Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[Alie]

What gender is your new baby snaggle?

 

[snagglepat]

Hi Alie,

We don't know. Only a few weeks to go until all is revealed though...

Gina. x

 

[RubyRainbows]

Thanks girls for wishing us luck -- the whole trip was pretty chaotic! I have to say i really am discouraged with this process......... and feel like giving up if it doesn't happen this month. Traveling 2 hours each way & staying at a hotel with my DS is very stressful! He is extremely hyper-active & defiant! The donor was unable to leave work early yesterday..... so we got to the hotel early for nothing. It just meant more hours trying to occupy DS in a tiny cheap motel! And then in the middle of the night he wasn't breathing well... and i was afraid he was having an asthma attack bc he was wheezing & gasping for air. We had his rescue inhaler with us (thank God)... but not his nebulizer bc he hasn't needed it since last June (and he has only ever needed it when sick... never in an emergency situation). Since we had no idea where the local hospital was, i ended up calling 911 and we had to ride in the back of an ambulance to a hospital! Turns out DS has croup, and it was not an asthma attack, which is why the rescue inhaler wasn't working! They gave him a dose of steroid... which helped alot! But we spent the rest of the night listening to DS breathe & getting very little sleep!

At any rate... met the donor this morning... but was unable to chat at all bc DS was acting like a maniac (possibly a combination of being cooped up in the hotel... his normal hyperactivity... and maybe left-over effects from the albuterol they gave him in the ambulance!). But he was running all over the hotel lobby like a mad man!

Insemination went well... we used a tiny bit of pre-seed... and there was very little leakage this time! Well... tiny bit of leakage while legs were in the air (for 1 hour). When OH stood up... there was lots of leakage!!!!!!!!!

Donor emailed this info regarding shipping (after i sent him an apology email for not being able to chat this morning):

I was going to give you some feedback on mailing option...

Package comes thru Company (I can find that out for you) VIA FEDEX. Intent is to get sample in a test tube mixed with a suspension fluid (basically egg whites) back to you within 12 hours so it is timed with your cycle. Box contains a dry ice block (basically a cooling jel pack) that keeps sample from getting spoiled, although it wont last after 24 hours. Pretty simple actually, you just have to be readily accessible for FEDEX pick-up as it is a perishable sample box. Cost sending ran about $45 and that was same on return (which i cover).

Still not sure what to think about this option. I don't think shipping a fresh sample is ideal......... but after last night i can't bear another trip to that hotel!

Gina -- I will gladly spread the word on here if i see your birth announcement on FB!

 

[LunaBean]

Aww ruby that sucks Might be worth lookin into the shipping then?Im sure it'll work, you should maybe google success stories etc? I hope you dont need to try anymore after this month!! Good luck!!!

 

[Tegans Mama]

I would look into the shipping aswell Ruby. I understand totally about how hard ttc is - we've only tried for 2 months this time, and had two losses, and I am very, very disheartened now. I really want another baby, so does my OH, but I'm just not feeling this trying thing. In fact I can honestly say I really dislike it

 

[RubyRainbows]

Lea... big hugs. You've been thru alot. And from what i know of you & your OH... you are both so strong. Give yourselves some time. Maybe after a little break, you will both feel ready to try again.

But yes... i agree... the "trying" to conceive part really really sucks!!!!!

 

[Tegans Mama]

Thanks Ruby.. I think after the two losses I am just wondering if it's really worth it. I know it will be, once I'm pregnant and things are fine.. At the minute though things are great at home, Tegan's doing really well, our house is nice, we are not "well off" but we're not strapped for cash either, Tegan sleeps well so we're both doing OK for sleep, we have a 'routine' and what we do works for us.. I know that having another baby will throw a spanner in all that for a bit and I am just feeling unsure. I think it's all natural though! We've not really spoken about this month, I guess we are both just presuming we're having a little break before we get back on the wagon!

 

[snagglepat]

Lea, I just want to say that everything you're saying rings very true for us too. In fact I've found myself at multiple points in this pregnancy questioning whether we've done the right thing, which feels terrible given how lucky I know we are. We ummed and ahed before trying and then gave ourselves a very limited window in which to try before stopping and accepting the family we already were. It was only when we got that BFP that it dawned on me that I really hadn't expected it to work given our previous history, so this pregnancy has seen quite a lot of evolution in my thoughts and feelings. Of course, the primary feeling is one of great happiness, and I know that as soon as we meet this baby we're going to fall head over heels in love again and won't be able to imagine a world in which they weren't a part of our family too. But right now, even so close to them being born, I still find myself questioning and even grieving for the one-on-one time I'm going to lose with Ember (quite ignoring the fact that she goes up to four days a week at play group next week).

I've found it very useful to talk to others who are planning or expecting a second child - through that I know these feelings are extremely common so I don't feel so bad about having them. I also know that everyone says that it stops almost immediately once the new baby arrives, probably because there isn't time to dwell on anything in the chaos that ensues but also because that unconditional love kicks in again.

