[CLOSED GROUP] Trick or treat, Baby feet, Give me some chubby cheeks to eat

[NDTaber9211]

hrmm.... I'd say they are ALMOST positive. Not quite there yet. Usually the test line needs to be more then 1/2 dark and they only look 1/2 way to me.

 

[frsttimemama]

Yay Julie!!

 

[frsttimemama]

Thanks Nichole. Never knew that. I guess I'll keep peeing on them. At least I didn't miss it yet.

 

[VivianJean]

I agree - when it's +ive there is NO doubt. It's getting close tho - time to send in the first wave of solja-boys

 

[HWPG]

soja-boys and video, hit 'em high and hit 'em low (i have no idea what the words are, this is what i sing)
i wish everythign on me didnt hurt - boobs hurt, cramps hurt, legs hurt, heart hurts. hurty everywhere.
me and my period are going to have a cheeseburger for dinner after buying some fancy hair accessories.

 

[SmallTownGal]

I get to start progesterone vaginal suppositories tomorrow . Not really looking forward to that. The things I've read on the internet, they seem pretty gross. The things we do for our sticky bean!

FX'd it puts you over the top!

--------

Amelia I feel you, I so feel you. IF is just a hard hard road, isn't it?

--------

Thanks, Rachel. It sucks, to be so very honest. I'm still trying not to resent him, but again, to be honest, I do.

No judging, im in a terribly dark place right now and I know it. Coping isn't my strong point. Im having trouble finding him attractive right now and seeing a future together. In some weird twisted away, Im confusing love and attraction with fertility. Having a hard time because i know that he isn't capable of getting me pregnant so I can't bring myself to be attracted to him.

Having been pregnant before by another person doesn't make it any easier. I keep pining for the ease of that pregnancy. There was no guesswork, no tears, no negatives. It took one month and boom! Preggo. My head is going to really dark places out of desperation for a baby. I keep finding myself wishing I could go back in time to make that past relationship work, just so I could have a baby. Of course that's the worst idea possible and in no way something that I should even be thinking. Gggrrrrr. Thank god for therapists.

Sorry, Rant over. Happy almost Friday, ladies.

Amanda, I am so sorry you feel that way. It's totally understandable. I'm on the other end , afraid my hubby will feel that way toward me, even though he denies it.

Ditto, Sandy. to both of you.

And, Amanda, on the bright side, you don't want to feel that way, and you have self-awareness and a willingness to work through it! You've got those things going for you, even in these dark times, so there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it seems very far away right now.

And I blame society for the conflating of love/attraction and fertility (which is like a stealth time bomb waiting to blow if IF happens). Think of that popular children's song: K-I-S-S-I-N-G. "___ and ___ sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage." Love/Attraction = Baby is sorta drilled in our heads from a very young age. (Not unlike the idea that if you step a toe out of line, BC wise, then you will get preggo instantly.) And that kind of stuff is really pernicious - even when you know it's there and know it's inaccurate, it's hard to not feel like it's true. But the good news is, that it can be fought and with enough time and work we can overwhelm it (even if we have to keep fighting it from time to time, like a horror movie monster that keeps trying to come back for one more scare).

Hang in there and keep up with your therapy and you'll get through this! I have faith in you!

thanks ladies. Today is a new today, hopefully a much better one!

Happy friday!

Glad you are feeling better today!

---------------

AFM: The past 10 days DH and I have been battling sinus and allergy problems. Tis the season. :/ I've been having trouble with my ears (and my colon has been rather unhappy, as well), which has ramped up my anxiety, and I had to take short break from the boards and avoid thinking about TTC as much as possible, for a bit.

The last couple days I've been having hot and cold flashes, boob pain, and nausea, and I hoped it was a good sign to have that configuration, but today I got spotting, as per usual for 13dpo, so probably not. I know it's not impossible to be PG at this point, but the chances of it are greatly reduced with the spotting, and would be better without it, so I had a cry today and I'm feeling pretty frustrated and bummed. I hoped to at least be rid of the spotting, even if I didn't get PG, this time. And that nasty doom voice (it's the devil! hssss!) keeps trying to tell me that it won't ever happen and if it didn't work on Femara cycle #1 then Femara must be a bust, even though I know that's not rational and the truth is I don't know what the future holds.

I hope the Femara is doing some good, but I'm feeling less sure since I'm still getting that stupid spotting, ugh. I O'd on a textbook day, though, and felt less emotional during Cryfest (not nearly as much crying as usual), so I'm hoping that it's doing good and our number just didn't come up on Bio Roulette this month. I've just called my FS/RE and left a message asking about the spotting and what that might mean and whether anything needs adjusting or any testing needs done.

So, it looks like we'll have to try and cheer ourselves up, this anniversary. DH and I are planning on going to a new sushi joint and ordering the Love Boat sushi dish (they bring a bunch of sushi out to you in a cute wooden boat). We will have to see our movie (Captain Phillips) next week, though, since DH's work put him on priority call, this weekend, and he's not allowed to turn his work cell phone off.

Hugs to all and dust to those who need it! Throw some prayers on there too!

 

[SmallTownGal]

soja-boys and video, hit 'em high and hit 'em low (i have no idea what the words are, this is what i sing)
i wish everythign on me didnt hurt - boobs hurt, cramps hurt, legs hurt, heart hurts. hurty everywhere.
me and my period are going to have a cheeseburger for dinner after buying some fancy hair accessories.

