrated. I hope it was a one off just do to your cycles regulating again after your latest loss.

Fleur I didn't really *do* anything, but talking about my losses on Facebook on my would be due date was really healing for me and was a way for me to honour Bugs memory by making him not a secret to family and friends.

Today is CD5 and I think AF is tapering off this time (well it is tapering off this time - was light flow on cd3 and heavy spotting yesterday. Its too early in the day to know what's going on yet - I never have anything overnight and it takes a couple hours of being up and moving to have more than pink when I wipe.

I have exciting news - really the best possible news I could have since another pregnancy won't be exciting to me until I'm at least feeling a baby moving. We're moving to an amazing house in two weeks time! Its not the country home I've been dreaming of, but its an even more ideal situation for us right now with dh so busy between work school and sports that he just can't add a commute to his day too. 10 minutes out of town is the farthest he could consider since it would mean a 20 minute drive to work, and the chances of something we can afford coming up in that range is nearly impossible.
On Monday we had just discussed waiting another month to see if anything happened to come up and then look for somewhere in town with a yard as a compromise. On Tuesday I checked rental listings online again and there was a new house up since the day before - a 3 bedroom with a fenced yard about a 5 minute walk from DHs school, and amazingly in our budget.
I called first thing Wednesday morning cause I wasn't able to call during business hours tuesday and there was a showing an hour later. So my sister came with me since DH was at work. The house was even better than the photos showed. No closets and no garage so we'd lose all our wonderful storage space but those are the only negatives really, and far outweighed by all the positives. Were on an upstairs unit with a shared unfenced yard on the corner of a busy intersection - not very kid friendly! The new place is in the middle of a quiet, older residential area with a playground and daycare and toy library 4 houses down, on the corner of a quieter cul de sac and yesterday evening we drove by to look again and the street was full of children playing and riding bikes!

Anyway I had our application in at 3:30 Wednesday afternoon and I got a call from the real estate at 1:00 yesterday to be told we were already approved!
When we went back in the evening with my mom and the girls in the evening just to look around the outside since we didn't have keys I could have cried to notice all the things I hadn't paid attention to at the showing - like the privacy hedge around the whole front yard and the willow tree overhanging the front yard with ropes from an old swing still hanging from a big branch, and the start of a spiral herb garden. And the fact that while there isn't a garage or carport, part of the bug cement patio in the back yard is a parking pad, so we can still park behind the fence and if I have a sleeping child I can leave her in the car with the door open while we play outside instead of having to wake her up. And the big tree in the backyard for shade.

The yard has plenty of space for gardening and having chickens (still need to find out if the owner is OK with chickens - city bylaws allow up to 5 hens and we'd probably get 3-4) with still enough space for them to play outside too.

Its so much better than anything I could have hoped to be able to afford, and I can't stop happy dancing. It was just the news I needed to lift my spirits. The next three weeks is going to be crazy though! But the timing is even perfect too. DH is so overwhelmed right now between work and the end of his school term but he's on a 2 week holiday from school as of the 27th, so his afternoons will be free to help pack the week before we take possession, and then he'll have a week to help move and clean this house afterwards too. We have a whole 8 day overlap with both houses too so we won't be under a huge strain to get moved in and this place cleaned for inspection in one weekend either.

 

[kdmalk]

Hi, Kate!!! Glad to hear from you. Happy that your tests were normal, but still wish you could figure out the problem. Hope the laparoscopy will give you some answers! YAY for a new doctor. Switching was the best decision I have made. I hope you feel the same!

Fleur, my dh was the same way. I told him it was baby 1's due date and he shrugged and said not to think about that because it might stress me out, which is not good for THIS baby. He has been great on everything else, but I was a little frustrated that he didn't care about the due date as much as I thought he should.

My UTI is much better. She gave me.... macrobid? Some sort of antibiotic. I have some guilt about taking both that and the diclegis I was taking for a week or two. I have taken more medicine during this pregnancy than I have in the past 10 years combined. It worries me a bit, but I'm sure baby is still alright in there. Can't wait until I get my next scan to make sure all the pieces and parts are in the right place.

I also need a moment to complain... I went on my first daycare tour yesterday and was frankly not impressed. It is one of the top choices for several of my friends, and I am just a bit upset if that is the best they have to offer down here. I guess I was a little spoiled because the daycare I worked at in college was very high-end and was brand new. So everything looks old and gross to me. My main complaint though, is that the infant room has babies from 6 weeks through 18 months. Apparently that is the most common arrangement all across the state, but the daycare I worked at had a completely separate room for 6 weeks through approx. 12 months (or whenever they were pretty well walking) and a room for 12 months to 23 or 24 when they moved to the two year old room. We had so much trouble with the walkers when there wasn't a space available yet to move them to the next room because they just don't realize how big they are. They trip and fall on the little ones and take toys out of their hands, and a 3 month old can't do anything but cry when it happens (and those were just 12 month olds! I can't imagine 18!). I am just really annoyed that the state of Arkansas thinks it is okay to have a walking, partially talking kid in the same room as one that can't even hold its own head up properly. Since all the daycares down here have the same arrangement, what the heck am I supposed to do?! I obviously can't afford a nanny, and neither of us can stay home.... So I am just feeling really stuck. I don't want to be one of those poor people that cries every day when they drop their kid off because they are so unhappy with the daycare options. But it looks like that will be me.....

 

[kdmalk]

Nat, just saw your update. THE HOUSE SOUNDS AMAZING! I am so happy you have something to look forward to! And the neighborhood will be perfect for the girls to play and make new friends!

 

[zaycain]

Kate - Have you had your DH tested at all? I think it made all the difference for us.

