Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[NovemberRayne]

I've exchanged a few emails with a potential via a yahoo group, and he sounds like the type we are looking for, he sent a photo last night and he is perfectly gorgeous... if all is truthful he is also a clinic donor and can prove clinical work, STD checks.

Question is... now what?

Do we arrange a meeting or keep it to the minimum, I'm not sure I want to form any relationship with him (friendship) other than a strict donor, is that wrong to do?

I don't know what to say next because he is definitely someone we would like to use for AI from next cycle (which would be mid feb) and I don't want to mess it up lol am I giving myself enough time?

*wibbles*

 

[snagglepat]

Hi November,

My personal stance is that a face-to-face meeting before starting actual donations is always a good thing. You can learn a lot about someone in person that just can't be communicated by email/phone, and it certainly doesn't mean you're branching into friendship. We met with both our initial potential donors before choosing and it was an essential part of the process. On paper, they were both pretty good matches for us, but one of them felt completely wrong once we were in the same room. He made us feel really edgy. The other was spot on and I'll be giving birth to the second child we've conceived with him any day.

Our donor isn't a friend, he's a donor. We negotiated that relationship right from the start. Although we will continue to have contact with him a few times a year by email and meet up occasionally (our current agreement is lunch once a year) so our children can feel familiar with the idea him when they do eventually ask about their biological origins, it's a formal relationship. He's been our donor since 2004 so there's been plenty of time for things to go wrong/evolve but they've stayed very much as we originally agreed which feels good for all of us.

That's just my stance on it though.

Best wishes,

Gina. x

 

[Nimyra]

We basically chose our donor on the basis on email/instant messaging conversations, but then we met in person prior to getting a donation. My thought was, well, if we don't like him in person, then we just won't use the donation and we'll start over next month. He was just fine in person too, so there wasn't an issue. We are not friends, although I would say we're friendly. I send him an update now and again if I feel like it, but there is no obligation.

 

[RubyRainbows]

I don't think a face-to-face meeting would lead to friendship... keep in mind you may be meeting him for several months for donations... and that can still remain "professional". I think you get a better feel for someone face-to-face. Since we have to travel a bit of a distance, we did not meet our two donors 1st. But we talked alot thru email & i saw several pics (plus verified some of their info online!) before meeting. In person i felt completely comfortable with both guys........ If we hadn't, we just wouldn't have used the donation.

Good luck! I hope you will get to start trying next month!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[OHaiMommy]

So, question for ya ladies. I've been reading here and other other internet sites about waiting for the sperm to liquefy before putting it in the syringe and then doing the insemination. I've been taking the approach of getting it in there as quickly as possible, because the might die just sitting in the cup! It also seems to me that it should go in as it came out, rather than letting it sit, as that's how it is done the regular way. What is the best?

Sorry if this is a silly question!

 

[Nimyra]

Either way is fine. Its just a bit easier to suck into the syringe if you wait 5 minutes or so.

 

[faithbabies]

oh gawd....really need yalls support...my potential known donor decided tonite not to be a donor, which i can support, i am just so nervous, over whelmed, scared , to put the $ out there, yet excited at the same time....we want to start sometime in march after my 5k.....i pray i find just the right match, i am heart broken my known match did not work please wishme luck!!!

 

[RubyRainbows]

OHai -- I've been wondering the same thing?? (Although by the time we get back in the room & get everything situated... about 10 minutes time has passed anyhow... and i think it's pretty much liquified. Don't think we can insem any quicker than that anyhow.)

faithbabies -- So sorry to hear your news! He sounded so promising! Can't believe he decided no. You'll just have to think of it as a fun adventure ahead of finding a donor! You should prob start soon if you want to start TTC in March! Good luck!

In a few hours we are getting on the road! The plan is to meet our donor tonight, tomorrow, & Monday! This will be the 1st time we will ever get 3 donations!!!!!! FX'ed everything goes as planned & we catch that eggy!!!!!!!!

 

[Nimyra]

Oh, Faithbabies, I know its really upsetting, but you'll find your right donor. It can actually be sort of fun posting ads and weeding through potential donors.

