{CLOSED GROUP} Journey to BFP and Beyond!

[jlw617]

Natalie, that is crazy!!!! I would be so scared, I'm glad no one got hurt!

Kylee-haha that sounds like my dh

Terissa-definitely a lot to pray about! But it does sound very exciting and a little nerve wracking

Afm-so it has been the longest past couple days of my life, the day everything happened I bawled every time I went to pee, yesterday day it still hurt really bad and I was still bleeding a decent amount from what that lady did to me but I wasn't crying every time I went. We have gone to the very top with the hospital and are still communicating with them, they of course are telling me "how difficult it would be to go into my urethra" so I told them-"ok well I'm bleeding and it's not coming from my vaginal opening so you tell me where it's coming from" I also had the test repeated at my midwives office which was totally painless and quick and what do you know?! No blood-it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that there's only 2 places I could be bleeding from! My husband wrote them a long email and told them we are strongly considering taking legal action. As of yesterday we were both still so angry and worried that I was still bleeding as much as I was that I contacted an attorney's office and decided today I would see a urologist to assess the damage that was done because we were worried it wouldn't heal or I would have long term damage...anyhow we both prayed very specifically that God would heal me and that if He did we wouldn't pursue this anymore from a legal perspective, which I have no problem going after someone legally but we just wanted to be done with this and I wanted to be back to normal. God answered! This morning I'm barely bleeding and have very little pain...Mentally I'm still having a hard time when I go to the bathroom because the pain was that bad, I have to basically pep talk myself and I still dread when I get the urge to go but the pain is just slightly uncomfortable now, I just was so frightened at the though of going these past 2 days that I think it's going to be a good 2-3 days before my brain says everything is ok now, I never imagined something seemingly so small could effect someone this much but I have a whole new point of view on emotional distress caused by something seemingly minor.

 

[zaycain]

Jamie - Goodness gracious! That sounds awful! Have you gotten a response from the hospital? Nurses can be really amazing or completely incompetent with no compassion. I am so pissed for you!

Are you still going to a urologist? How are you feeling now?


Natalie - Thank goodness the kids weren't in the car! How terrifying! I think we think it's going to explode because of the movies. I would have thought the same thing.

Is insurance going to help at all?

Terrissa - That's amazing you guys are doing the foster care program. I always wanted to adopt, but my hubby wanted his own, so we had a deal. First one is our, second one is an adoption. I think the training is a great way to give back, if you can't take on a child at the end, at least you're prepared for when they may need you in the future. Does the training expire?


Kylee - Have you ever heard of "bat dad"? Look him up.. it's hilarious.


Afm - I'm 11 weeks now and kinda symptom-less. I have my energy again and I feel totally fine. It's freaking me out. I have an appointment with my regular OB on Monday and my 12 week ultrasound on Thursday. A missed miscarriage is so cruel.. I just feel like it's not real.

On another front.. work is going very badly. A client hasn't paid in 4 months and my business partner is talking about getting another job. I feel like I've failed. Last week I had a really tough time just crying and upset. I did a LOT of praying. A lot of pleading asking for strength and fearlessness. I think it worked. Today has been bad.. but I'm able to let it roll off of me and keep going. Or.. maybe hormones have just stopped being crazy. I dunno. It's still terrifying... but I feel little better equipped to handle everything.

God is so mysterious.

 

[tcinks]

Jamie, what an ordeal. I'm glad you made a decision on whether or not to pursue it further. Hope the pain and fear is completely gone now.

Zaycain, sorry things have been rough. That would be a lot to handle. I'm sure everything is just fine with baby, symptoms come and go. Looking forward to your 12 week update.

As for me, af showed today!!!! So excited to be moving forward. I still have to convince dh though, he still wants to wait another cycle after this!

 

[jlw617]

Thanks Zay, I'm not going to see a urologist any more, I'm pretty sure things are all back to normal now, thank God! I'm sorry you're feeling that way about your pregnancy, it definitely can be rough and not feel real for a while-I hope your next appointment gives you reassurance. I'm glad you were able to overcome your hard week with praying, that's the hardest time to pray is through trials!