Natalie - Congrats on the house!! That's usually such a stressful situation. Trying to find that perfect house that will fit your hopes, dreams and budget.

Fleur - Where are you going in Europe? Sounds fun

Cou - You're totally right. I'll stop testing. Stupid miscarriage ruins everything. Sorry about the AF. Crazy about the length. That's super short! July 10th seems so far away.. but hold on!

AFM - Ok.. I stopped testing. I'm not making an appointment until 8 weeks. They don't really do anything and I don't have the money to spend on extra appointments. Plus.. I am not making any extra plans. I did too much of that last time.. I can't get my hopes up!

My closest friend just told me she was pregnant. Of course. I felt happy for her and even though I got a BFP I became super nervous and protective about this pregnancy. I really really hope this sticks, otherwise with 4 close friends having babies in January.. It's just going to stress me out!

 

[tcinks]

Everyone has been so quiet here. How are you ladies doing?

Natalie, yay for finding such a great house!! When do you move in?

Kylee that must be so frustrating. Are all the childcare facilities the same? I would think private ones would be better , but also more expensive. Maybe some that are church affiliated? The ones around me seem nice. I think all the places around me divide children up a lot more by age and development. Thankfully I have the ability and desire to stay home, I know I'd be a wreck having to trust a stranger to look after my children. I really hope you find a place that's a good fit for you!!!

Zay, how have you been feeling?

 

[coucou11]

Hi all!

Yes, quiet times around here. Work is busy for me and also I’ve just been feeling a little down this week, time is really dragging to my next appointment, I’m confused about my cycles, and just frustrated in general. Oh well.

Zay, how are you feeling? I hope everything is going great!

Nat, huge congrats on the house!!! That is so fabulous. You must be thrilled. Please post some pictures once you get there! When is the big move? How is everything going otherwise?

Kylee, what a bummer about the day care. I would definitely keep looking. I don’t know exactly where you live but I have heard good things about La Petite Academy (not a French school, oddly enough) and Bright Horizons. I think they both do 0-12 months, then 12-24, etc, so that might be more of the structure you are looking for. Also, what is the teacher to student ratio at the school you looked at? If it is low enough, the age gap might not matter so much, since the babies would have enough focus on them even despite the older kids being around.

Hope everyone else is doing well!!

 

[NDH]

Kylee how frustrating about the daycares! I would not be happy about 6 week old and 18 month olds in the same room. We don't do daycare so I don't know a lot about how its structured, but I know that here they do tend to be more about developmental milestones rather than ages - so once walking kids are moved into the next group whether they're 9 months or 16. And infants have to have a 4:1 child:educator ratio and I think at 12 months it goes to a 6:1 ratio - or maybe not til 2. I'm not sure if many daycares here take babies as young as 6 weeks though as most women get at least 4-6 months of maternity leave.

We start moving on July 2nd! So not long at all. In the middle of packing chaos here and DH has been slammed with work and school for the past 2 weeks - basically gone from 9am-10pm home briefly for lunch about 1:30 - so I'm doing it all on my own. From Friday though he has a 2 week break from school so will only be gone ti 1:30 for work and then will be able to help move.
I have a LOT to cull as we're losing all our storage space and nearly half my kitchen cupboards. But it will be so worth it in the end.

While not packing I'm researching chicken rearing as we plan to get a flock of 5 (maximum allowed in town) as soon as I have my garden beds built and a coop built - probably around late August/early September. So excited. I've always wanted chickens!

 

[KTJ006]

Hi Ladies!!!

Natalie - that house sounds like a dream!! So happy for you guys! I know the packing (especially by yourself) is rough, but think of the sweet reward you will have at the end!! Good luck these next few weeks!

Kylee - I hear ya on the daycare thing. I would be scared/frustrated too. I've had friends find some great nanny's from care.com. Have you considered giving that a try? That way you might be able to keep baby at home. Or use facebook and post a status that you're looking for childcare. Maybe you'll find a friend (or friend of a friend) that could watch yours.

Leigh - hoping the time passes more quickly for you!! I'm growing impatient as well!

Zay - how are you? We haven't moved forward on any testing on DH since I'm 99% sure the issues we're having reside with me. BUT...if this laparoscopy comes back fine, then he will be the next one to get tested

Fleur - CA125 is a cancer antigen protein in your blood. It's measured typically in people who have cancer. For instance, their levels are taken before chemo has begun and then again after. If the number is decreasing, then the chemo is working. It's been "thought" that people who have endometriosis can have a high CA125 level, though this isn't always the case. My first doctor tested this to see if it was perhaps high (my second doctor later told me this was a pointless test, as he's seen people with severe endo that had perfectly fine CA125 levels, and people with mild endo that had high numbers).

Hello to all the other ladies!!

My laparoscopy is scheduled for September 11th. YUCK. Years away it feels. The doctor was completely booked in July, then we're traveling in August, and 9/11 was the soonest I could get. My hope is we will become pregnant before then and I won't even need the surgery! That gives us 2 months of trying. If I end up having it, I still fear they won't find anything. The other crappy thing is the surgery is scheduled a week after I'm supposed to ovulate. SooOo what if I'm pregnant, don't know it, then go in for a surgery like that?? We might just have to take that month off just to be safe. Still a ways off to worry though...

SoOo I am pretty much going to stick with my second doctor. BUT, I have an appointment with my first doctor July 1st. This is just a consultation from the bloodwork I've had. I already got the results from her nurse, but this would be a more formal discussion on it. I'm debating if I even need to go to this. I feel like I'm making progress with my second doctor; however, I have SO much history at this first place, a part of me doesn't want to close the doors yet. BUT at the same time, I don't want our insurance company barking down my ear for all these GYN visits. Thoughts, ladies??