{CLOSED GROUP} Journey to BFP and Beyond!

[jlw617]

I'm glad it's helping you, she was absolutely perfect, though losing a baby at any stage is hard and I dont think I'd "prefer" to lose a baby later in pregnancy, I know for me, seeing and holding a baby that I had lost later in pregnancy would help me with the closure process.

 

[coucou11]

Oh Terrissa, those pictures are beautiful. I'm so glad you got to hold your baby girl, she looks perfect. She really is so big! She and Ronen are a part of your family, and I know they will always be with you.

I can't imagine what you are feeling right now, I imagine you were just terrified when all this was going on. I hope the healing process is peaceful for you. It might be worth looking into grief counselors near you. I know that the group I am in has helped a lot. Oh, my heart is just aching for you, I wish I could offer more than words. Sending many hugs your way.

 

[NDH]

Oh Therissa thank you for sharing the pictures of your precious daughter with us and for sharing the story of her passing. I know its something you could have felt like keeping to yourself but I'm glad you've shared her with us. Im so sorey again that she is gone will you get a preventative stitch done in early pregnancy in future?

I know this isnt the best timing, but I'm freaking out and need support too as I just got another positive pregnancy test. The big mive was yesterday but we got the keys thursday and the mive has had me so occupied I didn't even know where in my cycle I was. Had a preggo dream last night and realised ive been peeing loads so i checked my app thus morning and saw im cd30. Whule unpacking the bathroom box I had to pee so found my hpts and poas even though id been 4 times since 3am and git a line. Not blazing but not a squinter either. Im not bleeding or spotting or feelung like AF is coming so hopeful as the last three were all bleeding by this point.

 

[tcinks]

Yay Natalie! That's so exciting! Keep us posted on how things are going . Are you all moved in?

How is everyone else doing? I thought I wouldn't want to be on here as much, but honestly you ladies and some other women on this site have been such an encouragement to me on this journey I just can't stay away.

 

[tcinks]

Did any of you here in the states do anything fun for the fourth of July? We just got home from watching fireworks downtown over the river. Pretty fun, although fireworks look the same every year and we spend more time getting down there than we do actually watching them. But I guess it's tradition...

Anyway...while I was out I notice my breasts felt a little hard. I just got home and took a shower and am getting ready for bed , and oh my goodness they are rock solid! And heavy! I guess my milk is coming in. I'm trying not to get too sad about it and look for the positive. I actually am thinking that if I am able to produce then I will donate to the milk bank at one of the hospitals in my city. If I can't use it, maybe I can bless other moms and babies. But then I was thinking that I really want to get started ttc as soon as possible, and I know nursing can delay things. So I don't know...

 

[KTJ006]

Terrissa, she is absolutely beautiful. I'm glad you were able to hold her and take some pictures. And her name is just perfect. She will forever be your guardian angel along with Ronen. And do what you feel is best about the breastmilk. Breast feeding is like a birth control. Mine stayed away for 11-12 months with both kids. But it does depend on your body and how "active" you are with nursing/pumping. Still keeping you guys in prayer.

 

[jlw617]

Oh wow Natalie! I'm sure that is exciting but scary at the same time! I'll keep you in my prayers!

Terissa-we stayed home with the family and I have my niece up right now as well so we did sparklers and a few other fireworks at home and some of our neighbors had the really nice kind that see at firework shows so we just hung out as far as the breast milk is concerned, you have to do what's best for you but like Katie said it can be like birth control for a lot of women and can also take a bit to "dry" up...I would look up some info on it but I know placing cabbage leaves on your breasts for whatever reason will help to curb/stop your sappy and I believe there's even some supplements to take to help, I know they tell you to avoid peppermint while breast feeding so maybe having some things that have peppermint in them can help too?

 

[NDH]

T I really commend you for even thinking of donating milk. I think if you pumped for a couple of weeks it shouldn't delay your cycles much, if at all. most of the time its suckling that can delay AF rather than expressing. Or maybe just pump a little when you feel engorged as a way of gradually decreasing your supply and donate whatever you do get?

Still lots to do with the move, though we made really good headway unpacking last night. We slept at my parents Saturday night and didn't get to the new house to unpack at all til 4:30 yesterday but its already coming together. We'll be at it a couple of weeks though, and then I get to start building my garden beds and assembling the chicken run. Did I mention I git a free chicken coop the other day?!
And I have to Friday to get the old place cleaned. It's going to be a huge job... spent 2 hoursthere this morning while mom entertained the girls and I didn't even half finish the kitchen but then again the kitchen is always the most time intensive for cleaning so I guess that's good progress. I should have started with the bedrooms I guess which only need the walls washed so I could fly through them and feel productive

 

[tcinks]

Natalie, I like seeing yournticker!!! and it's probably nice that you're moving and keeping your mind busy and it'll help these early weeks pass by quickly.