Of course, this is all very easy for me to say. We're possibly just days away from being a two child family, but after going through three and a half years of trying last time, two donors, three miscarriages, and more heartache than I thought we could bear I do understand at least some of what you're going through. There's a meditation/hypnotherapy CD that I used the first time which I found really helpful in keeping my stress and anxiety levels down and which made a massive difference to how positive I felt about the whole process. It was the 'prepare to conceive' CD (not a 'trying' in sight) by Natal Hypnotherapy: https://www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk/5.html. I'm not sure if that kind of thing would be up your street or not but it was very helpful to me.

Sending big hugs all round (they're very round ones coming from me right now)

Gina. x

 

[Naaxi]

Hi ladies... I was just wondering if I could join you. Me and OH have been unsuccessful with IUI and have turned to the cheaper (and most probably way less painful for me) route of at home insemination with known donor sperm.

 

[Nimyra]

Hi ladies... I was just wondering if I could join you. Me and OH have been unsuccessful with IUI and have turned to the cheaper (and most probably way less painful for me) route of at home insemination with known donor sperm.

Welcome Naaxi!

Have you found a donor already or are you just starting down this path?

Feel free to ask any questions you may have - there are also answers to frequently asked questions in the HOW TO thread listed in my signature block.

Good luck!

 

[Naaxi]

I read all of the how to thread already ... And the donor is a close family friend. He and his wife are the kindest people I have ever met in my life, I am so lucky to have found them.

I just hope we don't make things awkward between all of us. We have all spoken at length about it, paused to try IUI and when both months failed have taken up talking about it again and now it's set and we're going to try this month. I'm on CD4.

 

[Nimyra]

Sounds great, Naaxi!

When I was first considering using donor sperm a good friend offered and my husband and I were considering using him. In the end we decided not to because of some genetic questions (main reason) and because we worried it might ruin our friendship (possibly a lesser issue). I hope you have lots of luck in the new year!

I really want to start trying for number 2 but I've convinced myself (for now) that I should wait until Maya is a bit older and not having them too close together. TTC and pregnancy also completely killed my sex life with my husband, and after the year long deployment it would probably be good for us to have some time to get back to normal before making it all crazy again.

Just thinking that a year ago, Miss Maya wasn't in my life and I was dreading the upcoming separation with my husband. Now he is due home soon!

 

[RubyRainbows]

Gina -- your post made me think of the other night. I was laying in bed, happily thinking baby thoughts, baby names, etc as i do almost every night....... and then all of a sudden for the 1st time........ i felt terrified. I got this overwhelming sense of fear that what if a new baby changes our already "perfectly imperfect" daily routine we have going. And makes everything so much harder... and money tighter... and life so much more chaotic than it already is... and my DS loses his role as "my baby!" And then... gasp... i started worrying that what if i just wont love a new baby as much as i love my son?? Seems impossible to ever love anything as much as i love him... so loving a new baby just seems so abstract to me! It's reassuring to know that other women have these thoughts & that these fears are normal........ and comforting to know once baby arrives these concerns hopefully disappear! But geez... the other night... when my mind went there... it was like hitting a brick wall!

Hi Naaxi :wave: -- Welcome! Glad to hear you have a plan in place & are ready to get started! So exciting!

Emily -- Funny how much changes in a year's time! Glad your hubby will be home soon! Bet he can't wait to hold Maya in his arms!!!!!!!!

I hope 2011 brings us many more BFPs & lots of babies soon! Happy New Year everyone!

 

[Naaxi]

Happy New Years, ladies! I've had thoughts about baby changing everything and not knowing what to do or not loving the baby or fearing the change of relationship between my OH and all that even before I have a BFP. I know it's irrational and things will work out and I know that I want this more than anything... But it still scares me.

With my friends that are helping it started off as a drunken notion that was dismissed, and then when we realised how expensive AI can be, and have spoken in theory lots and now we're finally all on the same page I don't think it will be an issue, but it would be easier if we conceived a boy, as they have 3 boys and he really wanted a girl, it might be harder for him if I have a girl.

 

[RubyRainbows]

I don't think it will be an issue, but it would be easier if we conceived a boy, as they have 3 boys and he really wanted a girl, it might be harder for him if I have a girl.

Yikes. Hope it's not hard for him no matter what. Somehow -- i picture it being even harder for his wife if you have a girl. Like she may feel bad she wasn't able to "give him the girl he wanted." But i sure hope not. I hope it's a wonderful, positive experience for everyone involved. What a generous, thoughtful "gift" they are giving you!

I had seen your signature the other day in a different post... and was hoping you would find us. Was also hoping you would find a new alternative to expensive frozen donor sperm. We had started that way too... and quickly ran out of money!

 

[rosie5637]

hi ladies

hope you all had a fab christmas and new year!

my donor is coming round tomorrow night. very excited and hopeful that it'll work this time, gonna give preseed a go and see if it helps.

anyone else due donations or in 2ww?

 

[RubyRainbows]

Good luck Rosie! My OH & i are in the 2WW with you! Hoping to test Jan. 15th if AF stays away!

 

[RubyRainbows]

gonna give preseed a go and see if it helps.

By the way -- we used preseed this time too. Our 1st time trying it!

 

[LunaBean]

Good luck girls! Im still having a break since me and OH broke up a few days ago!

 

[RubyRainbows]

Lizzie -- I didn't know you guys broke up! Your FB pics look so "happy" over the past week.... i was thinking it looked like the two of you had a great holiday!!!