Terissa-I'm glad af finally showed for you! Hopefully you can get dh on board or just seduce him

 

[ParadiseX3]

Hello ladies, is it possible for me to join? I'm Jessie from North Carolina, me and my boyfriend have been in a interracial relationship for over 2 years, despite the looks and side comments we receive on a daily, we decided we want to start a family and live our lives happily despite what anyone says. In 2014 I had 3 miscarriages, Jan at 6 weeks, May at 5 weeks, and Nov at 8 weeks, hospital never told me any reason, they said it was to early to tell for sure and i didn't have insurance to go to the doctor and find out what went wrong and medicaid didn't kick in in time. But now I think we are ready to maybe possibly with the grace of God try again!!

 

[coucou11]

Hi ladies - just checking in quickly, I was away so I was checking up but not really posting. Hoping everyone is feeling good, Jamie so sorry about your terrible ordeal! So scary! And T, yay for AF!

I am 12 dpo, BFN this morning. Will test again today maybe with a First response (which I think has a higher sensitivity than the ICs I have) and tomorrow morning. If there is still nothing, I'll stop the progesterone and move on. So it's kind of a bummer day - back to work and done with vacation and on top of that, a BFN. I'm sure I'll get over it but just feeling sorry for myself.

 

[zaycain]

So I go in for my appointment today and they tell me that the doctor won't be in for another 3 hours. Except the doctor they were referring to was a doctor that I didn't have an appointment with. My doctor wasn't even in today.

I made the appointment 2 weeks ago. I. was. livid.

I made another appointment for Wednesday with a different doctor because my doc isn't in until the next week, but my ultrasound is already scheduled for Thursday and I need a referral. I have yet to see my actual doctor because the first appointment I had, they switch the doctor last minute. So I won't see my actual doctor until my 20 week appointment!


That is .. if I even get there. I have been feeling totally fine.. it's so odd. I don't feel pregnant! Hopefully I have a stupid appointment. I don't even care to see the doctor.. I just want to see an ultrasound.


T - I'm so glad that you got your AF!

Cou - I'm sorry girl. 12 is pretty early. I got a very very very very very faint BFP on 12 DPO. It's possible it's just not strong enough yet. I'll keep my fingers cross.

Jamie - How are you feeling?

 

[NDH]

That's nuts Zaycain! What a complete waste of your time, plus anxiety much about having a scan booked and no referral yet because of their error. And seriously how does someone make an appointment for a patient and not realize the Dr isn't even in that day? And if a change in their schedule how hard is it to phone the patients scheduled and rebook? Seriously annoyed for you. And also praying that everything is fine and you'll see a wiggling and kicking baby with a strong heartbeat at your next scan

 

[jlw617]

Cou-sorry you're feeling kind of bummed it is still very possible...are you feeling like af is on her way?

Zay-I would be livid too! Now that I have a midwife that I absolutely love, I really don't care to see anyone else but I know my practice wants me to start seeing other midwives, I seriously think that I might only see a couple and then tell her that I feel comfortable with who I've met now and really whether I do or not doesn't really matter because whoever delivers me is going to deliver me based on who's on call.

 

[coucou11]

Hi all - BFN again this morning, 13 dpo.

I'm going to step away for a little while and reevaluate things. This one is hitting me really hard. I know it's mostly grief, but I still haven't found a good way to process it. I'm so incredibly stressed about TTC, and even after all the testing and money and new doctors these past few months, nothing has changed. I just don't know what to do, or if I'm strong enough to keep this up.

I'm sure I'll be back on and off, and of course I'll be thinking of all of you.

 

[jlw617]

I'm sorry Cou, we will be thinking about you, check in when you're ready

 

[kdmalk]

Will be thinking of you, Leigh. I hope things turn around soon.

Zay, that is SO frustrating. I'm sorry. Looking forward to hearing good news from your scan, whenever that is! I know that Fleur has felt great through her pregnancy as well and all is fine! Don't worry!!!!