Okay I talked to my sister and she's having trouble nursing so I might pump some for her little boy.

Problem is I am so engorged! It's a little painful. I got a pump from a friend and tried to use that a bit tonight. I only got colostrum, which I assume is to be expected. I'll keep it up for a while and hopefully it helps the swelling. But I'm worried because under my left arm there is a huge lump! I'm sure it's a clogged duct. I might call the hospital tomorrow, there have lactation consultants on staff. But in the meantime do any of you who nurse have any advice? What can I do to relieve this?! I've tried a warm compress and shower and some massaging.

 

[KTJ006]

Terrissa, keep putting warm cloths over it and massaging. And keep pumping to help with the relief. Warm showers help too. But yes, the first few days are a little painful as your body adjusts. Even when your milk does come in, you won't pump much at first. Your body has to get used to the pump and you have to learn which is the most effective way to pump. For me, I had to pump one breast using 2 hands: one hand holding the pump and the other massaging the breast, almost helping push the milk out. I was never one of those people that could just hold a breast pump up to your breast and let it do the work. I always had to help it along. Also in the first few days my milk came in, I actually got more milk out of hand expressing it myself versus using the pump. I would use both hands to squeeze the breast (start at the top of your breast, up by your armpit, and push down towards your nipple) and just express into a clean bowl. Pumping isn't always glamorous, but in those first few days when your breasts really hurt you do what you got to do! That is awesome that you are going to try to help your sister

And Natalie, not sure how I missed your other post, but YAY!!! I will pray this is your sticky bean!! I'm blown away by how good you guys are at catching that egg!!

 

[KTJ006]

Where is Kaylee and Fleur?

Leigh - don't you have bloodwork coming up this month?

Zay - how are you feeling about things?

There is the chance my laproscopy may be moved up to this month!!! I don't think I told you guys. I was debating about going to my appointment with my first doctor. It was supposed to be a formal meeting to review the bloodwork I had. I ended up going to it. I figured what the heck. If you can remember, her nurse had previously told me all my numbers (CA-125 and progesterone) all looked good. When I met with the doctor, she said my progesterone was great, but my CA-125 was in fact elevated more than it should. So it did point to endometriosis. She recommended a laparoscopy and said they should be able to get it in by July. I didn't mention that I was already scheduled for one with this other doctor in September. She said she would be preforming it, but would have assistance from another doctor, Dr. Lindel (he is my favoritest OBGYN in the entire world. In hindsight, I'm not sure why I just didn't start seeing him for all my issues in the first place). I went home and DH and I talked about everything. I decided to keep my September appointment because the doctor doing it has very positive references with that surgery. I was about to call my first doctor back the next day to tell her, but then I had a horrible pain day and it made me rethink waiting until September. I called my first doctor back and just told her everything - the pain, already being scheduled for a laparscopy in September but not wanting to wait, being nervous that she would perform the surgery when it didn't sound like she has that much experience, etc. She said she's just going to refer me to Dr. Lindel since I was 100% comfortable with him doing the procedure. So now I am waiting on a call from the scheduler to see if I can get in for this month. If I can, I'll go with Dr. Lindel who is from my first doctor place. If I can't get in for July, then I'll stay with my second doctor. Either way I go, I'm with 2 awesome doctors. I am just thankful that the original doctor I was seeing wasn't offended that I didn't want her to do the surgery. So I'm hoping for the best!

 

[NDH]

Good luck Katie - I hope you're able to get your laparoscopy this month instead of September. It will be good to have answers and a treatment plan sooner than later.

I have no idea how we keep getting pregnant so quick either - two of them have quite literally been from one time within two weeks totally unplanned quite a change from nearly 3 years TTC our first! I'd go back to taking a long time to conceive though if it guaranteed a take home baby.

 

[jlw617]

I was wondering the same thing about Kylee and fleur!

Katie-I'm glad it looks like you'll be moved up, what all does the laparoscopy entail? Will you have to wait afterwards to ttc? Sorry if you already mentioned these things. I'm glad your favoritest OB will be helping

Terissa, that's sweet you get to help your sister! I'd try to take some extra supplements to help your immune system in case it turns into mastitis and maybe even look into some essential oils.

Natalie, how's the unpacking coming along? We are still not unpacked fully!!! But we had almost no time from moving to our inlaws coming up to vacation, it's mostly just clothes and random stuff but it's still driving me bonkers!

 

[zaycain]

Terrissa - The photos are beautiful and I am in awe of your spirit. Such a difficult thing to go through and I am so glad you have support all around you. My advice is to allow yourself to be upset when you need to be. It's all part of the healing process. I don't have any pumping advice for you!

Natalie - What an incredible surprise. Taking your mind off of everything really helps. I hope this is a sticky one! I know you've been through a lot. How do you feel about it?