Ruby, Good luck with your inseminations this weekend! You have my number, so don't hesitate to call if something comes up. I hope there won't be a next time and this will be your lucky cycle.

 

[faithbabies]

hey ladies....thanks for the kind words...still upset about not getting fresh sperm, but on the upside have found a few potential donors from the yahoo group...one in particular i really like, he has a website and it is very informative...he will ship his sperm and its not frozen, it's kept cold and it is packaged using ice and he says this :The sperm that was sent with your shipment is suspended in a nutrient rich medium that contains Gentamicin and acts as a sperm life extender. The success rate is very close to that of fresh sample production, due to the addition of a nutrient rich media that feeds the sperm and allows for safe transport (48 hour time span) at cool temperatures.
anyone heard of this? I just hate to go on the FSDW website and still not find local donor and still end up having to use someone who can ship it....don't want to pay the $ to join FSDW either lol....and this guy has pics and drug/STD results and donor agreement....
advice please?

ruby...good luck girl!! babydust to ya!

 

[weeli_excited]

where can i get oral syringes from in england ?

 

[Tegans Mama]

Your GP should have some Or a chemist! they are 50p each

 

[NovemberRayne]

Update::

We've spoken further via email to our potential donor, and both sent photo's. Last night he agreed very happily to become our donor *does happy dance* we've exchanged numbers, so now all we're waiting on is my body to be ready to conceive (which should be mid february)

My partner and I went online and ordered syringes, sample cups and a bunch of ovulation & pregnancy tests - I kinda know my cycle but I ordered ovulation tests to be more precise

Is there anything else we both need in way of equipment???

I'm so excited and scared at the same time - after 2 m/c I hope if we do conceive this one will be a sticky

 

[SpudsMama]

I just did my insem (which is already having problems seeing as I ovulated a day early, hence not having a donation until the day after ovulation!!) and I think everything that could go wrong did!

I inserted the semen etc and all of that was ok, followed the instructions as I always do... then sat back to relax for half hour and realised I'd forgotten to use my pre-seed! After I'd waited for the right amount of time, I took out the syringe and what felt like all the damn donation came out with it!! All over my pillow as well

I swear if I don't laugh at this I'm going to cry lol

Something tells me I won't be getting my BFP this time lol!! xx

 

[snagglepat]

TTC Sept, just to let you know the baby I'm fit to bursting with right now was conceived after one single, very badly timed donation with no preseed that leaked everywhere whilst I was trying to nurse DD back to sleep after she got shaken by seeing a strange man in the house late in the evening. (Her biological father as it happens but she hadn't seen him for a year.) There is always hope!

Weeli, I bought a 5ml oral syringe in boots just last week - though they charged me £1.15 (clearly a rip-off I now learn...). I had to ask at the pharmacy counter but they had plenty stashed in a drawer behind the desk.

November, that's all we used. It sounds like you're all set! Good luck!

Gina.

 

[SpudsMama]

Snagglepat - spooky lol! I've been looking for someone all day who has been in a similar situation to me and found no one... how badly timed was the donation?? xx

 

[snagglepat]

It was the opposite to you, three days before ovulation. I do have a friend who is currently pregnant after a single insem the day after though, so it can work both ways if the planets align, the gods don't notice and you cross your fingers enough...

 

[Lisa223]

I go to the doctor tomorrow to talk about IUI with Fairfax sperm. They will not let me do it at home. It doesn't make sense to pay for the sperm as well as shipping just for it not to go right. The Dr even told me that it could take up to 3 cycles with IUI for it to work! And that's going straight into the uterus! I had regular BD with donor friend and i think i had a chemical pregnancy or none at all.. I had ALOT of symptoms though.

 

[EpdTTC]

Lisa you may want to try Midwest sperm bank out of Chicago. My RE really likes them because they are significantly cheaper, tend to have samples with very high sperm counts, and have cheaper shipping. If you have to go with frozen sperm you might as well get more bang for your buck!

Ruby how did your insems go this weekend???

 

[OHaiMommy]

Welp, anther cycle, another round of insems finished. We did it three days in a row, I think the two days before and the day of ovulation. Now the 2WW...