So....
I am finally feeling better.
Today I wanted some strawberries and Nutella (which I haven't had in a long time), and I totally ate AN ENTIRE CARTON OF STRAWBERRIES and a truck load of Nutella on top. I joked on another thread that I seem to be trying to make up for months of being in a calorie deficit every day in one single sitting. Lol.

I am actually feeling quite guilty about it. Way too much sugar and fruit at once. I am going to try to lay off the sugar for the next few days in an attempt to offset my crazy binge. I doubt that will happen though.

 

[zaycain]

Aww cou. I understand the need to step away. I've done it! What helped me was focusing on getting healthy from the inside out. I focused on eating better and working out like crazy. It helped with stress and made me feel much better. Might have helped as well.

Major hugs to you and check in and let us know how you are..

 

[zaycain]

Kylee - I'm glad you're feeling better. I had a sugar binge too.. it feels mentally awful.. but you'll persevere.

AFM - The appointment saga continues.

Get this. I get a call from my dr.'s office confirming today's appointment. Then 20 minutes later they called and said .. 'oh sorry.. she's not going to be in'. W.T.F.?? Luckily, I got a referral for the ultrasound tomorrow without having to see this random doc and got an appointment next week with my ACTUAL doc. Maybe. It's hard to tell. Three times in a row they've messed up my appointment.

So tomorrow I have my NT Scan. I'm going to be either very happy or very sad. I will keep you posted.

 

[jlw617]

Zay-have you said anything to the office yet? I would be so mad, I wouldn't be rude but just straight up and say, is there a problem because it sounds like someone is incompetent when I've had this many issues and with seeing my doctor. Anyhow, I hope it gos well for you!

Kylee-I'm so glad you're feeling better! Don't feel too bad and plus it's better than having GD, I can't even have a bowl of cereal and I love cereal, strawberries and Nutella, I could maybe have one lol

 

[kdmalk]

Glad you got in for an appointment tomorrow, zay. But super annoyed for you that they keep changing and rescheduling appointments. Maybe the doc is having some personal/medical issues and is needing to take time off when not feeling well or something? Just a random thought.

Jamie- would I KNOW if I had GD? Because I am kind of afraid of that. I haven't had my test yet, so I am just kind of sitting around kicking myself when I eat sugar and hoping I am not doing something I shouldn't without knowing.

So I had my anatomy scan this morning. I am not thrilled. I think I imagined it differently in my head. I did watch just one online and it was a couple explaining their anatomy scan video. The tech counted fingers and toes and measured the little kidneys and blahblahblah. My tech was kind of quiet, but did tell me what she was measuring and looking at while she was doing it. His head was completely buried, so she couldn't ever really see his face, which makes me sad because I have harbored a secret fear of a cleft lip and I don't know if she even saw his face well enough to determine that everything was alright. That isn't my main concern though. We have a friend whose son was born with a major heart defect (they found it at her anatomy scan) and he lived for I believe about 8 months before passing away. He was in the hospital the entire time. So I have always been concerned first about his heart. I was really looking forward to putting all my fears about fingers and toes and lips and heart to rest today, but I don't feel like I was able to put ANY of that to rest. I never got to see his little fingers or toes, couldn't really see his face, and then the part that really gets me. She said nothing about his heart aside from giving us the heart rate. She measured this and that and kept saying that everything was "normal" or "looked good".... and never said anything about his heart. She went back to it at least 4 or 5 times and kept checking it over and over, but never said anything. She did label it as 4 chamber, which makes me feel better, but now I am worried that it isn't pumping right or something. All techs know that people are concerned about the heart and the brain and having 2 arms and 2 legs. Why did she tell me everything else was okay, but never mention his heart after looking at it so many times?

I did ask when I would know if something was wrong. She said there would be a written report for the doctor tomorrow. She also said that she didn't see anything that "concerned her", but of course I began analyzing her sentence immediately because she never mentioned his heart. In my mind there is a difference between not seeing anything WRONG and not seeing anything CONCERNING. A three chamber heart is CONCERNING; a heart murmur is WRONG but not CONCERNING because it can be easily fixed or won't bother him.