Katie - Oh I hope it gets moved up for your sake. My doc gave me a pain pill that was specific to the endometriosis. I went to the pharmacist and it was $17 a pill.. O.M.G. I resisted and said no thank you! I was literally on the floor in the fetal position it hurt so bad. The pain ended up being so bad I had my DH go back and just buy the stupid things. It helped, but after my surgery it helped even more. Do you know if they are going to go in to explore only or 'zap' them away?

AFM - I'm up and down. I've been sleeping a lot. My nephews and niece (4 total) are visiting and I snap at them constantly. I told my sister that I was preggs and she understood. She's lost a bunch as well.

Currently I am feeling sick, doesn't mean anything though! Last time I was so sick and I had a mmc so it doesn't help me feel this is anymore viable than the last time!

My appointment is on Wednesday. I'll probably get an u/s the week after. We'll see!

 

[NDH]

Jamie I spent 6 hours today cleaning the old house (and didn't even finish the kitchen!) And then washed and hung 4 loads of laundry and then had to cook dinner. I barely had time to unpack even one box today Though I did do a bit of unpacking in the sewing room tonight while watching a tv show with dh. He's now sharing a room with my sewing stuff so in the evenings I'll be able to sew while we watch tv together on his second monitor I'll be cleaning the old house most of the week so not much unpacking will get done before we hand keys in though. And we still red to buy a wardrobe for our room and other shelving and a long skinny table for the kitchen as there's no counter space and hardly ant storage for appliances. It's taking shape though.

Zay will this be your first appointment? Oh I hope its a good news one.
I'm doing ok - feeling quite calm and a twinge of excitement. Other than peeing loads I have no other symptoms which strangely I find reassuring as that was badicslly my only sympyom with the girls too until heartburn struck later, wheras with the others I had quite strong symptoms. No bleeding definitely helps the anxiety level. And as Jamie pointed out cleaning and unpacking will help keep me distracted during the early weeks.
I still haven't told dh yet.

 

[KTJ006]

Ohmygosh, Natalie you haven't told your DH?! You are funny. I don't think I could hold it in that long... Haha.

Zay - it'll be a diagnostic surgery but they'll fix anything they find while preserving my fertility as much as they can. They won't take out any of my ovaries (even if they have to...I instructed them not to as I want to have a discussion on that while I'm awake and not sleeping) or give me a hysterectomy. They'll also flush out my tubes and do the dye test to be sure they're all clear. So it'll be a good procedure and I'm strangely looking forward to it. And $17 a pill?! I guess if it helped through it's totally worth it. And you had a laparoscopy? Do you mind telling me about your experience? I'm still not certain they'll find anything... Because that's just my luck. But at least we'll know for sure at that point

Jamie - a laparoscopy is when they make an incision around your belly button and stick a camera down there to observe what's going on in your abdominal cavity and surrounding areas such as the reproductive areas. They inflate your belly with gas so your abs aren't resting against the area they're trying to see. Depending on what they find will depend on what they do. Sometimes they laser out growths or adhesions. Sometimes it leads to a bigger surgery called a laparotomy that involves much bigger incisions if the laparoscopy gets too complicated. Here's a good site on it:
https://www.m.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/laparoscopy-16156

And good luck with the unpacking too! Your summer must be flying by with how busy you've been!

 

[zaycain]

Katie - Of course! I had a cyst on my ovaries and they were getting big so they went in to remove it.. while they were in there they zapped the endometriosis out and I think it helped with everything.

It took a week to recover. The hardest part about recovery is the gas. They put gas in you to see what they are doing and you have to get it out of your body one way or another! It might be a little different because they had to cut slits on my bikini line AND put a camera in.

I got the blue dye test too and all was clear.

It wasn't too bad but I did feel much better after I recovered. I didn't need anymore pain pills!

 

[jlw617]

Katie-Oh my word yes the worst part about any abdominal surgery is the gas! It's quite painful, I hope you have a quick recovery and get some answers! I know you'll have to wait and see if further procedures are necessary but if none are needed do you know how long you'll have to wait before ttc again?

Natalie-you are putting me to shame lol! I have zero energy-I think its the GD, it just makes me feel zapped all the time! When I do finally get some energy I'm going to make a crib skirt for the baby's room, but I'm not sure if that'll ever happen

Zay-don't beat yourself up about snapping, my niece is up and I feel like the worst aunt ever because I've been so tired and blah lately, we've hardly done anything and I wanted this to be a fun trip for her.

 

[NDH]

Jamie well the pregnancy exhaustion hasn't hit yet (or maybe it has and I'm just confusing it with moving exhaustion lol) now I have all the more reason to get everything done ASAP before I lose motivation or nausea sets in lol.

Oh poop just heard the garbage truck go by. No one told us which day the bins go out on our street

Katie usually I'm a wave a pee stick in his face kinda girl but I'm trying to think of a more memorable way to tell him this time.

 

[KTJ006]

Terrissa, how are you doing today? Thinking of you...