Oh, how I've been there!

---------

AFM: The FS/RE nurse just called back and assured me that spotting isn't a sign that the Femara isn't working or even a sign of anything, since it's a mystery why some women spot and some don't, and why some of those women spot before or during PG and some don't, and even if all the women in my family who spotted before AF didn't spot before/during PG that doesn't mean that will happen for me, so I really can't know I'm out till cd1 (and some women spot all through PG and are just fine). Ah, it's sort of a relief but it's a double edged sword...I'm glad to be assured from my clinic that I'm not out and that the spotting doesn't effect my chances of ever being PG, but I hate that I'm still in limbo and that the spotting is a mystery. The nurse said they don't even consider spotting notable because there is really no causation with anything. Still wish I didn't spot though...it's disconcerting and a pain to deal with. It would be easier if I didn't have to play "is this still just spotting, or is it AF?" when it goes from spotting to light AF. Ugh, I'm going to start calling the spotting "witchlets". The witchlets are here, hopefully the witch doesn't follow.

 

[frsttimemama]

Witchlets?? That cracks me up and I love it, although, I don't love that they are visiting you.

BD done. Softcup in. Cleaning my house. Thank goodness!! It needs some attention. And I love cleaning. I just need more time to do it! Chili simmering on the stove. Perfect for a night like tonight. Hubby told me just to tell him we need to BD next time, instead of freaking out like this morning. Poor guy. I love him, and I'm so lucky.

 

[clynn11]

You really are lucky he's so willing like that. If I tell Kevin it's go time he gets stage fright. He doesn't like the pressure :/ it sucks.

 

[clynn11]

Mirolee, you're running the November thread, right?

Just an update for you so you can update the front page when it's time,

Julie's due date is 5/5/14
Molly's due date is 5/26/14
Rachel is due 4/14/14
and Britt is due 6/22/14

 

[RobertRedford]

OH and I are going to his urologist together on November 11th. WOOHOO! First time that I will be able to go with him to the doctor so we can get some answers together. Finally some light at the end of the tunnel!

STG, giggling at "witchlets"

 

[VivianJean]

Yaaaaayyyyyy!!

 

[frsttimemama]

Cassidy, I am VERY lucky. I try not to tell him so he doesn't stress about it and have stage fright, although he has not yet. But last night, initiating didn't work because he didn't feel well and I was so mad and sad and frustrated and disappointed that I didn't tell him. My own fault he didn't know.

Pretty sure I just got my positive!! Waiting for it to.dry so I can know for sure, but it looks darker than the control and that's never happened before!

 

[VivianJean]

nice work!!!!!

 

[frsttimemama]

Amanda, that's great!! So glad for you. I hope you all get some promising answers.

 

[clynn11]

Woohooo for a positive! Your BD timing has been perfect!!! Hoping to see a BFP from you here in two(ish) weeks!!!

 

[clynn11]

Amanda, hope your appointment leads to some answers/good news. Stay positive girl, I can only imagine how you have been feeling since receiving that news. Here if you need to talk.

AFM, 9dpo. Doesn't really matter since there is zero chance this month. Ready for AF to get here to start all over again. Hopefully have a better month in November.

 

[prgirl_11]

Witchlets?? That cracks me up and I love it, although, I don't love that they are visiting you.

BD done. Softcup in. Cleaning my house. Thank goodness!! It needs some attention. And I love cleaning. I just need more time to do it! Chili simmering on the stove. Perfect for a night like tonight. Hubby told me just to tell him we need to BD next time, instead of freaking out like this morning. Poor guy. I love him, and I'm so lucky.

You really are lucky he's so willing like that. If I tell Kevin it's go time he gets stage fright. He doesn't like the pressure :/ it sucks.

DH had performance anxiety for the first year we were TTC. He relied on a lot of natural supplements, and I'm talking a LOT and sometimes it didn't work. I was way more patient and encouraging than I ever thought I could be and for the past 5-6 months he has been ready to go without ANY supplements or anything. He's been great and it has helped his wanting to BD. Now, he asks me if I'm fertile and he's good to go be patient and supportive. If we break down or get upset it makes everything worse, trust me I know LOL. Don't give up on him hun

Cassidy, I am VERY lucky. I try not to tell him so he doesn't stress about it and have stage fright, although he has not yet. But last night, initiating didn't work because he didn't feel well and I was so mad and sad and frustrated and disappointed that I didn't tell him. My own fault he didn't know.

Pretty sure I just got my positive!! Waiting for it to.dry so I can know for sure, but it looks darker than the control and that's never happened before!

!!!!!! BD the next three (or at least two) days!!!


AFM, I called a total of around 30 labs and found ONE that will do the SA for $127 on Monday. I needed it done and results by Wednesday but results take five days. I had to reschedule my results analysis appointment to the FOLLOWING Wednesday

 

[prgirl_11]

Nichole,

Are you going to test on the last day of October to see if you'll get your October or are you going to wait until later?

 

[frsttimemama]

So excited to see this positive, I had to share!! I've never had one like this! I guess maybe I never had a true positive? Anyway, I have it now. Yay!