As per usual, hubby says I am overanalyzing.... but she just checked his heart too many times without saying anything for me to be at ease about it. I was really looking forward to today and honestly I just feel completely deflated. My other back-of-my-mind fear is my cervix, and she didn't even look at it. Or if she did, she didn't say it looked normal.... which again might mean that it wasn't. Aren't they supposed to check that? I know she checked my placenta.

Why couldn't this have just gone how I wanted it to go in my mind? Sorry for such a downer post, guys. I was just really looking forward to relaxing and enjoying the rest of my pregnancy, and I feel like my scan accomplished nothing.

 

[jlw617]

Kylee-some women have symptoms and some women don't however it's unlikely at this point because *most* womens don't manifest until 26ish weeks, I was just extra fortunate to have had it since about 12 weeks but I will tell you that I did have symptoms and they were extreme fatigue(worse than typical pregnancy fatique) especially after eating, also I just felt really horrible and jittery at times (this i found out later was my blood sugars actually going too low)

It sounds like your anatomy scan went well despite not seeing the face, if he had all 4 chambers, that's an excellent sign! My little guy would also not cooperate during the anatomy scan and we didn't see his face, we honestly would have been happy because of how healthy he looked but they wanted an additional scan to see his face for cleft lip as well as his diaphragm, all was well! You may find if they haven't already said anything that they may want to do another quick scan to finish looking at your little guy!

 

[zaycain]

I AM PISSED.

So my NT scan went great. The little turtle was jumping around and all measurements looked good. Yay. Happy. It was at a hospital away from my doctor's office.

The girl then asked if I had gotten specific blood work done and I said.. they took a lot at my 8 week.. but I'm not sure. So she said.. well you should double check.

So.. I call my doctor's office for test results. The nurse tells me.. YOU CAME BACK POSITIVE FOR CHLAMYDIA.

First of all. I don't believe it for a second. How is it that I had all this blood work and a D&C in November and didn't come back positive.

Second of all. WHY THE FUCK HAS NO ONE CALLED ME 4 EFFING WEEKS AFTER GETTING THIS TEST????

I. am. so. livid. I got an appointment for today.. and I am going to to CHEW them out. This is the LAST FUCKING STRAW.

Let's recap shall we?

1. Appointment with a doctor switches the doctor last minute without telling me.
2. I make an appointment two weeks ahead of time and they have the doctor AND the time wrong.
3. The make up appointment, they call to confirm then call back to say.. Oops he's not going to be in. (This isn't even my normal doctor)
4. I ask them to send a referral to the ultrasound place. Oh.. guess what DIDN'T happen.
5. I call for test results finding out they forgot to call me and tell me I'm positive for an STD FOUR WEEKS after the test.

I can't. even. handle.

I have an appointment today at 3pm. It is going down.

 

[jlw617]

Oh my word Zay! What a total mess! there was a lady on another board a while back who had tested positive for an std, she was so upset but in the end the test actually ended up being wrong...I would totally give it to them, I'm sorry though that you're having to go through that. I know I was livid with my whole ER ordeal, the hospital must have finally realized how serious we were because I spoke with one of their big wigs the other day and she said don't worry about having to pay a bill.

On a good note though, congrats on the little mr/mrs looking great!

 

[KTJ006]

Zay - how did your appointment go? What a freakin mess!! So sorry you have to deal with this.

Laaaaadiiiiies...it's been quiet on here. I thought I'd come back to missing a bunch but I didn't! How is everyone?

AF should be here tomorrow or Monday. I'm ready for this cycle!! We're trying Preseed and I want to try using softcups after we DTD to keep more of the little guys in me (a bunch come out right after when I pee...sorry if TMI!!). Has anyone done/heard of this?

Beach was fab!! Too short. Unfortunately it ended on a bad note: hubby got a speeding ticket on the way home. We are in search of a lawyer. I'm not happy because it'll be a lot of money. Blah. It'll all work out, right?